Corrupt a Wish Game

[Diana Blake]

Granted, you now live in a perfectly temperature controlled bubble. There is no way in or out so you will slowly starve to death.

I wish I could add extra hours to the day when I'm running late or just really need a nap.

 

[Shaun__]

I wish I could add extra hours to the day when I'm running late or just really need a nap.

Granted, but the first time you use your power everyone will be flung into space as the planet slows down to add time to the day.

I wish I was a master of Kung fu.

 

[Diana Blake]

I wish I was a master of Kung fu.

Granted. Kung Fu is the name of a male performer of erotic oil massage who uses his naked oily body to reach all those tight, hard to reach places.

 

[Shaun__]

I wish I was a master of Kung fu.

Granted. Kung Fu is the name of a male performer of erotic oil massage who uses his naked oily body to reach all those tight, hard to reach places.

Granted, you get your wish to see me erotically intertwined with a well oiled Kung fu. It ruins all other porn for you, which is boring my comparison.

I wish I knew what to do next year.

 

[krukstyle]

Granted--you know exactly what to do next year, but on new year's eve you drink some funky champagne that sends you into a Rip Van Winkle like state for the next three years--and then you wake up to enjoy your outdated information.

I wish I had a magical seashell that I could put up against my ear at any time and hear something completely hilarious, that would cause me to belly laugh for long periods of time--like rolling on the floor red in the face can't breathe type laughter. Kind of like an on demand laugh therapy machine.

 

[yossarian]

Granted--you know exactly what to do next year, but on new year's eve you drink some funky champagne that sends you into a Rip Van Winkle like state for the next three years--and then you wake up to enjoy your outdated information.

I wish I had a magical seashell that I could put up against my ear at any time and hear something completely hilarious, that would cause me to belly laugh for long periods of time--like rolling on the floor red in the face can't breathe type laughter. Kind of like an on demand laugh therapy machine.

Granted, but there is always a delayed reaction--you don't start laughing right away and you can't predict when your next laughing fit will occur, which makes funerals awkward.

I wish there was no need for money in the world.

 

[BlueViolet]

I wish there was no need for money in the world.

Granted, money is no longer necessary and we do not use it. Instead, we have returned to the bartering system and you have to negotiate which possessions you are willing to offer to camgirls before she will give you a show. Public show topics now read as, "16 chickens, 1 goat left till topless" and the camgirl has to actually receive them in the mail before she can knock them off the countdown which depends on how fast of a shipping option you choose.

I wish that I could make any person I met do anything I wanted them to simply by asking or suggesting it. If I wanted my feet massaged, I just stick my foot near their hands, if I want them to pay the dinner bill, I just slide the bill over, if I wanted them to clean my house, I put a broom in their hand and they get this euphoric happiness from doing it.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I wish there was no need for money in the world.

Granted, money is no longer necessary and we do not use it. Instead, we have returned to the bartering system and you have to negotiate which possessions you are willing to offer to camgirls before she will give you a show. Public show topics now read as, "16 chickens, 1 goat left till topless" and the camgirl has to actually receive them in the mail before she can knock them off the countdown which depends on how fast of a shipping option you choose.

I wish that I could make any person I met do anything I wanted them to simply by asking or suggesting it. If I wanted my feet massaged, I just stick my foot near their hands, if I want them to pay the dinner bill, I just slide the bill over, if I wanted them to clean my house, I put a broom in their hand and they get this euphoric happiness from doing it.

Granted, but in a bid to experience that euphoric happiness again and again, people start to fight one another for the exclusive right to massage your feet, buy you dinner and clean your house. This leads to bloodshed wherever you go.

I wish I could make anything in the world appear before me just by thinking about it. Pizza? Done. New 72" 3D TV? Done. An assortment of beautiful women desperate to sleep with me? Done.

 

[Shaun__]

I wish I could make anything in the world appear before me just by thinking about it. Pizza? Done. New 72" 3D TV? Done. An assortment of beautiful women desperate to sleep with me? Done.

Granted, by the way have you ever seen the end of the Ghostbusters movie?

I wish I could win games of chance whenever I wanted to.

 

[Nordling]

Granted, by the way have you ever seen the end of the Ghostbusters movie?

I wish I could win games of chance whenever I wanted to.

Granted, but life becomes boring because you never have to use your mind to accomplish anything.

I wish people (myself included) would quit using cliches and would attempt to use original thought.

 

[LilyEvans]

Granted, by the way have you ever seen the end of the Ghostbusters movie?

I wish I could win games of chance whenever I wanted to.

Granted, but life becomes boring because you never have to use your mind to accomplish anything.

I wish people (myself included) would quit using cliches and would attempt to use original thought.

Granted, but as a cliche is frequently used in modern culture for an action or idea that is expected or predictable, based on a prior event, it becomes increasingly difficult to convey certain ideas. Most humor is rendered unfunny due to its unrelateability. As stereotypes go by the wayside, it's hard to make decisions based on prior knowledge of a situation.

I wish my air conditioner worked properly

 

[yossarian]

Granted, by the way have you ever seen the end of the Ghostbusters movie?

I wish I could win games of chance whenever I wanted to.

Granted, but life becomes boring because you never have to use your mind to accomplish anything.

I wish people (myself included) would quit using cliches and would attempt to use original thought.

Granted, but as a cliche is frequently used in modern culture for an action or idea that is expected or predictable, based on a prior event, it becomes increasingly difficult to convey certain ideas. Most humor is rendered unfunny due to its unrelateability. As stereotypes go by the wayside, it's hard to make decisions based on prior knowledge of a situation.

I wish my air conditioner worked properly

Granted, but it must be fed a continuous supply of live scorpions in order to work.

I wish I had a pet groundhog.

 

[AnaVictoriaXO]

I wish I had a pet groundhog.

Granted, but its a very special groundhog and every day is the same day over and over :shock:

I wish I had a penis for one day just to see what its like

 

[AllisonWilder]

I wish I had a penis for one day just to see what its like

Granted, but you get it stuck in your zipper after an hour and spend the next 23 hours in the emergency room.


I wish someone would come clean my apartment so I can nap guilt-free.

 

[LilyEvans]

I wish I had a penis for one day just to see what its like

Granted, but you get it stuck in your zipper after an hour and spend the next 23 hours in the emergency room.


I wish someone would come clean my apartment so I can nap guilt-free.

Granted, but it's an overzealous footslave guy you found on Craigslist. He's so eager to please you that after he cleans the house he keeps bothering you about what else he can do to please you, and you can't nap without constantly being woken by a guy poking you whispering, "Mistress....mistress..."

I wish someone would make all my content for me!

 

[southsamurai]

I wish I had a penis for one day just to see what its like

Granted, but you get it stuck in your zipper after an hour and spend the next 23 hours in the emergency room.


I wish someone would come clean my apartment so I can nap guilt-free.

Granted, but it's an overzealous footslave guy you found on Craigslist. He's so eager to please you that after he cleans the house he keeps bothering you about what else he can do to please you, and you can't nap without constantly being woken by a guy poking you whispering, "Mistress....mistress..."

I wish someone would make all my content for me!

granted! but its me that makes it and performs in them and for some reason after you sell the new vids and pics people complain and all of your camming accounts are banned.

i wish for a thousand wishes!

 

[AllisonWilder]

granted! but its me that makes it and performs in them and for some reason after you sell the new vids and pics people complain and all of your camming accounts are banned.

i wish for a thousand wishes!

Granted, but all your wishes have to be related to cheese.


I wish I had a stylist to do my hair and makeup before I get on cam every night.

 

[pg240]

I wish I had a stylist to do my hair and makeup before I get on cam every night.

Granted, but your stylist is Edward Scissorhands, and he just can't get the makeup portion of your wish quite right.

I wish the Fountain of Youth were in my backyard.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I wish I had a stylist to do my hair and makeup before I get on cam every night.

Granted, but your stylist is Edward Scissorhands, and he just can't get the makeup portion of your wish quite right.

I wish the Fountain of Youth were in my backyard.

Granted! Unfortunately it's been outed on reddit and you now have a million creepy redditors in your yard day and night and you don't want to ever leave your house.

I wish my pubes dyed themselves orange.

 

[Evvie]

I wish I had a stylist to do my hair and makeup before I get on cam every night.

Granted, but your stylist is Edward Scissorhands, and he just can't get the makeup portion of your wish quite right.

I wish the Fountain of Youth were in my backyard.

Granted! Unfortunately it's been outed on reddit and you now have a million creepy redditors in your yard day and night and you don't want to ever leave your house.

I wish my pubes dyed themselves orange.

Granted, but it's not so much your pubes as much as it is an imprecise blobby area that covers your groin in magical orange.

I wish I could be a spooky ghost so I can haunt people.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

I wish I could be a spooky ghost so I can haunt people.

Granted. For the rest of your life you become a Comic Book.



I wish I would never get sick again.

 

[jeff98902]

Granted: unfortunately every one around you is always sick all the time making it being around them not fun.


I wish I could breath on land and under water just the same, I would be able to explore the oceans unencumbered.

 

[southsamurai]

Granted: unfortunately every one around you is always sick all the time making it being around them not fun.


I wish I could breath on land and under water just the same, I would be able to explore the oceans unencumbered.

granted! you are now an anabantoid fish (like bettas) alas that you cant survive in high salinity waters like the ocean and die after trying them the first time.

i wish for a lifetime supply of cheese! (999 left!)

 

[BlueViolet]

i wish for a lifetime supply of cheese! (999 left!)

Granted, but you receive it all at once and cannot adequately store the extraordinary amounts of cheeses so they quickly go bad.

I wish that southsamurai not only has to make 999 more wishes about cheese, but all future wishes must make reference to the supercontinent Pangaea in some way.

 

[AllisonWilder]

i wish for a lifetime supply of cheese! (999 left!)

Granted, but you receive it all at once and cannot adequately store the extraordinary amounts of cheeses so they quickly go bad.

I wish that southsamurai not only has to make 999 more wishes about cheese, but all future wishes must make reference to the supercontinent Pangaea in some way.

Granted, but because southsamurai has enough cheese to share the cheese wealth he wishes you to the supercontinent Pangaea with all the bad cheese.



I wish I had a cheeseburger.

 

[Shaun__]

I wish I had a cheeseburger.

Granted, you get the one used for this experiment. Link

A nutritionist in southern Ontario purchased a plain cheeseburger from McDonald's one year ago. What happened a year later? Absolutely nothing. The cheeseburger remained unchanged for 365-plus days.

Waste not, want not.

I wish I had a Unicorn, I always heard women like those.

 

[Gen]

I wish I had a Unicorn, I always heard women like those.

Granted, but it's incredibly violent and chases away any woman who tries to talk to you.

I wish I could pass all my exams without studying.

 

[southsamurai]

granted! alas, since you passed with perfect scores you are accused of cheating and get kicked out.

i wish that a block of cheddar would appear before me in the shape of pangaea (998 ftw!)

 

[bawksy]

Granted, but it's soon stolen by Wallace and Gromit.




I wish I had the power to censor Amber's posts.

 

[AllisonWilder]

I wish I had the power to censor Amber's posts.

Granted, but in return Jawbs starts editing 'like moms spaghetti' into all of your posts.



I wish I could fly.