how to deal with a nice member with major psychological problems ( I think )

[EllaM]

hello everyone, I would really need your advice in this weird situation. So I have this member who started to visit my room like 1 year ago, and in our first discution he asked me why I dont replay him ( somewhere, I dont know where ) , being mad for me not reconize him.. then he told me he was talked with me FOR 2 YEARS! he told me I sent him videos and pics with me, evenuatlly I asumed someone catfish him using my OF content but after a while he told me about a video I sent to him with me riding a bike ( I never ever had a bike ).. I explained to him it was not me, he seems to understood and leave. He come back after few days saying again same things, beg me to not lie that I dont know him, he seems to be very hurt when I say I dont know him and leave my room. Another day he come and told me why I didnt replay him in weekend because he was in my city LosAngeles... ( I m living in Europe ). I was even thinking he's making fun of me and all its a joke but he seems really genuine, sad when I told him I don't know him and also tipping pretty good every single time when he visit my room. What do you think about this situation,? I really feel bad for him and somehow guilty with no reason.. Few screenshots are conversations in diferent days all.

P.S. : the name that he used to talk with is "Ella Mayer" so only 4 leters at final diferent by my name on site, that make me be even more suspicious.

 

[Vixxen81]

Block him.

 

[EllaM]

Block him.

why?

 

[Vixxen81]

why?

If all of that was in public chat, he's probably driving away potential tippers. From a viewer standpoint, he's calling you a liar. That's my first thought anyway. I know the end game is "tokens, tokens, tokens!" but it's completely okay to ban a member for any reason whatsoever. You shouldn't feel any guilt about banning him if he comes back and continues the same line of conversation the next time.

 

[Marceline]

Just my personal opinion, it seems like he’s trying to fish out personal information from you. It seems highly unlikely that there’d be a catfish or someone with a similar name that looks like you who’d have videos like that. And unless you’ve actually seen the personal videos he supposedly has, I wouldn’t trust that they even exist.

It’s up to you what you want to do about it, but I’d say to at least keep your guard up and not let any personal information slip.

 

[yummybrownfox]

This is so disturbing. If you end up not blocking him, please be very careful because this guy could be trying to trick you into accidentally blurting out your real name and other personal info. Like those guys who will enter public chat, and type something like this…

Guy: “You’re so beautiful, Sarah.”

They know damn well that your name probably isn’t Sarah. They’re trying to trick you into saying “Huh? My name isn’t Sarah. It’s ___.” Beware of creeps like that, because imo they deserve to be permanently banned.

 

[NotYou]

If all of that was in public chat, he's probably driving away potential tippers. From a viewer standpoint, he's calling you a liar. That's my first thought anyway. I know the end game is "tokens, tokens, tokens!" but it's completely okay to ban a member for any reason whatsoever. You shouldn't feel any guilt about banning him if he comes back and continues the same line of conversation the next time.

It was PM. You can see bottom right on some of the screenshots the option to share a photo, and this is only possible/visible in PM

 

[Vixxen81]

It was PM. You can see bottom right on some of the screenshots the option to share a photo, and this is only possible/visible in PM

Didn't look at the bottom, just read the text.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I think he was catfished and the catfish sent some pics of someone else as well that maybe looks like you OR similar.

 

[Highlander884]

Look if you don't block him then tell him he must have been catfished if he doesn't drop it then you really must block him as he'll just continue until you do or try to get you to contact him outside of webcaming.

There's also the possibility that the guy might be mentally unfit and it's all in his head.

Seriously just don't keep chatting to him about this. Block, or tell him to drop it or you block him. I really can't see any other option thats best for u!

 

[rockin_rod]

Plenty of good advice above.
Sounds like maybe he's having difficulty separating his fantasies from reality.
But if you don't block him, having any further pm dialog that refers to meeting on Tinder, catching up in Hawaii, etc (even with you reminding him it never happened) could draw you into question over TOS.

 

[EllaM]

Look if you don't block him then tell him he must have been catfished if he doesn't drop it then you really must block him as he'll just continue until you do or try to get you to contact him outside of webcaming.

There's also the possibility that the guy might be mentally unfit and it's all in his head.

Seriously just don't keep chatting to him about this. Block, or tell him to drop it or you block him. I really can't see any other option thats best for u!

I already do that, he seems to understand, wven thank me for clarify situation and apoligize just to come back few days later like we never talked about before.

 

[EllaM]

I think he was catfished and the catfish sent some pics of someone else as well that maybe looks like you OR similar.

I was honest thinking about same thing, he described many things that can't be me, like a bike or a dog that I never had but this doens't explain how he "find" me on the site now

 

[EllaM]

Just my personal opinion, it seems like he’s trying to fish out personal information from you. It seems highly unlikely that there’d be a catfish or someone with a similar name that looks like you who’d have videos like that. And unless you’ve actually seen the personal videos he supposedly has, I wouldn’t trust that they even exist.

It’s up to you what you want to do about it, but I’d say to at least keep your guard up and not let any personal information slip.

I m very between feeling really bad for him and feeling that he s lying to me, but all conversation we had made me feel like he has some mental problems and eventually created an imaginary relationship with me in his head

 

[EllaM]

Plenty of good advice above.
Sounds like maybe he's having difficulty separating his fantasies from reality.
But if you don't block him, having any further pm dialog that refers to meeting on Tinder, catching up in Hawaii, etc (even with you reminding him it never happened) could draw you into question over TOS.

That's what I think too, he s not agresive or something, something when he ask me to "replay him" or "text him later" I only respond with an emoji and he s happy like almost forget what he wanted me to do.

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

hello everyone, I would really need your advice in this weird situation. So I have this member who started to visit my room like 1 year ago, and in our first discution he asked me why I dont replay him ( somewhere, I dont know where ) , being mad for me not reconize him.. then he told me he was talked with me FOR 2 YEARS! he told me I sent him videos and pics with me, evenuatlly I asumed someone catfish him using my OF content but after a while he told me about a video I sent to him with me riding a bike ( I never ever had a bike ).. I explained to him it was not me, he seems to understood and leave. He come back after few days saying again same things, beg me to not lie that I dont know him, he seems to be very hurt when I say I dont know him and leave my room. Another day he come and told me why I didnt replay him in weekend because he was in my city LosAngeles... ( I m living in Europe ). I was even thinking he's making fun of me and all its a joke but he seems really genuine, sad when I told him I don't know him and also tipping pretty good every single time when he visit my room. What do you think about this situation,? I really feel bad for him and somehow guilty with no reason.. Few screenshots are conversations in diferent days all.

P.S. : the name that he used to talk with is "Ella Mayer" so only 4 leters at final diferent by my name on site, that make me be even more suspicious.

This guy just wants to act a fool and drive you crazy. I can guarantee you fell into his twisted trap so he can be amused by your responses. If you don’t block him. Then deal with his bullshit and enjoy his tips. He is winning at the game for sure.

 

[Highlander884]

I already do that, he seems to understand, wven thank me for clarify situation and apoligize just to come back few days later like we never talked about before.

Right I'm sorry but he's nuts. Block him now!
Maybe an idea to report and mention it to the site u r on. Whatever his reason u need to disconnect from him completely. Don't feel guilty.

 

[Marceline]

I m very between feeling really bad for him and feeling that he s lying to me, but all conversation we had made me feel like he has some mental problems and eventually created an imaginary relationship with me in his head

I think he is lying to you to try getting you to slip up. Either that or this is some fetish for him. What makes me think that it probably wasn't a catfish is actually what you said here >>>

this doens't explain how he "find" me on the site now

It just seems incredibly unlikely/basically impossible that someone used your content, as well as someone else's that looked just like you, along with almost your exact cam name to catfish him on Tinder and then having him randomly find you on your camsite (because since it wasn't your exact cam name, I don't think he'd have found your cam room by just googling what is almost your cam name). And let's say by some incredibly random and slim chance that did happen. The fact that he keeps going back to your chat over multiple days insisting that you are basically lying to him, makes it very suspicious and even more unlikely that what he is saying is true. It's also suspicious that he would be tipping you like he has been. It's great that you're at least making money from this, but I don't think most guys who have no experience with camsites and randomly met a girl on Tinder (and then supposedly got ghosted) would somehow find her and then start tipping her big amounts.

Also:

But if you don't block him, having any further pm dialog that refers to meeting on Tinder, catching up in Hawaii, etc (even with you reminding him it never happened) could draw you into question over TOS.

^^This is very good advice. Because @rockin_rod is right. You could very well get into trouble if he keeps talking like that.

 

[MarieElise]

Oh man this one is tough. I thought someone catfished him at first too. But trying to trick op into revealing things, sounds equally possible.

I think it’s concerning either way. Sorry you are experiencing this OP.

I think to just keep repeating “that isnt me you’re talking about” and suggest maybe he got catfished by a con person. Then say that is terrible that they did that, but that since it wasn’t you, you’re not sure what you can do about it either.

Then if he keeps up and keeps up with more personal questions, I’d start to assume he’s actually fishing for info, and is someone unstable and stop responding/ block from there.

I think it’s good that you are keeping the responses brief and to the point. Even if it means repeating the same thing a bunch. If he was catfished it’ll sink it pretty soon or maybe has, and shouldn’t require too much more response. Also if he was at fished he should be at the point now where he’d be letting you know where it started. That way if more guys show up you know what’s going on, and more about where this potential cat fish is. Because once it sinks in I would think his natural response would be to ruin things for the cat fish/ reveal them.

 

[RainForest]

This is so disturbing. If you end up not blocking him, please be very careful because this guy could be trying to trick you into accidentally blurting out your real name and other personal info. Like those guys who will enter public chat, and type something like this…

Guy: “You’re so beautiful, Sarah.”

They know damn well that your name probably isn’t Sarah. They’re trying to trick you into saying “Huh? My name isn’t Sarah. It’s ___.” Beware of creeps like that, because imo they deserve to be permanently banned.

That happened to me just yesterday ! I love reading this forum because you all pass along so many power tips. Thank you.

 

[Slapstick]

Another vote to block him because...

I already do that, he seems to understand, wven thank me for clarify situation and apoligize just to come back few days later like we never talked about before.

This This is not normal. I have no idea if he was catfished or he is catfishing you, but there are just too many red flags; who chats on a dating app for two years without either meeting or moving on? And the fact that he keeps returning and acting as if you've never talked about if before is a huge huge NOPE for me. As BlueEyezIrish said, it is up to you to decide if you want to put up with his bullshit to get tokens, but I don't see this going anywhere healthy.

 

[JesseQuinn69]

I was honest thinking about same thing, he described many things that can't be me, like a bike or a dog that I never had but this doens't explain how he "find" me on the site now

he probably was catfished, that would be my guess at least. as to how he found you, if the catfish theory is true, the person impersonating you could be an affiliate of the cam site you work on and uses stolen OF images, etc to lure guys into signing up

that doesn't explain the whole 'two years' thing though...that's a mighty long end game if a rogue affiliate is behind it. it is possible that he's just completely delusional. or could be both mentally ill and catfished. you'll never really know. weird situation, and sorry you're dealing with it

want to cosign on the important point made above that his unsolicited messages could get you in trouble with the site. for your own protection, if I were you I'd block and report him just on that basis alone. if you get suspended over his PMs, that's lost income while you deal with site support trying to sort things out

I dunno, up to you if his tips are worth the hassle and risk. good luck whatever you end up deciding

 

[NotYou]

Honestly, I'd be wanting proof from him about it, just ask out of curiosity to take some screenshots of the messages sent/received etc and upload them to you on CB in PM. Otherwise, i'd personally assume he is up to something himself and hasn't been catfished.

 

[Maxi]

Honestly, I'd be wanting proof from him about it, just ask out of curiosity to take some screenshots of the messages sent/received etc and upload them to you on CB in PM. Otherwise, i'd personally assume he is up to something himself and hasn't been catfished.

Exactly! He’s probably just making it all up

 

[Vixxen81]

Exactly! He’s probably just making it all up

I'm not sure if posting that would get her and him banned, though. Unverified persons and all that jazz. But I really don't know how that plays because I ban anyone who sends me pictures in PM without me knowing exactly what it is first.

 

[Maxi]

I'm not sure if posting that would get her and him banned, though. Unverified persons and all that jazz. But I really don't know how that plays because I ban anyone who sends me pictures in PM without me knowing exactly what it is first.

I’ve no idea on CB but it wouldn’t get you banned on SC?

If I was the OP and I was worried about Catfishing I’d ask for the Hawaii pics that the OP has never been to, or owns a bicycle. Or just block them.

Anyone can go into any room and say anything while tipping a large amount. Sounds like he’s just making it up to me if the OP has no clue about what he’s saying.

It’s most likely it’s just a random asshole, right?

 

[NotYou]

I'm pretty sure you're allowed to post photos - especially like this (maybe blur out specific things to be safe), are all those GIF photos and animations of people on them verified on CB? I highly doubt it.

 

[Vixxen81]

I’ve no idea on CB but it wouldn’t get you banned on SC?

If I was the OP and I was worried about Catfishing I’d ask for the Hawaii pics that the OP has never been to, or owns a bicycle. Or just block them.

Anyone can go into any room and say anything while tipping a large amount. Sounds like he’s just making it up to me if the OP has no clue about what he’s saying.

It’s most likely it’s just a random asshole, right?

It strikes me as your common garden variety asshole, yes. If he's figured out how to make this work for him, he's not going to stop and probably does it to every room he goes into. I mean he's basically playing around with the idea of her personal security and safety and I think that's really, really fucked up. Any time someone comes into my room and says, "I know you." My first response is "no, you do not" and if they keep pushing it's a ban.

I banned a guy the other night after he tipped me over 500 tokens because he would not shut up about how it should be okay to discuss things from our youth on the site, he even tossed out the "I'm a lawyer," line. Nope. Byyyye.

 

[KingMarti]

he even tossed out the "I'm a lawyer," line.

Everyone whatever profession they feel like at that moment on the internet, trust me I'm a doctor

 

[Vixxen81]

I'm pretty sure you're allowed to post photos - especially like this (maybe blur out specific things to be safe), are all those GIF photos and animations of people on them verified on CB? I highly doubt it.

I remember a long, long time ago they tried to walk back all of those emotes and people kept uploading them anyway. They changed the way users were allowed to submit gifs/emotes to the site, you had to have 1 token. I mean, if it is seriously a case of catfishing it would be worth it to investigate but OP can probably find any bread crumb trails that would lead to a catfishing account without waiting on him to supply images he's never going to actually upload.

Someone on the internet was hell bent on trying to out me as a model to a group of people who couldn't care less about it (which is super funny to me) so they post the gotcha picture and I was completely offended this person thinks I look like the person they posted. So, this could be a case of face blindness on his part. Or dementia. Or drugs. Or drinking. Or trolling. I don't think it's worth any effort at all to deal with it, but that's up to OP to decide.