Advice regarding contact with a model

[BestTimeofMyLife]

Hello all, very nice to meet you here. I hope I may ask you for some advice on close, personal contact with a model.

I have read a lot on this forum about scam stories and the unlikeliness of successfully dating models. I'm not in that phase yet, and as I want to remain as skeptical as possible I want to ask for advice in an early stage.

We are actually talking about a Latin male model. He is still young and an unexperienced model (only working since 1 or 2 months). He works for a studio. His room only attracts a few viewers (about 20) every evening, the first time I actually entered the room was by a misclick haha.
So we're not talking about a very experienced (female) model, which is different from most stories I've read here.

I visited his room a few times and we started talking more and more. We shared more and more personal details, had a lot of fun and laughs in the chat, and often there's not even tipping involved.
He says he's falling for my character, for being so gentle and careful and he wants to be my boyfriend, even though I'm about 10 years older.

He also was able to lead me to his personal social media accounts (outside of the company monitored social media pages with a fake name) where we now mostly communicate. I try to be as skeptical as possible, but I have to admit I'm pretty sure I am connected to his real accounts and know his real name. In my experience this does not happen very often, especially not with Latin models

I am developing more and more feelings for him too. He seems very genuine, I can't find any remarkable things in his stories or behaviour so far. He answers every question I ask him in a good way. But I want to remain skeptical before emotions take over and suddenly I've gotten myself into a dating situation which I would later regret. So far I haven't sent any money outside of the camsite, only tips on the camsite.

Do you have any advice on how to proceed with this? Things I could discuss with him to check out how genuine the situation really is? Questions I could ask to check whether the whole thing is a directed script from the studio he works in?

Thank you so much in advance for your time and support!

 

[MallorieReese]

I am very sceptical when it comes to models working with a studio. The studio controls his whole online activity, so I don't get how he was able to get away with giving his personal social media accounts. If I would be in your shoes, I would take everything - from what he says to the way he behaves - with a pinch of salt. Give it a shot if you feel like it, but don't invest too many feelings into this relationship.

Btw, I didn't get the whole "we are not talking about a very experienced female model, which is different from most stories I've read here". What's the gender and level of experience have to do with it? Lol.

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

Thank you so much for your reply MallorieReese.

He sent me a tiktok clip on the studio controlled IG account. In the clip the name of his personal tiktok account was visible. We started to connect there and he removed the clip.
He did this so carefully that it felt he was taking a risk for me. That seems genuine, but you never know right?

I understand what you're saying regarding my remark about gender and experience. The gender absolutely doesn't make a difference, I was only referring to the experience. I have spoken to models who were more experienced and I could feel with every step they exactly know what they are doing. In this example of a more unexperienced model the chats are different in a way I feel he sometimes says things he's not supposed to say on CB (for example things about how the studio works, how they treat him there, things about his personal life etc.). But maybe I'm very wrong about that, I guess all studio models are extremely trained/drilled before they start their first broadcasts.

 

[andreaStrip]

Is it possible to watch the tik tok video?

Thank you so much for your reply MallorieReese.

He sent me a tiktok clip on the studio controlled IG account. In the clip the name of his personal tiktok account was visible. We started to connect there and he removed the clip.
He did this so carefully that it felt he was taking a risk for me. That seems genuine, but you never know right?

I understand what you're saying regarding my remark about gender and experience. The gender absolutely doesn't make a difference, I was only referring to the experience. I have spoken to models who were more experienced and I could feel with every step they exactly know what they are doing. In this example of a more unexperienced model the chats are different in a way I feel he sometimes says things he's not supposed to say on CB (for example things about how the studio works, how they treat him there, things about his personal life etc.). But maybe I'm very wrong about that, I guess all studio models are extremely trained/drilled before they start their first broadcasts.

 

[MarieElise]

I only read the first sentence.

Based upon that, this is all I have to say; "No, don't do it. No way. Run Dude, while you still can. Just run."

ETA; Send him a brief message saying; "Gotta Dip Dude. Thanks for your time, was nice knowing you, and having the chance to meet you. I'll always have fond memories of you and the time we spent together. Rock on. Bye."

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

Is it possible to watch the tik tok video?

Do you mean you would like to see the actual video? I won't share that. Or did I misunderstand your message?

 

[yummybrownfox]

Is it possible to watch the tik tok video?

No, the OP should not post that video here, because it's not for our eyes to see.

 

[Omne35]

Hello all, very nice to meet you here. I hope I may ask you for some advice on close, personal contact with a model.

What I have found to be best is to set a boundary and keep to it. For example there is a model I really like and spend time in her room. If she gave me her social media information I wouldn't access it as much as I might like to. We lightly joke about being together sometimes but I'm always clear it's not serious. It takes the anxiety out of the whole thing and it stays fun. Do I sometimes have to remind myself about my limits? Sure, but it's a line I won't cross.

No matter how much information we share I'm still dealing with a persona not the real person. I think I know her but it's shallow compared to getting to know someone irl. If she were here and it was just a matter of asking for a date, absolutely. Making a major commitment like traveling there, no.
Just my opinion.

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

What I have found to be best is to set a boundary and keep to it. For example there is a model I really like and spend time in her room. If she gave me her social media information I wouldn't access it as much as I might like to. We lightly joke about being together sometimes but I'm always clear it's not serious. It takes the anxiety out of the whole thing and it stays fun. Do I sometimes have to remind myself about my limits? Sure, but it's a line I won't cross.

No matter how much information we share I'm still dealing with a persona not the real person. I think I know her but it's shallow compared to getting to know someone irl. If she were here and it was just a matter of asking for a date, absolutely. Making a major commitment like traveling there, no.
Just my opinion.

Thanks a lot. This really helps me. I thought about the same thing, but you have found the right words for me.

Right now it's light, it's fun. Keep it like that, keep some distance and don't make major commitments which you can regret later.

I think that should work, thanks again

 

[Danigirl]

Is it possible to watch the tik tok video?

Why, so you can see what could be someone's actual information!? GTFOH.

OP, anyone who is so cavalier about giving out personal information can also be cavalier about giving out your personal information. If he's newer and younger he may not have the maturity level to understand why what he's doing is a terrible idea. He could lose his place at the studio and his income. He could even be gathering your personal information for some nefarious reasons if you've contacted him with your actual social media accounts with your real name. There's a reason this sort of job is a fantasy. It should stay a fantasy.

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

Why, so you can see what could be someone's actual information!? GTFOH.

OP, anyone who is so cavalier about giving out personal information can also be cavalier about giving out your personal information. If he's newer and younger he may not have the maturity level to understand why what he's doing is a terrible idea. He could lose his place at the studio and his income. He could even be gathering your personal information for some nefarious reasons if you've contacted him with your actual social media accounts with your real name. There's a reason this sort of job is a fantasy. It should stay a fantasy.

Yes you're absolutely right. I am very cautious with my privacy anyways, I only use some 'empty' social media accounts to be able to interact with people. The accounts contain no personal information, photos or posts.
I would rather meet somebody irl then giving out my real name. And even a future meeting would be highly unlikely.

So besides some pictures and stories, he knows nothing personal about me. And I will keep it like that, no need to take risks with it

Thanks for your feedback!

 

[CheeseMoon]

I only use some 'empty' social media accounts to be able to interact with people.

That's risky too. Social media platforms connect people and information in the strangest of ways, and if nobody else finds you out the platform will.

Personally I have zero interaction with my goto models outside of the camming platform, and I ritually and habitually turn down the occasional offers of WhatsApp, Snapchat, IG and whatever else. I just can't be arsed having a multitude of accounts to stay "anonymous", because I have no real need to have cam models follow me into non cam time and vice versa. If you haven't yet been asked "So when are you coming to Colombia love?", it's only a matter of time (and some tokens) before you will.

I'm with @Omne35 here; set some ground rules and follow them. Transactional relationships can bite you really hard if you blur the lines, as evidenced by the dozens of threads here by guys fucking them up (the lines, that is).

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

That's risky too. Social media platforms connect people and information in the strangest of ways, and if nobody else finds you out the platform will.

Personally I have zero interaction with my goto models outside of the camming platform, and I ritually and habitually turn down the occasional offers of WhatsApp, Snapchat, IG and whatever else. I just can't be arsed having a multitude of accounts to stay "anonymous", because I have no real need to have cam models follow me into non cam time and vice versa. If you haven't yet been asked "So when are you coming to Colombia love?", it's only a matter of time (and some tokens) before you will.

I'm with @Omne35 here; set some ground rules and follow them. Transactional relationships can bite you really hard if you blur the lines, as evidenced by the dozens of threads here by guys fucking them up (the lines, that is).

Thanks so much for your input, I will definitely keep this in mind.

 

[AudriTwo]

That's risky too. Social media platforms connect people and information in the strangest of ways, and if nobody else finds you out the platform will.

this. my husband's porn twitter somehow followed/suggested my rl friends. they knew what i do, and that wasnt a problem. it was creepy and intrusive.

recently there was a post about a user seeing hois goto model's RL instagram suggested. the same will happen in reverse. when i was active more on social media i was suggested regular dude profiles i didnt have any contact with quite often.

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

this. my husband's porn twitter somehow followed/suggested my rl friends. they knew what i do, and that wasnt a problem. it was creepy and intrusive.

recently there was a post about a user seeing hois goto model's RL instagram suggested. the same will happen in reverse. when i was active more on social media i was suggested regular dude profiles i didnt have any contact with quite often.

Thank you, that is a very interesting thread I will read through. Especially as I'm usually extremely careful with online privacy and social media.

I use a few 'empty' social media accounts for interaction with the model. The good thing (I think) is that I don't have multiple accounts on those social media platforms. I just barely use social media at all. So this hopefully reduces the risk to being connected easily to a personal account, as those personal accounts simply don't exist.

And ofcourse you never know on the internet, it's very difficult to hide every personal detail. But on the other hand, having a chat on whatsapp or IG should be possible without being blackmailed instantly I hope
And let's not immediately think the worst of the model too, it could very well be he genuinely likes to have a chat and a laugh (and some tips from time to time). I treat all models with a lot of respect and don't want to think the worst of them too quickly. When the "I need help because my father is in the hospital", or the "please come and visit me in South-America" stories will come up, ofcourse that's a different case and I'll watch out.

Thanks all so much for your concerns. It helps me to keep a healthy look at the situation. It noticed now for myself emotions can indeed take over quickly when you start to like a person and feel the famous 'click'.

 

[NotYou]

That's risky too. Social media platforms connect people and information in the strangest of ways, and if nobody else finds you out the platform will.

Definitely agree on this.
My recent thread about a models real Instagram account being suggested to me despite her using different names, email and phone numbers with it compared to her camming ones. So definitely be careful.

 

[ACADIE]

BestTimeofMyLife, I think this article for models from a Colombian agency may help you in discerning what could be happening. It's sad that an agency would encourage this, but these could be his tactics.

https://estrellaswebcam.com/2016/01/14/enamorar-o-no-enamorar-he-ahi-el-dilema/

Especially at times when his room isn't seeing a lot of activity, he may be investing his time (even at those times when you're not tipping) because he knows you will tip again. A good way of testing his interest would be to stop tipping for a while and see how he responds. We all like to believe our situation is different from the others, but you could save yourself a lot of money and heartbreak now if you were to find that this is not the case.

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

BestTimeofMyLife, I think this article for models from a Colombian agency may help you in discerning what could be happening. It's sad that an agency would encourage this, but these could be his tactics.

https://estrellaswebcam.com/2016/01/14/enamorar-o-no-enamorar-he-ahi-el-dilema/

Especially at times when his room isn't seeing a lot of activity, he may be investing his time (even at those times when you're not tipping) because he knows you will tip again. A good way of testing his interest would be to stop tipping for a while and see how he responds. We all like to believe our situation is different from the others, but you could save yourself a lot of money and heartbreak now if you were to find that this is not the case.

Thanks a lot, your suggestion would be a great test indeed. Very interesting article too. It shows the behaviour of clients is very predictable, because if I would only follow my heart I would probably react in the same was as the article describes.

If some of the examples come up in my chats with him, I will try to react in a different way the article describes. I'm very curious what will happen

Luckily my brain often stays alert, that's why I've come to this forum in a very early stage, and I'm so thankful I did.
My brain knows real love via a cam website is (almost) impossible. But my heart wants to stay in touch with him, be loved by him and help a sweet young man who's leading a difficult life and has to work like crazy to earn a few dollars. I will have to find a balance in that.

 

[ACADIE]

My brain knows real love via a cam website is (almost) impossible. But my heart wants to stay in touch with him, be loved by him and help a sweet young man who's leading a difficult life and has to work like crazy to earn a few dollars. I will have to find a balance in that.

The part of what you said in your original post that makes me nervous is that he says he's falling for you and wants to be your boyfriend. More important than the age difference (which isn't that big that it would be an immediate red flag), is that I presume you live on another continent (please correct me if I'm wrong). I have a strong friendship with an eastern European model who I really enjoy being around, but I'm in North America, and I have to remind myself that if she were looking for a boyfriend, she is attractive, charming and caring, so she would already have one closer to her. It's a struggle to find that balance, but this forum is the best resource I have found for giving myself a reality check if needed. You can still be an important part of each other's lives as friends

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

The part of what you said in your original post that makes me nervous is that he says he's falling for you and wants to be your boyfriend. More important than the age difference (which isn't that big that it would be an immediate red flag), is that I presume you live on another continent (please correct me if I'm wrong). I have a strong friendship with an eastern European model who I really enjoy being around, but I'm in North America, and I have to remind myself that if she were looking for a boyfriend, she is attractive, charming and caring, so she would already have one closer to her. It's a struggle to find that balance, but this forum is the best resource I have found for giving myself a reality check if needed. You can still be an important part of each other's lives as friends

Thanks for your post. You're absolutely right

This forum is very good for reality checks indeed. I will keep coming back here and let you know if new developments are there and I'm not sure what to think or do.

 

[rockin_rod]

You can still be an important part of each other's lives as friends

The concern I have with this is that it is a 'friendship' based around an online camsite interaction involving financial transactions.
So consider what the basis for continuing it would be.

 

[piercedcock78]

Hello all, very nice to meet you here. I hope I may ask you for some advice on close, personal contact with a model.

I have read a lot on this forum about scam stories and the unlikeliness of successfully dating models. I'm not in that phase yet, and as I want to remain as skeptical as possible I want to ask for advice in an early stage.

We are actually talking about a Latin male model. He is still young and an unexperienced model (only working since 1 or 2 months). He works for a studio. His room only attracts a few viewers (about 20) every evening, the first time I actually entered the room was by a misclick haha.
So we're not talking about a very experienced (female) model, which is different from most stories I've read here.

I visited his room a few times and we started talking more and more. We shared more and more personal details, had a lot of fun and laughs in the chat, and often there's not even tipping involved.
He says he's falling for my character, for being so gentle and careful and he wants to be my boyfriend, even though I'm about 10 years older.

He also was able to lead me to his personal social media accounts (outside of the company monitored social media pages with a fake name) where we now mostly communicate. I try to be as skeptical as possible, but I have to admit I'm pretty sure I am connected to his real accounts and know his real name. In my experience this does not happen very often, especially not with Latin models

I am developing more and more feelings for him too. He seems very genuine, I can't find any remarkable things in his stories or behaviour so far. He answers every question I ask him in a good way. But I want to remain skeptical before emotions take over and suddenly I've gotten myself into a dating situation which I would later regret. So far I haven't sent any money outside of the camsite, only tips on the camsite.

Do you have any advice on how to proceed with this? Things I could discuss with him to check out how genuine the situation really is? Questions I could ask to check whether the whole thing is a directed script from the studio he works in?

Thank you so much in advance for your time and support!

So, the first thing is that you say, "we're not talking about a very experienced (female) model, which is different from most stories I've read here."

Aside from the experience, why?

Is it because male models are supposed to be more inclined to give it up for a real world encounter?

I have had varoious offers for this and depending on how it is approached I will either give them a soft no..."It would be against the rules for me to do that and then I wouldn't get to see you or any of my other friends on here" or a hard no, "I'm not interested in that."

But either way, the result is the same: no.

I am curious by what you meant about he led you to his regular social media accounts though. Perhaps it is his inexperience or maybe it is the site he works on, but with me, the site that I work on does not allow for us to give out links to any other site.

Likewise, even if they did, I wouldn't do it.

In my life outside of my job, there are some people who know what I do and others that don't. That is how I prefer to keep it. If I were to let any of my clients on my reg facebook page, for example, I would always run the risk of them publicly outing me and that is just not a good recipe.

So even if he led you there, IMO the more respectful thing to do would be leave it alone and only chat with him on the site that you found him on or if he has any cam model related social media accounts.

Finally, my response to this kind of thing is always the same:

If you understand it for what it is: a fantasy that you are paying for, you will always have a fun time. If you assume that it is anything more than that then you will likely play all kinds of mind games with yourself and it could end up being more of a headache than what it is worth to both you and the model.

A friend of mine was actually asking just about dating advice in general the other day and I told him a similar thing: You don't go on porn related or for that matter hook up sites for any kind of a serious relationship. Instead, you cultivate a friendship with someone who you actually know (in the real world) and it will grow organically if it is meant to be. You go on porn sites or hook up sites to have fun and nothing more.

I hope that this helps.

 

[BestTimeofMyLife]

I hope that this helps.

It absolutely does, I appreciate your input lot, thanks so much.

Some of the things you said I can give more inside information about. But I don't want to post all of that here publicly. If you are interested in details I could tell you in private message

And regarding my comment about male/female vs experienced/non-experienced I think I sent the wrong message, probably because English is not my native tongue. I only meant to say that the dating stories I've read on this website mostly involved experienced female models, while this model is not. It probably doesn't matter a lot for the case itself, and for him being able to influence me. It was only meant as an extra piece of information go get a better idea of the situation I'm in.

 

[piercedcock78]

It absolutely does, I appreciate your input lot, thanks so much.

Some of the things you said I can give more inside information about. But I don't want to post all of that here publicly. If you are interested in details I could tell you in private message

And regarding my comment about male/female vs experienced/non-experienced I think I sent the wrong message, probably because English is not my native tongue. I only meant to say that the dating stories I've read on this website mostly involved experienced female models, while this model is not.

You are most welcome!


Okay, I do understand what you mean a bit better regarding the male/female comment. IMO it is really a matter of ethics regardless of gender on both the model and the clients end. The client should never ask a model for personal information and the model should never give the client personal information if that makes sense.

Absolutely, if you would like to send me a dm you can. I am a pretty approachable person.

Today has been kind of a lazy day for me and I am really fighting with myself about going to the store lol.

However, I will check in when I get a minute.