First date with a camgirl - Advise?

[Greggory]

Hi everyone,

The short story - Next week I am going on a real first date with a cam girl, we had met a while back and shit just happened so now we are going to try dating. She is travelling to meet me for this date. Do the models here have any advise, or members who have dated a cam girl. It is important for me that she is and feels safe when we meet.

The long story - Bouncing between rooms I found a room I liked. Clicked with the model immediately, had fun and good times. Fast forward a few months and we were what one may call online friends. We spend time with each other online when she is not on site. When she is online I still tip and act as a normal member, but when we interact outside of normal cam site it is just about enjoying each others company. [I am very cognoscente never to ask to chat with her when she would be on the site, since I don't want our whatever it is we are to affect her income].

Fast forward a few more months we learn each others full names (not just first names). I did not ask for it but we had both let down our guard and admittedly overshared. More months pass and she learns the city I live in. When she learns where I live, she has mentions she grew up nearby (few hour drive) and occasional visits my city and jokes about us meeting. At this point, I don't ask where she lives, her privacy is still and always will be a great concern of mine.

A few months more and she is planning a trip to my city. She asks whether I would be okay meeting her in person and I agreed (we both respect each other's privacy). My fear at this point is making sure she feel and is safe on our first meeting. We discuss this issue. Well I try to, she says trusts me enough that she isn't worrying about it. Either way I made sure we meet in a public area where she will have ample opportunities to leave if she wishes. A few weeks pass and I have realized I like her enough I might as well ask her out. She seemed surprised but happy (truthfully we had been flirty for a long time and I am suspecting she only planned the trip in hopes that I may one day ask her out).

Anyways so now a week away, I am seeking advice. Is there any do'es or don'ts when dating a cam girl, especially one where the first time was her online. I want to make sure she knows she is safe and also I don't want to make any mistakes

So a few things to also note:
We have talked about her being a model. I have no issues with it, and generally like the regulars in her room. (A few have feelings for her but again no issues with that; as she makes clear the feelings are reciprocated)

We have talked about privacy concerns (i.e. what we will tell each others families/friends about where we met and her occupation) [I am proud of her being a model, but with the stigma and her future career path I get her need to keep certain things hidden].

Given that we met in her room and became friends there. We know stuff about each other that normally wouldn't come up until later in the relationship (ie nudity, preferences etc)

She says it isn't about money, and I totally believe her (I am not a big tipper or never have been in her room)
She is fully aware of my spending habits

Thanks in advance

 

[OldHippy]

A long time ago I was in a relationship with a woman who worked in the adult industry. My first bit of advice is, she is just a normal girl. Her job is being a cam girl, but I am sure it is not what defines her. So treat her as you would any other woman with respect, caring and understanding. Your relationship is going to have the same issues that any other relationship has.

Now here comes the big part, that is trust and communication. While vital in any relationship, it will be even more so in your relationship...

I was still quite young when I was in my relationship, and I definitely learned a lot about myself, about love and trust. I did have some issues with jealousy and it took a lot of work on my part and even more patience and understanding on her part for me to overcome this. I thought I would be prepared and it would all not be a big deal, I knew what she did for work, but the more I fell in love with her the harder it became. Without a lot of communication and trust it certainly would not have lasted as long as it did and I would have missed out on a wonderful part of my life.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

She's a normal person, who puts her pants on one leg at a time. Treat her like you would a long-time friend where you two decided to try taking it a little further.

The more you overthink it, the more awkward it may be. Just be respectful of her, as you say you already are.

 

[AudriTwo]

You are going on a date with a person. Don't focus on camming. Don't even bring it up. You are experiencing real her, so focus on that.

Be proud she is independent and self-sufficient.

Good luck on your date.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think most of the advice would be about the same for any person you have met after speaking online for a while. Try not to talk about the relationship you are going to have! Just meet up and see how it goes, cut it with the whole talking about what you will tell your family and friends, privacy concerns and all that, you have no idea if you will even have chemistry when you meet. It's really easy to develop a sexual relationship online when both of you are feeling lonely and find a connection, and it may translate into real life, but it also likely won't, and it will almost certainly not be the same as what you had online. Online you only tell each other what you want them to know about you, they don't see you interacting with other people or walking about on a normal day, with a cam girl this is especially true as you see a lot of online persona. Once you meet up, bear in mind that this is the beginning of a whole new relationship with this person. The best advice I could probably give, which will likely not be followed, would be to not make it a "date", but to see it as two friends meeting up after chatting online. Then if chemistry and attraction happens you can see where it goes, but there is no pressure to be romantic, and if no romance happens you can enjoy the time together and remain friends.

As for making her feel safe, public places all the way, read her body language when you meet up, if she's trying to walk or sit at an arms distance from you, then don't move to get closer to her or try to make physical contact. She might instantly fall in love with you and it might be magic, but be prepared that it may not. You may also both want to jump into one another's arms when you meet and then after spending a bit of time together she may start to feel uncomfortable with how close she just got to a total stranger, or not want to maintain that closeness. Make sure that when you leave her to go home that she will know for sure that you cannot follow her or find out where she's going. Accept that after meeting you she might no longer feel comfortable with you around, or she may cool off you completely or not want anything more. If it does go well, accept that it might only last a short period of time and don't try to pressure it further than that.
You should follow the same safety procedures for yourself of course, women can be stalkers too.
Essentially just take it really easy, treat it exactly like a first date/meet up with someone you haven't met before, or haven't seen in years. She is just a normal girl in the outside world, and it will take a while to get to know her properly, but basically the same rules apply to her as any other woman you might meet. There are no "rules" for dating a camgirl that don't apply to any other woman/person.

 

[Greggory]

Thank you everyone, and especially to IsabellaSnow for your detailed and insightful response. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I do intend to treat her as a normal person, just like when we talk on the phone (We never reference work, unless it is just as a general talking about work as work).

I do agree with making sure she knows I can't follow her, but that ship has already sailed unfortunately (she told me where she is staying, I didn't ask but she mentioned it)

A minor note, we had actually talked about what we would tell our friends and family but it was more of a necessity. Without going into too much detail, even as online friends who talk on the phone, we both needed to a story (We both have immediate family that chastise the concept of "strangers" online)

We actually both agreed when I asked her out that if there wasn't chemistry we would both like to remain friends and in the worst case online friends.

Oh well, we will see tomorrow. Thank you again to everyone

 

[CoffeeKnight]

Thank you everyone, and especially to IsabellaSnow for your detailed and insightful response. I guess I will find out tomorrow. I do intend to treat her as a normal person, just like when we talk on the phone (We never reference work, unless it is just as a general talking about work as work).

I do agree with making sure she knows I can't follow her, but that ship has already sailed unfortunately (she told me where she is staying, I didn't ask but she mentioned it)

A minor note, we had actually talked about what we would tell our friends and family but it was more of a necessity. Without going into too much detail, even as online friends who talk on the phone, we both needed to a story (We both have immediate family that chastise the concept of "strangers" online)

We actually both agreed when I asked her out that if there wasn't chemistry we would both like to remain friends and in the worst case online friends.

Oh well, we will see tomorrow. Thank you again to everyone

Good luck, man.

 

[AudriTwo]

A minor note, we had actually talked about what we would tell our friends and family but it was more of a necessity. Without going into too much detail, even as online friends who talk on the phone, we both needed to a story (We both have immediate family that chastise the concept of "strangers" online)

i hate saying this but it's 2017. a third of the country meets their significant other on some form of online dating or internet interaction.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-sty...s-start-online-dating-study-article-1.1362743

your families need to get with the times, because this has been the norm for 10+ years.

but i understand saying OH WE MET ON A PORN SITE SHE WAS WORKING ON wont fly. i'd say you met on a dating site or a social site like reddit or twitter. do you two game at all? a lot of people also meet their significant others from that. that was my husband's and i's cover story because my parents would not be cool with me dating a guy i met on craigslist. we just said we met on WoW.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/se...0/Why-online-love-is-more-likely-to-last.html

 

[SaffronBurke]

do you two game at all? a lot of people also meet their significant others from that

True, my mother in law met her current husband through Eve Online. Others have met on WOW.

 

[CoffeeKnight]

True, my mother in law met her current husband through Eve Online. Others have met on WOW.

A friend of mine met her husband through WoW six years ago now. I agree that meeting people online is such a normal thing in this day and age I doubt much of a story would even be needed.

 

[Emberblaze]

Don't objectify her or treat her like a sex object.

Don't expect her to be super sexy and horny all the time like she may act in her cam room. That's probably an act. Just because she cams doesn't mean she's definitely into jumping into bed with someone on the first date. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. But don't assume she is because of her job.

If it does get sexual don't assume you know what she likes from watching her shows. Separate that person from who she is in real life and take the time to learn and ask questions about what she really enjoys.

 

[BiancaBaker]

I met my husband while online dating just say you were online dating it's really not a big deal. People online date all the time. Treating her like a normal person is key. I seriously have problems making chick friends who are not in this industry. The second I mention I am a sex worker or fetish model I get treated differently. My job does not define me. I make an awesome income that supports my family so I honestly don't see the issue. I wish more people got it but unfortunately they don't.

Good Luck!

 

[MarinaThyme]

I think just about everything I wanted to say here has already been said, except my experience with online dating/relationships...

Just be careful. It's tricky when you go into meeting for the first time with preset expectations. Try your hardest to treat it kind of like a blind date where you're meeting a total stranger, only you kind of are but kinda feel like you already know each other. Don't let yourself get carried away by the moment of awkwardness (that I assure you WILL happen) when you first meet.

I believe it can work. My husband asked me to dinner through Facebook Messenger lol. We fell in crazy, passionate, deep love instantly. It's gross and cheesy to say that but it's actually very true for us. My previous relationships were all from online dating sites (except for 2) and didn't last for unrelated issues.

Give it a chance and if it's just too weird, then it is. Be honest with yourself and her. It's going to be fine, just try not to think about her job. Imho, it's not that big of a deal nowadays anyways.

Good luck
Let us know how it goes!

 

[Gen]

How did it gooooooo?!?

 

[CoffeeKnight]

How did it gooooooo?!?

Why do I have the tell me more tell me more part of Summer Lovin' going through my head right now?

 

[Just_A_Guy]

How did it gooooooo?!?

I have a felling it went well. So let's say they are in private since then and it'd be rude of us to disturb.

 

[Greggory]

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to give an update. Yes the date went well and Just_a_Guy was right it went well. The one day date turned into us deciding to spend the long weekend together. There is definitely chemistry between us, although I want to be clear neither of use are ready for a sexual relationship yet (we are leaving it at cuddles for now)

It was a good thing we talked about a cover story, ended up running into my sister during the date. While I do agree with AudreyTwo (which by the way is an awesome name), what my family believes in and what I want them to believe in are two very different things.

 

[OldHippy]

Glad to hear it went well! You have given hope to hundreds of lonely guys and tattoo artists around the world are now rubbing their hands in glee.

But seriously it's great to hear a good news story, I wish you guys all the best.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

That's great. Congratz.
Looks like you've started your new year well.
I'm romantic at heart: Omnia vincit Amor, et nos cedamus Amori.