Members guilt-tripping models about breast implants

[LuckySmiles]

heyyyyy.... what's this

Whether its some God awful 'coffee maker tat'

hey! don't thank me and not explain!! lol really though am I dumb? did I miss something? WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNN?!

 

[Zoomer]

Hmm, from reading this I am coming to the conclusion that whatever I am told by a lady I should just say "sure, whatever floats your boat" - though I think most of my friends would get frustrated or annoyed that I didn't actually give them my opinion on the topic in hand (be it clothing, hair cut/colour, or choices about semi permanent changes to their physique!). Admittedly, most of the time I get complaints by not giving an opinion is when it is purely cosmetic changes (i.e hair cuts, clothing, makeup, whatever) and not surgery. But I would also feel comfortable with my friends to ask them what motivates them, and be sure they're not just rushing into something without thinking, if they told me they were getting a boob job. Its what friends are for and why I trust them. Prevent me rushing into something without thinking it through - which included the desire to get a nose job at one point Actually, I probably still would if it wasn't for blood, needles and pain

I can understand comments from strangers about yourself may not be welcome - but context is everything I think. "Shock" factor is the main reason. You are working on MFC, it is your image on display - and some will come because of that image (you're hot ). Some will stay because they like the atmosphere (person).

So think of it like a bar. Like Cheers Your favourite bar - some came in because the food is good, some for the company, and some because it's where everybody knows your name So, it's painted electric pink and green inside. Would you really not expect some to say "wtf?" and some to even say "omg I can't stand what you've done with the place".

Sure, a body is a different thing - but I don't think you should be that surprised some will pass comments/judgement. Changing boob size is changing decoration - the venue is still the same (the bar), but the appearance has changed. It may not be to everyone's liking... until they get used to it It isn't polite to question or be rude about the changes, but... it's going to happen.

 

[SoTxBob]

...like Cheers where everybody knows your name.

Camgirls, cold beer and.... ehrmmm... "finger food" .
What a great concept ! :-D

 

[Evvie]

Hmm, from reading this I am coming to the conclusion that whatever I am told by a lady I should just say "sure, whatever floats your boat" - though I think most of my friends would get frustrated or annoyed that I didn't actually give them my opinion on the topic in hand (be it clothing, hair cut/colour, or choices about semi permanent changes to their physique!). Admittedly, most of the time I get complaints by not giving an opinion is when it is purely cosmetic changes (i.e hair cuts, clothing, makeup, whatever) and not surgery. But I would also feel comfortable with my friends to ask them what motivates them, and be sure they're not just rushing into something without thinking, if they told me they were getting a boob job. Its what friends are for and why I trust them. Prevent me rushing into something without thinking it through - which included the desire to get a nose job at one point Actually, I probably still would if it wasn't for blood, needles and pain

I agree with you that when it comes to friends, that's a whole other cookie. If I were planning to, say, get my legs medically broken and stretched out to make me grow taller, I would probably talk a great deal with my close and personal friends before I ever talked about it on the Internet, and by then my mind would pretty much be made up - now, the only problem is dealing with all the jerks who don't care about my opinions and just want me to remain visually immobile.

I think that if a lady tells you, "I'm getting a boob job!" then it is appropriate to say "whatever floats your boat!". Similarly, if a lady asks you, "what do you think about me getting a boob job?" then it is appropriate to share your opinions and concerns. The trouble starts when people find a deep need to share their thoughts, or even go as far as to berate a model, after she has already made her decision. And that need is surprisingly strong.

I very much hope that our dear Miss Lolli will not mind me using her as an example. A few weeks ago (I think) on Twitter she announced that she was going to get a tattoo - something that she had been thinking about seriously for *years*. A lot of members proceed to treat her very badly, insinuating that she had no idea what she was doing and that she should not be allowed to make that decision (from what I read). After she said, "my mind is made up and I do not want to talk to anyone about this anymore," she continued to get messages that essentially started with, "I know you don't want to talk about this, but my opinions are more important than your boundaries" and members carried on scolding her even though she explicitly said she did not want to talk about it, at all.

I have said before that I have logged off MFC more than once in tears because after I made a minor life choice, members whom I considered to be my friends berated me and refused to drop the subject until all of them had said everything negative that they wanted to say, regardless of how it made me feel.

When I think about this (members guilt-tripping models about breast implants), I think of these examples - members so convinced that the model is too stupid to make her own choices that they will go so far as to say, "you should have asked me before you got surgery."

I can understand comments from strangers about yourself may not be welcome - but context is everything I think. "Shock" factor is the main reason. You are working on MFC, it is your image on display - and some will come because of that image (you're hot ). Some will stay because they like the atmosphere (person).

So think of it like a bar. Like Cheers Your favourite bar - some came in because the food is good, some for the company, and some because it's where everybody knows your name So, it's painted electric pink and green inside. Would you really not expect some to say "wtf?" and some to even say "omg I can't stand what you've done with the place".

Sure, a body is a different thing - but I don't think you should be that surprised some will pass comments/judgement. Changing boob size is changing decoration - the venue is still the same (the bar), but the appearance has changed. It may not be to everyone's liking... until they get used to it It isn't polite to question or be rude about the changes, but... it's going to happen.

I am all for members who are just in it for the paint job. On a look-see site like MFC, I do think it is unrealistic for a model to expect no comments at all from a personal change. Models receive negative comments on their appearance everyday, so it's not that big of a deal either.

The problem arises not when you observe a change positively or negatively, but when you insinuate or imply that the model was too irresponsible or lacked the intelligence necessary to make her own choices.

 

[Jupiter551]

If I thought a girl didn't need implants, while acknowledging my opinion is not worth much or anything, I'd tell her I didn't think she needed implants and follow up by saying that if she feels she wants them then absolutely, go for it.

Remember also, this is at core probably a visual industry. While those members who enjoy your personality will stick around, the ones that are just seeing you for the first time or just picked you because of their looks will likely leave (and have every right to without resentment from either party). And as idiots, do, some will be mouthy about it.

 

[ComicOzzie]

If you stop liking someone, because of something they do to their body, you never liked them to begin with.

This subject comes up in my chat VERY often. Yes, I plan to get implants sometime within the next year. And when my regs (and random new guys in chat) find out, they always say the same things (eg: WHY?!? You're beautiful without them! If you get them, I'm never coming back here!!) And I always say the same thing Shaun said. I've wanted implants since I was 10. Yes, TEN. Because my body has been exactly the same since then. I have to specially order clothes and bras because of my proportions. Essentially, I'm doing this for me. Not random guys online who see them. And if they are the type to stop hanging out because my boobs are fake, then fuck off... I don't want guys like that in my chat anyway.

I had a GF like this -- low self-esteem because she was so self-conscious of her flat chest. She got implants 9 years ago and has repeatedly said that it was the best decision she ever made. And that's the key -- it was HER decision.

 

[ComicOzzie]

...so what do you girls think about muscle implants on men?

We can get muscle implants? Sweet! :dance:

 

[Anonymous]

Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but don't be stupid enough to enter the room of a model with a brand new tattoo, and spend 10 minutes bitching about how you hate it when a female model "ruins her body" with tattoos. No model needs that kind of negativity in her own chat room, and she sure as hell doesn't need your approval for what she chooses to do to her body. Some people love to run off at the mouth, and then try to excuse their behavior by saying "Well, I'm just keepin' it real...I always speak my mind...." Yeah, yeah, yeah...and I don't give a shit whether you like tattoos or not. Is that REAL enough for ya? :lol:

And yes, the guys who made those comments in Kunra9's original post are idiots.

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

Okay, a few points:

- Firstly, an adult absolutely has the right to do what they want with their body.

- Unsolicited critiques of someone's looks are rude.

- On the other hand (and this does not mean the first two points don't apply), being a cam model does usually mean that you are marketing your appearance to some degree. Many of your customers/fans/whatever you call them come to you in part for your looks. That may be the main feature some of them care about, and they may be really put off by certain changes. Others may like you enough for other reasons to stick with you, whether or not they like the changes.

- In view of the prior point, I don't think it's surprising or that unreasonable for someone to voice an opinion if you announce your intention to get implants in your chat room. Remarks should be stately politely and not bombastically, but I think something along the lines of "I think you'd look better staying the way you are" is not really out of line if the model has broached the subject herself. As Trav stated, a lot of guys will be concerned that you're doing it to be more attractive to guys and will honestly just want to reassure you that you're really attractive as you are.

- Beyond a (hopefully) mild comment such as the above, people shouldn't really have anything more to add if the lady goes on to explain that she's thought about it, wants it for herself, etc. It IS her decision. Pitching a fit, threatening not to come back, hurling insults, and so on is just obnoxious. If you commented because you cared about the person, fine, but doing any of this is just mean and isn't consistent with caring. If her looks were the key point in you visiting her room, then move on if you don't like the change. There will always be all shapes and sizes to choose from.

Personally, I don't care for implants, and I genuinely like small breasts. That's just my opinion though. I might state my opinion politely (I hope), once, but I'm not going to try to force anyone to be what I prefer. The first time I heard Iris mention her plans, I may have given my two cents (really don't recall if I did, but I may have), but she's made it very clear that she's made her decision. She's heard all the usual input. Now it's time to respect her as an adult and shut up about it.

 

[bob]

I've never understood this about people who go public online. Chatrooms, webcams, what have you. You've entered into the public realm, welcoming compliments, insults and opinions. And yet when anything other than a compliment, or string of compliments arises, people get huffy.

As somebody who hangs out with men frequently, enough so that they start to forget to censor themselves around you, I know that a majority of men are firmly against soft balls in the tits. It doesn't look natural and they would rather look at something that's natural and not perfect than something with scars tracing around the nipples and under boob.

That being said, some men won't be happy either way. Nature does what it does and I'm a fine example of that. One day I'll be getting a breast lift, if and when I can afford it. But if I'm still camming at that time, I'll be opening myself up to public ridicule.

Put yourself in the member's shoes. A majority of them are men, so let's start there... and let's rewind back to Movember. I've spent my fair share of time in bars and I'm aware that women will pick on men for their decision to grow, or shave, their beard or mustache.

It's just the way life is. We're always open to public opinion and moreso if we put ourselves on the internet for a price. The small amount of trolls or overly opinionated men we find in camming is surprising... considering this is the internet.

So... in short. The internet is a place for opinions. Don't suppress it, enjoy it and work with it.

i really appreciate this pov :thumbleft:
i get the "my body, my choice" thing, but the idea that changing something about your body on a site where it's one of the principle products you're selling, and then believing that your customers in an interactive forum should not express their feelings about it is ludicrous.....and different guys are gonna draw the line about those expressions of feeling in different places, creating a spectrum that ranges from silent to outspoken.

whether you include the skillset of model/member friendship in your personal job description or not, familiarity is also gonna be a part of the work, be it defined as "good member", "regular", or "friend"....and part of that familiarity for a guy is gonna be a sense of closeness to a model....that's one of the reasons that guys come back to a model's room....familiarity and the sense of comfort that it brings can be just as empowering to a guy (and that usually means more tokens spent) as being the master of your own destiny can be empowering to a model.

 

[Nordling]

Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but don't be stupid enough to enter the room of a model with a brand new tattoo, and spend 10 minutes bitching about how you hate it when a female model "ruins her body" with tattoos. No model needs that kind of negativity in her own chat room, and she sure as hell doesn't need your approval for what she chooses to do to her body. Some people love to run off at the mouth, and then try to excuse their behavior by saying "Well, I'm just keepin' it real...I always speak my mind...." Yeah, yeah, yeah...and I don't give a shit whether you like tattoos or not. Is that REAL enough for ya? :lol:

And yes, the guys who made those comments in Kunra9's original post are idiots.

:lol: Exactly. And that "just keeping it real" phrase is one of my pet peeves. lol Almost always men use it and they use it as if to say, "yeah, I said something that only an asshole would say, but now I'm going to say, 'just keeping it real' which will make my assholiness into a virtue." lol

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but don't be stupid enough to enter the room of a model with a brand new tattoo, and spend 10 minutes bitching about how you hate it when a female model "ruins her body" with tattoos. No model needs that kind of negativity in her own chat room, and she sure as hell doesn't need your approval for what she chooses to do to her body. Some people love to run off at the mouth, and then try to excuse their behavior by saying "Well, I'm just keepin' it real...I always speak my mind...." Yeah, yeah, yeah...and I don't give a shit whether you like tattoos or not. Is that REAL enough for ya? :lol:

And yes, the guys who made those comments in Kunra9's original post are idiots.

:lol: Exactly. And that "just keeping it real" phrase is one of my pet peeves. lol Almost always men use it and they use it as if to say, "yeah, I said something that only an asshole would say, but now I'm going to say, 'just keeping it real' which will make my assholiness into a virtue." lol

Dave Chappelle had a brilliant sketch about keeping it real on his tv show. It would show people saying things and stating that they were "just keeping it real," and horrible things kept happening to them as a result. Other phrases like this, "meaning I'm being an asshole, but I'm claiming it's okay because I said this afterward," are "no offense," "just kidding," and "I'm just sayin'."

Oops, off topic. Back on topic: "open bobs at your own discretion, bb."

 

[Jupiter551]

Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but don't be stupid enough to enter the room of a model with a brand new tattoo, and spend 10 minutes bitching about how you hate it when a female model "ruins her body" with tattoos. No model needs that kind of negativity in her own chat room, and she sure as hell doesn't need your approval for what she chooses to do to her body. Some people love to run off at the mouth, and then try to excuse their behavior by saying "Well, I'm just keepin' it real...I always speak my mind...." Yeah, yeah, yeah...and I don't give a shit whether you like tattoos or not. Is that REAL enough for ya? :lol:

And yes, the guys who made those comments in Kunra9's original post are idiots.

:lol: Exactly. And that "just keeping it real" phrase is one of my pet peeves. lol Almost always men use it and they use it as if to say, "yeah, I said something that only an asshole would say, but now I'm going to say, 'just keeping it real' which will make my assholiness into a virtue." lol

Dave Chappelle had a brilliant sketch about keeping it real on his tv show. It would show people saying things and stating that they were "just keeping it real," and horrible things kept happening to them as a result. Other phrases like this, "meaning I'm being an asshole, but I'm claiming it's okay because I said this afterward," are "no offense," "just kidding," and "I'm just sayin'."

Oops, off topic. Back on topic: "open bobs at your own discretion, bb."

Yeah, it's like when someone says "I just call it how I see it" which is often attempted justification for being an offensive jerk

 

[crappuccino]

Just because you feel like you have that right over any other person's body you deem,

i don't. i just can't help but blurt out my opinion when i hear something like that.
and my opinion is: you want to be more attractive? you're a fucking model. hundreds of guys pay money to see a shitty cam feed of you. you're attractive enough, now chill out and be happy.
i won't hound you with it though, so *tips hat*

 

[Shaun__]

Just because you feel like you have that right over any other person's body you deem,

you want to be more attractive? you're a fucking model. hundreds of guys pay money to see a shitty cam feed of you.

I do not think some model realize how shitty that cam feed is. When I have saw HD video of a couple models for the first, my jaw just fucking dropped. They looked so much better, and it boggles my mind to even consider what they may look like in person.

 

[Jessi]

Small tit lovin' bisexual here.
Still think if you excersize your right to criticize a girl's implants, you shouldn't be shocked when she calls you a rude asshole. Don't like it, move along.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I'm not really very keen on plastic surgery, especially boob jobs, although I can understand why people go through procedures.
Now when my best friend said she was considering getting a boob job my answer was "I'd pay off all the debt you owe first...." "you're one of the prettiest people I know and have one of the best figures I've seen" "there's a large chance it won't come out the way you want it" "pay off your debts, you're already stunning, you can't be perfect, get over it". This is my best friend, and she has got an absolutely stunning figure already, is told it all the time and is really in debt too, so I think I might judge her quite a bit if rather than paying off her debts/getting over her one tiny body hang up she spent all that money on getting new boobs. But she's my best friend. I'll always love her, but your best friends are partly there to help you make the right decisions (at least think of all possible outcomes) and be there for you when you make the wrong ones. There are very few people who are allowed to say things like that.

Would I say these things to a random person off the internet? NO! Firstly, it's none of my fucking business. Secondly, I don't know their reasons for getting plastic surgery, or how long they've been thinking about it for, or anything about them in real life/how people around them treat them.
If a friend who genuinely has body hang ups/issues, and (without sounding too harsh) has good reasons for those hang ups, wants to get plastic surgery, has thought about it completely and for a long time, then I'd be completely supportive, it's fair enough.
If a friend who's already stunning decides one day to get bigger boobs I can't help but think "get over it, we all have problems" if you're already perfect on the outside and you're not happy, then the change you need to make isn't something that can be fixed by something on the outside. This is a call ONLY your very close friends can make, and even then, it won't go down well.

Men on camsites often seem to think they have a stake in our bodies. Sure they stare at them every day, so they feel like they're very well acquainted, in reality we don't know who the fuck it is on the other side. Something my mother taught me was not to make personal comments. We all slip up on this from time to time, but essentially, keep it civil, you have no right to say anything to a stranger about their body as much as you have no right to grab a stranger inappropriately. With some people, when it comes to camming, all common curtesy flies out the window!

 

[BlueViolet]

Just because you feel like you have that right over any other person's body you deem,

you want to be more attractive? you're a fucking model. hundreds of guys pay money to see a shitty cam feed of you.

I do not think some model realize how shitty that cam feed is. When I have saw HD video of a couple models for the first, my jaw just fucking dropped. They looked so much better, and it boggles my mind to even consider what they may look like in person.

Woah now, I stream in HD on Streamate. Might not be the highest quality thing in the world, but it's pretty damned good in terms of camming sites. I definitely wouldn't consider my feed "shitty", but thanks again for displaying your manners.

Also, I'm hearing a good bit of the "but your a model and so the guys that watch you should be able to voice their opinion on what to do with your body". I believe it's incredibly presumptuous to believe that a model isn't capable of understanding that what she does might affect her room. A lot of girls won't even cut their hair because it can hurt their income.

Girls who choose implants have thought a good deal about what it can do to their income. Unless a model specifically asks you, "Hey, I'm thinking about getting implants, do you guys think I should?" then don't say anything about it. If a model tells you she is getting them, then she's not asking for your opinion, she's stating what is going to happen. If you don't like it, that's fine, you don't have to!

The thing is, members come and go. A model knows that getting a few tattoos and piercings will turn some people away, but drawn in a different crowd. Even your hairstyle can do the same thing. If we lose some members/regulars because of a cosmetic change to our appearance, then we will get new ones that appreciate them. Personally, if someone stops coming to my room because of something I've done to my appearance--great! They can go find someone else to admire. I am not so desperate for their money that I won't change myself to make my own self happy.

though I think most of my friends would get frustrated or annoyed that I didn't actually give them my opinion on the topic in hand

This reminds me of two of my close guy friends. They feel the need to enlighten me with their opinion on anything I briefly mention about doing to myself. I've confronted them about it, and they both have actually said that they believe that I'd be more mad if they didn't tell me. I don't understand this. I mean--I'm not saying your friends aren't like that, I'm sure if your friends have actually told you to always give them your honest opinion even unwarranted, that they really do mean it.

But my friends seriously thought this without my express permission to do so. So anytime I mentioned getting a tattoo, he'd tell me to not ruin my body even though I've been wanting the same tattoo for over 5 years. If I tell him I'm going to cut my hair soon, he'll tell me, "Noooo! Grow your hair outttt!" If I tell him I'm getting a tan, he likes pale skin. If I tell him I'm dying my hair, it's not the right shade. And every time I tell him I don't need his approval or opinion and he always gives me that whole "but I'd feel BAD if I didn't tell you!"

I really don't know why I'm still friends with them.

 

[Jessi]

it's incredibly presumptuous to believe that a model isn't capable of understanding that what she does might affect her room.

Girls who choose implants have thought a good deal about what it can do to their income.

If a model tells you she is getting them, then she's not asking for your opinion, she's stating what is going to happen.

The thing is, members come and go.

I am not so desperate for their money that I won't change myself to make my own self happy.

Yeah, pretty much this. We do think about things before we do them. If someone has a hard time thinking of the camgirls they watch as adults who are capable of making informed choices, isn't it kind of unethical to be tuggin' it to them? Just move on along and find someone else

 

[Trav]

This reminds me of two of my close guy friends. They feel the need to enlighten me with their opinion on anything I briefly mention about doing to myself. I've confronted them about it, and they both have actually said that they believe that I'd be more mad if they didn't tell me. I don't understand this. I mean--I'm not saying your friends aren't like that, I'm sure if your friends have actually told you to always give them your honest opinion even unwarranted, that they really do mean it.

But my friends seriously thought this without my express permission to do so. So anytime I mentioned getting a tattoo, he'd tell me to not ruin my body even though I've been wanting the same tattoo for over 5 years. If I tell him I'm going to cut my hair soon, he'll tell me, "Noooo! Grow your hair outttt!" If I tell him I'm getting a tan, he likes pale skin. If I tell him I'm dying my hair, it's not the right shade. And every time I tell him I don't need his approval or opinion and he always gives me that whole "but I'd feel BAD if I didn't tell you!"

I really don't know why I'm still friends with them.

While that particular case sounds a bit annoying, I have to say, I've had friends call me out when I was about to follow through on a bad idea. I mean isn't that part of why people have friends? So they have someone who can say 'hey, don't do that. That's dumb!' when we might need to hear it?

That's not to say any of the things you mentioned are dumb, and I'm all for people forging their own path, but let's not pretend none of us have ever had a bad idea.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Girls who choose implants have thought a good deal about what it can do to their income. Unless a model specifically asks you, "Hey, I'm thinking about getting implants, do you guys think I should?" then don't say anything about it. If a model tells you she is getting them, then she's not asking for your opinion, she's stating what is going to happen. If you don't like it, that's fine, you don't have to!

From girls off here I have heard that getting implants does increase income on cam. That fact kind of makes me feel sad just because it reminds me just how superficial people are that someone getting fake boobs will suddenly make them want to watch them. But that is how the world is! It makes me just as sad that people will stop watching a girl for something like that.

Dakota, as for your friends, jeeze! Poor you! Lol I remember when I had blonde hair I wanted to dye it dark for years, I was nervous so I facebooked it asking for opinions, even once wearing a wig with the colour it is now, and everyone said "NOOO! DON'T DO IT!!!" Soon as I eventually did it everyone was like "wow! you look amazing! It suits you so much more!" Same people as were telling me not to dye it. Stuff like haircolour, well, you don't want to see a friend like burning her hair off! But essentially, it's a pretty harmless mistake, and hair grows back! Making those kinds of mistakes are necessary to do ourselves. Tattoos are more permanent, but essentially, they're pretty harmless past being prodded by lots of needles... If a friend wants to get a tattoo, you give your opinion on what to get, not "don't do it". If a close friend wants to go through surgery for cosmetic reasons, then you might want to speak up to make sure it's what they really want to do/if they're doing it for the right reasons, if they are/are determined and have the funds then really all you can do is help direct them to a decent plastic surgeon/support them through the process. What we do to our bodies is our choice.

Remember guys, webcam girls are there for entertainment, not to be criticised. When I come on cam I am not inviting comments, I'm just there for those who can enjoy me, those who can't can move on.

When someone said earlier if a man I was dating said they were going to get implants to look like muscles... mmmm..... don't hate me, but there's a fair chance I would break it off with him.

It's not a shallow thing, I don't tend to go for guys for looks anyway, but am not bothered if someone is skinny or muscly, it's because if a man decided to get plastic surgery, muscle implant, to me it shows several different things about their personality, and these things are all things I find extremely unattractive.
1. Insecurities. Sure everyone has them to points, but I am very attracted to confident men/men who are comfortable with themselves.
2. Vanity. To be willing to go through that kind of procedure and pay that much for it as a man, men who don't have any of the sorts of pressures women do to look a certain way (sure they get some pressure, but it's NOT the same), when the girl they're dating doesn't even find it attractive, just seems very shallow and vain to me.
3. Muscles are attractive because they show strength, not because of how they look(sure breasts are attractive because they show fertility, but we all use condoms/prevent childbirth, majority of women still like a strong man!). No strength with meaningless muscles? I find pathetic.
4. Laziness. Spending that much money and time recovering on something that you can achieve a better result from the gym seems ridiculous!
5. One of my issues with all plastic surgery is spending so much money on something completely aesthetic. Maybe if any of my body hang ups were things that could be fixed with plastic surgery I would hold a different opinion though. Personally I can't even buy myself a nice dress or anything that I don't need, and when I do it's a rare occurrence.
6. A complete disregard for my feelings. Essentially as much as people say "your body, your choice", that is very very true, but if your partner finds that kind of thing particularly unattractive, they have the choice not to stay with you, and you going ahead and doing what you want anyway will damage your relationship. You can love someone as much as possible, and they say love is blind, but essentially, being sexually attracted to a person is very important, if they do something you find really unattractive, it could seriously harm your sex life. If you chose to do that, then you chose to put your relationship at risk, and shouldn't really complain if it doesn't work.

For women's plastic surgery it is different. For one a LOT of men do like how it looks, whilst I've never heard any woman saying they like fake muscles on guys. A lot of female celebs have it, we are pressurised from a young age to look a certain way (this whole thread is about this pressure, even though this is pressure not to change, it's still pressure). Also things like a girl being insecure or even a bit vain, they're not unusual personality traits in girls, even ones that people find attractive.
I don't like either types of plastic surgery, but men getting that kind of surgery seems silly to me.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I don't like either types of plastic surgery, but men getting that kind of surgery seems silly to me.

This isn't necessarily related to the topic at hand, but I see no difference between a woman paying for surgery, and a man paying for surgery. In either instance, the person paying for the surgery is doing so because they want to change something about their appearance. It seems a little unfair to judge men more harshly for wanting to change the way they look just because they're men :twocents-02cents:

 

[Just Me]

For women's plastic surgery it is different. For one a LOT of men do like how it looks, whilst I've never heard any woman saying they like fake muscles on guys. A lot of female celebs have it, we are pressurised from a young age to look a certain way (this whole thread is about this pressure, even though this is pressure not to change, it's still pressure). Also things like a girl being insecure or even a bit vain, they're not unusual personality traits in girls, even ones that people find attractive.
I don't like either types of plastic surgery, but men getting that kind of surgery seems silly to me.

I can't help but think what a shit storm this statement would make here if made by a man about women getting plastic surgery.

How is this any different than what the people were saying in the models room that got implants? Maybe it is a little better because it is not directed at a certain person or model but at general behavior. While the likelihood of any male reading this will have had plastic surgery and thus be offended by it, I really do not see the difference of the men having the same opinion about women having plastic surgery and blurting it out in a models room.

If someone I knew was planning on a major change and asked for my opinion, I would certainly give it to them. Which for me is, do what will make you happy. Changing their appearance is not going to change what I feel about them as a person.

 

[SoTxBob]

I've had friends call me out when I was about to follow through on a bad idea. I mean isn't that part of why people have friends? So they have someone who can say 'hey, don't do that. That's dumb!' when we might need to hear it?

:icon-ugeek: written in the camgirl bi-laws .... Chapter4, Section 3, Paragraph 1, Sub Paragraph 7a... "...a camgirl shall neither make nor cultivate friends from the member roster and shall have no personal connection with said customer base."

Remember guys, webcam girls are there for entertainment, not to be criticised. When I come on cam I am not inviting comments, I'm just there for those who can enjoy me, those who can't can move on.

sounds a lot like how so many girls say they don't want to be viewed.,,
whats the term? .. "viewing meat in a glass box"
but to each their own.

 

[Trav]

I've had friends call me out when I was about to follow through on a bad idea. I mean isn't that part of why people have friends? So they have someone who can say 'hey, don't do that. That's dumb!' when we might need to hear it?

:icon-ugeek: written in the camgirl bi-laws .... Chapter4, Section 3, Paragraph 1, Sub Paragraph 7a... "...a camgirl shall neither make nor cultivate friends from the member roster and shall have no personal connection with said customer base."

Wasn't specifically talking about the cam world, but I can say from personal experience that's a law that is broken.

 

[LadyLuna]

heyyyyy.... what's this

Whether its some God awful 'coffee maker tat'

I believe Bob was referring to this post, in which:

If a friend I liked told me she was going to get a giant tattoo of a coffee maker that covers her entire back, I wouldn't say anything about it because if she's set on doing it, then she's going to do it, and mentioning I didn't care for it might just make her feel bad about doing something that she wants to do to her own body.

...so what do you girls think about muscle implants on men?

For the record, I don't like the idea of any implants, either boob or muscle. But when my forum friends have gotten their boobs, I was excited for them, and ecstatic to see how they turned out.

I think boob implants can look nice, but muscle implants look tacky. Then again, I also think overly-muscled men look tacky. Some muscle on the man is so nice, but too much is just... ew. But I only say these things in general. If I'm looking at such a man in person, I exercise this thing called tact that took me so long to master.

If a friend of mine was to tell me he was getting muscle implants, I would figure I didn't know him as well as I thought he did. I tend not to count those who focus on body-image among my friends. I'm more concerned with what's in a person's mind and heart, and tend to pick friends who are likewise more concerned with mind and heart over body. Thus, if they want implants, they are not who I thought they were anyway.

After all, I think I'd look stunning with bigger boobs, slightly bigger ass, and a fitter stomach, but I'm not even considering any sort of surgery to make it happen. If I wanted to get a tattoo, and a friend wanted to talk me out of it, I'd thank the friend for their concern after I'm done being all defensive over it and see their points. If I wanted to get a tattoo and a stranger wanted to talk me out of it, I'd get really defensive and drive them away without ever seeing their points. But again, my friends know I get defensive really fucking easily, so they mostly know that they need to wait out my irrationality.

 

[Kunra9]

Like I've said, voicing your opinion is fine. Once or twice at most. Telling a girl she is beautiful just the way she is, is perfectly acceptable. Telling a girl you think her body is perfect is absolutely acceptable.

However there IS a line that is regularly crossed by members, where they are CLEARLY trying to make the model feel bad, or guilty about her decision.

NEVER ACCEPTABLE

There are even guys who have the best intentions at heart, and are being very polite in their suggestions and questioning of the decision who cross the line when they just won't fucking drop it.

"Member: Implants?? You don't need them you're beautiful!"
Model: Thank you, but I really just want some bigger boobs.
Member: Have you put any real thought into this? It's a big decision!
Model: Yeah I've been thinking about it for a couple years already and finally decided to do it.
Member: What about the risks?!? Something could go wrong! They could come out ugly!
Model: I've weighed all the risks, I researched surgeons and chose one that comes highly recommended.
Member: What about the cost?? They're so expensive!!
Model: I have some money put aside/great payment plan/whatever
Member: Have you talked to your friends and family?? What did they say.
Model: Dude I talked to them. They all support me.
Member: OMG OMG BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS AND THIS AND THIS

Let it fucking go!

The examples I provided in my original post are crossing the line. There were many more examples from that night as well I just didn't want to copy them all.


Yes, this business is primarily based around physical appearance. Yes, the models should understand this fact and I'm sure that 99.9% of them do. Yes, any model should be prepared for the fact that changing your appearance may cost them some customers.

A model should never be made to feel unhappy about it. Ever.

Unless they look like shit.
(jk)

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Like I've said, voicing your opinion is fine. Once or twice at most. Telling a girl she is beautiful just the way she is, is perfectly acceptable. Telling a girl you think her body is perfect is absolutely acceptable.

However there IS a line that is regularly crossed by members, where they are CLEARLY trying to make the model feel bad, or guilty about her decision.
NEVER ACCEPTABLE

You raise some good points and I'd certainly agree if they'd already had the surgery than badgering someone is just being an asshole. However, before hand I don't know why saying these things are never acceptable. When people are young and foolish they do foolish things. Not that old people don't do foolish things, but enough young foolish people die off that Darwin takes over .

I don't even have that strong opinion about breast implants for models with small boobs. I suspect in many cases the additional money they make, more than makes up for the cost. Plus there is a benefit of higher self esteem.

But in general I think too many beautiful woman risk medical complications and decreasing their overall attractiveness by having boob jobs. More importantly I remember a interview with Playboy executive (Jeff Cohen) who said that for every girl that he saw that got a Playboy shoot because of her implants there were four who lost out on the opportunity to be a Playboy model because of a bad boob job.

I also believe in the power of peer pressure. If you ever have successful kept a drunk (generally a guy) from driving home, you know that it is a team effort. If the girlfriend say you are too drunk, he'll say "I'm fine lets go home", but once 3 or 4 people chime and tell him no you are too drunk to drive. The drunk will often reluctantly hand over his keys. I've certainly chimed in to be the 3r or 4th person even when I didn't know the guy that well.

I've even been convinced by an internet forum to do something different. I had a planned to take a wait and see attitude about evicting a roommate. But after every single person on an internet forum told me I was foolish to wait, and several explained the legal and other risks that I had not considered. I changed my mind.

I am sure that there are plenty of models who have their minds made up about implants. If I tell them, I think that that it would be a mistake, and they say my minds is made I don't need anymore input I'll shut up. But generally the conversation starts out this way. "I think I am going to get an implants cause I really would look better with C cups". The word I "think" it is fair game to change their mind,and if I and the vast majority of their regulars tell her that she looks great the way she is and how much we dislike fake boobs, well perhaps we can prevent an unnecessary surgery.

 

[Shaun__]

Just because you feel like you have that right over any other person's body you deem,

you want to be more attractive? you're a fucking model. hundreds of guys pay money to see a shitty cam feed of you.

I do not think some model realize how shitty that cam feed is. When I have saw HD video of a couple models for the first, my jaw just fucking dropped. They looked so much better, and it boggles my mind to even consider what they may look like in person.

Woah now, I stream in HD on Streamate. Might not be the highest quality thing in the world, but it's pretty damned good in terms of camming sites. I definitely wouldn't consider my feed "shitty", but thanks again for displaying your manners.

I have to admit your cam feed is probably not shitty, but I still think your girlfriend has an even more beautiful sight than your viewers do. I mostly stay on MFC and their feed is not great, but I like the emotes, the hidden tipping, and the social nature of its chat.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

HiGirls, although I understand the points you are making, there is a difference asking people on this forum for advice/asking for advice and then receiving it than receiving unsolicited advise etc from complete strangers about something you have spent a LONG time deciding over. Someone might as well tell me on cam they don't like my boyfriend choice and if I continue having sex with this person they will not visit me on cam anymore, it's none of their business.
If someone doesn't like fake breasts/big breasts then to be fair on a camsite they may stop watching the girl, as if one of the things they loved about the girl was her small natural boobs, fake breasts could easily put them off a girl.
If a camgirl says "I'm considering fake boobs, what do you guys think?" Then there is a chance of changing her mind and your advise has been welcomed. If she is already on the path of getting fake breasts, then it is NOT your place to say anything. She will have probably have been thinking about it for years, has completely thought it through, all you're going to do is patronise her and piss her off.

Just Me, you say it should be the same, equal with men and women, which is kind of a double standard because things will ALWAYS be different for men and women. Be thankful that women not only don't pressure men into getting surgery, most of us would find it a turn off if you did. Therefore you will probably never feel the need to go under an operation. Things are not the same for women. Girls often say they want to get bigger boobs for themselves, and granted girls do often find large breasts attractive/have big complexes about them, but most of these complexes come from men. Majority of men like women with big boobs, fake or not and very slim. This tiny figure/large breasts is something that very few women have naturally. Sure many men, including most guys I will be in contact with, are not bothered about this image, but it's clear that there's a majority decision.

I don't find a man prancing around, sexy dancing and touching himself sexy, even if he were really hot, watching a guy throw the moves I do on cam would repulse me. Yet men love watching women do that kind of thing, and gay men I know enjoy watching guys do that sort of thing. In fact, gay men would probably be less opposed to muscle implants/cosmetic surgery. Which kind of makes me feel that as much as men complain about plastic surgery, you are the ones who are pushing this image. Feel lucky you're straight. I have enough gay friends to know how much they're pressured to keep their body perfect. If anyone ever checks out a gay mag, you will see it's exactly the same as fhm/lads mags, yet the girl posing has been replaced by a guy posing. Check out a womans magazine, generally all the men are nice, humble looking guys, oh and usually fairly clothed.

The reason essentially it is different is because although a woman getting plastic surgery is doing it so that they like how they look etc, but also because of the worlds reaction to them after they have larger breasts. If a man gets plastic surgery he is just doing it because of how he looks in the mirror. It's a completely vain thing. Plus, how on earth are muscle implants even meant to work? it's not like you can tense them. The whole point of big muscles being sexy is because of what they are and what they imply! If a dated a guy with big muscles, who couldn't even tense/lift anything.... I'd far rather be with a skinny guy with no muscles than that. Actually, I don't mind skinny men at all!