I'm in love with a cam girl :/

[jypero127]

Alright so I already know that sounds ridiculous and I'm so mad at myself for allowing me to get in this situation in the first place but I'm in love with a cam girl I even found these forums from searching and trying to find answers on what I should do.

Anyway I guess I'll start the point....I've been speaking to this girl for about 8 months now and everytime I speak to her I feel a lot closer everytime and she just makes me feel a way no one else has ever been able to make me feel. I used to see about every week or so but recently it's been more like every 2 weeks and I've always taken her private. It's getting to the point now where I'm struggling to carry on justifying the amount of money I'm spending on her as I always end up staying for a really long time and I'm not good at leaving her. When we talk we seem to have a lot in common and she seems to know a lot about the things I like so I'm not just attracted to her but also her personality. I have brought up once before about possibly seeing her by not using the site and not having to pay but she just says that it is difficult to do so and she would get in trouble if she did do that. Common sense should tell me that she is using me just for the money since she has gotten so much from me but my heart tells me that there is something and I just feel like we have a connection. Even when I try and see her I can't do as I end up missing her too much and I can't help but think about her all the damn time.

So basically I'm asking on some help on what should I do? I do realize that I sound like an idiot but I can't help it

 

[justjoinedtopost]

https://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Hear...16276&sr=1-1&keywords=dealing+with+heartbreak

 

[Gen]

Doesn't matter if you feel like you have a connection, she told you she won't speak to you outside the site. So the door is closed.

I do feel for you as it sucks, but it sounds like you already know what you need to do (block her and take a break from campsites), you just need to make yourself do it. Make yourself disengage and maybe try to be more social offline, if you want to meet people.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I wouldn't say she's 'using' you (unless of course she says she loves you/openly leads you on into thinking she wants an actual relationship with you)-- she's just doing her job and it can be incredibly awkward if anyone suggests we meet on another format other than a camming site.

Also a bitter pill about camgirls to swallow is: If we have feelings for you most of the time we will tell you and find a way to break rules and make it work. I usually go with the 'it's against site rules' as an easy out when guys try to suggest meeting in real life etc. I always bring this up in these threads but since it applies: I fell in love with a member and we've been together for nearly 2 years. I was the pursuer of that and I think even if I was on a site where it was against the rules I'd find a way to make it happen.

I think most models have had members fall in love with them and it's always a tricky situation to navigate. I've had to ban members for making me SO uncomfortable for pushing the whole love thing on me so enjoy her and the experience for what it is-- fun time between a camgirl and member.

To be blunt, having stuff in common and liking her personality isn't unique also by any means. I have a lot of stuff in common with members and most members will tell you how much they love certain girls personalities/vibes. I don't know why people often comment on that sort of thing like it's an anomaly "I actually like your personality not just your body!" is something we hear all the time.

If you've dropped enough hints about there being more of a connection with her and she hasn't reciprocated anything I'd just leave it at that. If you find it's too hard to just interact with her on that level I'd take a break from her and focus on other areas of your life the same way anyone else dealing with being in love with someone unattainable does.

I'm a romantic and since I'm engaged to someone I met on a camsite, I always hope for the best in these types of situations. But if she hasn't shown any legit signs of feeling the same way there isn't much you can do other than accept that it's not meant to be and take a break from seeing her if it's too painful.

Also you're not an idiot! Camming can be an incredibly intimate experience and many members/models have felt the same way

 

[SaffronBurke]

"I actually like your personality not just your body!"

That's why dudes are on a camsite in the first place, so when someone says that... Duh, it's the point! If you weren't looking for a little personality with your sexual stimulation, you'd be on a different site entirely!

 

[DonaDiabla]

Here is some tough love, Jypero127. You need to just let her go, block her, stay off the cam sites, meet other people, and get back on schedule. Cam models are just doing their jobs and I feel that you just got caught up. It does not sound like she is using you either.On a personal level, I never allow my customers to get too close to me emotionally and block all who go into that realm. Luckily, most of my customers respect my wishes. So, just let her go and focus on other areas of your life. Good luck!

Alright so I already know that sounds ridiculous and I'm so mad at myself for allowing me to get in this situation in the first place but I'm in love with a cam girl I even found these forums from searching and trying to find answers on what I should do.

Anyway I guess I'll start the point....I've been speaking to this girl for about 8 months now and everytime I speak to her I feel a lot closer everytime and she just makes me feel a way no one else has ever been able to make me feel. I used to see about every week or so but recently it's been more like every 2 weeks and I've always taken her private. It's getting to the point now where I'm struggling to carry on justifying the amount of money I'm spending on her as I always end up staying for a really long time and I'm not good at leaving her. When we talk we seem to have a lot in common and she seems to know a lot about the things I like so I'm not just attracted to her but also her personality. I have brought up once before about possibly seeing her by not using the site and not having to pay but she just says that it is difficult to do so and she would get in trouble if she did do that. Common sense should tell me that she is using me just for the money since she has gotten so much from me but my heart tells me that there is something and I just feel like we have a connection. Even when I try and see her I can't do as I end up missing her too much and I can't help but think about her all the damn time.

So basically I'm asking on some help on what should I do? I do realize that I sound like an idiot but I can't help it

 

[heybarkeep]

take a break from campsites

I feel like op would benefit greatly from camping for a few months tbh

 

[AliceSombers]

I don't really have any advice, but I just want to say that I feel for you. Camming is an extremely personal and intimate job. Anyone can easily get so wrapped up in it! I hope you find some peace.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

Cam is a fantasy. You are having a hard time delineating the line between real and fantasy. That fantasy stops when that private ends. She has said she isn't interested in anything outside of your cam relationship in a nice way. You have your answer. Sorry you experienced this. We all experience heartbreak at some point.

 

[Tilly]

You're not in love. You're in lust.

 

[LivingInMyth]

I never thought I would be posting from this point-of-view. I was in your position three months ago and reached out to this group to add clarity and perspective. In truth, I was not ready for what they said. I was in denial, thought I would prove them wrong and that my perceived relationship was the exception. Read "Am I Being Gullible" for all the gory details. While the message wasn't always delivered with diplomacy and tact in the end all of it was true. Love will find a way. If she loves you and misses you she will find a way to contact you offline. Also, if she loves you she will not want to see you suffer. And will offer you alternatives to minimize your costs. I heard the same thing from the cam model I was visiting, that "I can't contact you offline or I will lose my job" and "I will make it up to you when we meet." I bought it all. She told me she was going to leave the business over Christmas so that finally we could meet. I heard those same words for 12 months along with "I am sorry that I hurt you" and "I will make it up to you." I never saw her naked. Just talked. Gave her time to rest and sleep. She texted me two days before I was getting on the plane for Bucharest. Told me she couldn't meet because she was too scared to get into a relationship yet. And that she'd have to work another year. I had an engagement ring in hand. Planned the whole trip out to the minute. No remorse. No disclosure. Let her go for awhile. If she loves you she will miss you and will reach out to you just as you have reached out to her. It is a shame that some cam models take this route to easy money because it really tarnishes the reputations of those who make their intentions clear. I am still struggling with my loss and broken heart - and the acknowledgement that the person that I loved turned out to be so cruel. But at least I'm no longer bleeding money. And I am trying to rebuild my relationship with my son. Also, in therapy for love addiction since I was the one who allowed for this to happen. Feel free to contact me privately if you need support of have questions that I might be able to answer as this story is very close to mine. Get out early. You can't avoid the pain but at least you can start the healing now. I was in it for 16 months. If you are anything like me, you will spend more and more time (money) the deeper you go down the rabbit hole. It will only get worse. They (models) are great at validating you and making you feel important. That feeling is intoxicating (I know it all to well.) Good luck. And let me know if I can help.

 

[schlmoe]

(block her and take a break from campsites)

And this one time at band camp...

(Sorry Gen, I couldn't resist )

 

[summerale]

As hard as it is, it would be best for you to cut communication with said model.

Also a bitter pill about camgirls to swallow is: If we have feelings for you most of the time we will tell you and find a way to break rules and make it work.

Agree with that too. Models come up with their own rules for how they want to interact or what they'll do with members outside of the camsite. If there's a connection they'll break their own rules they set.

 

[MiaFoxUK]

depends on the site too, though i agree that you need to step away. On streamate if we even say 'google me' we can get suspended.

So on that note, everyone add me on twitter mkay. But back on topic, take a break, get out into the offline world for a bit, take up a new hobby, start a new exercise class or just walk places and look at stuff, it really helps xx

 

[Albert_1]

Here's a guide on what not to do.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/would-it-be-ok-to-visit-a-model-as-a-surprise.25440/

 

[Ambers Troll]

I know the feeling, feel exactly the same way quite often: Every model I visit knows she has my heart. Don't deny your affection for someone you like, but in this situation you can't let yourself be led by it either. It will always create an odd dynamic to place so much of yourself in a model. If you love her, you will consider how your feelings might affect her, especially if she believes you.

There is nothing wrong with feeling for a model, but unless you are serious enough to take some risks, to take it out of fantasy realms (eventually stopping spending on her), then don't talk too much of love.
Finding love always takes risk.

 

[Empress Mika]

Ehhh... Excuse me but I'm not really a feeler (according to that Myers Briggs test) - but it is nice to see that others can emphasize with you here. However, in my opinion, you can't possibly be in love with her because you've never met in person. Oh, you're in love but, in my opinion, you're in love with your perception of her... which is probably why it feels oh-so-perfect, as your mind unconsciously fills in the gaps because it was all online. So, of course you fell hard but it just wasn't a full reality of things or of her. I hope this helps you move on. You deserve better than someone who takes your money and leads you on. Duh. You need to reflect on how the fuck you put yourself in this position in the first place, learn, and move onto a woman that can be with you in reality.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Ehhh... Excuse me but I'm not really a feeler (according to that Myers Briggs test) - but it is nice to see that others can emphasize with you here. However, in my opinion, you can't possibly be in love with her because you've never met in person. Oh, you're in love but, in my opinion, you're in love with your perception of her... which is probably why it feels oh-so-perfect, as your mind unconsciously fills in the gaps because it was all online. So, of course you fell hard but it just wasn't a full reality of things or of her. I hope this helps you move on. You deserve better than someone who takes your money and leads you on. Duh. You need to reflect on how the fuck you put yourself in this position in the first place, learn, and move onto a woman that can be with you in reality.

You are correct in what you say but we always fall in love with our perception of the person who has received our affection. The only problem here is that there is no actual demonstrable evidence to support those conclusions so one either trusts without evidence or chooses to move on. In my case, I choose to believe her story without evidence or proof. In fact, as people here have pointed out, her lack of effort was the evidence that I should of been looking at which would of given me the answer to my doubts. Instead I ignored the warnings only to have my world come crashing down when she told me she didn't want to be with me three days before my flight to spend the Christmas holiday with her.

 

[JoleneBrody]

OP never said anything about her leading him on, just want to point that out.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I posted this years ago but reckon my thoughts on the vast majority of these "I'm in love with a cam girl" threads haven't changed since then.

- I've said it before, I'll say it again; MFC should have a disclaimer/warning pop up when members log on reminding them not to "fall in love" with the models.

- It's always worth remembering that when you ('you' being any member who develops unhealthy feelings for a cam girl and not specifically the OP) "fall in love" with a cam girl, you're essentially falling for someone who doesn't exist in the real world. I can kinda see why so many doods fall into the trap of thinking they're in love with a cam girl - they're beautiful, they're witty and funny and fun to be around, they're popular, they're completely comfortable with their sexuality and their kinks, they think nothing of walking around their house with their lovely naked boobies exposed and glistening with baby oil, they're really adept at getting themselves off for those nights where their partners are too tired to fuck or are sacked out on the couch watching football or playing computer games or out drinking with friends, they're independently wealthy, and they're eager to make your wildest sexual fantasies become a reality. Near enough every cam girl is the perfect woman, right? Except that's not who they really are.
On cam, they're projecting a hyper-sexualised, fault-free, care-free version of themselves for the purposes of entertaining members and making money to pay their bills. In their every day lives, they're just regular people. They snore, they fart, they moan, they cry, they worry, they argue, they get the shits and stink out the bathroom, they get drunk and pass out and have to be carried home, they're not always in the mood for sex, they leave dirty laundry strewn about the bedroom floor, they wake up with bags under their eyes and drool hanging out the side of their mouth and smudged, fudged make-up sticking to their face because they were too tired to remove it the night before... and that's the person that their boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives ultimately fall in love with, and that's the person that members seldom ever get to know. It's always the abstract, sexual entity with smatterings of legitimate personality traits and likes and dislikes that members fall for, and not the girls themselves.

 

[Ivy Adams]

Unfortunately, this can happen. All of the people who have posted replies said pretty much everything that I wanted to say, but I want to stress the fact that it is our job to sell you our personality. Every single member in my room is there because of a connection we have found based on them liking my personality. Personally, I put a stop to anything that goes beyond friendship right away, but some models hustles are different then others, especially if you're having one on one time.
The truth of the matter is that it is her job to be your fantasy, so take comfort in the fact that if you actually were to get in a relationship with her, it probably wouldn't turn out the way you imagine it would. I think it's extremely smart for you to ask for perspective and advice, and definitely take a step back and find the line between reality and fantasy.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Unfortunately, this can happen. All of the people who have posted replies said pretty much everything that I wanted to say, but I want to stress the fact that it is our job to sell you our personality. Every single member in my room is there because of a connection we have found based on them liking my personality. Personally, I put a stop to anything that goes beyond friendship right away, but some models hustles are different then others, especially if you're having one on one time.
The truth of the matter is that it is her job to be your fantasy, so take comfort in the fact that if you actually were to get in a relationship with her, it probably wouldn't turn out the way you imagine it would. I think it's extremely smart for you to ask for perspective and advice, and definitely take a step back and find the line between reality and fantasy.

All of the models who have responded on similar posts have said that they make it clear to their clients that all of this is fantasy. And I know it is not the responsibility of the model to ensure that the client does not fall in love with them. Having said that, the model should not be insinuating that the relationship will move into the real world (off cam) if they have no intentions of making it reality. That I believe is the responsibility of the model. I am sure that there are clients who only hear what they want to hear but when a model is planning to spend the holiday with you (after a 15 Month online relationship) and does not go through with it and tells you "it's me not you" then I think they've crossed the line.

 

[ExcellaExe]

All of the models who have responded on similar posts have said that they make it clear to their clients that all of this is fantasy. And I know it is not the responsibility of the model to ensure that the client does not fall in love with them. Having said that, the model should not be insinuating that the relationship will move into the real world (off cam) if they have no intentions of making it reality. That I believe is the responsibility of the model. I am sure that there are clients who only hear what they want to hear but when a model is planning to spend the holiday with you (after a 15 Month online relationship) and does not go through with it and tells you "it's me not you" then I think they've crossed the line.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Yeah I probably should let it go but it'seems only been three weeks since the bombshell so I'm still a little heartbroken. I guess it really shows. Apologies. I really am trying to get over this. Still stunned that there are people out there who will do these things to others.

 

[YelloMit]

You're not in love. You're in lust.

I was pretty much going to post the same thing.

 

[JGenius]

Maybe make a warning part preventing that's a fantasy with testimonies of peoples who've believed into promised.
But i think too story of pragmatic peoples who've been able to control themselve and have moved on their own way without trying to make dreams come true

 

[YelloMit]

Here's a guide on what not to do.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/would-it-be-ok-to-visit-a-model-as-a-surprise.25440/

Jesus. This is how I felt after reading OP's posts.

 

[Phoenix4987]

It's going to take the man some time to heal and accept everything that has passed. So instead of ridiculing him, wouldn't it have a more positive effect on his life to let him vent, especially if he's being empathetic and trying to be helpful to someone who he feels is in a similar snag? I mean, yes "Let it Go" is an appropriate expression of how you feel about it, but good grief. The man is out $75k so give him a break.

 

[Sevrin]

Jesus. This is how I felt after reading OP's posts.

What "posts" are you talking about? The OP only posted once. At no time did he mention meeting in person.

What's more, he hasn't logged in here since that one post. Maybe he just needed to get this off his chest so he could get some perspective. It's not the kind of thing you'd typically want to bring up in casual conversation with acquaintances.

 

[YelloMit]

What "posts" are you talking about? The OP only posted once. At no time did he mention meeting in person.

What's more, he hasn't logged in here since that one post. Maybe he just needed to get this off his chest so he could get some perspective. It's not the kind of thing you'd typically want to bring up in casual conversation with acquaintances.

I meant the OP in the linked thread. My bad.