Do I continue with this situation?

[Ontounderstandung]

Hi,

I’m aware that there is a lot “omg I found a girl on cam that I like! is this real that she likes me too?”

However maybe this one is a little different. I’m looking for advice on how to manage this situation

I’ve been single 1.5 years, about 5months ago I end up on a cam site and find this Colombian girl 23 y/o (I’m 28 from uk) the first couple of times we have private sessions and have fun, thinking nothing of it other than damn she’s really beautiful.. so I go a couple times a month as I’m happy with the service (bare in mind these aren’t long private sessions I’m just having the fun and leaving) then one time I enter free mode and we start talking and we clicked very naturally, getting to know each other, making each other cry laughing, this must’ve been over a couple of hours inbetween some people taking her private.
So from then on we did the free mode a lot more than private’s and sometimes I feel bad for sitting in free and her not getting any money so I tip her (only £10 as that is max per tip) and she gets a bit bothered and tells me that’s not something that I need to do now, she doesn’t see me as a customer etc

fast forward to last month and she gives me her work number to talk to her on, which we did on and off but it wasn’t her main phone so after 2 weeks of that she gave me her main phone number so “we can be closer” and we’ve called a few times and text almost everyday, she’s funny, flirty, we have a lot in common and the language barrier isn’t too difficult either. She has told me multiple times she adores our connection and how she’s saving to fly over even if it’s meeting half way (sending screenshots of her saving etc) but sometimes she gives mixed signals, on occasions she doesn’t seem to fancy talking as she gives 1 or 2 word replies to questions I ask or general messages , so when I try to give her space and she realises this she will come back and start a conversation then not reply for a day.

Now at the minute I do like her I do feel a connection but i obviously have the thoughts in my head second guessing it all. Like is she genuinely interested and is it just their culture that she doesn’t need to speak to me every day.
Her wanting to fly so quickly kind of feels like a red flag . But also the fact she works for a studio she’s risked a lot letting me have her phone numbers, which itself says a lot I would assume?

I understand this is fairly early on too, do I carry on and just go with the flow. Or could there be something dodgey about this?

 

[KingMarti]

It doesnt sound any different honestly. check out the below thread and see how many similarities you can see.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

 

[Ozzie_]

Yes, what @KingMarti said. It really is exactly like any of other those stories. I understand how intoxicating the world of cam-models can be, especially if one is in a "vulnerable" head-space. But really models are not camming to find a partner. It sounds like a standard mode of operation. I am not saying that she is doing anything wrong, I imagine she expects you (as an adult) to know that cam-sites are a fantasy world and that her attention is really only dependent on your tipping (or potential future tipping).

 

[Highlander884]

Out of curiosity, how would any of you other users feel if your favourite model turned up on your doorstep unannounced?

For me I be scared.

 

[Ozzie_]

Out of curiosity, how would any of you other users feel if your favourite model turned up on your doorstep unannounced?

For me I be scared.

Personally I would not be bothered. I have known my favourite model for many years now and consider us to be friends. The modern equivalent of pen-pals. (Also I guess, internet friends with benefits )

But if another model turned up, yeah I'd be "curious" although if they travelled all the way down here, I doubt there would be anything too nefarious afoot.. it's a LONG way to come for a con job lol.

 

[Smoothie]

OP - I can’t tell you what to do, nor do I know what the model’s motivation is. But I can tell you from having read probably hundreds of these types of posts on ACF over many years, that your situation doesn’t seem appreciably different.

The good news is if you’re approaching this as a model-customer relationship (which it is) and you’re cool with continuing to pay this model in exchange for the warm & fuzzy feeling you’re getting, go for it. Just remember cam sites aren’t dating sites.

Out of curiosity, how would any of you other users feel if your favourite model turned up on your doorstep unannounced?

For me I be scared.

Scared isn’t the right term. I’d be exceptionally weirded out by it, just as I would if any other online-only acquaintance showed up at my doorstep unannounced.

 

[MarieElise]

But how did they get the address? All of this hinges upon how they got the address. There's only one way they'd get the address; because you fucking gave it to them lol What did you expect giving your address away like that willy nilly? if you give your address away to strangers ... don't get mad when they show up expecting free food, and wanting to party

 

[Ontounderstandung]

Thanks for the replies, I’d like to clarify that other than the privates at the start and that one tip I mentioned I haven’t actually been giving her money at all for a while. I don’t even enter the chat room anymore

I also haven’t given my full address out she just knows my country. Which is why there was talks of her flying to my country or meeting halfway. Still strange though after a couple of months to be suggesting this to me

For me I just find it confusing because I’m not paying for anything anymore and because she works in those Colombian studios I hear are strict, it was very risky to be given out personal numbers, right?
So maybe she is genuine. But how do you know these days haha.

I appreciate after reading more threads that this is a similar case to some others

 

[bamdicted]

Out of curiosity, how would any of you other users feel if your favourite model turned up on your doorstep unannounced?

For me I be scared.

I would be pleased to see that my persistence paid off, I have been nagging her for years about coming and cleaning my apartment...I even offered her free coffee

 

[SCRIPTA]

Hi,

I’m aware that there is a lot “omg I found a girl on cam that I like! is this real that she likes me too?”

However maybe this one is a little different....

Full-stop... it's NEVER different.

 

[cbhours]

She has told me multiple times she adores our connection and how she’s saving to fly over even if it’s meeting half way

meeting half way?

 

[AudriTwo]

Where is meeting halfway? The Mariana Trench?

 

[cbhours]

Where is meeting halfway? The Mariana Trench?

I was actually writing that exact same thing originally but then I googled where it was xD

Edit: actually it fits if they fly the wrong way around the world

 

[misterical]

Where is meeting halfway? The Mariana Trench?

The wreck of the Titanic. Keeping it topical.

 

[AudriTwo]

I was actually writing that exact same thing originally but then I googled where it was xD

Edit: actually it fits if they fly the wrong way around the world

My mistake lol.. The Mid-Atlantic Ridge

 

[RainForest]

Where is meeting halfway? The Mariana Trench?

Bikini Bottom seems a bit more pleasant

 

[yummybrownfox]

I would be pleased to see that my persistence paid off, I have been nagging her for years about coming and cleaning my apartment...I even offered her free coffee

I hope it’s Dunkin.

 

[RVN]

I've been in the situation you're in with a Colombian model. Send me a PM if you want to talk about it. The only piece of advice I'll give now would be do not send money under any circumstances. Tokens and gifts etc would be ok but sending money becomes a slippery slope.

 

[bamdicted]

I hope it’s Dunkin.

I respect her too much for that...
It would be a a double shot Americano made from Lavazza Oro beans (I have an espresso maker)

ETA: If she does a great job I might even make her a second one.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I've been in the situation you're in with a Colombian model. Send me a PM if you want to talk about it. The only piece of advice I'll give now would be do not send money under any circumstances. Tokens and gifts etc would be ok but sending money becomes a slippery slope.

Giving tokens IS sending money, and that’s exactly what you should do on cam sites, because sending a model flowers or a necklace is not going to pay her rent/bills. TOKENS will. It’s a cam site…not a dating site or a site for finding an in-person fuck buddy. All this talk about supposedly flying out…or meeting halfway…just no.

I can’t tell you how annoying it is when you’re a model trying to earn money (tokens), and instead of tipping…a member starts asking stuff like “Can I have fruit sent to your house?”

 

[Hiunds]

So, I have been visiting models on Stripchat for a little over 2 years - many of whom have been Colombian models. Generally speaking, Colombian models are very pretty, but culturally also really outgoing and flirty. The vast majority also work for studios, which brings a whole other dynamic. It is also true that many Colombian models live in poverty as compared to North American and European users.

I am a good tipper and also try to be polite, supportive and friendly with models. I also don’t really ask for a lot of deviant shit (my opinion). As a result, I tend to be pretty popular with the Colombian models I visit because I am a “good customer.”

During my time on Stripchat I have had a lot of offers from Colombian models - and pretty much only from Colombian (or Venezuelan) models, not the American, European or Australian models I visit. These include:

• Meet them in their country for sex
• Meet them at a third location like a Mexican resort where sex and possibly more would occur
• Meet them in the US where sex and possibly more would occur
• Engage in a “sugar daddy” relationship where I support them
• Get involved as partners with marriage as an expected outcome

I never pursue this stuff, but generally I think there is a fine line between:

A) a model giving the girlfriend experience to build connection and talking about exaggerated scenarios that cultivate a good paying customer
B) a model trying to get a “sugar daddy” situation started (which isn’t really something I am looking for but which I don’t have any objection to between consenting parties)
C) a model who wants a legitimate marriage to get out of a difficult situation and maybe citizenship into a new country. Usually they are willing to trade a lot to be with someone who will treat them nicely and support them financially
D) an actual love con where they just want your money and don’t give a shit about you at all

I think there is an incredibly small percentage of these situations that result in a real relationship. The possibility is there but, man, you are talking about a huge gap in language, culture, economic class (probably), etc. (in my case age too). You need to consider all that.

There was a poster on here, maybe he still posts. I don’t remember his name but he had a volcano as an avatar. He had family who were Colombian cam models. He basically talked about how the situation there is in many cases dire financially, so there are definitely women who will make the trade-off of attaching to a man they don’t love but will provide for them and not abuse them. I always remember that when I talk to Colombian and Venezuelan models. I am visiting a model now who is 26 (almost 30 years younger than me) and has 2 kids. She keeps talking about being together and it’s clear what she wants is a better life for her and her kids. That is heady stuff and not something to take advantage of. I keep telling her I like her shows and want to continue to see her for them, but try to shut down the other talk

I guess my point is, I always assume that all of this stuff is just talk and to stick to the cam model-user relationship (I tip you, you do stuff for that compensation). You will likely never know what her intentions are unless you see it through and likely get disappointed.

But, yeah, this sounds like every other “I’m in love with a cam model” thread

 

[RVN]

Giving tokens IS sending money, and that’s exactly what you should do on cam sites, because sending a modelwe flowers or a necklace is not going to pay her rent/bills. TOKENS will. It’s a cam site…not a dating site or a site for finding an in-person fuck buddy. All this talk about supposedly flying out…or meeting halfway…just no.

I can’t tell you how annoying it is when you’re a model trying to earn money (tokens), and instead of tipping…a member starts asking stuff like “Can I have fruit sent to your house?”

I think you misread my post, I did say to send tokens and it's important to do so if you're taking up a models time. I wasn't suggesting he stops tipping this girl and pays her for her time in bananas.

I was referring to sending money off site by PayPal, Western Union etc.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I think you misread my post, I did say to send tokens and it's important to do so if you're taking up a models time. I wasn't suggesting he stops tipping this girl and pays her for her time in bananas.

I was referring to sending money off site by PayPal, Western Union etc.

No, I didn’t misread your post, and I know what you meant. The wording of your post was just weird to me (to tell a member to “not send money” when that’s what tipping tokens is). Just say “Don’t send money off site.”

 

[BlueEyezIrish]

Hi,

I’m aware that there is a lot “omg I found a girl on cam that I like! is this real that she likes me too?”

However maybe this one is a little different. I’m looking for advice on how to manage this situation

I’ve been single 1.5 years, about 5months ago I end up on a cam site and find this Colombian girl 23 y/o (I’m 28 from uk) the first couple of times we have private sessions and have fun, thinking nothing of it other than damn she’s really beautiful.. so I go a couple times a month as I’m happy with the service (bare in mind these aren’t long private sessions I’m just having the fun and leaving) then one time I enter free mode and we start talking and we clicked very naturally, getting to know each other, making each other cry laughing, this must’ve been over a couple of hours inbetween some people taking her private.
So from then on we did the free mode a lot more than private’s and sometimes I feel bad for sitting in free and her not getting any money so I tip her (only £10 as that is max per tip) and she gets a bit bothered and tells me that’s not something that I need to do now, she doesn’t see me as a customer etc

fast forward to last month and she gives me her work number to talk to her on, which we did on and off but it wasn’t her main phone so after 2 weeks of that she gave me her main phone number so “we can be closer” and we’ve called a few times and text almost everyday, she’s funny, flirty, we have a lot in common and the language barrier isn’t too difficult either. She has told me multiple times she adores our connection and how she’s saving to fly over even if it’s meeting half way (sending screenshots of her saving etc) but sometimes she gives mixed signals, on occasions she doesn’t seem to fancy talking as she gives 1 or 2 word replies to questions I ask or general messages , so when I try to give her space and she realises this she will come back and start a conversation then not reply for a day.

Now at the minute I do like her I do feel a connection but i obviously have the thoughts in my head second guessing it all. Like is she genuinely interested and is it just their culture that she doesn’t need to speak to me every day.
Her wanting to fly so quickly kind of feels like a red flag . But also the fact she works for a studio she’s risked a lot letting me have her phone numbers, which itself says a lot I would assume?

I understand this is fairly early on too, do I carry on and just go with the flow. Or could there be something dodgey about this?

Every rule of

Hi,

I’m aware that there is a lot “omg I found a girl on cam that I like! is this real that she likes me too?”

However maybe this one is a little different. I’m looking for advice on how to manage this situation

I’ve been single 1.5 years, about 5months ago I end up on a cam site and find this Colombian girl 23 y/o (I’m 28 from uk) the first couple of times we have private sessions and have fun, thinking nothing of it other than damn she’s really beautiful.. so I go a couple times a month as I’m happy with the service (bare in mind these aren’t long private sessions I’m just having the fun and leaving) then one time I enter free mode and we start talking and we clicked very naturally, getting to know each other, making each other cry laughing, this must’ve been over a couple of hours inbetween some people taking her private.
So from then on we did the free mode a lot more than private’s and sometimes I feel bad for sitting in free and her not getting any money so I tip her (only £10 as that is max per tip) and she gets a bit bothered and tells me that’s not something that I need to do now, she doesn’t see me as a customer etc

fast forward to last month and she gives me her work number to talk to her on, which we did on and off but it wasn’t her main phone so after 2 weeks of that she gave me her main phone number so “we can be closer” and we’ve called a few times and text almost everyday, she’s funny, flirty, we have a lot in common and the language barrier isn’t too difficult either. She has told me multiple times she adores our connection and how she’s saving to fly over even if it’s meeting half way (sending screenshots of her saving etc) but sometimes she gives mixed signals, on occasions she doesn’t seem to fancy talking as she gives 1 or 2 word replies to questions I ask or general messages , so when I try to give her space and she realises this she will come back and start a conversation then not reply for a day.

Now at the minute I do like her I do feel a connection but i obviously have the thoughts in my head second guessing it all. Like is she genuinely interested and is it just their culture that she doesn’t need to speak to me every day.
Her wanting to fly so quickly kind of feels like a red flag . But also the fact she works for a studio she’s risked a lot letting me have her phone numbers, which itself says a lot I would assume?

I understand this is fairly early on too, do I carry on and just go with the flow. Or could there be something dodgey about this?

you both violated the rules by communicating exchanging personal info. Models are stupid to be giving out their phone numbers. Users are stupid to think models want to fuck for free in the real world with a user.

 

[LilyLaughing]

is it just their culture that she doesn’t need to speak to me every day.

There is nothing odd about this even if it were a woman who met you on a dating site considering you are half a planet away and not in a committed relationship already where you have talked about contact frequency.

Personally, I think you should move on and consider taking a break from cam sites (and maybe dating too) if you are finding it difficult when someone takes a day to respond. IRL life and online life are two different things, and you have no way to know what's happening IRL.

From a model's side: take a night off or a nap or go run errands, and watch how many cam viewers berate you when you return for not telling them what I was doing. No one has energy for that.

 

[misterical]

So, I have been visiting models on Stripchat for a little over 2 years - many of whom have been Colombian models. Generally speaking, Colombian models are very pretty, but culturally also really outgoing and flirty. The vast majority also work for studios, which brings a whole other dynamic. It is also true that many Colombian models live in poverty as compared to North American and European users.

I am a good tipper and also try to be polite, supportive and friendly with models. I also don’t really ask for a lot of deviant shit (my opinion). As a result, I tend to be pretty popular with the Colombian models I visit because I am a “good customer.”

During my time on Stripchat I have had a lot of offers from Colombian models - and pretty much only from Colombian (or Venezuelan) models, not the American, European or Australian models I visit. These include:

• Meet them in their country for sex
• Meet them at a third location like a Mexican resort where sex and possibly more would occur
• Meet them in the US where sex and possibly more would occur
• Engage in a “sugar daddy” relationship where I support them
• Get involved as partners with marriage as an expected outcome

I never pursue this stuff, but generally I think there is a fine line between:

A) a model giving the girlfriend experience to build connection and talking about exaggerated scenarios that cultivate a good paying customer
B) a model trying to get a “sugar daddy” situation started (which isn’t really something I am looking for but which I don’t have any objection to between consenting parties)
C) a model who wants a legitimate marriage to get out of a difficult situation and maybe citizenship into a new country. Usually they are willing to trade a lot to be with someone who will treat them nicely and support them financially
D) an actual love con where they just want your money and don’t give a shit about you at all

I think there is an incredibly small percentage of these situations that result in a real relationship. The possibility is there but, man, you are talking about a huge gap in language, culture, economic class (probably), etc. (in my case age too). You need to consider all that.

There was a poster on here, maybe he still posts. I don’t remember his name but he had a volcano as an avatar. He had family who were Colombian cam models. He basically talked about how the situation there is in many cases dire financially, so there are definitely women who will make the trade-off of attaching to a man they don’t love but will provide for them and not abuse them. I always remember that when I talk to Colombian and Venezuelan models. I am visiting a model now who is 26 (almost 30 years younger than me) and has 2 kids. She keeps talking about being together and it’s clear what she wants is a better life for her and her kids. That is heady stuff and not something to take advantage of. I keep telling her I like her shows and want to continue to see her for them, but try to shut down the other talk

I guess my point is, I always assume that all of this stuff is just talk and to stick to the cam model-user relationship (I tip you, you do stuff for that compensation). You will likely never know what her intentions are unless you see it through and likely get disappointed.

But, yeah, this sounds like every other “I’m in love with a cam model” thread

Hmmm. I've been visiting Colombian models for years. I've never once encountered any of the behaviours you have talked about there. Suggesting that many Colombian models live in poverty is a popular stereotype but in my experience it's not massively true. Many of them earn more as cam models than they would in vanilla jobs. It ties back to outdated views of Colombia and Latin America as a whole.

I think in this case, the OP is caught up in scenario A to some extent.

All of the Colombian models I've met have been far from any of the stereotypes in your post. Decent, ordinary women doing a good job in my experience. Not scammers in any way shape or form. However, they won't look a gift horse in the mouth wither. A lot of the guys who come on here claiming that Colombian models are scammers are desperate to be white knight heroes.

 

[Hiunds]

Hmmm. I've been visiting Colombian models for years. I've never once encountered any of the behaviours you have talked about there. Suggesting that many Colombian models live in poverty is a popular stereotype but in my experience it's not massively true. Many of them earn more as cam models than they would in vanilla jobs. It ties back to outdated views of Colombia and Latin America as a whole.

I think in this case, the OP is caught up in scenario A to some extent.

All of the Colombian models I've met have been far from any of the stereotypes in your post. Decent, ordinary women doing a good job in my experience. Not scammers in any way shape or form. However, they won't look a gift horse in the mouth wither. A lot of the guys who come on here claiming that Colombian models are scammers are desperate to be white knight heroes.

I am not saying all Colombian models are scammers and certainly did not intend to insinuate that all Colombian models are looking to hook up with (perceived) rich dudes. But you can read my post any way you want and disagree with whatever you want, man. I don’t have the energy for it

 

[Vixxen81]

But you can read my post any way you want and disagree with whatever you want, man. I don’t have the energy for it

This is why I stopped leaving any kind of ambiguity in my comments on here the last month or so. I do not have the spoons to read paragraphs and paragraphs of opinions when I was probably making a sarcastic comment to begin with with little depth more than a passing commentary on the idea/subject. It's exhausting and I'm struggling hard this month, I just don't have the want to engage past answering a question with a simple answer.

That said, I often wonder if people mean that Colombian models are less well off than American models or less well off for their own country? I think there's a difference and both could probably be proven on any given day with proper exchange rate information couple with cost to be paid out by sites. Wire transfers aren't free.

 

[Hiunds]

That said, I often wonder if people mean that Colombian models are less well off than American models or less well off for their own country? I think there's a difference and both could probably be proven on any given day with proper exchange rate information couple with cost to be paid out by sites. Wire transfers aren't free.

My impression is that the cam model job makes as much as many professions in Colombia, like misterical said. So more talking about Colombia vs US, Australia, Western Europe, etc. at least that is what I meant and certainly I am no expert. A lot (not all - damn I am caveating a lot now) of models also work for studios, so those ones lose a cut of their tokens off the top as well

 

[misterical]

I think the thing that gets lost in these discussions is that yes, incomes in Colombia are a lot lower than in other parts of the world but expenses (food, rent, cost of services etc) scale accordingly. It's easy to look at the income there and think that it wouldn't go far based on the costs in the USA or Europe but you are comparing apples with oranges.

The Colombians I know (and I'm not saying that's all of them) live in apartments that look nicer and more modern than many I see in Europe, can afford to eat out more often on a weekly basis than most people here and when they do, it's not the ultra-processed garbage that gets served up in the USA and parts of Europe.

There's a real misconception that Colombia is full of people sitting dreaming of finding a way to the USA. The Colombians I know are proud to be Colombian, proud of where they live. Yes, they know it's not perfect and corruption and crime is still a problem but they send their kids to school every day knowing they'll be safe from harm.