Models being asked to do disgusting things

[misterical]

This thread could easily be in the ask a model forum but I also wanted to ask it of customers who have become friendly with models.

As some of you will already have read, I have a very close friendship with a model in Colombia. I tip regularly for her time, even if it's not spectacular amounts by some standards and we get on like a house on fire. I care about her a lot. It's not a romantic thing in any way but we have a close bond and I enjoy spending time with her.

As well as streaming, she also sells custom videos. Last night she was telling me that someone has paid her an exorbitant amount of money to do something which, while not illegal, is not the product of a healthy mind either in my view and is just dangerous in hygiene terms. It's clear that the idea of doing it leaves her utterly disgusted and scared but the money offer is a four figure sum and is too good to turn down given the financial situation in Colombia.

Normally I'm not that guy. Normally I don't concern myself with what she does for customers. If she gets a big payout then I am delighted for her. But this one has really bothered me and I feel utterly, utterly sorry for her.

Any other customer been through something similar with a model who they are friendly with, or has any other model been put in a similar position by someone with more wealth than they have decency and respect for women? I know I'm probably going to get a few responses which say it's none of my business, and they will be right, it isn't. I know this is a business where customers can wield enormous financial power over models, especially from poorer countries but it just really bothers me on a human level.

I've never struggled to come to terms with what she does for other customers. That's entirely her business and I don't ask, but this one has really left me concerned. She's not a model who caters for fetishes at all. If she was then that would be fair enough. This is something that is clearly out of her comfort zone which she has been forced to consider on a purely financial level.

 

[misterical]

What is annoying me is that I really already know the answer to my own question. Support her and be there for her. I guess I'm just hugely pissed off at the customer. There will be models out there who specialise in his particular fetish who he could easily find. The impression I get is that he is one of these guys who gets a kick out of using money to get models to do things they are uncomfortable with because they can't afford to turn down his money. He's not interested in seeing the act itself. He's turned on by how uncomfortable it makes the model. I get that that's a fetish in itself but it still makes me super angry.

Maybe I just find it harder to tolerate because I don't view the model as a sex robot in the way he does because I have a regular personal interaction with her. Even still, men are horrendous sometimes.

 

[jekster]

No amount of money is worth sacrificing your own personal morals/views or beliefs for.

You have to live with yourself, so look after yourself (in this case the model).

 

[misterical]

No amount of money is worth sacrificing your own personal morals/views or beliefs for.

You have to live with yourself, so look after yourself (in this case the model).

I think you have to look at it in purely economic terms. The amount of money offered was probably three times the average monthly salary. I make no judgement on anyone who accepts an offer like that. My judgement is reserved for someone who uses financial power to put someone in a position where they have to make that decision.

 

[Ozzie_]

As well as streaming, she also sells custom videos. Last night she was telling me that someone has paid her an exorbitant amount of money to do something which, while not illegal, is not the product of a healthy mind either in my view and is just dangerous in hygiene terms.

The Internet and the porn industry have a lot to answer for as far as "normalisation" of unsafe practices are concerned, whether they be unsafe from a consent POV or from hygiene or physical safety/injury angles.

It's clear that the idea of doing it leaves her utterly disgusted and scared but the money offer is a four figure sum and is too good to turn down given the financial situation in Colombia.

I guess everyone no matter what our occupation each of us needs to have a clear view of our boundaries as far as what we are prepared to do to earn money. (Of course the pressures or boundary decisions put on cam models is completely different to what I might experience as a wage earning retail worker.)

It really is up to your friend to decide if the money is worth it or not. If I was in your position, and since you mentioned hygiene as an issue, I would be..... not offering advice as such, but discussing (again *not* advising) that aspect of it and how best to make it safe for her.

I hope that no-one here tells you it is none of your business, as from what you have said SHE has broached with you about this in the course of a conversation between friends and certainly if friend of mine in a vanilla job told me of something dodgy or dangerous that they had been offered money to do, I would surely be discussing it with them so they could get their own thoughts straight in their own mind.

Also I am sure the models here will mention the importance for her to be paid up front. Also how is the transaction going to be completed? PayPal and some others apparently are not sex work friendly. If this has ben negotiated through a cam site, then most (certainly SC) forbid off-site payments of ANY kind. So your friend must protect her futrure livelihood through this transaction also.

 

[Hiunds]

There are definitely some guys on cam sites who just plain hate women

I have a couple of models I know well enough for them to open up about the job and they have some pretty crazy stories about boundary-pushing requests too. Another has a customer who takes her private to do pretty degrading stuff and while she says it doesn’t bother her you can see how shaken up she is when she comes out of those sessions, even after taking long-ish breaks after

There isn’t much you can do but support your friend. She has to decide for herself what work she chooses to take on or turn down with all things considered

 

[misterical]

The Internet and the porn industry have a lot to answer for as far as "normalisation" of unsafe practices are concerned, whether they be unsafe from a consent POV or from hygiene or physical safety/injury angles.


I guess everyone no matter what our occupation each of us needs to have a clear view of our boundaries as far as what we are prepared to do to earn money. (Of course the pressures or boundary decisions put on cam models is completely different to what I might experience as a wage earning retail worker.)

It really is up to your friend to decide if the money is worth it or not. If I was in your position, and since you mentioned hygiene as an issue, I would be..... not offering advice as such, but discussing (again *not* advising) that aspect of it and how best to make it safe for her.

I hope that no-one here tells you it is none of your business, as from what you have said SHE has broached with you about this in the course of a conversation between friends and certainly if friend of mine in a vanilla job told me of something dodgy or dangerous that they had been offered money to do, I would surely be discussing it with them so they could get their own thoughts straight in their own mind.


Also I am sure the models here will mention the importance for her to be paid up front. Also how is the transaction going to be completed? PayPal and some others apparently are not sex work friendly. If this has ben negotiated through a cam site, then most (certainly SC) forbid off-site payments of ANY kind. So your friend must protect her futrure livelihood through this transaction also.

Thanks for that. She did raise it with me. I didn't ask beyond "what are you doing with your day off" and she told me this.

I care for her a lot and it pains me to know she has to do that to pay the bills in a tough economic climate.

As for payment etc, it's through a site which specialises in custom videos so I assume it's all above board and pre-paid.

 

[inertvolcano]

Ozzie already said this and I know you said it's above board, but if she decides to do it, which is ultimately her decision, she needs to make sure she is very cautious about how she accepts payment and that it clears before she does the video, as I know a model who got scammed with a refund/charge back by the customer in a very similar situation after the video was completed. That is my fear on hearing this story.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

One thing to consider is if she can hide or obscure her face in it. Glasses/wig or ideally no face. If it's something she really does not want to do i am sure she will not want that video being out there and traced to her. In my experience customers that like to push boundries like this have no respect for you as a human and may even get off on sharing it so you are distressed.

 

[tokensarentforkids]

As for payment etc, it's through a site which specialises in custom videos so I assume it's all above board and pre-paid.

Should check the T&C...

 

[misterical]

One thing to consider is if she can hide or obscure her face in it. Glasses/wig or ideally no face. If it's something she really does not want to do i am sure she will not want that video being out there and traced to her. In my experience customers that like to push boundries like this have no respect for you as a human and may even get off on sharing it so you are distressed.

Unfortunately she can't hide her face as it involves eating. You can probably work out the rest for yourself and understand why I am so annoyed at someone asking her to do something so degrading.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Unfortunately she can't hide her face as it involves eating. You can probably work out the rest for yourself and understand why I am so annoyed at someone asking her to do something so degrading.

If she is open to advice, suggest a wig, make up that is different from usual, glasses, and possibly a close up angle on her mouth or a mask.

 

[misterical]

If she is open to advice, suggest a wig, make up that is different from usual, glasses, and possibly a close up angle on her mouth or a mask.

Unfortunately, I would imagine said act has already taken place considering it was being filmed today. I feel a bit unentitled to be so angry about something which is effectively none of my business but when you spend a lot of time with someone then you end up concerned for their wellbeing and wanting the best for them. What we have here is a case of someone knowing exactly how far their dollar goes in some countries. I can't tolerate that.

 

[Marceline]

Unfortunately she can't hide her face as it involves eating.

Should check the T&C...

If she's accepting payment through an actual adult site, I would definitely agree that she should check the terms of service. Most clip sites have been really cracking down on what is and isn't acceptable since the payment processors have gotten so strict. Considering it involves eating and you've had such a reaction to it, I can only imagine what it entails (especially based off a plethora of requests I've gotten that has involved eating certain things), but I'm going to guess it's something that will go against most site's TOS.

A lot of the content I create is pretty niche fetish stuff, I'm pretty open minded when it comes to different fetishes and I've enjoyed my job, and yet I've gotten custom requests over the years that have really disturbed me. I personally refuse to film anything that makes me uncomfortable, toes the line of being outside of my site's TOS or that I don't want associated at all with my brand. In the long run, if it's something that will cause trauma or ruin your work reputation (especially if she's branded herself as a vanilla/non-fetish model) or even your personal reputation if the video started to circulate, you stand to lose money and have your mental health deteriorate in the long run. Or, if it gets circulated within crowds that have the same fetish, she may get even more requests for similar content. Which may not seem like a huge deal, but I can tell you from experience, getting multiple emails a week asking you to do stuff that you find disturbing can definitely take a toll on you.

 

[Ozzie_]

Unfortunately, I would imagine said act has already taken place considering it was being filmed today. I feel a bit unentitled to be so angry about something which is effectively none of my business but when you spend a lot of time with someone then you end up concerned for their wellbeing and wanting the best for them. What we have here is a case of someone knowing exactly how far their dollar goes in some countries. I can't tolerate that.

Anger at a friend being coerced to do something distasteful /dangerous/exploitative is perfectly legitimate, but try not to let it eat at you since in this case you can only have a limited effect to help.

Online friendships can be real and genuine, but there are drawbacks, like not being able to "actually" help in times of crisis.

 

[cbhours]

It's clear that the idea of doing it leaves her utterly disgusted and scared but the money offer is a four figure sum and is too good to turn down given the financial situation in Colombia.

Uh....i'd be super super suspicious of anyone offering 4 figures

 

[Shane]

If its really disgusting then it would have been banned by the camsite itself?!

Check - https://wiki.myfreecams.com/wiki/Rules_for_Models#Forbidden_Things - "4. Urination, defecation, "going to the bathroom", enema play, boofing..."

Every other camsite would have similar rules (or) the sites would be taken down!

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

Money doesnt alter what I will or won't do, although I do charge extra for wearing latex based on the extra time and care requird. The model mentioned may however be in a different position, or have a different stance.

 

[AudriTwo]

I honestly dont judge or care if its not illegal. Tos breaking... its a grey area because every site is different. I understand some models are maybe comfortable or maybe desperate to do gross requests. Personally recommend dont do it if your uncomfortable at all.

If they did them for the money i hope they know it doesnt define them or devalues them. If it is affecting them, i hope they get the support. May it be therapy or confiding in a trusted friend.

That being said, i think its poor in taste to make a thread topic about what your good cammodel friend told you in confidence then tell us about it asking for opinions.

 

[misterical]

That being said, i think its poor in taste to make a thread topic about what your good cammodel friend told you in confidence then tell us about it asking for opinions.

You know what, you are probably right. It wasn't intended to be a breach of confidence as it wasn't told to me as such. She's pretty open about these things. It was posted from a position of concern and helplessness to be honest. On reflection, I'd be very grateful if an admin could delete the post.

 

[sparks1957]

Uh....i'd be super super suspicious of anyone offering 4 figures

It depends, I was watching Artejones on CB yesterday and she received a tip of 500,000 tokens. That's $25,000.

 

[InannahQoH]

It depends, I was watching Artejones on CB yesterday and she received a tip of 500,000 tokens. That's $25,000.

Tokens can be passed back and forth between people on Chaturbate. Unlike other sites.

 

[GraysonDrake]

I think you have to look at it in purely economic terms. The amount of money offered was probably three times the average monthly salary. I make no judgement on anyone who accepts an offer like that. My judgement is reserved for someone who uses financial power to put someone in a position where they have to make that decision.

I mean, you're also making an assumption that she doesn't want to do it and is submitting to being treated like a sex doll because she can't say no to the money, but you have no idea what's actually going on in her head.

Sometimes people offer things and you go "Ehhhh I'm not especially into this and I wouldn't do it for less money, but I'd make enough for it to be worth my time." and it's actually a fair transaction because of this. There are also things that I will flat out refuse because I just don't wanna or I don't like the attitude of the person making said offer. It's all about context.

Don't infantilize her by assuming she's just being taken advantage of or doesn't have good professional boundaries, that's not how you be a good simp and support her. If she feels her time and efforts are valued by this transaction, who are you to say otherwise?

 

[Vixxen81]

2 Girls, 1 Cup was chocolate frozen yogurt in a condom stuffed up their butts. Just putting that down for informative purposes.

 

[Lilly_____]

I mean, you're also making an assumption that she doesn't want to do it and is submitting to being treated like a sex doll because she can't say no to the money, but you have no idea what's actually going on in her head.

Sometimes people offer things and you go "Ehhhh I'm not especially into this and I wouldn't do it for less money, but I'd make enough for it to be worth my time." and it's actually a fair transaction because of this. There are also things that I will flat out refuse because I just don't wanna or I don't like the attitude of the person making said offer. It's all about context.

Don't infantilize her by assuming she's just being taken advantage of or doesn't have good professional boundaries, that's not how you be a good simp and support her. If she feels her time and efforts are valued by this transaction, who are you to say otherwise?

This is so important. Her boundaries are not your boundaries.

 

[mira_leo]

2 Girls, 1 Cup was chocolate frozen yogurt in a condom stuffed up their butts. Just putting that down for informative purposes.

I needed this information like 10 years ago

 

[Vixxen81]

I needed this information like 10 years ago

Oh my heart goes out to you! You can also make brownies look like...that...if you use a cornbread pan shaped like ears of corn.

I'll drop the link instead of the pic.

(It's Pinterest)

Or it'll post the pic for me and hope I don't get sledgehammered over it.

 

[misterical]

I mean, you're also making an assumption that she doesn't want to do it and is submitting to being treated like a sex doll because she can't say no to the money, but you have no idea what's actually going on in her head.

Sometimes people offer things and you go "Ehhhh I'm not especially into this and I wouldn't do it for less money, but I'd make enough for it to be worth my time." and it's actually a fair transaction because of this. There are also things that I will flat out refuse because I just don't wanna or I don't like the attitude of the person making said offer. It's all about context.

Don't infantilize her by assuming she's just being taken advantage of or doesn't have good professional boundaries, that's not how you be a good simp and support her. If she feels her time and efforts are valued by this transaction, who are you to say otherwise?

Well this one seems to have been catapulted from the mists of time, back into the present day.

I didn't assume anything. All I did in this post was repeat what she told me. She may have been lying, exaggerating, under-exaggerating, who knows. I only repeated what she said. No assumptions. In the end she did it and got paid. No judgement from me and we've never spoken of it since.

 

[bud9752]

2 Girls, 1 Cup was chocolate frozen yogurt in a condom stuffed up their butts. Just putting that down for informative purposes.

wouldn't that be like COLD solid ??

 

[Vixxen81]

wouldn't that be like COLD solid ??

Not for long LOL