Is she waiting for me...?

[ericlafayet]

You are approaching it from a rational viewpoint. You can't do that. Remember John Hinkley? Rebecca Schaeffer? Both stalkers were convinced they had relationships with the actresses. They see interactions by delusionally interpreting what the celebrity says and does. They read in secret messages to them from the celebrity. The relationship is completely real to them.

I don't think someone could feel they have a relationship with an artist don't meet personally, although he's over obssesed. Because of the definition of relationship, there's no relation.

But, anyway, here with models there's contact and kind of realationships occurs, so that's why I concluded with this:

Here is a question for users that are confused with feelings with models:

Do you think you would have had the same story with the girl if you hadn't paid?

For op: ask yourself that question, think about it.

 

[rockin_rod]

I don't think someone could feel they have a relationship with an artist don't meet personally, although he's over obssesed. Because of the definition of relationship, there's no relation.

But, anyway, here with models there's contact and kind of realationships occurs, so that's why I concluded with this:



For op: ask yourself that question, think about it.

The world is full of individuals, so who can say what someone else could/should feel?

 

[ericlafayet]

The world is full of individuals, so who can say what someone else could/should feel?

Well, I'm not a psychologist or expert on human feelings and emotions, I just explain my opinion about what a relationship is.

My opinion is that getting in love with someone is not when you like someone, but when you have a relationship, living that relationship and experiencing what a relationship means, then love is the result of that.

If you just like someone, there's no love, it's just atraction, whatever, I don't have any word for that. But definitely, not love, or not a relationship.

My 2 cents.

 

[AudriTwo]

I don't think someone could feel they have a relationship with an artist don't meet personally, although he's over obssesed. Because of the definition of relationship, there's no relation.

i dont have time to explain parasocial relationships, so read this.

 

[Ozzie_]

Well, I'm not a psychologist or expert on human feelings and emotions, I just explain my opinion about what a relationship is.

My opinion is that getting in love with someone is not when you like someone, but when you have a relationship, living that relationship and experiencing what a relationship means, then love is the result of that.

If you just like someone, there's no love, it's just atraction, whatever, I don't have any word for that. But definitely, not love, or not a relationship.

My 2 cents.

Perhaps it is a language issue?

You are speaking in absolutes on behalf of *others*:- "I don't think someone could feel they have a relationship with an artist don't meet personally". This is plainly untrue, as many obsessed, delusional, mentally unhealthy people feel exactly this (That they have a relationship with the object of their obsession). You were even given two examples of this:

John Hinkley, who in an attempt to "impress" actress Jodie Foster, with whom he was obsessed, attempted to assassinate then President Ronald Reagan

And

Rebecca Schaeffer, an American actress who was murdered by an obsessed fan in 1989.

So in this instance, while it may be your opinion that it is not possible for someone to think they have a relationship with someone they have not had actual contact with, your opinion is, to put it bluntly, wrong.

Of course if you meant to say that *you* yourself could not have a relationship with someone you had not met, then that is an ok statement to make as you are only speaking on behalf of yourself and your own feelings.

 

[Smoothie]

This is plainly untrue, as many obsessed, delusional, mentally unhealthy people feel exactly this (That they have a relationship with the object of their obsession). You were even given two examples of this:

John Hinkley, who in an attempt to "impress" actress Jodie Foster, with whom he was obsessed, attempted to assassinate then President Ronald Reagan

And

Rebecca Schaeffer, an American actress who was murdered by an obsessed fan in 1989.

If you want to see another example of this type of extreme infatuation with a celebrity, check out the documentary “I Think We’re Alone Now” about two different people obsessed with 1980s pop singer Tiffany. It’s a good reminder that you never know the environment people came from, and that can lead to obsessions and skewed realities that aren’t always rational to other people.

I found it eye-opening and pretty unnerving. And, possibly, relatable to a model that might have an obsessive regular.

 

[ericlafayet]

We're not on the same page hehe, let's clarify:

i dont have time to explain parasocial relationships, so read this.

Amazing article, thank you so much!

My point was to make clear that there was no relationship, as per the meaning of relationship.

Here we're not speaking about relationships, but, another "parasocial relationships".

parasocial interaction is a false sense that you’re part of a conversation you’re watching

and

a parasocial interaction is a false sense that you’re part of a conversation you’re watching (say, on a reality show) or listening to (like on a podcast with multiple hosts).

I didn't know about that parasocial thing, but, it helps to explain what I was saying. There's no relationship. They're experincing a "fake" relationship, for whatever reason. A relationship is a matter of two persons.

Thanks for the article, it was nice to learn about that.

Perhaps it is a language issue?

Maybe. I'm not speaking my mother language, so my apologies.

 

[AudriTwo]

We're not on the same page hehe, let's clarify:



Amazing article, thank you so much!

My point was to make clear that there was no relationship, as per the meaning of relationship.

Here we're not speaking about relationships, but, another "parasocial relationships".


and


I didn't know about that parasocial thing, but, it helps to explain what I was saying. There's no relationship. They're experincing a "fake" relationship, for whatever reason. A relationship is a matter of two persons.

Thanks for the article, it was nice to learn about that.




Maybe. I'm not speaking my mother language, so my apologies.

its important to remember even though they in reality aren't, the person who thinks they are in a genuine relationship believes it to be so. it's a one-sided relationship. they are in a relationship with the delusion. the standard definition for relationship copy and pasted from google: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

rough example: i have a relationship with certain musical artists because they really impacted my life. helped me express and feal during dark periods in my life. they have a relationship with me, and all their other fans because we bought and supported their art. in a parasocial relationship the person may interpret that relationship as that musical artist totally different. if they hear "i love my fans" they might interpret that as the musical artist specifically loves them.

 

[Omne35]

We're not on the same page hehe, let's clarify:



Amazing article, thank you so much!

My point was to make clear that there was no relationship, as per the meaning of relationship.

Here we're not speaking about relationships, but, another "parasocial relationships".


and


I didn't know about that parasocial thing, but, it helps to explain what I was saying. There's no relationship. They're experincing a "fake" relationship, for whatever reason. A relationship is a matter of two persons.

Thanks for the article, it was nice to learn about that.




Maybe. I'm not speaking my mother language, so my apologies.

You've clarified it now to a mutual relationship. You originally stated that one side alone could not feel that they are in a relationship. Whether or not it's mutual or "fake" is irrelevant when discussing a delusional person. It's as real to them as any other mutual relationship to someone like you.
An anology, someone hears voices telling them things. Nobody else hears it and you would say it's not a real voice because that requires another person talking. However to the person hearing it it's completely real and they may well follow what it says.

 

[MarieElise]

John Hinkley, who in an attempt to "impress" actress Jodie Foster, with whom he was obsessed, attempted to assassinate then President Ronald Reagan

What woman in their right mind wouldn't want to date a would-be murderer, after all? (lol)
Nothing screams stability more than a would-be assassination attempt ...

 

[ericlafayet]

You've clarified it now to a mutual relationship. You originally stated that one side alone could not feel that they are in a relationship. Whether or not it's mutual or "fake" is irrelevant when discussing a delusional person. It's as real to them as any other mutual relationship to someone like you.
An anology, someone hears voices telling them things. Nobody else hears it and you would say it's not a real voice because that requires another person talking. However to the person hearing it it's completely real and they may well follow what it says.

Okay, got it. To me doesn't makes sense, just because I never heart about that parasocial relationship thing until today.

I was meant an affective relationship, based on the experience and feelings from one to each other. As I have total lack of knowledge about psychology, I was looking for more information on Google, and I found interessing articles about social relationship, and some theories like interchange, desire of rewards per contribution like effort, care, attention.. and also cognitive theoris, and it goes deeper and deeper.

So interesting thing to learn. Thanks guys.

 

[ericlafayet]

the standard definition for relationship

That was the problem, I was speaking about affective relantionship between two people, because of the guy who thinks could have a relation with a cam model that interacted with him. But yeah, I see now that relationships and interactions are not as simple as I thought.