Im in Romania and I haven't gotten my kidneys stolen yet

[Peekabooh]

But certainly, continuing to support someone who has 0 respect and appreciation would definitely be even more expensive wake up call later rather than sooner.

Was that your deal? Travel all the way to europe to discover camgirls in the east part earn a decent living?

 

[Phoenix4987]

Why would I need to travel to Europe for that? Respect. That's all I wanted. You can be fake with someone and still respect/appreciate them and what they do for you at the end of the day.

 

[EllaGray]

Wut? You bought a ticket to "call her bluff" and "to save $$?" That is so forceful and gross. What is up with all you dudes lately being obsessed with meeting your models?

Like, wow if someone just showed up because they felt they needed to see me respect them...yea not happening at all. Camming is an online thing. If someone starts acting shady towards you, just move on, ONLINE, no need to actually go see them. How you do not see the fault in what you are doing is beyond me.

 

[JickyJuly]

So... do all the girls you pass on the streets look as pretty as all the Romanian camgirls? Just wondering. They seem unfairly beautiful as a group.

 

[Sevrin]

So... do all the girls you pass on the streets look as pretty as all the Romanian camgirls? Just wondering. They seem unfairly beautiful as a group.

And do they spasm uncontrollably when there's a loud noise?

 

[swagger]

Is it just me, or does Claire seem like a saint in this story? She's not your prime cam girl, but goes to meet you anyway, probably has to sit through waaaaay too much talk about how wronged you've been by Jackie. She also does this with very little to gain, knowing that any fantasy veneer will be ripped away when you meet in person and she tries to show you a good time (non sexually), but can't quite make it a blast because of the awkwardness of the situation.

 

[Dan N]

Bottom line, you have both your kidneys right? Lucky dude.

 

[Phoenix4987]

I don't know what to say. I should have ended things and not come here and definitely not see her if I knew how she really felt about me. That I was just a game or a joke, something to brag about to her friends that she makes money off of. In a way, I wish I was ignorant of it. The fantasy "veneer" as @swagger calls it, could still be in place.

Better to just come as an ignorant member and enjoy the fantasy without being aware. Because being aware, it just was in the forefront of my mind all the time and really made me fucking nervous. Although the 2nd get-together was A LOT better than the first. She didn't really put me at ease by the way she was acting.

Is it my fault for being curious because she said a word I recognized that described me and I just had to know? Better yet, should I have thought more carefully what to do with the truth? Surely, I was pissed. Man I was pissed. Who wants to be made a fool of by someone they supported for so long?

But the truth is, all members get bullshitted to a degree. We're simply not supposed to know exactly,exactly and how could we be sure exactly,exactly the fact from fiction. Even, I'm sure my other friend I saw has her opinion of me and I'm sure it isn't all positive either.

In some way, I almost feel like I owe her something. How she really feels or not, she still took time out of her day, took a huge risk and paid for our expenses, no matter how small they were. Even if she was acting in some way, reading through this thread has made me realize I wasn't acting right either and I can't place the blame entirely on her if she wasn't so happy to see me.

 

[AerynShade]

But the truth is, all members get bullshitted to a degree. We're simply not supposed to know exactly,exactly and how could we be sure exactly,exactly the fact from fiction.

Only because you're bullshitting yourself.
What do models on this forum keep saying? 'We aren't here to meet members. This isn't a dating site. We are just here to entertain you.'

YOU decided to try to make it real.

 

[Phoenix4987]

Me? No. Shit got real when she was the one who invited me and approved the dates for my flight. She could have easily said "I don't meet members, I have no interest in meeting you." And she could have very easily NOT seen me. But she did.

Who said anything about dating? I had no delusions about making either girl my girlfriend. Just a getaway to meet with a model that I had known for over a year.

 

[AudriTwo]

"Whoa whoa guys, she invited me. Even though I knew she was bullshitting me and I had to prove her wrong. I am innocent here. Also I only spent half what I usually spend on her, so it's okay."

Do you realize how insane this all is, right?
This is a good lesson to learn though. People on the internet lie and fake their feelings.

 

[Phoenix4987]

Eh, I wouldn't have came if my other friend didn't say it was ok. That was the only reason I'm here. I had a good time with her so I'll take that away from all this.

That girl didn't have to see me if she didn't want to, I didn't force her to do anything. She did everything of her own free will. She's not so innocent either, since you don't really know her. But whatever,

I can't change what's been done or said.

 

[Frustrated]

My summary of this is, models and members are just humans. They make mistakes, some lie, some do not, some are nice and friendly persons, some are not. And this is equally true for online and offline personas. What a grand revelation. I'm super sure some of my regular guys could be cool persons offline too and some might be complete idiots offline. Some will find ME a pretty regular and boring person offline and make a forum posting about it. That's just the way it is. Apparently it took a trip to Romania for you to discover this obvious thing. Enjoy your time in Romania.

 

[Mikey_P]

Some of you guys really get caught in the cam girl web. All of this reads like a really interesting Vice documentary!

 

[OldHippy]

It seems to me we are never happy with what we have and being greedy inevitably ends in disaster.

I also have a friendship with a cam girl. I enjoy talking to her on site, as well as through other channels. I tip her well and I also sometimes send her some money or gifts. In return she shares her time and part of her life with me. I find it amazing to learn how someone else lives their life in a different country and culture to my own and it usually brightens what would otherwise be a mundane day to hear from her. I find it amazing that technology has enabled us to have a friendship like we do.

We sometimes joke about me being with her when she goes out, or her comming to the beach with me. It would be easy to take these fantasies seriously and I must confess that I have on occasions thought about meeting her in real life, but I just can't see how that would end up working out well for either of us (in some part due to the stories you read on here). So I guess I that is why I say be happy with what you have. I was certainly not looking for a friend when I first joined a cam site, but I have one now and I consider myself happy and lucky to have that opertunity.

 

[caramia]

I know how much plane tickets to Ro cost from the US (I assume you are from the US as IDK you and other details of the story), and if your ticket and lodging are only about half of what you used to spend on cam, that is a shitload of money for locals there. You should never give anything to anyone with the expectation that you will get something back. That just sets you up for heartbreak and disappointment. This applies to cam and real world interactions. Gifts with hidden expectations (respect in your case from what you said), are tainted and do not allow for genuine exchanges to take place. Back to the money part, I could see Jackie not wanting to lose a financial supporter like you, hence her last effort perhaps to mend things by agreeing to meet sooner. Maybe she did it partly out of guilt or desperation. Only she knows.

From what you said about the two models, Jackie was just better at selling you a fantasy that fed your need for love for appreciation, and I am sure she loved the income boost for her effort. Claire seems like she was up front with you that she has needs, and won't suck up to your ego to have said needs met. Of course that feels off putting to you since you only give to get something back, but heck, at least it doesn't sound like she tried to play you.

If you want to be a truly nice guy and get over your self absorbed feelings & bruised ego, take Claire out in daylight and do something nice for her without expecting anything back, not even a hug or a thank you. Just give from the heart like it is your last day alive and you want to brighten someone else's day because money doesn't matter when you die. See how she reacts when she figures out you don't want anything in return, and how that makes you feel. Doing kind gestures with no strings attached is a scientifically proven way to increase one's happiness levels, and it sounds like you could use some of that right now.

 

[Bobbie Madison]

It's been interesting here so far. A lot different than I imagined. I am struggling to balance expectations vs reality I admit. Not sexual expectations, but expectations about a true friendship and not one between a client and customer.

My biggest thing about not meeting people down the line is that I think they would expect sex since they saw it all already lol. Nice to see that everyone is not expecting sex. Or I automatically assume if a guy wants to meet up it's secret code word for escort business and they don't want to say it because of the legality depending on the location.

On the other hand, if I, camgirl or not, just being me, travel to a different country to meet up with my guy friend, idc, I want some dick. Just being honest.

 

[Frustrated]

I'm sure most guys from cam would find me f***ing boring in my real life and be disappointed.

 

[Peekabooh]

The other girl seemed to respect you. But you not go for her.

Don't trying to be rude, just don't understand the reason you took the trip.

Europe is beautiful and Romania isn't different in that way. Cam industry is well developed. You must know in your mind it's very much business. Do you care if a normal business partner is a lunatic when he delivers?

 

[Phoenix4987]

I learned a lot from this experience. Mainly about myself and where I went wrong. About respecting boundaries truly and not to do unnecessary things to tear those down. About expectations and not trying to force more than what is being offered. And respecting the huge leaps and bounds the girls went through to make this all happen.

I don't regret the trip, but I definitely regret my behavior and motivations. Perhaps I'll get myself off of the cam site and just maintain contact outside. See where things go from there.

 

[Mikey_P]

I don't understand how customers believe that their friendship with a cam model is something that is 'real', that has a 'true' friendship foundation and any roots. Sure, there have been models who have befriended, married, dated and moved in with their big tipping members but cam sites aren't facebook or a dating site so making it into anything but entertainment is going to create confusion and sometimes disaster. I never understood the over investment in models, not in spending big money because that is part of the entertainment, but over investing emotionally or with your time and creating expectations. The expectation that giving money = you are owed anything other than good customer service, (which in the camming world comes with its own unwritten contract that is very much personality, persona and attitude based) is a bit foolish.

I hope you had fun away from dealing with lukewarm models!

 

[heybarkeep]

All I'm getting from this thread is that you were on vacation and yet for some inexplicable reason still sober enough to have a whine on the internet. It's almost as if you weren't even trying to wake up in a strange place missing a kidney.

I don't understand how customers believe that their friendship with a cam model is something that is 'real', that has a 'true' friendship foundation and any roots.

Never really understood it myself. Hard to not feel bad for the guys that don't realize or can't accept that they are basically paying people to be internet friends. The guys that treat it like a dating site are a special breed of stupid that I have much less sympathy for. The time and money and energy spent in an effort to buy a relationship is funny to me. Why these dudes don't just hit up the bars, I will never know. Can still have fun at camsites while being aware of the reality of the situation.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I think it's really easy for outsiders to judge when they themselves are not the target of the long con. The whole point of a long con is that you move at such a natural pace, that like watching a puppy grow you almost don't notice the dramatic change.
These threads are good warnings to members who are not familiar with these ultra common tactics.
It's wicked shitty that many models do this but they do, to a staggering degree and you can't really blame someone for wanting to feel loved and desired. It's why the GFE is so popular, though the only ethical GFE is one with clearly laid out boundaries and understandings first. Not my bag but I get it.

 

[Kitcatt]

I have to admit, I always wonder when I read these types of threads, if some of this type of "model interaction" is the inability of the model to say "no" when faced with their highest tippers wanting to meet. Lets be honest, we have no idea if you weren't single handedly supporting her, Phoenix. You clearly were spending butt tons of cash in her room and you could have easily made up 90% of her income. When I was a baby cam girl I know I had one or two members who essentially bankrolled me until I developed a wider audience (up to and including sending me rent when I transitioned from a shitty website to a better one where I could earn more money).
I'm not saying what she did is right, but dear GOD man, you were spending the price if that trip +++ in her room every month? So probably about what? 2-3k, give or take? (depending on if you flew first class, then that's closer to 5-7k) That's an awfully big carrot and to be quite honest I can't say I really blame her for trying to keep your interest?
It's easy for models who don't struggle to cast judgement, but I could see a lower earning model having a really difficult time turning down that type of meet and greet.

 

[Val Vega]

It's easy for models who don't struggle to cast judgement, but I could see a lower earning model having a really difficult time turning down that type of meet and greet.

Absolutely! If you are going to throw money at me, I'm going to take it. The John here is ultimately responsible for putting himself in that situation where they cannot separate fantasy from reality.

 

[DonaDiabla]

Thank you, Mikey_P. Personally, I also never understand any of this either. Also, I never understood models who allow for their customers to get overly emotional invested in them. I would have cut anyone off for becoming emotional invested in me. Lucky, most of my customers are too jaded for such things but I did have to kick a few to the curd. I mean this is becoming more and more of problem as time goes on. Particularly, if this crap is involving a chick like myself. I am not even friends with my customers and it happens to me. Camming should be fun entertainment and not a dating service. I blame both cam models and customers for such problems. Cam models for not stopping this behavior and customers for not respecting the entertainment.

I don't understand how customers believe that their friendship with a cam model is something that is 'real', that has a 'true' friendship foundation and any roots. Sure, there have been models who have befriended, married, dated and moved in with their big tipping members but cam sites aren't facebook or a dating site so making it into anything but entertainment is going to create confusion and sometimes disaster. I never understood the over investment in models, not in spending big money because that is part of the entertainment, but over investing emotionally or with your time and creating expectations. The expectation that giving money = you are owed anything other than good customer service, (which in the camming world comes with its own unwritten contract that is very much personality, persona and attitude based) is a bit foolish.

I hope you had fun away from dealing with lukewarm models!

 

[Frustrated]

Telling heart breaking stories including a deep desire to meet up "to get me out of this shit" is totally part of the game and an essential part of the training at studios in eastern Europe. I know that from a friend who worked there.

 

[BoobieT69]

Telling heart breaking stories including a deep desire to meet up "to get me out of this shit" is totally part of the game and an essential part of the training at studios in eastern Europe. I know that from a friend who worked there.

Really?Because I used to work in a studio years ago and what the owner always said is to be nice to our clients and never ever tell the members we are going to meet.Let`s call it what it is,emotional abuse towards members,and that is not ok.Every model is different and everyone has a different way of camming.

 

[Mikey_P]

I think models from smaller/poorer countries seems to run more of the Juliet long con game. Obviously not all but each time I hear one of these stories it is either from an Eastern or Central European model or a Colombian model.

Cam girls are addicting just like any other drug-- Drug being anything that causes addiction via increased hormonal and neurotransmitter levels linked to pleasure, desire and positive outcome-- Also, psychological addiction and how other humans influence us, how the brain doesn't necessarily know the difference between fantasy and reality. Why some dudes go overboard and project GF and friend values onto models. It happens.

Humans love drugs.

 

[Sevrin]

Telling heart breaking stories including a deep desire to meet up "to get me out of this shit" is totally part of the game and an essential part of the training at studios in eastern Europe. I know that from a friend who worked there.

There may be some studios that do that, but it is not at all the norm. Unless your friend, who I imagine was also a model, worked at a lot of studios, she was basing herself on a very small sample size. It's like saying "Mothers are bad cooks. I know because I had a mother, and she couldn't cook."

The main things that differentiates EE models from their Western counterparts is that they have fewer well-paying alternative employment opportunities and that they are more likely to live with their families because housing is relatively expensive, and therefore cam away from home.