Does She Love me?

[CuriousGeorge1]

good evening all,

First of all, I think I have serious issues to even be asking this question but I want some cam people's expertise. also I'm just writing what is coming into my head, so if it doesn't make sense, sorry lol

So I've been talking to this cam girl for about a year now, and about a month ago...I said those 3 words to her, "I love you". safe to say she was shocked and didn't talk to me for a couple of hours, so that was a good start in my mind lol
a couple of days later I took what i said back....i said i felt stupid for saying those words.....again she was not happy, in her words "you cannot take back a love for a woman once you've said it"....and you know what i agree, we talked a little more and in the end she said that she was scared of falling for me, which she said she has and this is the reason she didn't want to say those 3 words....I believe her, I have no reason not too. we talk everyday, without fail, have done since we started talking & video chatting on Skype( nothing sexual, just talking. even though she speak a little English and i speak none of her language lol) and then on my birthday this year, she gave me her social messaging ( e.g WhatsApp). now my "problem" if you could call it that is that she lives approx. 1,700 miles away from me lol so we have never met and we maybe wont for a while ( Covid 19 etc). we know everything about each other, some quite personal things BUT now I may sound a dick for writing this, the issue is that i am super jealous....bad thing is she knows this, I on most other days have to apologise to her for overreacting to anything that happens.

okay don't know if any of my crap makes sense, but i just want to know is it possible to have a long distance relationship, with a cam girl, whom you've never met. can this be genuine.

i do love her, and ive had my shitty relationships in my lifetime, but this seems real... too good to be true? i don't know, i need someone to either slap me or whatever

thanks for reading this guys.

 

[kristenjade]

Is she getting paid for these interactions with you? If so, then no. She doesn't. It's a hustle.

Even if she isn't getting paid, odds are she doesn't and it's still a hustle.

 

[MarlieJane]

If you are that jealous, why and how would you cope with your partner working in the adult industry?

 

[englishmuffins]

Here's my two cents...

1. It is possible for some cam girls to genuinely care for their customers. I have a few customers that I genuinely do care about, however, as a model, I am very mindful that what I am doing, logging on and streaming on that day is purely a job. That said, it does not discount that genuine care and emotions can and could evolve from said situation. At the end of the day though.... This is her job. She knows full well what she is engaging in and showcasing. By her communicating with you off of regulated sites, she is risking her safety and getting banned depending on the site she works on. Keep in mind that I am not accusing you of endangering her, but it goes for all cam models to exercise caution and good judgement. Don't be surprised if there is hesitation on her side with communication and engagement with you.

2. Jealousy, while flattering at times, can be quite concerning. Should you choose to engage further with her, you need to be fully aware that her job is to talk to others and that she may also care for others. Make sure you are taking steps to check your jealousy. Create a coping system for yourself to make sure that your jealousy does not ruin your communication with her. It's important to recognize what triggers your jealousy and what you can do to help with that.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

now my "problem" if you could call it that is that she lives approx. 1,700 miles away from me lol so we have never met and we maybe wont for a while ( Covid 19 etc). we know everything about each other, some quite personal things BUT now I may sound a dick for writing this, the issue is that i am super jealous....bad thing is she knows this, I on most other days have to apologise to her for overreacting to anything that happens.

WTF are you jealous about? You've never met her in person, you met her on a cam site. It's her job to do cam work with other guys. If you're overreacting to her doing this now, you're going to have SERIOUS issues with her if she continues to work in this field. Are you going to demand that she stop doing it? That's not a good relationship when one makes demands of another.

Beyond that, how are you going to make a long distance relationship work when there's a language barrier as well as cultural differences? Do you have the funds to fly back and forth multiple times a year to visit her? What about her? Does she have the funds to fly and visit you, if she can even get a visa.

This isn't to say a model/member relationship can't work. It's just extremely rare for them to meet, and even more so get into a long-term relationship.

 

[Danigirl]

Why do people always think they're the exception and not the rule? 99.9% it's a hustle. Gonna go even further and say she's eastern European. That makes it 99.9999%. Even if she did actually care for you more than maybe a green card or more money (no idea what country you're in), your jealousy would make it ridiculous for you to be together as an actual couple. You cannot be with a cam model and be jealous. It won't work. This is her job, her livelihood and you cannot mess with that over your feelings. Especially since you know what she does before even saying you love her and use her for that purpose yourself.

This is infatuation with a fantasy not true love. True love simply doesn't get jealous because there's trust. Not trying to be a dick, but there's huge potential for you to hurt her, yourself, or both.

 

[englishmuffins]

This is infatuation with a fantasy not true love. True love simply doesn't get jealous because there's trust. Not trying to be a dick, but there's huge potential for you to hurt her, yourself, or both.

I absolutely agree with this statement. True love does not get jealous.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I absolutely agree with this statement. True love does not get jealous.

I'll second this.

 

[Lelo1]

Long as your paying for her time, it's just camming.

Ether way, getting jealous of her doing her job isn't going to work out.

 

[Kikikitty]

I think its great that you developed a good friendship with your model It is possible she likes you alot. If your spending a large portion of money on her then you either take really good care of her and have improved her life in many different ways or she might be working ( and just like you as a customer ).

Thank you for being brave enough to come to a site such as this to express yourself. It really hard to expose a secret as well to tell people about your flaw. Now you know that it is not a good thing to be jealous enough to over react to your model. She really is working hard and if she happens to be sad while camming because she doesn't want to upset you i promise shes going to start to do worse at her job if she keeps you around. She might not even want to have to leave you but at the end of the day she needs to make sure her life goals are met. As well as her basic human needs which all cost money.
I know It sucks when you really like some one so much and it feels like you have no control . I promise with time you will be able to practice skills to help you cope.
Try google and search all you can about how to curb jealousy . One more thing its okay to be jealous. It is perfectly okay to acknowledge it . It is what you do after feeling it. You can acknowledge it and not react to it . We have a million thoughts a day but we dont act on everyone that causes a feeling .

I have one sad thing to bring up to your attention. Sometimes cam girls that talk to you as long as you both have do really enjoy and like their relationship with you . However when a client says i love you it changes things. Some people say I LOVE YOU to me and they mean it as a kind manner like a fan. Other times its romantically. Its hard to know sometimes. As well if you spend a good portion on her shes totally in a bad position . In her mind she has gotten used to you being part of her income and if she says she loves you then maybe you will stay . The worst part she might just not want you to leave. IF she doesn't reply to i love you then he potential to make her income gets cut down. Its a hard place to be for everyone. Im not blaming you promise i just wanted you to see from another view point.

I hope it works out well for you and her . Thank you for sharing with us . Hugs

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

Hey pal id like to give some feed back as i also came to this sight for a similar situation, first off please listen to these women because they know what they are talkikg about. Also i dont wanna offend u in anyway possible but i must be honest, if ur getting jealious of her camming then its not for u. If u love her then u will understand camming is a source of income for her and understand people have to find ways to make money regardless. Also do u even know her real name? U have to be careful because every thing could be a lie. I posted a tbread on here months ago and every told me it was just a hustle. So do what they told me and nit buy into it. Some people also said to me to take $ out if the equation and see how it goes, however she could still talk to u hoping u will keep doing the shows if u stop. Im not tryin to burst ur bubble im just telling frok experience. Now i listened to these women and didnt do shows ever again because i had the bank cancel my debit card to beat the temptation and we managed to meet back in march amd things have been solid ever since and i still do not do them. If anything good does happen and i hope its legit but my guess is its not, that if u did meet be prepared for someone totally different that u see now. Shes gonna tell show u what she wants u to see and tell u only what u need to know. I hope this can help pal

 

[PsychedelicPanda]

I don't have much to add since everyone has already posted some great thoughts. You might want to be careful with the "I love you" and being jealous. That combination could end in her blocking you.

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Is she getting paid for these interactions with you? If so, then no. She doesn't. It's a hustle.

Even if she isn't getting paid, odds are she doesn't and it's still a hustle.

no she isn't getting paid.... she did once upon a time.....so its basically a hustle? lol

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Hey pal id like to give some feed back as i also came to this sight for a similar situation, first off please listen to these women because they know what they are talkikg about. Also i dont wanna offend u in anyway possible but i must be honest, if ur getting jealious of her camming then its not for u. If u love her then u will understand camming is a source of income for her and understand people have to find ways to make money regardless. Also do u even know her real name? U have to be careful because every thing could be a lie. I posted a tbread on here months ago and every told me it was just a hustle. So do what they told me and nit buy into it. Some people also said to me to take $ out if the equation and see how it goes, however she could still talk to u hoping u will keep doing the shows if u stop. Im not tryin to burst ur bubble im just telling frok experience. Now i listened to these women and didnt do shows ever again because i had the bank cancel my debit card to beat the temptation and we managed to meet back in march amd things have been solid ever since and i still do not do them. If anything good does happen and i hope its legit but my guess is its not, that if u did meet be prepared for someone totally different that u see now. Shes gonna tell show u what she wants u to see and tell u only what u need to know. I hope this can help pal

may i ask if your girl was from the same county, how long did you speak to her before meeting her?

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Here's my two cents...

1. It is possible for some cam girls to genuinely care for their customers. I have a few customers that I genuinely do care about, however, as a model, I am very mindful that what I am doing, logging on and streaming on that day is purely a job. That said, it does not discount that genuine care and emotions can and could evolve from said situation. At the end of the day though.... This is her job. She knows full well what she is engaging in and showcasing. By her communicating with you off of regulated sites, she is risking her safety and getting banned depending on the site she works on. Keep in mind that I am not accusing you of endangering her, but it goes for all cam models to exercise caution and good judgement. Don't be surprised if there is hesitation on her side with communication and engagement with you.

2. Jealousy, while flattering at times, can be quite concerning. Should you choose to engage further with her, you need to be fully aware that her job is to talk to others and that she may also care for others. Make sure you are taking steps to check your jealousy. Create a coping system for yourself to make sure that your jealousy does not ruin your communication with her. It's important to recognize what triggers your jealousy and what you can do to help with that.

you got any idea on a coping system for my jealousy lol

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

Shes about 45 minutes away from me and we talked for 7 months i believe, today is 9 months so we are going to attempt to go out tonight but idk due to the virus

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

WTF are you jealous about? You've never met her in person, you met her on a cam site. It's her job to do cam work with other guys. If you're overreacting to her doing this now, you're going to have SERIOUS issues with her if she continues to work in this field. Are you going to demand that she stop doing it? That's not a good relationship when one makes demands of another.

Beyond that, how are you going to make a long distance relationship work when there's a language barrier as well as cultural differences? Do you have the funds to fly back and forth multiple times a year to visit her? What about her? Does she have the funds to fly and visit you, if she can even get a visa.

This isn't to say a model/member relationship can't work. It's just extremely rare for them to meet, and even more so get into a long-term relationship.

I never make or have mad demands to her, that would be just darn stupid. Sometimes you dont need language, when I stare into her eyes when we video chat( well look haha) I know deep down she isn't lying to me.

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

may i ask if your girl was from the same county, how long did you speak to her before meeting her?

Id also like to add since i seen u said something about beinf 1700 miles away to ( if u are still doing show) put the money youd spend on the shows away and put it toward a plain ticket to meet her

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Shes about 45 minutes away from me and we talked for 7 months i believe, today is 9 months so we are going to attempt to go out tonight but idk due to the virus

that's amazing luck lol, how did you end up talking to a cam girl who lives just down the road! well fair play mate, mines millions of miles away

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Id also like to add since i seen u said something about beinf 1700 miles away to ( if u are still doing show) put the money youd spend on the shows away and put it toward a plain ticket to meet her

sad part is, well hard part not sad, is that we both have kids....therefore it seems even more unlikely we'd have a chance to meet

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Why do people always think they're the exception and not the rule? 99.9% it's a hustle. Gonna go even further and say she's eastern European. That makes it 99.9999%. Even if she did actually care for you more than maybe a green card or more money (no idea what country you're in), your jealousy would make it ridiculous for you to be together as an actual couple. You cannot be with a cam model and be jealous. It won't work. This is her job, her livelihood and you cannot mess with that over your feelings. Especially since you know what she does before even saying you love her and use her for that purpose yourself.

This is infatuation with a fantasy not true love. True love simply doesn't get jealous because there's trust. Not trying to be a dick, but there's huge potential for you to hurt her, yourself, or both.

is it harsh to put all eastern Europeans in the same bracket? I will see how this goes over the next few months but after reading most peoples comments on here, im not holding out for some sort of miracle lol

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

I don't have much to add since everyone has already posted some great thoughts. You might want to be careful with the "I love you" and being jealous. That combination could end in her blocking you.

well the blocking may help with my jealousy lol I don't think it will come to that, at the end of the day id still value her friendship over nothing, I just need her to tell me friends and no more, gives me a clear head

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

that's amazing luck lol, how did you end up talking to a cam girl who lives just down the road! well fair play mate, mines millions of miles away

Well i met her on a dating app claimed she moved here from columbia wen she was 16, for the longest time i didnt believe it and wen i made my thread here it was certain it was a lie but i didnt find out it was true till we met, anyway i really want to add ur jealiousy will need to stop but it wont. Ill tell u what will happen right now....... ur gonna get jealious of her flirting eith guys and doing her thung in cam, then ur gonna get to thinking and over analyze shit. Then ur gonna act out and then itll be over, not tryna be a dick its just how it is ive seen it so many times with friends in relationships, also do u know her real name? Do u have her phone number? How do u talk to her? This is what u can do because ive done it.... if there is things she told u wen u very first started ask her questions about it and if its different then what she said the first time then its a lie. I feel bad tryna sound like this but idk ur spot so im telling from my own experience. Also if ur never gonna meet and its to hard AND ur jealously will get in the way that i can promise u right now. Then id say break it off. Theres no harm in talking but in the meantime id find someone near u

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I never make or have mad demands to her, that would be just darn stupid. Sometimes you dont need language, when I stare into her eyes when we video chat( well look haha) I know deep down she isn't lying to me.

I don’t think you know. I’d say probably wishful hope or just too dumb.

you didn’t answer the rest of my questions. How are going to address the other things.

 

[englishmuffins]

you got any idea on a coping system for my jealousy lol

I believe in rationally and scientifically approaching situations, so in my opinion this is a good link to check out from an accredited psychologist on how to identify and manage jealousy.

Taming Jealousy

How to defeat "the green-eyed monster."

www.psychologytoday.com

Keep in mind that working through jealousy and creating a coping mechanism is different for each person, however I do agree that being vulnerable, identifying what triggers your jealousy, good communication, and strong self discipline are essential.

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

I don’t think you know. I’d say probably wishful hope or just too dumb.

you didn’t answer the rest of my questions. How are going to address the other things.

]

her English is pretty good, compared to me trying to speak her languages lol I could fly back and forth no problem its just I don't think shed ever be able to come and see me.
the jealousy thing...I know iver never met her but shes got me hook line and sinker tbh, that's why it feels way more real than it probally is in reality.
I hope cam relastionships work, i mean one guy on here seems to be doing okay with a similar, if not closer to home, situation.

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

]

her English is pretty good, compared to me trying to speak her languages lol I could fly back and forth no problem its just I don't think shed ever be able to come and see me.
the jealousy thing...I know iver never met her but shes got me hook line and sinker tbh, that's why it feels way more real than it probally is in reality.
I hope cam relastionships work, i mean one guy on here seems to be doing okay with a similar, if not closer to home, situation.

Her jobs to get u hooked pal, thats how she makes the money, just saying.

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

I believe in rationally and scientifically approaching situations, so in my opinion this is a good link to check out from an accredited psychologist on how to identify and manage jealousy.

Taming Jealousy

How to defeat "the green-eyed monster."

www.psychologytoday.com

Keep in mind that working through jealousy and creating a coping mechanism is different for each person, however I do agree that being vulnerable, identifying what triggers your jealousy, good communication, and strong self discipline are essential.

very good read and its questions I will ask myself if I ever think im getting jealous or something along those times. thank you

 

[CuriousGeorge1]

Her jobs to get u hooked pal, thats how she makes the money, just saying.

I know but I don't pay her anymore and haven't for months but we still talk everyday without fail....so that is my dilemma

 

[Jasonmccartey123]

I know but I don't pay her anymore and haven't for months but we still talk everyday without fail....so that is my dilemma

Well there is no harm in talking, but id look for someone closer in the mean time, also take this advice " believe half of what u see and nothing u hear"