lovesheidi said:
Indeed.
Over the last several days, I have slowly begun to make my return to reality. I am aghast at how delusional I allowed myself to become. Though I stand by the overall accuracy of what I shared, there are certain details I am becoming quite unsure of; I honestly don't know if they were real or imagined.
I pride myself on relying on logic and reason rather than the whims of emotion. And yet, with little more than an hour or so of video feed and a few lines of text, I was lured into laying aside my principles to go chasing after a mirage. When I see this type of behaviour in others, I am quick to voice my contempt; perhaps considering my own folly will lead me to adopt a more sympathetic tone in the future.
But I did not revisit this sordid episode to post more inane crap; I actually returned in the hopes that I could delete the inane crap I had already posted, for two reasons.
Firstly, my reputation. Powerful men from around the globe come to seek my counsel on a wide variety of matters. The insights I offer quite literally shape world events. If my judgment ever begins to be called into question, I fear what it might mean for civilization.
Secondly, there are a great many people who worship me. I hate to sound conceited, but there is just no other way to put it. If these people were to find out that I am fallible, many would undoubtedly become disillusioned and lose all will to live. The thought that my moment of weakness might lead to a rash of suicides is more than I can bear.
Since deleting isn't possible, I can only hope some good will come of having my tale preserved for posterity. Maybe someday, someone walking a similar path will stumble across it. Maybe this will be a good slap across the face.