Does your other half know about you camming?

[lady_phoenix]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and also considering being a camgirl. As the title states, does your husband/partner know that you're a camgirl? If so, how do they feel about it? Did you tell them before you started or after you had already been doing it? If not, then do you feel it's because they won't understand or like it?

As i said, i am considering doing this, however, I have no idea how my partner would react if he ever found out or if I told him i was thinking of doing it. I would not want something like this to ruin my relationship but i am really interested in it.

 

[BlairLuxe]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and also considering being a camgirl. As the title states, does your husband/partner know that you're a camgirl? If so, how do they feel about it? Did you tell them before you started or after you had already been doing it? If not, then do you feel it's because they won't understand or like it?

As i said, i am considering doing this, however, I have no idea how my partner would react if he ever found out or if I told him i was thinking of doing it. I would not want something like this to ruin my relationship but i am really interested in it.

The best thing to do would just be talk to your partner about it. Open communication is key in relationships. Personally, I would never let someone tell me what I could or couldn't do for a living, so if it's what YOU want to do, I say you should go for it. It's just a job when it comes right down to it. Obviously if you live with your partner, you probably can't cam without them knowing. It'd just be improbable.

You could watch the documentary "Camgirlz" together to familiarize him with the job! A lot of the ladies in the movie also had their partners appear in the movie.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

The fact that you'd even consider doing it without telling your partner makes me wonder about your maturity level when it comes to relationships. Just talk about it with them. If they aren't comfortable with it and you feel strongly enough about camming, end the relationship. Or you could try coming to some sorta agreement that you are both ok with. Show them a few camsites so they understand what is going on. I'm assuming most other halfs are aware and either don't care or hate it and just deal with it out of necessity.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Personally, I would never let someone tell me what I could or couldn't do for a living, so if it's what YOU want to do, I say you should go for it.

Just noticed your post and this part seems like pretty bad advice and kind of a strange thought process, no offense, probably super offended tho. I don't think the other person would really be trying to tell them what they could or couldn't be doing if they weren't ok with it. I agree they should do whatever they want but it seems pretty silly if you are implying that someone not being cool with it is somehow controlling or telling them what they can or can't do. Should talk with the other half before they decide on camming in my opinion but I have no idea how serious of a relationship it is or how they treat relationships so my advice is probably equally terrible.

 

[MFCGod]

I have no idea how my partner would react if he ever found out or if I told him i was thinking of doing it. I would not want something like this to ruin my relationship but i am really interested in it.

I have no experience in this obviously

There's different avenues of opening doors to conversations

Maybe approach him with the old "I have a friend" method.

"I have a friend who has become a webcam model, what do you think about that?" - gives you a chance also to make a sales pitch for it without it being personal

If he is ok with it, maybe then slip in "lol could imagine me doing it.."

Seems like a safer and less heavy approach than directly coming out with it.

The fact that you'd even consider doing it without telling your partner makes me wonder about your maturity level when it comes to relationships.

You know when you start off advice with an insult it puts peoples guards up, so whatever you go on to say will probably be pointless because they wont want to listen.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Personally, I would never let someone tell me what I could or couldn't do for a living, so if it's what YOU want to do, I say you should go for it.

Just noticed your post and this part seems like pretty bad advice and kind of a strange thought process, no offense, probably super offended tho. I don't think the other person would really be trying to tell them what they could or couldn't be doing if they weren't ok with it. I agree they should do whatever they want but it seems pretty silly if you are implying that someone not being cool with it is somehow controlling or telling them what they can or can't do. Should talk with the other half before they decide on camming in my opinion but I have no idea how serious of a relationship it is or how they treat relationships so my advice is probably equally terrible.

There have been girls who have had there significant others tell them they cannot cam, Believe me it has happened and will always happen. Not EVERY guy is okay with this line of work. So Blair is 100 percent right in what she said. I would NEVER tell my bf he cant work at whatever job he wanted to and I expect the same thing back (sex worker or non sex worker). :twocents-02cents:

 

[LexieBlair]

I have been married almost 12 years now. My husband knows that I do this. He helps me with the content aspect of it. I have the mindset though that I would never do it without his knowing. I just fee like that would be a bad idea. I would talk to your partner before making any ultimate decisions.

 

[BlairLuxe]

Personally, I would never let someone tell me what I could or couldn't do for a living, so if it's what YOU want to do, I say you should go for it.

Just noticed your post and this part seems like pretty bad advice and kind of a strange thought process, no offense, probably super offended tho. I don't think the other person would really be trying to tell them what they could or couldn't be doing if they weren't ok with it. I agree they should do whatever they want but it seems pretty silly if you are implying that someone not being cool with it is somehow controlling or telling them what they can or can't do. Should talk with the other half before they decide on camming in my opinion but I have no idea how serious of a relationship it is or how they treat relationships so my advice is probably equally terrible.

There have been girls who have had there significant others tell them they cannot cam, Believe me it has happened and will always happen. Not EVERY guy is okay with this line of work. So Blair is 100 percent right in what she said. I would NEVER tell my bf he cant work at whatever job he wanted to and I expect the same thing back (sex worker or non sex worker). :twocents-02cents:

Not super offended tho, but thanks.

Thank you Bianca. This is what I was getting at, yeah. If I told a guy "hey, I want to be a camgirl/am a camgirl" and he said anything along the lines of "it's me or camming" I would say "see ya never, bye." I would expect the same from anyone I date if I ever hindered them from making their own life choices.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

You know when you start off advice with an insult it puts peoples guards up, so whatever you go on to say will probably be pointless because they wont want to listen.

Only if the person is very weak minded and can't take a little honesty.

There have been girls who have had there significant others tell them they cannot cam, Believe me it has happened and will always happen.

I believe you but don't see how it relates to anything that I said. All I was trying to say was that you can not like it and not be controlling about it, not liking it doesn't automatically make you a controlling person.

Not EVERY guy is okay with this line of work.

Well aware, would even argue that a majority of guys wouldn't be ok with this work for their partner.

So Blair is 100 percent right in what she said.

lol what? Right about what haha? Why is everything always a right or wrong situation here haha. If she thinks it is right to start camming behind her partners back I feel she is wrong, don't care what you think is right or wrong. Not really sure that was what she was saying tbh but whatever.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

If I told a guy "hey, I want to be a camgirl/am a camgirl" and he said anything along the lines of "it's me or camming" I would say "see ya never, bye." I would expect the same from anyone I date if I ever hindered them from making their own life choices.

Roger, I get what you meant now.

 

[BiancaBaker]

You know when you start off advice with an insult it puts peoples guards up, so whatever you go on to say will probably be pointless because they wont want to listen.

Only if the person is very weak minded and can't take a little honesty.

There have been girls who have had there significant others tell them they cannot cam, Believe me it has happened and will always happen.

I believe you but don't see how it relates to anything that I said. All I was trying to say was that you can not like it and not be controlling about it, not liking it doesn't automatically make you a controlling person.

Not EVERY guy is okay with this line of work.

Well aware, would even argue that a majority of guys wouldn't be ok with this work for their partner.

So Blair is 100 percent right in what she said.

lol what? Right about what haha? Why is everything always a right or wrong situation here haha. If she thinks it is right to start camming behind her partners back I feel she is wrong, don't care what you think is right or wrong. Not really sure that was what she was saying tbh but whatever.

Just noticed your post and this part seems like pretty bad advice and kind of a strange thought process

^^ This... Its not bad advice ALL she was saying is that someone shouldnt tell you what you should or shouldnt do and she would never quit or not do it. Of course NOT telling your partner is wrong.. I am assuming she is not telling him due to the nature of the job.. All I was saying is her advice is right: If you want to cam- CAM if your partner is not okay with it either 1.) Dont do it 2.) dump him and do what you want.. That is all.

Edit: Also I went from being hard-core with other females to non sexual for my bf - BUT if he ever said "its me or camming" I would leave him faster than he could turn around. No one financially supports me BUT me so nobody has any right to say HOW I make $$.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

NOT telling your partner is wrong..

This is all I was really trying to say. Glad we agree.

 

[Esther_Fae]

My partner knows what I do. They knew about it before we were together. And they are very supportive.
My ex was no okay with me wanting to do anything where people other than him would see me naked. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I do what I want to with my life and my body. Or I stay with him. He told me flat out that he was not going to stay with me if I chose to be naked on the internet. Needless to say that relationship ended. But not just because he wasn't okay with my choice in job.
Talk to your significant other. Relationships are about communication and compromise. However your significant other also has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do with your body and your life. And of course going behind their back and doing it without their knowledge is not something I would ever recommend.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Talk to him about it first, like Punk said... maybe take some time to gently explain things and show him MFC and some of your favorite models. Be patient and understanding with the idea that he will likely be a little shocked at first... even if he is ok with it afterwards, it's bound to throw him off a bit.

If he gives you the respect of allowing you to explain yourself but is not comfortable with it then YOU have to make the choice. I would genuinely hope (unless you are desperate for money and it's the only way to survive) that if your loving partner told you something hurt him and made him feel uncomfortable, even if he doesn't tell you that you can't do it... that you would put him as the priority.

That's my opinion. Not everyone is cut out for this industry, and a healthy relationship is about communication and compromise on both sides.

 

[RubyMia]

Well I was struggling to find work in the city I live in. A friend jokingly suggested I do it... So it got me thinking. I texted suggesting it to my boyfriend to see what his reaction would be... And he replied "go for it!"

When he got home we spoke about it properly and discussed how he felt about it etc. He said it was strange but he had no issue what so ever with me camming. He said that he knew I would be with him physically at the end of the day and that the camming was online and a job only.


So I did it! I've been camming for nearly 2 weeks now. I've made about $700 minimum so far. I'm pretty happy with my choice. I wouldn't have done it if he wasn't okay with it, I know it's my body and my choice but I wouldn't risk a 3.5 year relationship because I wanted to cam. I told him that if at any point his feelings towards camming change, I will stop immediately.

He knows how important he is and I remind him every day. I 'clock off' at around 4pm and by the time he's home I'm myself again


No one else knows what I do, we recently moved across the world so I just told everyone I picked up a flyering job.

Overall I'm glad I started. But bottom line is I wouldn't have done it behind his back, I value our trust and honesty. I like that we can talk about it.

 

[KylieJacobs]

Maybe approach him with the old "I have a friend" method.

"I have a friend who has become a webcam model, what do you think about that?" - gives you a chance also to make a sales pitch for it without it being personal

If he is ok with it, maybe then slip in "lol could imagine me doing it.."

Seems like a safer and less heavy approach than directly coming out with it.

MFCGod's suggestion is essentially how the conversation started with my partner and I.

During this 1st conversation, he pretty much responded with a "hell no!" In the next few months, the conversation came up occasionally as I joked about it in the bedroom, but he was still pretty much against it. I started researching on a regular basis though because I was really interested.

Things changed when I realized that I had enough of my verbally abusive (female) boss, and I just walked out the door! My 2 other co-workers who I became very close friends with had been working there for 2 years more than me (they are still working there, they want out, but are too scared to leave), would regularly go home from work crying because of her!

Anyways... after I left, I was looking for another job. Where I live there isn't exactly many job opportunities, so I brought up camming in a more serious conversation, and to my surprise he actually said yes! I was SO excited! I quickly bought a webcam before he changed his mind. :lol:

 

[Magnolia]

My other half IS a camgirl too! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So, that's a yes! I couldn't have it any other way. Communication, openness, and honesty are SO important. I think doing things like camming can actually strengthen many relationships. Best of luck to ya!

 

[RubyMia]

Anyways... after I left, I was looking for another job. Where I live there isn't exactly many job opportunities, so I brought up camming in a more serious conversation, and to my surprise he actually said yes! I was SO excited! I quickly bought a webcam before he changed his mind. :lol:

Haha! The second he agreed I was off out buying my webcam too!

 

[KristyLee]

I think camming and keeping it a secret from your partner would be so unbelievably stressful. If your partner is totally against it you have to decide what is more important to you. I think a lot of men don't mind it. When they see the money come in they see it really is a job, and that paycheck makes a difference. Also, it can really enhance your own sex life. There are pros and cons to camming.....he or she will hopefully weigh them out with an open mind.

 

[Deleted member 16664]

I am honest about this always, but I began camming while dating a partner. The biggest aspects I enjoy about a person is not their job, but who they are inside. We are so much more than our jobs! I do, however, worry how that would be brought up within a newly forming relationship and the other partner's reaction. Sometimes you never know, which is difficult! Open-mindedness = absolutely necessary.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

I would guess that if they are privileged enough to be considered my other half they'd better know enough about me to know that I am a camgirl.

 

[LoonaVision]

I have to say that almost everyone I stay in touch with, I mean every person I consider my close or good friend knows what I am doing. It is such a big part of my life, it's hard to hide it, I don't want to hide it, I have too many funny stories happened to me online I love to share with my friends.

 

[DevilDaughter]

My boy knows and is super cool with it and even watches me sometimes. I had mentioned that I wanted to start camming so he wasn't really surprised when I did. I think if you really want to do this and your partner isn't cool with it, you should find a new one who isn't as judgmental. I mean if someone isn't okay with you camming then that's just foreshadowing for future jealousy/judging issues on their part and dating someone like that is no fun

 

[BritneySiren]

I don't usually mention him online but he's known from the start. I was doing it before I met him and who knows how long I'll be doing it. First it was hot, then he got jealous, but now he's kinda accepted it as a job and doesn't freak out anymore. So do talk to your partner cause there may be a chance you can get over the hurdle if not then you kinda know what that means. I guess you'd also have to decide whether you'd rather work this type of job which has a lot of social downsides too or have the relationship. Though I dunno if I'd want to be with someone who'd make me choose but since you didn't meet him as a cam lady that's a bit different. Either way do talk to one another and listen to his feelings and concerns if any arise.

I hope things go ok

 

[annamaytiddies]

Mine does. Although, I told him about 2 weeks after I even started camming (I didnt even know if it would work out for me) out of pure respect. If it was the other way round, wouldn't you want to know?

I remember the day I told him. It was over the phone, and I was scared of how he might take it, so my voice was shaking and I was really nervous. His reaction was great. He was telling me there was no need to be nervous and he would support me with whatever choices I make, as long as it makes me happy.

Hope everything works out well for you.

 

[dilligaf0]

A non-camgirl perspective.

To preface my comments, I used to date a stripper (this was before the internet / camming sites existed).


I knew what she did for a living and was okay with it. I knew who she was coming home to every night and she never gave me a reason to distrust her. Camming should be no different.

You may have to make a decision between him or trying camming. Take your time and think about what you really want but make YOUR choice....not someone else's.


Best of luck.

 

[Amberlie_]

My fiancé has known right from the start, in fact he's the one that showed me MFC for the first time years ago! I do not think I'd have done all this without him as he's been my rock and helps me in so many ways x

 

[DuoShi]

Always talk to your guy/gal first before starting this up. It's not cool otherwise. I don't agree with dropping the cat, if he/she's not down with it, but that's up to you. At the very least, talking about it must happen.

 

[gingerhobbit]

I don't agree with dropping the cat.

Just for the record, I also am against dropping cats.

 

[Poker_Babe]

For me, I knew that my man would be cool with me camming once he saw how much money it could make, so I didn't tell him I started on MFC until I actually made some money first. But that's just my situation. You should know your man better than anyone else, and how he would feel about stuff like this. And if not, just sit down and talk with him first about that kind of stuff. Pick his brain.
But when it comes right down to it, there's no way you'll be able to make a living as a cam model without his support.