I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me how.

[Shaun__]

I was visiting a model every time she came on and was a regular in her room. I did not talk much in the room conversations, because I was often uninterested in them. I would talk to the model but she would not respond to me about half the time. The same with tweets, most went unanswered. When I asked if she would be interested in doing something with me she would tell me no. If I said I enjoyed doing something she would tell she did it with one or two other people in the room but not extend the same chance to me. Even non-sexy stuff. I never begged for anything for free, except for a picture drawn on her whiteboard on my birthday like she did for someone else.

I sent her a MFC mail the other day and said I did not feel like I was fitting into her room and was not going to visit her everyday, but I would still drop by to say hello every so often. I also said it was my fault I was not fitting into her room. She took it very badly.

Should I have snuck away without saying anything? Should I have kept going to her room everyday and just lowered her volume?

I honestly do not even know why she cared I was leaving. She never wanted to do anything with me. I barely tipped her anything and she insisted I never talked.

What would you want someone in this circumstance to do to you?

 

[Tyrsca]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Wow, Shaun, you had to bring it here? Can't deal with it on a personal level with her? Hope you get the attention you want.

She isn't hard to get along with and I think you were taking things wayyyyyyyyy too personal.

 

[skiphop90]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

How do you not understand what the problem was? And moreover, why are you posting this on here knowing full well she will see it rather than speaking to her directly?

For the benefit of the rest of the forum, Shaun made next to no effort to talk to the rest of the room. Everyone knows the kind of member who will only speak directly to the model and not involve themselves in conversation with the other members in the room. The problem in this case being that when he did try to talk to the model, it was either things which were hard to reply to or just uninteresting. And then there were the conversations via tip notes which not only removed himself from the room chat but also made the model feel uncomfortable.

Sorry, but this is nothing but a "I'm a victim" post and I've already told you what I think about what you did, and this, along with the replies you sent to myself and the model, just further clarify the level of douchebaggery you possess.

And again for the benefit of the room, he decided to tell the model this the night before she had something to attend which she was very worried about, and this left her very irritated.

 

[spika]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

If I'd been in the model's position, having the fact that we weren't really connecting on a level where you were inspired to be involved with conversation or tip brought to my attention would probably hurt my feelings and make me question what I was doing wrong, when in actuality all that's happening is two people aren't hitting it off... and that happens. It's normal. Not something to make a big deal about.

I think the best thing to do in that sort of situation in the future is to drift away quietly, stop by occasionally if you want to, and if she brings up your absence answer honestly, but otherwise... I don't think the model really needs to know why you aren't coming around.

 

[Marokite]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Hmmm... I'm not sure, but honestly it seems you were expecting more than you should have from the model.
If you don't participate in the room conversations, then I can see you feeling like you are not fitting in. People are chatting with each other, and you are on the sidelines.
Look at it this way:
It's like going to a party and watching everyone else drink and laugh while you sit in a corner. You occasionally try to tell the hostess something, but it has nothing to do with the conversation at hand. The hostess just doesn't know what to say to that. Eventually you call the the hostess and tell her you're not coming to the parties because you're just not fitting in with her crowd. (it's not her...it's you) I'm pretty sure the hostess would still get upset. If you don't like the party, you don't have to go. You don't need to tell the hostess. That's just calling attention to it and stirring up stuff that doesn't need to be.
I'm thinking the best thing would have just been to fade away and not bring it up. Bringing it up just put the model on the spot and tried to make your presence in the room to be more than it is.

 

[Longhorn9in]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

I think Marokite said it the best. I had to leave for a while and I told her why and left. I didn't expect her to reply. She's one of the best models on MFC. I come back to her room every now and then and she still treats me very good. I personally think you have a problem and shouldn't come on here whining about it.

 

[hackneyedfey]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

I don't think it takes a woman to see how you fucked up. First, stop trying to push off your problems. Not fitting in the room? Well yeah, it takes effort to get used to a room, me of all people is telling you that you can't blame that on anyone else. And you didn't just say "it was my fault". You said "it was my fault" and then proceeded to list the reasons why the room wasn't good at letting you get involved. You blamed the room the very next sentence. That's just lame. Especially when instead of talking in the room, you hide all your messages in the notes of small tips. Next, you didn't say you'd be stopping by less often. You told her, and I'm quoting "I think tonight was my last night as a regular in your room ". You told her you weren't a reg anymore, not just that you were going to be less frequent. You said you "may pop in every once in a while" (again quoted).

And for one of the bigger things you should see and realize that you fucked up? Won't do things for you? Well how about the fact that she had told you MULTIPLE times that she would NEVER do something, just to have to ask again and again. She even told you that she was uncomfortable doing at least one thing in particular you wouldn't stop asking about. That's just rude, and shows you don't care how she feels or what she thinks. I don't know why it bothers you that you still didn't get "model things" from her if you were told repeatedly for months that you weren't going to get them. Honestly man, it was frustrating just to watch. And in your statement explaining you leaving, THAT was one of your reasons?? That's just insulting man, plain and simple. You NEVER learned that your entire time in the room, and apparently even on your leaving.

And finally, if you're going to come by less, JUST SAY THAT. End it there. Your explanation dug at the room and dug at her for not accepting you like you wanted. You may not have intended that, but that's how what you said sounds to the rest of us. Like longhorn said, there's no reason a person can't come by less and still be accepted. No reason to go on about everything to her, let alone post it public. Your timing was pretty bad on top of all of that. If you need help figuring out what went wrong? Well you've gotten some responses here, hopefully it's dealt with well enough, and this thread can die a lot faster than some of your previous threads.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

This post explains so much.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Hmmm did someone hang their dirty knickers out for everyone to see! I see a few skid marks flapping in the breeze!

 

[mynameisbob84]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Sexy laundry. S'all I'm saying.

 

[Jessi J]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

shaun sent this:

I think tonight was my last night as a regular in your room Starz. I have tried to fit in but it has been a total failure on my part. About half the conversation is about poo and the other half is inside jokes. We can not even talk about TV anymore because of spoilers. I have been thinking about this for several weeks but when I saw your tumbler post about me I realized how I had failed completely in trying to connect with you. You never seemed to want to do any model things with me anyways so maybe this is what you wanted deep down. I will still be there for you if you ever want to talk to me. I may pop in every so often just to say hello as well.

Okay so one of my regulars jokes about poo. Yeah it's gross and it can be funny, but we all have a good laugh. He is just being silly and talking about poo. Sometimes it is overbearing and frustrating to hear conversations take this turn, but HE knows that and tones it down when I ask him to. (by "he" I mean the person discussing poo :lol: )

Inside jokes are in EVERY model's room. When you go to bed at 8/9 pm you are going to miss a lot. Often both my regulars and I would try to catch you up on the ongoings of the room, but you seemed disinterested. We always said hello to you when you came in and good bye to you when you left, but beyond that all you managed to do was leave notes in the tips and occasionally say a few things in the room. My room isn't ever very occupied, but lots of people's comments would get lost in a barrage of other people chatting. That's just something that goes on when you have everyone chatting at once and people chatting about different things. I try my hardest to respond to everyone, but I miss certain things from time to time.

Not to mention that a lot of the things you said I had nothing to respond to them with. They were such odd comments that it was better to kind of ignore them than to bullshit my way through them. You NEVER tried to take part in the room. At one point you were one of my highest tippers and then you dropped off and hardly tipped anything. I never said anything to you about that because your finances are none of my concern. I shouldn't call you out for something like that, that is just silly and incredibly rude on my part. You told me that you wouldn't be able to tip as much because you paid 3 different girls way to Exxxotica. I never questioned why you gave them so much money and not given something to me. It's not my concern. Had you just bowed out or said you weren't coming by as often I never would have questioned your motives in any way.

Longhorn9in told me why he wouldn't be by as often and I did not respond to him. I was not sure what I was to say. Of course I was sad to see him go, Dennis is AWESOME. Every time some jackass came to my room he was so sweet and quick to respond to them. I hope he knows that I appreciate when he comes by, even if just to say hello. I doubt I make him feel like he isn't welcome anymore. All you had to do was tell me you would pop in from time to time instead of pointing your dirty fingers at me and basically tell me it was my fault that I allow my regulars to have fun, just to cater to your low self esteem.

You complain about not being able to discuss tv shows, well Bob and Stevie don't get to watch the shows when we do. It's not fair to ruin the shows for them when they haven't seem them yet. I think that is just being nice to the other people in the room. Sometimes I haven't seen the shows that we watch and I am not able to talk about it anyway. That's a silly point to make in 5 months worth of you coming to my room.

You asked me on NUMEROUS occasions for me to dance. I have never once danced on cam and I made it apparent that I wasn't ever going to. I am not a dancer, I have never been a stripper, I have no moves, and I am the epitome of a white person trying to dance. You made this an issue in my room that I was not happy with. You asked me over and over and asked if I would do it in true private. I said no, why? Because I have my limits of things that I am comfortable with and what I will and will not do. Dancing, as silly as it may seem, was one of those things that I was not comfortable with doing. I will not lose my convictions for money, I am sorry.

Also, I hate doing privates with one person anyway, they seem too intimate and personal. Yes, I went private with Hack because he had never gone private with anyone before and he has always been so insanely good to me, I felt like he deserved my undivided attention. He was a gentleman the whole time and made me feel comfortable. But as you have seen we have never gone private again. It has nothing to do with HIM, but with my issues of being alone with someone and having them watch me masturbate. It strikes me as odd. Again, I am sorry that I feel this way, but I refuse to put myself in a position in which I feel uncomfortable just to suit your needs. The money isn't that important to me.

I took time out of my day to go to the post office and send you a thank you note. I did not have to do this, I never asked you to purchase things for me or give me tokens, yet I still went out of my way to let you know that I was grateful for the things that you had done. I talked to you about your mother and your concerns with that. I let you come into my room and talk about purplestar over and over and over even though I was fed up with it. I did not like you mentioning her in my room.

You even made it an issue when I said I wanted to put purple streaks in my hair, basically saying you wouldn't like it because of purple star. I am not her, I am just me. My hair color doesn't make or break who I am and I am offended that you made so many references to the things that she had done and say that I remind you of her. I am not her. I am sorry you had issues with her, but I couldn't hear you talk about her all of the time in my room. It brought a negative vibe in my chatroom, made me uncomfortable, bothered me and left other people speechless.

At the very end of the message you say I can talk to you if I need to. Why? You never chatted with me in the chatroom anyway, so why would I want to discuss my personal life with you if you never took the extra steps to make me feel welcome in my own chatroom?

A regular sent you a message about the message you sent me, then you send me this:

You still refuse to talk to me when you can talk to them instead I see. They are your regulars. I am not blaming you for not fitting in. I said twice it was my failing for that.

I did not want to send you an anger filled response because it wasn't fair to you OR me to take time out of my evening when I was tired to respond to you.

I was not complaining you did not want to do anything with me either it was just an observation. I could not even get a picture for my birthday like Jim.

I don't even remember where you asked for this. I didn't get jack shit from people on my birthday, so why is it so necessary for me to go out of my way to try to make you happy for yours? THIS is my livelyhood AND my job, I can't cater to every asshole that comes into my room. I am sorry that I am being so blunt, but it is the truth.

I will ask you this, why did you never give any response to the half things I typed in your room? I cannot talk to someone who does not talk back?

I never intentionally ignored things you said, you made such off colored remarks sometimes that I was simply speechless. How am I to respond to everything?

Your tumbler post where you called me quiet was painful to me. I tried and failed to connect. I felt like I was unwanted. I am paranoid Starz and started worrying you were mad at me and put me on ignore as I typed last night.

You ARE quiet in my room, you have basically admitted to that, so I am curious as to why it is such an issue? I really did try to make you feel comfortable, but there was only so much that I could do to make you feel welcome before I finally ignored everyone else in my chatroom.


You have had issues with at least two different models now. Don't you think that maybe it is not just the model that is doing something wrong, but rather YOU that is being bad? Maybe instead of coming to the forum to whine like a little bitch every time you have a problem, you try to work it out with the model and if all else fails just learn to grow a pair and get over it just like all of the other non-crazy members of MFC? You don't know me, I don't know you, so why the fuck do you care about what I have to say anyway?

And for those that are clueless:

I was worried I had cervical cancer yesterday, because I have a lesion on my cervix that a doctor told me I should have checked every 6 months. I started experiencing excruciating pain for the last week and some abnormal bleeding that was cause for concern. Shaun decided on the night before my doctor appointment to send me this very lovely message, which kept me up til 2 am, when I was set to get up at 8 am. Thanks, asshole.

 

[skiphop90]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

I messaged Shaun when I had heard what he had said...

So Starz tells the room that she's going to the doctor tomorrow with fears of a serious health problem and you decide it's the perfect time to drop what you did on her? And right before she goes to bed too? Sorry, but I have to say something. That's possibly the most douche-worthy thing I've ever heard of. You must know how upset it makes her to hear these things from the people she considers regulars and even friends. And to suggest that it's her fault is just fucking ridiculous. It's your fault you can't fit into the room. Yours an no one elses. The inside joke thing falls on its arse because it happens in every single room. Whenever you have a group of people regularly talking to each other, it's human nature for them to reference things which happened in the past. If you were around more often and participated more, you'd be involved in them too. And then there's the suggestion that she wouldn't do things for you. Are you really blaming her because she wouldn't change? Why the fuck should she change who she is or do something she doesn't want to just to please the few? She never asks of anything from anyone and she sure as fuck owes nothing to anyone. What you did was incredibly ill-timed, rude, and just downright wrong, and I just wanted you to know that.

Steve.

And yet again, he says it's his fault yet goes on to blame Starz and the room.

It is my fault I do not fit in not the rooms. I do not blame her or the others. But as I tried to talk to her last night half of the things I typed went unacknowledged and I was was just sitting there feeling lonely. If she will not talk to me and does not want to do anything with me am I just supposed to sit quietly in her room every night feeling bad for myself? If I was an ass I would have tried to force her to do things but instead I always took no for an answer. I need to find a room I belong in so I am leaving to look for that place. But also think about this she still did not talk to me she went to you instead.

 

[hackneyedfey]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

If I was an ass I would have tried to force her to do things but instead I always took no for an answer.

Wow, I had not seen that statement before. You ALWAYS tried to force her to dance, CONSTANTLY. I've watched you make that same request time after time. You kept offering tokens and tru privates and requesting videos, trying to convince her to do it. You don't think you were pressuring her? Wow. You apparently don't know what "no" is when you hear it. By your own words, you were an ass. You never took no for an answer.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Wow. Good riddance.

 

[CommonAnomaly]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Initially I was going to throw out some sagelike advice and even came up with a silly quote to be supportive and make you feel better about this situation you got yourself into.

Now that I've seen both sides of this interaction I'm trying to find a way to pity you more than humanly possible, Shaun.

The simple answer here is that, yes, you are bad with women, and no, the women and men here can't help you with that.

 

[Rose]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Hmm, I've got a member who behaves similar to this. Except he thinks it's ok to never tip me and always try to initiate cyber sex through pm. He's a regular of another girl and I see him tip her large amounts at least once a week. I've yet to tell him to fuck off and wish I knew how to tell him the way Starz told you. My point is, behavior like this is extremely rude and it's an excellent way to alienate other members and gets on models' bad sides. You might want to rethink doing things like this in the future.

 

[AlexLady]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

We're not your girlfriend dude... we're here for both of our entertainment and fun, not to keep you from feeling "lonely." Models tend to avoid guys who make us feel like they want to use us emotionally.



Also, grats on having fans who'll stand up for you publicly, Ohmystarz.

 

[BullFrogBlues]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Appears to me that with two (at least) models you wanted them to do something they didn't want to do and you would not take no for an answer. You need to learn no means no. Having tokens does not make a model your exclusive toy.

 

[Jessi J]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

We're not your girlfriend dude... we're here for both of our entertainment and fun, not to keep you from feeling "lonely." Models tend to avoid guys who make us feel like they want to use us emotionally.



Also, grats on having fans who'll stand up for you publicly, Ohmystarz.

I have some of the best friends on MFC that I could ever ask for!

 

[Jupiter551]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Bringing it up just put the model on the spot and tried to make your presence in the room to be more than it is.

Or a cry for attention to the model who (he thinks) never paid him enough. People don't just do things at random, he had to have a reason to email her and lay it all out like that - only he can tell us why.

Also, after reading Starz response it strikes me that Shaun_ should concentrate on finding a model who fits the criteria of what he wants (dances, does pvts etc) instead of picking a model and then trying to "mould" her into what he wants.

Also lighten up dude. As the wonderful Alex said, these chicks aren't our girlfriends - just have some fun.

 

[Highroller720]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Sorry little late to the party.

Dude, Is it her fault that you have a different sense of humor than the rest of the room. All the room jokes happened after you went to bed early. Everyone tried explaing them to you, most of them are just one of those moments you had to be present for, to get the joke. And to top it all off the worst timing ever. Are you the type of guy thats gonna dump your girlfriend at a funeral. WTF dude, really.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

This type of behavior from a man worries me.

 

[skiphop90]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Safe to say this thread hasn't panned out as he had hoped...

 

[Jessi J]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

One last thing in reference to private shows, at one point Shaun told me that he was feeling frisky when I wasn't on and was going to message me to get on so he could take me private. I am not a pretty little play thing that jumps at the sound of the dang. I mean really, what do you think I am? Your play thing that you can bend and move around as you so choose?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

One last thing in reference to private shows, at one point Shaun told me that he was feeling frisky when I wasn't on and was going to message me to get on so he could take me private. I am not a pretty little play thing that jumps at the sound of the dang. I mean really, what do you think I am? Your play thing that you can bend and move around as you so choose?

That reminded me of the Stepford Wives movie. Every mans dream.

 

[sweetiebatman]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Shaun,

I'm going to try to be as understanding as possible to your, quite frankly strange situation that you seem to have engineered in your own mind.

You clearly have some kind of MFC attachment issues as this is the second time you have posted what I consider to be an over the top reaction to 2 different models. Reading both threads initial posts can only be described as uncomfortable

I find it rather strange that you even considered emailing a model to tell her you didn't fit in, Dont get me wrong I have felt that way myself whist in rooms, and i'm sure most of us members and even models with prem accounts have but surely thats what the next model button is for?

I honestly think you need a little time away from MFC and to get your priorities straight mate!

 

[CommonAnomaly]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

That reminded me of the Stepford Wives movie. Every mans dream.

I resent any insinuation that any of my dreams involve Nicole Kidman. That's just mean, Megan. I will now proceed to start a new thread about how I feel sleighted by you about this.

 

[sxycherrypie]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

Reading both sides of the story and shaun you are awful with women very,very awful if I had this kind of behavior from anyone I would most certainly ban them. You need to learn how to lay off. If you do not get along with the model or fit in just simply move on and stop posting call out threads such as this. We have a pm option you know....oh wait a second...she won't answer because she obviously has explained to you several times that she will not do certain things yet you still ask. Is that why your all butt hurt?

Just move on and find someone that you click with on a healthy level if you have one.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

I'm not going to lie. I feel SLIGHTLY bad that everyone is ganging up on him. But he did write the thread to begin with.... :/

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me h

I appear to have fucked up and need a woman to tell me how.

Shaun, you fucked up by not taking "no" for an answer.

That is the only thing I can safely say, from what I have seen. I do not know why you have said things that cannot be responded to, maybe you simply do not have the social experience to know what to say. Which is okay- I had the same problem until... um... well, I still have it occasionally x.x It's just been getting steadily better (meaning I don't do it as often) as time goes on.

It goes like this:

If a girl tells you she will not do something, never mention it again. If she changes her mind, it is now her responsibility to tell you.

If you see her do it, the *only* thing you are allowed to do is ask something along the lines of "did you have fun" or "how did you like it?". If you get an evasive or less-than-enthusiastic answer, it means she didn't like it, whatever the actual words of the answer are. If you get no answer, change the subject.

So here you go:

-I enjoy dancing, though I think I look ridiculous when I do it
-I would love to go private
-I'm even willing to do true-private
-What I will and will not do is listed quite clearly on my profile
-Having been socially awkward in the past, I won't hold socially-awkward things against people

I invite you to check me out. I actually have a schedule posted on my profile for once, with any luck at all I'll actually stick to it this time

But a warning- if I have to tell you "no" to something too often, I will ban you. If you make me uncomfortable, and won't STOP making me uncomfortable after I've told you it has done so, I will ban you.