Cam relationships and real ones

[IsabellaSnow]

You aren't in the model only section. You don't know what you are talking about. It's more active in there.

Agreed. I think some members wouldn't believe just how much everyone supports one another in the MO section. Even when I wasn't camming and was off travelling, when I had difficult times this was the place I came and I got more support than anywhere in my real life. Same as when I got seriously ill, it was advice from this forum which meant I found why I was ill and was able to cure myself. Sure, maybe I'm not close with all models. But if a model had a problem I would be there for her if I could, and as far as I can tell this is something a large amount of models do, and most of the girls on here seem to be looking out for one another. That's pretty much the definition of sisterhood: "an association, society, or community of women linked by a common interest, religion, or trade" So yes, it most definitely is a sisterhood. One that I am proud to have been a part of all these years.

 

[Dan Epstein]

They should, and I'd like to think most members view cam girls as entities that exist in a fantasy realm/virtual environment. I do empathise a little with the guys who get taken for a ride emotionally, financially though. OP is a little different in that he's admitted to cheating on the mother of his child with cam girls he doesn't even respect which makes it all but impossible to find any sympathy for him. But in general, I kinda feel that the blame for the myriad "a cam girl convinced me that she loved me and I believed it so re-mortgaged my house so I could send her enough money get reconstructive surgery for her pet hamster" stories probably shouldn't be placed exclusively on the member, ya know?

But you are miles away, you're an awesome and respected member, and never delved into this, even as a bogus story.

 

[Phoenix4987]

We'll. Hm. I know a few guys who got burnt, but still stick their hand in the fire. Even with the same chick who burnt 'em. Here's my thing:

You say you went to visit someone (a model) in person and spent 2 weekends with them. And they "scammed" 2000 eur from you. Nobody can scam you unless you hand over the $ in the first place and then they can only scam you if they promised something and you didn't get it.

So, since you felt the need to list out in each "relationship" which models gave it up to you and which ones didn't, it seems very obvious you wanted to treat them like an object. How a cam model can scam you for 2000 eur after you spent two weekends, I don't see it as scamming. She charges a rate to even see her online and you went in person. So scamming? Nah. You paid to be there, regardless if things didn't end up in the bedroom or not.


And to be completely honest, how would anyone (camgirl/real) want to be with you. Hey I've got a wife and kid, I wanna divorce my wife for you bb. Come live with me bb. Be my sex slave bb. Cause that's what it sounds like to me.

Yeah, fucking sign me up. So I can lead you on and take your money like any self-respecting woman would.

 

[mynameisbob84]

But you are miles away, you're an awesome and respected member, and never delved into this, even as a bogus story.

Well, thank you, sir. I'm speaking in general and not necessarily about OP's plight, and mainly in response to the "when will guys realise that cam relationships are not real ones?" line of thinking. I don't disagree with it, but in the interest of fairness, it's surely only fair to note that in order for these naive, delusional men to be taken advantage of, there also needs to be someone taking advantage of them.

 

[Dan Epstein]

No suggestion without an auto-suggestion, which makes you even more awesome as respectable member. Agreed @mynameisbob84

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Hopefully, she's shagging someone too.
But frankly I feel more bad for the girl he wanted to divorce her for. Losing time on someone who didn't consider her a person in the first place :/

Agreed, even though "it's just the internet", there's a real person on the other side of the keyboad. Or, in this case, camera.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

I don't really get these types of posts. I think there have been at least half a dozen in the short time I've been here. What do the OPs desire in terms of a reaction? This kind of thing isn't exactly the same as models talking about bad things that have happened to us - our options for work related advice, socializing, and sympathy are really limited. I assume there are plenty of places customers can go to bitch about models.

If this type of thread is just for catharsis, you could write it in your private journal. Are these stories intended to warn others? If so, I feel like reddit would get you a much bigger and more friendly audience. Are they a passive-aggressive swipe at models intending to make us feel shame? Are they looking for the other members to chime in with how awful models are, assuring him that he shouldn't feel bad because this kind of thing happens to everyone? Again, I feel like reddit would be a more likely place to get that reaction (maybe). Are lovesick guys hoping that the models here will comfort them and go out of our way to convince them that not all models are like that (in the process possibly giving the guy a more "worthy" target for his love)? Is it some kind of sneaky advertisement for how great they are, trying to make models find out what made one (or more) of us abandon the standard "no meeting" policy for them? Or is this just the first result that pops up in Google about feeling scammed after ill-advised relationships with cam models?

I'm not being sarcastic; I'd really like to know the point.


On a more fun side query... If there were a forum section just for these threads, what would you call it? I suspect there may be some funny possibilities...

 

[Deleted member 37064]

IAre lovesick guys hoping that the models here will comfort them and go out of our way to convince them that not all models are like that (in the process possibly giving the guy a more "worthy" target for his love)? Is it some kind of sneaky advertisement for how great they are, trying to make models find out what made one (or more) of us abandon the standard "no meeting" policy for them? Or is this just the first result that pops up in Google about feeling scammed after ill-advised relationships with cam models?

I'm not being sarcastic; I'd really like to know the point.

ACF is one of the top hits when it comes to cam model info searches on Google, etc. So, maybe a combination of both? I dunno.

On a more fun side query... If there were a forum section just for these threads, what would you call it? I suspect there may be some funny possibilities...

"It's Just a Fantasy..." (Sung to Billy Joel's song)

 

[Phoenix4987]

"It started out as a pm, how did it end up like this"

 

[marvelb0y]

There's no "TL;DR" to the original post. Here is one for you...

TL;DR
"I'm a narcissistic idiot, who treats others like shit"

You've a wife, you've a child, and yet you're chasing skirt because it massages your fragile, needy, ego. You're just an idiot.

Apologies, I'm wrong.

You're a selfish idiot. Grow the fuck up.

See it almost feel like if I structured my OP more like the other ones of the same vein, where I asked the community on whether she loved me, it would have been received better. The fact that I'm not asking for anything in particular bothers a lot of you. Well this is my life. I'm sorry the ending to the story wasn't to your satisfaction.

Let's recap:
You're an idiot. You gotten taken advantage of and you didn't even know it. A sucker like you is born everyday. Got it, got it, got it.

Your wife deserves better. You're a horrible father. Ditto. I'm trying to do better in both.

I guess it would be more satisfying if I said I was in financial ruin but I'm not. I'm in the top 5% and so is my wife. I suppose if I had less money, I wouldn't have done a lot of this. More money more problems.

One of the girls I mentioned is now working in a McDonalds in Germany. She has a boyfriend now. I hope she is happy.

The last girl is doing super well on MFC. Go support her, she deserves all your love and I have no ill will towards her.

 

[Gen]

Your wife deserves better. You're a horrible father. Ditto. I'm trying to do better in both.

I don't know what you wanted with your original post, but if you're trying to be better and camgirls have historically been a source of temptation and a thorn in your marriage, why hang out here? Even if you're not visiting models from here, it still seems a little maladaptive and not a step towards your goals. Just my thoughts.

 

[Phoenix4987]

See it almost feel like if I structured my OP more like the other ones of the same vein, where I asked the community on whether she loved me, it would have been received better. The fact that I'm not asking for anything in particular bothers a lot of you. Well this is my life. I'm sorry the ending to the story wasn't to your satisfaction.

Let's recap:
You're an idiot. You gotten taken advantage of and you didn't even know it. A sucker like you is born everyday. Got it, got it, got it.

Your wife deserves better. You're a horrible father. Ditto. I'm trying to do better in both.

I guess it would be more satisfying if I said I was in financial ruin but I'm not. I'm in the top 5% and so is my wife. I suppose if I had less money, I wouldn't have done a lot of this. More money more problems.

One of the girls I mentioned is now working in a McDonalds in Germany. She has a boyfriend now. I hope she is happy.

The last girl is doing super well on MFC. Go support her, she deserves all your love and I have no ill will towards her.

TL; DR: I have money and use it to try to manipulate / control others. I think one of the girls is worse off without me, I'm glad. The other girl doesn't need me and it kind of bothers me. I don't like when I don't get what I want.

 

[AudriTwo]

One of the girls I mentioned is now working in a McDonalds in Germany. She has a boyfriend now. I hope she is happy.

God damn poor people.

 

[Phoenix4987]

God damn poor people.

Hope that broke bitch is fucking happy. She turned down ME, MR TOP 5%, NOBODY DOES THAT! /narcissistic rage

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[Just_A_Guy]

If you want to be a good father and better husband why aren't you with your wife and daughter right now?
I'd like to add, Mr top 5%, that really successful people have very little time to fall in love with a romanian cam model. Ofc love has its mysterious way but your post it's totally a nonsense to me.

 

[WiddlePuppy]

Honestly, you sound wishy washy as hell and like a loser. You have a wife and child and you were ready to get a divorce to be with someone you met with three times? Grow the fuck up.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

Look the guy knows he has done wrong and if he is sincere in his wish to better him self there is no point in keeping on berating him for his previous wrong doings. Ganging upon him and bullying him on an internet forum because he is privileged and don't understand what being poor is like is not going to make the world a better place and the poor people less poor. I have been "crap we might lose our home" poor and I don't particularly like the guy for saying something as stupid as "more money more problems". However I think that we should leave him be and let him have another chance. He is just another random guy on the internet that we don't really know anything about so why waste time and energy on this? As far as I know he hasn't hurt anyone of us on this forum physically, emotionally or financially, so it is up to his wife and kid to judge him for what he is.

 

[Phoenix4987]

When you make a public post on the internet, you are subject to any thoughts or comments that may follow. That is how the internet works. Should you wish to shelter yourself from any criticisms, do not make a post on a forum. Seems like he wanted some attention so we gave him some.

Hell I think everyone has stuff they don't want other people to discuss or other people to find out about. But if someone willingly puts it out there, it's game on.

 

[NoelleBright]

So in your original post you say you "do okay but aren't rich", but now you're suddenly in the top 5%.
Which is it?

You can't even keep your own story straight.

 

[SaffronBurke]

So in your original post you say you "do okay but aren't rich", but now you're suddenly in the top 5%.
Which is it?

You can't even keep your own story straight.

Maybe he doesn't think that top 5% is rich. After all, we have a president who received a "small loan" of $1mil. Perspective, yo.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

When you make a public post on the internet, you are subject to any thoughts or comments that may follow. That is how the internet works. Should you wish to shelter yourself from any criticisms, do not make a post on a forum. Seems like he wanted some attention so we gave him some.

Perhaps but to me it seems like the tone was getting unnecessarily harsh. There is good criticism which is constructive and there is bad criticism which does not add anything positive to a discussion. I have been on the internet for almost 20 years at this point so I know how the internet works. I have also made some less than kind replies to people that I have disagreed with one of which I did when I was 15 that I regret today. I don't regret it because I received any consequences for it and I don't think I ever will. The reason I regret it is because I was being a bully and a dick. I have no idea if he even cared about what I wrote but I do know that I don't want to be a dick to people.

So in your original post you say you "do okay but aren't rich", but now you're suddenly in the top 5%.
Which is it?

You can't even keep your own story straight.

If he means on a global scale it does not take much to be in the top 5% I would even dare to guess that a large majority of the people here on this forum are at least in the top 10%. It is not because we are a bunch of rich people but because so many people live in extreme poverty.

 

[Phoenix4987]

I don't think anyone used profanity even if they all had plenty of right to do so. Harsh? Nah. Intellectual? Certainly.

 

[NoelleBright]

If he means on a global scale it does not take much to be in the top 5% I would even dare to guess that a large majority of the people here on this forum are at least in the top 10%. It is not because we are a bunch of rich people but because so many people live in extreme poverty.

By the way he's bragging "more money more problems", I don't think he's talking globally.

This is guy is just coming on the internet and telling lies, it's all a load of crap. This joker really wants us to believe he had relationships with what, 4 camgirls? Cut me a break.

 

[RogueWarrior]

I only read the OP, if anyone has addressed this, I apologize. Going full rant mode now.

First of all, your wife must be a saint if you are still married. I have a wife. I go on camsites. I don't go on transcontental excursions to meet women.

And screw you. If you know anything about world economics, Romania is not doing well. If they see an easy mark, they're gonna hit it. That's on you. Some of my favorite models are Romanian and I have yet to be scammed. Not saying they wouldn't, but that's on the member for being stupid.

Your entire post reeks of immaturity and stupidity. If i can impart one nugget of wisdom: Camsites are not dating sites.

 

[Smores]

As is often the case, these stories are told when it's over and my case is no different. I'm not going to pretend this is anything but catharsis at this point but if you're at all curious, feel free to read through my long story.

It feels like your post was really just a kind of journaling exercise. It was intended to get your feelings out on paper so that you could begin to heal. And people here are being harsh on you, and I am sure that hurts. But I would like to make some constructive comments to you, and I hope you can bring up some of these issues with a therapist. I say this because the problems you have here go way way beyond having lost someone you thought you loved, and you are acting out a pattern of behavior that is likely to repeat - with the same unhappy ending over and over - unless you confront it with greater honesty.

After these two and another one who I luckily didn't meet, I learned my lesson and decided to focus on real relationships with women around me. And I found someone in 2007 and I married her four years later. We have a kid now, she is three and a half. My daughter is the most beautiful amazing thing and I was so in love with her that I would do anything for her.

But my marriage was rocky. A year before she was born, in 2012, I had separated from my wife and I started going on cam sites again. I met another Romanian cam model, this one much younger than the rest. She was only 22 at the time. From 2005 to 2012, things have dramatically changed on cam sites I noticed. The women were far younger and hotter. Maybe because of the economy or maybe because of the maturity of the industry, young, attractive and intelligent women started working on cam sites like never before.This particular girl went to medical school. She looked like she could have just walked off a magazine. We met twice in 2013, once in Amsterdam and once in Bucharest. She turned heads where ever we went. We had a great fling but neither of us were committed or honest. My wife was already pregnant back home and this model was seeing another American guy.

The first problem you need to confront is that you are not being honest - with us and probably with yourself - about the nature of the relationship with your wife. You start out above by saying "...my marriage was rocky." That is apparently to justify your behavior in looking for outside relationships. But by the end of the paragraph you say "My wife was already pregnant back home...." This completely undoes your initial thesis and shows that you are simply cheating on your wife in a way that is completely dishonest. If the relationship was failing, the right way to address that is to get a separation, and to also have a clear agreement with the other person that each of you is free to see other people. That's not your case I am guessing? It appears to me that what you were doing is using your wife as your emotional baseline relationship - draining her for both emotional and sexual comfort - and then you were going outside your relationship looking for a "relationship upgrade" from other people.

Aside from the fact that this makes you look dishonest, try to understand how your wife must feel throughout this ordeal. She is pregnant with your child and wants to have some kind of relationship with you. She has to take care of this child while you are out playing in the world looking for her upgrade? I think there is no amount of window-dressing you can do here to make your behavior look right. You cannot use another person as your baseline and then go cheat on them to find something better.

The second problem is you clearly have some kind of love addiction. You like falling in love with idealized people. The moment that reality strikes and the relationship stops being ideal, you run. In all of these relationships, you could have tested for the things that separated you from the person well in advance of ever meeting them. But you didn't do that because you weren't actually interested in a real relationship. You were chasing the fantasy. In your mind, you want a real relationship. But real relationships involve lots of imperfect fits. You have to work with the person to figure out ways to make it all work. That is not something you enjoy doing. Rather that confronting this harsh reality, you keep acting out a pattern of chasing the ideal fantasy.

We are not going to fix this on an Internet forum. And I suspect that you have rationalized all of this a dozen times over. You should look hard at the harshness of all of these replies, and maybe this can be turned into a good thing and be a wakeup call to you that you and your wife need to be in therapy to address these issues. Happiness is not waiting for you in the next webcam girl that you idealize and fall in love with. You need to work with a therapist and see if you are able to reset your concept of what a relationship is. And maybe you will need to work with that therapist to understand can you be happy in a world where you have a more correct concept of what relationships are.

 

[Phoenix4987]

And screw you. If you know anything about world economics, Romania is not doing well.

It seems a little pretentious to me whenever a non-native resident makes claims like this. I don't pretend to know the situation, but a quick google search indicated they have a pretty good economy, being named EU's fastest growing economy as of August this year.

There seems to be a little bit of controversy as to the reasons of the growth and whether it can be sustainable, etc. But that's a huge difference from "not doing well."

Some of my favorite models are Romanian and I have yet to be scammed. Not saying they wouldn't.

Doesn't sound like you have much respect for them. Refrain from posting ignorant shit in the future, kk? Thanks.


Some of my favorite models are American, Russian, German, Colombian, Romanian, Canadian individuals and it doesn't matter what country they came from.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Some of my favorite models are American, Russian, German, Colombian, Romanian, Canadian individuals and it doesn't matter what country they came from.

Exactly.

 

[AudriTwo]

When I hear a guy is going to another country and leaving his pregnant wife behind so he can bang sex workers, I have zero sympathy.

When I see a guy looking down on someone because to moved to low income service job, I think they are an asshole. Also how the fuck does he know that? And why was it necessary to tell us? That we had to know how low she is now without OP's money.

Also him telling models that we need to be like the girls he visits to make on their level. Lol okay buddy. I have very wealthy customers and I don't have to love-con them to keep them around or to spend on me. That is a weak and manipulative hustle.

 

[Pure_emotion]

It seems a little pretentious to me whenever a non-native resident makes claims like this. I don't pretend to know the situation, but a quick google search indicated they have a pretty good economy, being named EU's fastest growing economy as of August this year.

Where did you read this? I'm in Romania and damn i see no growth here yet lol. I wanna see that source you quoted , really curious about that. Pretty please.