Husband freaked when I brought up being a Camgirl.

[DaiseeDream]

I'm not a Camgirl but I want to give it a shot. I've given in to the fact that I have no big issues showing myself in all my glory on a webcam. I've been reading as much as possible on these forums (thanks) so I'm not going in blind. I'm in my early 30's & my husband and I got hit pretty hard by the economy. We both work full-time jobs but we're still playing catch up. When I found out about camming, I got a excited. Logically, I feel it is our best chance at lifting ourselves out of debt but hubby kinda freaked when I suggested it. He said he wouldn't want guys seeing my girly parts & watching me get myself off. I feel like, if he doesn't mind watching girls on the Internet himself then he shouldn't say it's not right for me. Don't get me wrong, I get his issue but at least he could hear me out. He has no better ideas himself. I just want to know if any of you have had the same issue with your so. How did you handle it? Sorry so long & I did search but couldn't find a subject similar.

 

[SatanJonez]

I actually had the same issue with my husband and went about it probably the worst way possible with the best possible outcome. I waited til he went to work, logged on cam & made quite a bit. He came home, I told him & told him how much I made & how much I had enjoyed myself. It was a non-issue after that.

 

[DaiseeDream]

Haha! I actually thought about that. He sometimes comes home from work in the middle of the day. Couldn't really imagine how I could explain what I was doing when he walked in on me...lol.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I kinda feel for your husband. Knowing anybody in the world with a pc and some loot could see my girls butthole would be pretty odd at first, but it's not like you're selling your body like a porn person/prostitute and you're in the safety of your own home, so I don't see what the big deal is. He might even start to think it's cool that dudes are paying to see what he gets to fuck for free.

also, the link that whore melissadaisy99 posted looks super safe and totally not shady at all

 

[Zoomer]

The most obvious question is whether the current financial situation the motivator for it.

Saying that he may watch girls/porn so he should be cool is being short sighted. Just because I've seen a porn film doesn't mean that if my girlfriend turned around and said she wanted to do porn for money reasons (unless she could be a millionaire) that I should be instantly supportive and understand. Unlikely.

So honestly, with that approach, I'd be quite upset. Here is why...

I'd feel I were failing if it meant she needed to do it for money, and I'd try every solution to prevent it. Unless she told me she wanted to do it, or we were in such financial dire straights we'd lose everything so it was the "only hope", I'd bust my nut to change things.

But if she wants to do it, that's different (camgirl - yes, porn? No ). That I could be supportive of Honestly, I think the worst approach is "money" unless you're fucking broke. Also, other considerations - like just how much do you think you're going to make?

It'd be good for a poll I think - an anon voting poll. Girls with model status only allowed to vote. How much do you make from cams per week? No-one knows who votes, just the results... get a flavour of what the distribution is

 

[Rose]

i started because it was my birthday and we couldn't afford to do anything. we didn't have milk or bread and barely had heat and it was the worst winter TN has had in forever....my "partner" was footing pretty much all the bills and was mildly upset we couldn't afford to even eat on my birthday (note the bitterness) so he suggested i start camming since i was making less than $300 a month at my fast food job. i started that night. he actually finds my camming really sexy and oftentimes will get a huge boner if he's around during one of my shows. sometimes it's really nice and othertimes it's stressful and we have to reevaluate whether or not i need/want to keep doing it. if you or he has qualms about you masturbating online you could model yourself around what ambercutie, tatgoddess or kristylive does. i've never seen any of them do any kind of public show and tatgoddess and kristylive don't even get naked in public chat (last time i checked, someone correct me if i'm wrong here). good luck with your decision

 

[lordmagellan]

He might even start to think it's cool that dudes are paying to see what he gets to fuck for free.

It's never free.



By the by, I've never understood the mentality of "I don't want someone else seeing my girl." My friend and I have debated this for the longest time. He says, "It's mine and for my eyes only." I just don't get it. For me it's more of a "Look at my girl! I'm gonna go home and have her make me a sammich! Nekked. Then I'm put that sammich to the side, tap that ass, and eat the sammich to replenish my strength."

She usually tells me to shut up and that I'm not getting any at this point. But still, the point is made that it could happen.

So yea, I don't understand why someone wouldn't be on board for this.

 

[lordmagellan]

i've never seen any of them do any kind of public show and tatgoddess and kristylive don't even get naked in public chat (last time i checked, someone correct me if i'm wrong here). good luck with your decision

Kristy does get topless quite a bit. But not full monty from my observations.

 

[Rose]

i've never seen any of them do any kind of public show and tatgoddess and kristylive don't even get naked in public chat (last time i checked, someone correct me if i'm wrong here). good luck with your decision

Kristy does get topless quite a bit. But not full monty from my observations.

that's what i've observed. just wasn't sure about fully naked or playing in privates or groups.

 

[ElaySmith]

From what I have seen Kristy is doing more groups/privates now than she was a year ago but I believe a majority of her $$$ is made in public chat. She is very very entertaining when she wants to be, there is just something about her....she should totally be a game show host.

 

[DaiseeDream]

I wanted to thank everyone for giving your opinions.

The most obvious question is whether the current financial situation the motivator for it.

Yes, money was the motivator to research my options but I would never consider camming if I didn't want to do it.

I'd feel I were failing if it meant she needed to do it for money, and I'd try every solution to prevent it. Unless she told me she wanted to do it, or we were in such financial dire straights we'd lose everything so it was the "only hope", I'd bust my nut to change

Zoomer, I think what you wrote is pretty close to how he's thinking because he just mentioned asking for a raise. I just didn't see that side. I still want to at least try and see if it's something I would even want to continue after I gave it a try. I know it's hard work and I'm not a stranger to working hard. I think this is a logical choice because I have a kid and I want to be available to her and I can't be if I'm working a second job out of the home.

I dont think I have unrealistic goals financially. I'm hoping to make around $500 a week for 30 hours of work. If I can make this I'll be a happy camper but if not then it's not really worth it for me.

 

[JoleneBrody]

This is definitely not the life style for everyone, but can be so great for the right person.
If your husband is that uncomfortable with it (and he has a right to feel that way) it may be a bad idea.
Nothing is worst than being broke AND having marriage issues.
Another thing to consider is the affect on your life. I have lost almost all of my friends due to being a cam girl. Friends that I never would have thought would care completely abandoned me. They were no longer comfortable around me.
I don't regret a second of it though! Being a camgirl is the best thing I've ever done and I've never been happier in my work. I love what I do and make pretty decent money at it. I don't ever dred waking up and going to "work." It is hard and more physically draining, but feels so good!
Maybe try watching cams with your husband on MFC as research and not as foreplay. Treat it like a learning project. It may help him see it in a different light. If he's still adamant and not even curious, don't push him too hard.
Good luck sweety.

 

[EllaXoXo]

It'd be good for a poll I think - an anon voting poll. Girls with model status only allowed to vote. How much do you make from cams per week? No-one knows who votes, just the results... get a flavour of what the distribution is

Make one! I'd be curious what the number range is.

 

[Cassidy Nicole]

This is definitely not the life style for everyone, but can be so great for the right person.
If your husband is that uncomfortable with it (and he has a right to feel that way) it may be a bad idea.
Nothing is worst than being broke AND having marriage issues.
Another thing to consider is the affect on your life. I have lost almost all of my friends due to being a cam girl. Friends that I never would have thought would care completely abandoned me. They were no longer comfortable around me.
I don't regret a second of it though! Being a camgirl is the best thing I've ever done and I've never been happier in my work. I love what I do and make pretty decent money at it. I don't ever dred waking up and going to "work." It is hard and more physically draining, but feels so good!
Maybe try watching cams with your husband on MFC as research and not as foreplay. Treat it like a learning project. It may help him see it in a different light. If he's still adamant and not even curious, don't push him too hard.
Good luck sweety.

This completely.

This is not just "another job". It def is something to think about. I have too lost a bunch of friends, including my best friend, people think I am the biggest slut in the world, a huge porn star, people are constantly sending videos around facebook of me that they found online and talking behind my back...It is not a choice to take lightly at all. I absolutely love my job and wouldnt change it for the world, but there is another side..

Good luck!

 

[JoleneBrody]

This is definitely not the life style for everyone, but can be so great for the right person.
If your husband is that uncomfortable with it (and he has a right to feel that way) it may be a bad idea.
Nothing is worst than being broke AND having marriage issues.
Another thing to consider is the affect on your life. I have lost almost all of my friends due to being a cam girl. Friends that I never would have thought would care completely abandoned me. They were no longer comfortable around me.
I don't regret a second of it though! Being a camgirl is the best thing I've ever done and I've never been happier in my work. I love what I do and make pretty decent money at it. I don't ever dred waking up and going to "work." It is hard and more physically draining, but feels so good!
Maybe try watching cams with your husband on MFC as research and not as foreplay. Treat it like a learning project. It may help him see it in a different light. If he's still adamant and not even curious, don't push him too hard.
Good luck sweety.

This completely.

This is not just "another job". It def is something to think about. I have too lost a bunch of friends, including my best friend, people think I am the biggest slut in the world, a huge porn star, people are constantly sending videos around facebook of me that they found online and talking behind my back...It is not a choice to take lightly at all. I absolutely love my job and wouldnt change it for the world, but there is another side..

Good luck!

Wow Cass! I'm so sorry! Thank god none of mine have been that mean! That is pretty fucking low of them and a little creepy to boot.
I've learned to just keep my mouth shut. I want to share my happiness and funny things from my work with friends but have accepted the fact that I just can't. They won't get it anyway so it's not worth it.
Everyone now thinks I am an editor for an online adult fetish magazine.
It explains the working from home and why I don't talk much about it.

 

[Cassidy Nicole]

Ehhh shit happens! They are all jealous bitches (in my mind). No one asks me what I do, yet everyone runs their mouth to everyone else about what I do. :lol:

 

[AngelAndrea]

I wanted to thank everyone for giving your opinions.

The most obvious question is whether the current financial situation the motivator for it.

Yes, money was the motivator to research my options but I would never consider camming if I didn't want to do it.

I'd feel I were failing if it meant she needed to do it for money, and I'd try every solution to prevent it. Unless she told me she wanted to do it, or we were in such financial dire straights we'd lose everything so it was the "only hope", I'd bust my nut to change

Zoomer, I think what you wrote is pretty close to how he's thinking because he just mentioned asking for a raise. I just didn't see that side. I still want to at least try and see if it's something I would even want to continue after I gave it a try. I know it's hard work and I'm not a stranger to working hard. I think this is a logical choice because I have a kid and I want to be available to her and I can't be if I'm working a second job out of the home.

I dont think I have unrealistic goals financially. I'm hoping to make around $500 a week for 30 hours of work. If I can make this I'll be a happy camper but if not then it's not really worth it for me.

Note: My first TWO weeks I made $600, next two weeks, $600, and I'm willing to bet my next two weeks I'll have another $600. I can only pull so much from MFC being a new model. I suggest being on two sites if you want to make twice as much that. The traffic just isn't there for new models, MFC is about making friends and doing shows, Streammate is about doing shows. I could log into Streammate and at least know I'm getting a show within an hour, but MFC I honestly can sit online and not get a token for three hours (which is MY fault for not logging off to try again later). Once we get a "fanbase" we can expect better traffic and higher income, but I'm trying to get on Streammate again because I would really like to maximize my earning abilities.

 

[Tesla]

What JJ and Cassidy have said is spot on. Being a camgirl isn't like a regular job, and naturally he has reservations. Some guys want to date a stripper/model/actress type and some guys decidedly don't. There is a huge stigma attached to adult entertainment and he will be sullied by proxy. Don't forget your job description revolves around flirting, seduction, fantasy, fetishes, plus out-and-out screaming orgasms (mmmm, orgasms). That's enough to push most guys' jealousy, insecurity, and possessiveness buttons. It's NOT for the faint of heart, and it's not his fault if it makes him jealous. I think it's totally normal that he's hesitant.

Browse around MFC with him and show him the wide variety of shows going on. Assure him that the model controls her room, and you don't have to go beyond anything you're uncomfortable with. I don't get naked in public, just occasional peeks at my perkies, and save all the naughty fun for private, because that's what I am most comfortable doing. He might not even know that's a possibility from browsing random rooms on MFC, lol.

Talk it over with him and just stay in research mode until you are sure he's comfortable with it. An unsupportive, jealous boyfriend can make your job a living hell and if you do decide to cam, you'll need all the support you can get. But I am SO glad I decided to take a risk and try it. Camming is the best thing that ever happened to me. I cannot wait to log on, my shifts fly by, and I have a hard time tearing myself away at the end of the night. Good luck!

 

[Jupiter551]

Reading this thread I started asking myself how I would feel in this situation (and I've asked myself here and there before).

Before watching cams if any girlfriend I'd had asked me if I would mind her masturbating on webcam on the internet my answer would have been an emphatic YES, I would mind.

Now, after watching cams for about a year I don't think I'd mind so much depending on her motivation etc - I don't know if that's because I understand more how webcam models work, the fact it's harmless etc.

I think people outside of the 'webcam world' might not understand that it isn't in fact virtual cheating, or virtual prostitution.

 

[AshleyMarks]

Reading this thread I started asking myself how I would feel in this situation (and I've asked myself here and there before).

Before watching cams if any girlfriend I'd had asked me if I would mind her masturbating on webcam on the internet my answer would have been an emphatic YES, I would mind.

Now, after watching cams for about a year I don't think I'd mind so much depending on her motivation etc - I don't know if that's because I understand more how webcam models work, the fact it's harmless etc.

I think people outside of the 'webcam world' might not understand that it isn't in fact virtual cheating, or virtual prostitution.

I believe it can be considered virtual cheating if the man does not tell his wife that he goes to watch porn, and not just any porn, live porn. Some members become emotionally/physically attached to models. But lying to your wife/sig/o. about where all the credit card charges are coming from, indeed could/would be considered cheating in my book. My boyfriend is a premium, as so am I. When he buys tokens, I know about it. I am usually sitting right there as he does it. He does know of my cam modeling, because that is how I met him. He does not care where I get my appetite from, as long as I eat at home. So certain situations can be considered cheating. But everyone is different.

 

[DivSavel]

Personally, I started because him and I need money, and me getting a regular job isn't very realistic what with school, theater, and attempts to keep up with my friends and family. So, when I started up, I talked with my man about the benefits and risks. He basically told me "If you're comfortable with it, it's your body, and I support you." Not long later, we were both very thankful for it. Camming is fun, and we finally could pay rent and stop worrying about being out on the street.

My thoughts? There's nothing wrong with a naked body. For the most part, we are all intelligent animals who cover ourselves up for protection, and then became so used to it that anyone NOT wearing clothing is an obscenity that should be kept in private. I don't understand the problem. Granted, seeing my grandmother naked isn't appealing, (given that 80 year olds aren't much eyecandy for m) but that would just teach me REALLY fucking quickly to look straight into her eyes each time we talked. But that's just because my brain has been programmed to think of old people with eternal bathing suits. And playing with yourself? Who doesn't do that most days just for fun? Everyone likes masturbating. Except the pope.

If you're completely comfortable being in front of others, and camming could possibly make your life easier, I don't see any reason not to do it. Yes, someone might find you, but you're an adult, and (most likely) they are too. If they're uncomfortable, they should just recognize that it's not something for them. Different strokes, different folks, all that stufff.

Ultimately, I wouldn't cam without my man's permission, because I think he has 100% full right to object to things involving my naughtiness and others. But he was alright with it, and he still smiles and says "Congrats baby!" every day I tell him I made my goal for the day. It means I had a great day, and we're one step closer to an apartment. At the end of the day, I go to bed with him, and he's the only man I lay my hands on. Ever. My man and I have a life together, and camming doesn't change anything about that. It just gives me a pretty damn entertaining way to afford life. Maybe your husband just needs to be reminded that you're his, and nothing can alter that.

Btw, forgive the long post.

 

[Traditio]

I believe it can be considered virtual cheating if the man does not tell his wife that he goes to watch porn, and not just any porn, live porn. Some members become emotionally/physically attached to models. But lying to your wife/sig/o. about where all the credit card charges are coming from, indeed could/would be considered cheating in my book. My boyfriend is a premium, as so am I. When he buys tokens, I know about it. I am usually sitting right there as he does it. He does know of my cam modeling, because that is how I met him. He does not care where I get my appetite from, as long as I eat at home. So certain situations can be considered cheating. But everyone is different.

From your definition i am cheating. I don't lie to her about any credit card charges because we both take our part of our money to spend it - i don't ask her about the money she spend on flea market, fashion etc. - she doesn't ask about my money spend to the internet.
I don't see it as cheating but more as "get my appetite". most maried ppl still masturbate and if you use imagination or porn makes no difference to me. Most "live porn" you see on mfc is very tame anyway.
Indeed I am very reluctant to privates - i draw my personal line there.

Most time on mfc is chatting anyway - that is nearly the same as if i was in irc-rooms the whole night - only the pictures are nicer.

 

[Eva_ChangeN]

My hubby caught me watching MFC and was like "some of those chicks are skinny and faking it, you should show em whats up!" LOL He was telling me today to get my ass on cam and make some $ LOL!! He was a little skeptical, but being up front about it is better than "guess what I did" Then taking the burn on the back end of it. If he is uncomfortable, try just making videos of you both FOR you both to start. Then talk about the pros and cons, let him read some of the info here, and work WITH him to set rules in your room that he is ok on (obviously there will be slight bending of said rules from time to time) and after a period of time, see if he STILL wants you to quit or if he is OK with it, maybe adjust your rules a bit. BTW we all don't make bank every pay day and some of use spend QUITE a long time working offline and on cam to just make $5.00.....just some extra info

 

[Sweetsam]

That's really crappy. All of my friends have been supportive of what I do, and have even said they would possibly do it if they were single. No one made me feel like that at all. However there is one person who doesn't agree with camming, and that is my boyfriend. I haven't been on in months because of him, but financially it's looking like I need to do it again which is a bummer. I did try to look into phone sex, and I could have done it, I was hired I just needed to return my paperwork, I decided however not to do it, because you have to have at least 30-35 hours a week to devote to it, and I don't want to make that commitment unless I am sure I can do it. I am working a regular part time job right now, and going to school 3 nights a week, but I could use an extra few hundred dollars right now, so things wont be as tight. People who can't accept you for who you are, are not your friends. I think most of the girls on the cam sites are extremely nice and intelligent, and people should not be so judgmental. It's one thing to be a prostitute or an escort, two things I would NEVER do. (No offense to those who have) It's quite another to just get off on cam in the privacy of wherever it is you are. Kwim?

This is definitely not the life style for everyone, but can be so great for the right person.
If your husband is that uncomfortable with it (and he has a right to feel that way) it may be a bad idea.
Nothing is worst than being broke AND having marriage issues.
Another thing to consider is the affect on your life. I have lost almost all of my friends due to being a cam girl. Friends that I never would have thought would care completely abandoned me. They were no longer comfortable around me.
I don't regret a second of it though! Being a camgirl is the best thing I've ever done and I've never been happier in my work. I love what I do and make pretty decent money at it. I don't ever dred waking up and going to "work." It is hard and more physically draining, but feels so good!
Maybe try watching cams with your husband on MFC as research and not as foreplay. Treat it like a learning project. It may help him see it in a different light. If he's still adamant and not even curious, don't push him too hard.
Good luck sweety.

This completely.

This is not just "another job". It def is something to think about. I have too lost a bunch of friends, including my best friend, people think I am the biggest slut in the world, a huge porn star, people are constantly sending videos around facebook of me that they found online and talking behind my back...It is not a choice to take lightly at all. I absolutely love my job and wouldnt change it for the world, but there is another side..

Good luck!

 

[Cassidy Nicole]

I totally agree with you that these people are not "friends" but my "BEST" friend, who when I told her said she would never judge me, totally does. She recently told me that I "need to stop living my life on the internet", that I dont need to work as much because I already have money, asked when am I going to stop and said how "annoying" it was when people were asking what I did. Ummm... Sorry I dont live with mommy and daddy and have them pay for everything and have no responsibility.. :icon-rolleyes:

 

[ComicOzzie]

I gotta believe that MFC and other sites mark the end of phone sex. :twocents-02cents:

 

[LadyLuna]

I gotta believe that MFC and other sites mark the end of phone sex. :twocents-02cents:

You would be surprised how many guys were willing to tip for me to go off camera and call them. They didn't want to see what I was doing. They wanted to hear my voice and imagine I was right there next to them. For them, it's easier to do that without the visual of me playing with my pussy. Which I can't blame- easier for me to imagine it when it's just a voice or text as well.

 

[Sweetsam]

Believe it or not, phone sex companies still exist. I talk to one girl on another site, and she said right now it's slow for summer months, but when it's not slow, she makes about $500 a week. Right now she is only making $300 a week, and actually today I went on MFC for a very short time, I also had a guy ask me if we could have phone sex. Whatever tickles a guys pickle! lol

I would think phone sex is a hell of a lot easier. When I have more time to devote to phone sex, I will definitely look into again.

I gotta believe that MFC and other sites mark the end of phone sex. :twocents-02cents:

 

[Raven69Skye]

lol wow Frankie you have some balls. Good for you, though. Imagine if you had never taken the plunge.. We would be missing out on the Frankie awesomeness. What do you think you would be doing instead of this? Ooh I should make a poll...sorry I'm on 0 hours of sleep right now. lol.

I actually had the same issue with my husband and went about it probably the worst way possible with the best possible outcome. I waited til he went to work, logged on cam & made quite a bit. He came home, I told him & told him how much I made & how much I had enjoyed myself. It was a non-issue after that.