Cam model addiction

[Ozzie_]

but that she "loved me so much". Obviously that complicates things

It's a basic thing, but exactly what did she say in Spanish?

"Te quiero mucho" or "Te amo mucho"

One is said between close friends the other; family and lovers. And depending on her level of English if she is translating to and writing in English, she may be unaware of the difference (in English).

My Model friend, in the earliyish days of our friendship, one day told me "I love you". She was not a new model back then and she had what I thought was reasonable "cam model" English so I was quite taken aback.

To say such things was not (and is not) her style. She is not a "Oh baby I looove you!!!!" type of model at all, unless she is deliberately hamming it up and then she almost rolls on the floor with laughter afterwards. I responded in a very guarded manner saying I enjoyed her company also. She then typed "no, I want you" (the literal translation of te quiero). At which point I suspected there was a translation issue and I asked if she realised what she had said, as in English "I want you" tends to have very sexual overtones.

She then explained the two different versions of "I love you" in Spanish. (Whether it is more prevalent in Latin America I do not know) This put us both at ease and also gave me a phrase that I could use to express my feelings of friendship towards her.

 

[misterical]

It's a basic thing, but exactly what did she say in Spanish?

"Te quiero mucho" or "Te amo mucho"

One is said between close friends the other; family and lovers. And depending on her level of English if she is translating to and writing in English, she may be unaware of the difference (in English).

My Model friend, in the earliyish days of our friendship, one day told me "I love you". She was not a new model back then and she had what I thought was reasonable "cam model" English so I was quite taken aback.

To say such things was not (and is not) her style. She is not a "Oh baby I looove you!!!!" type of model at all, unless she is deliberately hamming it up and then she almost rolls on the floor with laughter afterwards. I responded in a very guarded manner saying I enjoyed her company also. She then typed "no, I want you" (the literal translation of te quiero). At which point I suspected there was a translation issue and I asked if she realised what she had said, as in English "I want you" tends to have very sexual overtones.

She then explained the two different versions of "I love you" in Spanish. (Whether it is more prevalent in Latin America I do not know) This put us both at ease and also gave me a phrase that I could use to express my feelings of friendship towards her.

I don't know what the Spanish was. I only see the English translation. She's told me in the past that she's fallen in love with me though so I'm assuming she's meaning it in the same context. Either way makes no difference to me because this is not a relationship that is ever going to become in person romantic. It may however make a significant difference for her. I don't know. I was happy just being the sympathetic ear and this makes things a bit more complicated.

 

[inertvolcano]

From my perspective it's made things simpler. You used to be worried she was too attached to you. Seems like now she's over that and is even setting some soft boundaries with you. Take a break from her room and visit some other models, or take a break from cam sites completely for a little bit.

 

[misterical]

From my perspective it's made things simpler. You used to be worried she was too attached to you. Seems like now she's over that and is even setting some soft boundaries with you. Take a break from her room and visit some other models, or take a break from cam sites completely for a little bit.

Normal service resumed, although just a 10 minute chat which is fine given the time difference. As if my life wasn't complicated enough, I've had a message tonight from another model who I once talked to about Dungeons & Dragons and who wants advice on becoming a Dungeon Master. Who'd have thought that you could be discussing Role Playing Games and Dungeon Masters on a cam site and they'd actually not be what they sound like?

I think maybe I've just got one of those faces....

 

[Originalrobski]

I had a massive addiction to camsites around 8-9 years ago. It was a time when i had more time to myself, away from the kids and a wife who has no sex drive (still doesnt but we have a understanding about it now), and was mildly depressed. Buying tokens on credit cards, it was becoming easier to view these sites on mobile phones, computers/laptops were getting cheaper and cheaper, so there was always a option of being able to get on site. In the end, i just had to cut all use. Once i made that decision i never visited a site for over 3 years. Thankfully my mindset is alot stronger now so i am in control but its a very slippery slope, and for some people who are as strong willed (i.e. stubborn) as i can be..... it can be life wrecking

 

[misterical]

I had a massive addiction to camsites around 8-9 years ago. It was a time when i had more time to myself, away from the kids and a wife who has no sex drive (still doesnt but we have a understanding about it now), and was mildly depressed. Buying tokens on credit cards, it was becoming easier to view these sites on mobile phones, computers/laptops were getting cheaper and cheaper, so there was always a option of being able to get on site. In the end, i just had to cut all use. Once i made that decision i never visited a site for over 3 years. Thankfully my mindset is alot stronger now so i am in control but its a very slippery slope, and for some people who are as strong willed (i.e. stubborn) as i can be..... it can be life wrecking

I think that certain camsites are worse than others for overspending. Sites where you have to buy credits or tokens in bulk are much less risky in my opinion. For me, having to stop and enter my credit card details in LiveJasmin (I always delete my payment details after adding credits) is usually enough to snap me out of it for a second and make me think about things. Sites like Streamate with a more "pay as you go" approach are like crack cocaine. Dangerous.

 

[misterical]

By way of an update to this thread. The model and I are rocking along nicely now. Nobody is declaring love for each other and we riff off each other nicely. Probably one of the most positive experiences I've ever had on a camsite, despite the somewhat stressful beginnings. It would be interesting to know if other models have had a similar (I'm reluctant to call it platonic, but I'm not quite sure what to call it) connection with a user. It's definitely something that's driven from her end still but I'm happy to go along with it now. People would laugh at me if they knew I visited cam sites and just chatted shit with the model about our respective days.

 

[misterical]

Although we had a bit of an awkward moment yesterday when the little head won the argument with the big head and I jumped into a pvt she was having

 

[ArcticKitty]

...People would laugh at me if they knew I visited cam sites and just chatted shit with the model about our respective days.

Why would people laugh at that?

 

[Omne35]

Why would people laugh at that?

Stereotyping.

 

[Finchomatic]

The addiction and or novelty wears off eventually. Especially when you look at the past 10 years of credit card statements.

 

[Smoothie]

The addiction and or novelty wears off eventually. Especially when you look at the past 10 years of credit card statements.

Oh yeah. And it can also wear off when your most favorite models go away.

My favorite is about 2 weeks into a possibly permanent break from camming. And I’m already noticing how fast my expendable income reserve has grown. I’m still browsing different models and tipping here and there. But I’m at a point where unless my favorite returns or I happen to stumble upon a model I like just as much, I could see myself repurposing most of that cash into a different hobby.

 

[misterical]

Why would people laugh at that?

Probably because people who don't visit cam sites don't fully understand the main attraction of them. They just assume that it's the same as porn when in fact the main attraction is really the human connection. I find cam sites to be one of the very few places left on the internet where people on the whole still communicate in a civil manner. I visit this model and talk to her because it's something we both enjoy immensely. I'm very fond of her and she seems fond of me too. We're both realists and we know exactly what the platform is for and what it's not for but it's impossible not to develop an interest in someone's life and well-being when you speak to them regularly. I think it can be very hard for people to understand that you can visit a sex site and it not necessarily be about sex. As long a neither of us get any silly notions or back tattoos then where's the harm? Like all things it will die it's own natural death in time no doubt.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Probably because people who don't visit cam sites don't fully understand the main attraction of them. They just assume that it's the same as porn when in fact the main attraction is really the human connection. I find cam sites to be one of the very few places left on the internet where people on the whole still communicate in a civil manner. I visit this model and talk to her because it's something we both enjoy immensely. I'm very fond of her and she seems fond of me too. We're both realists and we know exactly what the platform is for and what it's not for but it's impossible not to develop an interest in someone's life and well-being when you speak to them regularly. I think it can be very hard for people to understand that you can visit a sex site and it not necessarily be about sex. As long a neither of us get any silly notions or back tattoos then where's the harm? Like all things it will die it's own natural death in time no doubt.

Oh, that makes sense. Until recently, I didn't know anything about adult cam and figured it was like strip shows.

 

[MarieElise]

Oh yeah I get little attachments w Regs all the time. It's just not in a monogomously sexual or "meet up and get married" kind of a way. But I feel like it's normal to start caring about people, especially once you get to know their personalities, learn a little about their lives. It's nice. If both people have it in perspective then I don't see a problem w it. Honestly if it weren't for my regs I wouldn't be able to enjoy half the stuff I enjoy in life, I'd still be stuck working 80 hours a week for salary in healthcare, and racing toward an early grave (ironically). So in that context, I'm sure you can understand, the feeling often goes both ways. I wouldn't call that a crush or anything weird though, to me that's just normall attachment/ being human/ a social animal w a heart.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I totally get it. What I like about MFC is that you can find a friendly room. I can flirt with someone who is curvy and in her 30s and/or join a conversation about all kinds of things. I've even had conversations about art and literature. And sometimes we do share things about our lives and I am interested and do care.


(The someone who is curvy and in her 30s is just an example though I would be attracted.)

 

[MarieElise]

I've even had conversations about art and literature.

Lol count yourself lucky they were likely in a language you could clearly understand, and nobody involved felt the need to get insanely extra and LARP a French brain surgeon or anything like that

 

[misterical]

Oh yeah I get little attachments w Regs all the time. It's just not in a monogomously sexual or "meet up and get married" kind of a way. But I feel like it's normal to start caring about people, especially once you get to know their personalities, learn a little about their lives. It's nice. If both people have it in perspective then I don't see a problem w it. Honestly if it weren't for my regs I wouldn't be able to enjoy half the stuff I enjoy in life, I'd still be stuck working 80 hours a week for salary in healthcare, and racing toward an early grave (ironically). So in that context, I'm sure you can understand, the feeling often goes both ways. I wouldn't call that a crush or anything weird though, to me that's just normall attachment/ being human/ a social animal w a heart.

Yeah, it's impossible not to be human in these situations. If she's not online for a few days or looks a bit tired or down then obviously I'm going to be concerned and check she is ok. It's just basic human interaction. This model has also introduced me to her housemates who both work in the same studio and that adds another layer of intimate knowledge about her life. I've chatted away with them too. This however has introduced another potential minefield area. I mean, what is the etiquette when it comes to tipping them or taking them pvt? I made a light hearted joke about it a few weeks ago that went down like a fart in an elevator .

 

[MarieElise]

Yeah, it's impossible not to be human in these situations. If she's not online for a few days or looks a bit tired or down then obviously I'm going to be concerned and check she is ok. It's just basic human interaction.

Honestly, as a model, I really like this, because if you get too many of the other types of users who are either too quiet/ too stoic/ genuinely don't give a single shit at all, you start to feel kind of dehumanized, and like a sex robot.

This model has also introduced me to her housemates who both work in the same studio and that adds another layer of intimate knowledge about her life. I've chatted away with them too. This however has introduced another potential minefield area. I mean, what is the etiquette when it comes to tipping them or taking them pvt? I made a light hearted joke about it a few weeks ago that went down like a fart in an elevator .

Oh man, I would be real careful with that one too. There's no telling. I've read of other situations on here, where the guy has been introduced to other models in a studio, then visited them, and been cold-shouldered by the original model. Total minefield. I agree.

 

[inertvolcano]

Yeah, my favorite model has specifically told me the user names of a couple other models she knows IRL so that I won't visit them. They're her friends, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of us possibly talking about her, or me developing a relationship with them.

 

[misterical]

Honestly, as a model, I really like this, because if you get too many of the other types of users who are either too quiet/ too stoic/ genuinely don't give a single shit at all, you start to feel kind of dehumanized, and like a sex robot.

Oh man, I would be real careful with that one too. There's no telling. I've read of other situations on here, where the guy has been introduced to other models in a studio, then visited them, and been cold-shouldered by the original model. Total minefield. I agree.

Yeah, I've steered clear beyond popping in to say hello. They also make a fairly strong point of asking me about my model friend as soon as I enter their room as well, which I assume is a less than subtle warning on their part.

It seems like a small studio where they are in and out of each others rooms quite often as well. Often one of the housemates is chatting in the background in the room when I'm in my model friend's room and it's acknowledged and "hello" messages are passed back and forward so it's all pretty relaxed. To me it would just feel like both a commercial and emotional betrayal.

 

[misterical]

Honestly, as a model, I really like this, because if you get too many of the other types of users who are either too quiet/ too stoic/ genuinely don't give a single shit at all, you start to feel kind of dehumanized, and like a sex robot.

It's been great to get a model's perspective on this. It's difficult not to worry that models might think you're one of those weirdos that just gets off on chat or who just freeloads. I'm more than happy to go pvt with her but she's been really awkward about it in the past. I plan to approach it again later but I'll respect her wishes either way. I get way more out of the existing interaction than I would taking her private and listening to her moan and play with a dildo. I think both of us are very aware that if our friendship develops into a more traditional model/customer relationship then that might bring it's own set of problems that could ruin the current dynamic.

 

[MarieElise]

It's been great to get a model's perspective on this. It's difficult not to worry that models might think you're one of those weirdos that just gets off on chat or who just freeloads. I'm more than happy to go pvt with her but she's been really awkward about it in the past. I plan to approach it again later but I'll respect her wishes either way. I get way more out of the existing interaction than I would taking her private and listening to her moan and play with a dildo. I think both of us are very aware that if our friendship develops into a more traditional model/customer relationship then that might bring it's own set of problems that could ruin the current dynamic.

That makes sense. I think if you're just showing through your words that you're being a kind person, it should be clear to her (hopefully). Overall electronic communication is difficult though, because tones, inflections and facial expressions are missed. You appear to be a good and clear communicator though, so I don't think she'll misunderstand.

 

[misterical]

That makes sense. I think if you're just showing through your words that you're being a kind person, it should be clear to her (hopefully). Overall electronic communication is difficult though, because tones, inflections and facial expressions are missed. You appear to be a good and clear communicator though, so I don't think she'll misunderstand.

That's very kind of you to say so.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Lol count yourself lucky they were likely in a language you could clearly understand, and nobody involved felt the need to get insanely extra and LARP a French brain surgeon or anything like that

It gets even better - she's 420 friendly

 

[bbc003]

That makes sense. I think if you're just showing through your words that you're being a kind person, it should be clear to her (hopefully). Overall electronic communication is difficult though, because tones, inflections and facial expressions are missed. You appear to be a good and clear communicator though, so I don't think she'll misunderstand.

Absolutely. Communication IRL is difficult enough for many people, let alone losing the visual and audio cues in online communication....

 

[misterical]

Absolutely. Communication IRL is difficult enough for many people, let alone losing the visual and audio cues in online communication....

And the fact that we speak different languages although I have been making an effort to pick up some Spanish to ease that issue.

 

[MarieElise]

Incidentally, I didn't spend any significant money on her. One 10 minute private in weeks. She was really weird about the idea of going pvt with me. It was like she thought she was in a relationship and me taking her pvt so soon would be weird. Thoroughly atypical cam-model interaction all round.

I'm slowly and methodically making my way through this thread. I'm just reading your posts, so as not to be influenced by others, until I've come to my own opinion. One thing I'm wondering right off the bat is; do you know if she is relatively new to camming or if she's been doing this a while? On jerkmate, you should be able to tell from her profile, review dates, nu,ber of tags etc whether it's relatively new, or she's been at it a while.

This info would be very relevant for me to come to an opinion here.

 

[misterical]

I'm slowly and methodically making my way through this thread. I'm just reading your posts, so as not to be influenced by others, until I've come to my own opinion. One thing I'm wondering right off the bat is; do you know if she is relatively new to camming or if she's been doing this a while? On jerkmate, you should be able to tell from her profile, review dates, nu,ber of tags etc whether it's relatively new, or she's been at it a while.

This info would be very relevant for me to come to an opinion here.

I think she's relatively new. March I think.

 

[MarieElise]

I think she's relatively new. March I think.

Sidenote; Jerkmate is a streamate affiliate, one of the biggest, so it's basically streamate. White label they call it, or black label, or pink label... some color of label, which basically means streamate affiliate.

At no point did she ever try to take the conversation outside of the platform which to me indicates that her main concern was that I was in her room, not just that she was communicating with me.

Streamate is very strict about models not doing this, models who do do it, are often caught and face repercussions, which can culminate to account closure. So that doesn't surprise me at all. SM is not like a lot of the other sites, in that regard. They are very strict about this specific thing.

She already had a picture of me (hand drawn) in her room and referred to me to other users as her "future husband" so probably a bullet dodged