A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[MarieElise]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

No. Absolutely not. You can’t be another persons crutch and rescue them from a bad place, whether it be geographical, mental, emotional or all of the above. They have to do it for themselves or you’re gonna get sucked into either full codependency, or one sided codependency. Both of which suck donkey balls hard. Trust me on that one. Codependency is the devil You don’t want to end up with donkey jizz on your face. Metaphorically speaking.(Sorry, I’m not the most poetic).

 

[Lilly_____]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

Yeah, I mean, I think people started picking on what - to me - are the wrong reasons why this isn't real.

The age thing, the fact that they haven't met yet, I mean, those are the least concerning things about this whole story, in my humble opinion.

I really don't want to talk much about my personal life here but I've had amazing relationships with people who I waited months to meet - older men, on top of that. Might be just my personal experience of course but to say that this is a formula to a fake relationship has never been true to me.

Edit - that said, I still believe this is a lovecon

 

[rockin_rod]

That would have to be me. After this long thread, surprised you would have to ask.

It was a rhetorical question, the answer was never in doubt.

 

[Omne35]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

Turkey is a Nato country, can she even get in right now? Not to mention all the fighting going in in the Black Sea. If she mentions a cruise run.

 

[Omne35]

Don't get mad at me, I'm going to just tell you literally what she has said about this topic:

"I don't like children; I'm selfish that way."

No existing children are involved on either side.

And I already mentioned her take on liking older guys (along with allegedly not liking men her age, whom she thinks are immature). Oh...and she often railed against the men in her "oblast" - claims to dislike Russian men and has relayed tales of their drinking, betryal, and one that broke one of her ribs.

Again...I'm repeating what she said over time.... Any of it believable? Again...you tell me.

Yeah, a lot of Russian men are alcoholic chainsmokers and occasional spousal abusers. There is a reason their life expectancy has lagged women for decades.
Some are great guys though. I would be skeptical of a much older Russian man with a younger woman unless she was a trophy wife. Age to age is much more common. Not saying it couldn't happen but the few examples I remember they were looking for good looking punching bags. Jealousy makes a great excuse to some twisted minds.

 

[Nienna]

I’m not sure who was it, just one commenter said that their favorite cam girl asked not to spend much money because she raised prices.


I’m married to American, we met on Tinder after I moved abroad, he definitely bought me quite a bit of iPhones, other Apple products, jewelry, trips, clothes and other nice things before we even were married. We both have high income tho, but I was never shy to tell what gift I’d like and I definitely did say like “ooooooh my favorite hair straightener broke what am I gonna doooo” and he would show up with new hair straightener to “save me”. I love when my husband buys me gifts and flowers! It’s definitely depends on income and what man can afford though, sometimes girls settle or don’t ask for much because they don’t think they deserve much,
but 100% certain it is Slavic women with adequate self esteem do love man to be a provider and give gifts.. I don’t know why they often being blamed for it though. Many nationalities like this, go tell Arab woman do 50/50 on something she will laugh in your face lol

Hi. The bolded was me. My friend did indeed raise her prices recently. She asked me not to spend money on her, because we talk and she knows my financial situation. I am saving money for extensive dental work and want to return to university in the next couple of years. She is very proud and in fact supportive of my endeavors.
This is not about self-esteem. She works on five different sites, 4 days a week for 8 hours per her studio contract. She maintains a nice, some would say even luxury apartment on the Neva river. She lives comfortably according to Russian standards.
She is divorced and fiercely independant.
She specializes in pantyhose and foot fetish shows, and says she can earn 6-7 K tokens in some of these shows.
Lately though, she has been amping up her general chat show, (which is non nude) in the hopes she can do less private shows. She has said to me point blank, "I do not want to be naked".
She does have issues with what she does, and keeps it a closely guarded secret. Her family does not know.
She says that Russian men are different, in that they are much more judgemental and view camming as "dirty". Some even view it as the same as prostitution.
She is also of an older generation, she will be 50 on her next birthday.

I have read your posts before in other threads, and I wanted to say I really appreciate your perspective. Your insight and explanation of Russian culture has helped me to better understand and appreciate my friend.

 

[Nienna]

Yeah, a lot of Russian men are alcoholic chainsmokers and occasional spousal abusers. There is a reason their life expectancy has lagged women for decades.
Some are great guys though. I would be skeptical of a much older Russian man with a younger woman unless she was a trophy wife. Age to age is much more common. Not saying it couldn't happen but the few examples I remember they were looking for good looking punching bags. Jealousy makes a great excuse to some twisted minds.

Yes. My Russian friend is divorced and a survivor of domestic abuse. She does not speak very highly of Russian men.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Turkey

Apparently Russian citizens can still travel there. Turkey is the friendliest of the NATO countries toward Russia, even a year into the invasion. I don't think Turkey has gone along with most sanctions and I know that it hasn't cancelled flights.

If she mentions a cruise run.

Why? Just curious.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

lol i love this thread. george is hopeless. john cant stop trying to save george. and 9 monitors dude got bettlejuice'd back to brag about himself.

john cant stop trying to save george

That would have been noble but I think his obsession had some other agenda. The repeated attempts to get me to reveal the model's name? Then the weird lectures on porn and monkey sex? Ehhh...

 

[mika_kedi]

But the point is...if she was not sincere...

She was sincere though, in a way. She told you, repeatedly, from a start:

I see you as a man with whom I can have a future. And then there were statements about wanting to meet, fantasies of trips to various cities in Europe,

with whom I want to build a future ...

I don't agree with many things @EasternPromis is saying, I find some of them to be downright insulting generalisations towards Slavic women, but she also has some good points and I do agree with her about the fact that it's pretty obvious that the model you've been talking to is not living the dream in Russia and has plenty of reasons to want to escape from there.

Looks like she wanted you, your money and your foreign passport to be her ticket out. Her way to build a future. And it really doesn't look to me like she was hiding it, she was just putting it nicely with a romantic bow on top at first, because obviously "I will never love you, but give me money and take me away from my fucked up country and it's delusional, dangerous dictator and I, an attractive 25 yo, will give you companionship" was unlikely to work. I'm not blaming you for not noticing it at first, you caught feelings and wanted to believe she did too, but I do believe it should be clear to you by now 18 pages into this thread.

It also makes sense to me why she's so rude and blunt now. She feels she wasted a year trying to work towards her goal and it's pretty clear it's not gonna work out, because you finally starting noticing that her goal is different than yours, so she's trying to squeeze some last expensive gifts out of it.

I'm not saying what she did was okay or that the way she's talking to you right now isn't fucked up, but at the same time it's hard for me to judge her too harshly. And what would be the point anyway? The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

 

[misterical]

Here's a question: Is it common in Slavic culture for a woman to ask a man she don't really know and has never even met to wire thousands of dollars per month to her for "expenses"?

Please tell us that's a request that you didn't fulfil......

 

[misterical]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

I would agree entirely with MarieElise. In the post Covid world, we need to look at what constitutes a real relationship. After all, entire multi-billion pound corporations managed to run successfully while every interaction was conducted entirely online for the best part of 2 years.

When 2 people communicate that regularly, it's a relationship, regardless of whether it's conducted online or offline. It's still a thing.

The thing that should be questioned is the true nature of the relationship and the intentions of the people in that relationship. That would be equally as true whether they had met in real life or not.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I think this a bit over dramatic.

I thought the hair straightener skit was, actually.

By “saving” and “helping” I mean that it’s common at least where I’m from or among my friends abroad to express if they have some difficulties and if man is into them they’d volunteer to help. For example when I moved to new city I wasn’t sure how to use metro to get where I needed from where I lived so guy who liked me volunteered to show me how to get around there.
My best friend when started just started driving car was afraid to drive so guy who now-husband volunteered to help her learn roads and was driving with her at night.
I can go on and on. Some things include financial help and some don’t.


But your position is fair enough and may your partners always be 100% healthy, employed and out of any troubles and have lots of family to support them in trouble ever comes

For real, both myself and Ozzie were reacting to the "gold digging lite" vibe. We're not talking about giving a someone thoughtful gift and certainly not talking about helping a friend when their luck is down. Ozzie really would not appreciate being targeted as a walking ATM, and I really would not want anyone I was with to even wonder that about me.

 

[EasternPromis]

Should I reopen communication channels?

No, because

To be honest, I've enjoyed refusing to buy stuff for her.

In some ways, I feel even a little sorry for this woman.

You’re enjoying some power play over her and I don’t think there’s way back from it.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I would agree entirely with MarieElise. In the post Covid world, we need to look at what constitutes a real relationship. After all, entire multi-billion pound corporations managed to run successfully while every interaction was conducted entirely online for the best part of 2 years.

When 2 people communicate that regularly, it's a relationship, regardless of whether it's conducted online or offline. It's still a thing.

The thing that should be questioned is the true nature of the relationship and the intentions of the people in that relationship. That would be equally as true whether they had met in real life or not.

I'm sorry, we are not on the same wavelength here, misterical. I'm thinking that you really don't know where the lines are, which makes this post ironic because you are referring to corporations as an example and they are about business activities.

 

[ArcticKitty]

It also makes sense to me why she's so rude and blunt now. She feels she wasted a year trying to work towards her goal and it's pretty clear it's not gonna work out, because you finally starting noticing that her goal is different than yours, so she's trying to squeeze some last expensive gifts out of it.

I'm not saying what she did was okay or that the way she's talking to you right now isn't fucked up, but at the same time it's hard for me to judge her too harshly. And what would be the point anyway? The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

I think you're right that much of her behaviour is understandable given that life is hard and her fish is slipping away from her. I also think that she is driven by a reactive disorder. I'm thinking of people who grew up in fucked up situations.

(And yes, I know that some people give what they think is "witty banter" but other people take as rude and offensive, and that this happens often with some Russians and foreigners.)

 

[AudriTwo]

george at this point, do what you want. you obviously enjoy and crave the attention from her. keep doing what you are doing.

or go to therapy. take all the energy and money you are spending on her and go work on bettering yourself.

 

[Omne35]

Apparently Russian citizens can still travel there. Turkey is the friendliest of the NATO countries toward Russia, even a year into the invasion. I don't think Turkey has gone along with most sanctions and I know that it hasn't cancelled flights.

Why? Just curious.

The black Sea is a war zone.

 

[MarieElise]

I would agree entirely with MarieElise. In the post Covid world, we need to look at what constitutes a real relationship. After all, entire multi-billion pound corporations managed to run successfully while every interaction was conducted entirely online for the best part of 2 years.

When 2 people communicate that regularly, it's a relationship, regardless of whether it's conducted online or offline. It's still a thing.

The thing that should be questioned is the true nature of the relationship and the intentions of the people in that relationship. That would be equally as true whether they had met in real life or not.

Yes. However I would also like to point out I was talking about many years ago when I used actual online dating sites to find a partner. No money was involved. Other than splitting date expenses.

But yes, a real bond of some sort does form with extended online communication. Not necessarily always a healthy bond that serves both parties well. Especially if either party has hidden agendas they are not being transparent about. A social bond of types, sure. A real bond of sorts if both parties are being above board, that can be healthy, sure. But as soon as certain boundaries are crossed things can become very unhealthy fast. Which is why I firmly believe that staying on sites and not using cam sites for any type of real life meet up is really important. Cam sites are a whole other level of nuances and issues regarding exchange of money and services. These sites are business sites. Sites where humans conduct an exchange of services for currency. That is fundamental. And cannot be forgotten, ignored or swept under the rug.

 

[Sashacurves]

Is there a culture somewhere in the world where the women love being the providers and giving the expensive gifts to the men? Asking for a friend.

Yes, but unfortunately for all of us involved, 85% of the world live within patriarchal societies.

 

[misterical]

Yes. However I would also like to point out I was talking about many years ago when I used actual online dating sites to find a partner. No money was involved. Other than splitting date expenses.

But yes, a real bond of some sort does form with extended online communication. Not necessarily always a healthy bond that serves both parties well. Especially if either party has hidden agendas they are not being transparent about. A social bond of types, sure. A real bond of sorts if both parties are being above board, that can be healthy, sure. But as soon as certain boundaries are crossed things can become very unhealthy fast. Which is why I firmly believe that staying on sites and not using cam sites for any type of real life meet up is really important. Cam sites are a whole other level of nuances and issues regarding exchange of money and services. These sites are business sites. Sites where humans conduct an exchange of services for currency. That is fundamental. And cannot be forgotten, ignored or swept under the rug.

Agreed. Members and models meeting is an absolutely mental proposition. Not something I would ever do or encourage anyone to do. In fact, I had to put that notion into the head of another member just the other day.

I think any kind of relationship in any medium can work so long as each party understands the boundaries and wants vaguely the same thing. I think in George's case, both member expressed a desire for the same thing but probably only one of them really wanted that thing. The other used that thing as leverage to obtain material and financial benefits.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

She was sincere though, in a way. She told you, repeatedly, from a start:

I don't agree with many things @EasternPromis is saying, I find some of them to be downright insulting generalisations towards Slavic women, but she also has some good points and I do agree with her about the fact that it's pretty obvious that the model you've been talking to is not living the dream in Russia and has plenty of reasons to want to escape from there.

Looks like she wanted you, your money and your foreign passport to be her ticket out. Her way to build a future. And it really doesn't look to me like she was hiding it, she was just putting it nicely with a romantic bow on top at first, because obviously "I will never love you, but give me money and take me away from my fucked up country and it's delusional, dangerous dictator and I, an attractive 25 yo, will give you companionship" was unlikely to work. I'm not blaming you for not noticing it at first, you caught feelings and wanted to believe she did too, but I do believe it should be clear to you by now 18 pages into this thread.

It also makes sense to me why she's so rude and blunt now. She feels she wasted a year trying to work towards her goal and it's pretty clear it's not gonna work out, because you finally starting noticing that her goal is different than yours, so she's trying to squeeze some last expensive gifts out of it.

I'm not saying what she did was okay or that the way she's talking to you right now isn't fucked up, but at the same time it's hard for me to judge her too harshly. And what would be the point anyway? The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

Looks like she wanted you, your money and your foreign passport to be her ticket out.

Maybe. But despite all the talk about meetings, there was always some reason from her about why it couldn't happen yet. First it was the war but then, when we discussed places where Russian citizens could still travel, other excuses would arise. ("I can't go anywhere now because my cat has all these medical problems" and then "I can't go anywhere yet because my mom has some medical problems" and so on).

This is why I began to also wonder if this was a "long trail of breadcrumbs" con. Even more recently, with suggestions of going to Istanbul in spring or summer, there's element of delay. It began to look like her idea was: Just keep a stream of money coming and we'll keep talking about visiting...

This is all moot; I'm just clarifying why it isn't even certain that her plan was for a ticket out ASAP.

she was just putting it nicely with a romantic bow on top at first

A little more than a romantic bow. There was six months of near love-bombing, lots of romantic messages and attempts to strongly sell it as being much more than about money or a ticket out. She was actually very insistent about the romantic element.

Actually, if she had made this statement --

"I will never love you, but give me money and take me away from my fucked up country and it's delusional, dangerous dictator and I, an attractive 25 yo, will give you companionship"

I would have really admired the honesty but the whole thing would have ended a lot sooner.

The best thing you can do now OP, as been said many timed by many people in this thread before, is to just block her everywhere and move on.

This is the one thing all agree on.

 

[Maxi]

Are you going to block her now then, @GeorgeSpelvin ? Please?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Please tell us that's a request that you didn't fulfil......

No. I definitely gave her money, thousands over time, but it was through a combination of long chats in private plus a lot of one-off "gifts" offline. But where she began heading in the last few months was the notion that I would basically start providing a substantial, fixed amount of money each month, offsite...so she could rely on it. Her argument was, as mentioned, that I was (allegedly) her man and "my man has a responsibility that includes financial support, as well as emotional."

This is when her entitlement started to really go through the roof...especially when I pushed back and wouldn't do it. It's funny to think about, because in discussions of this, she explain the reason for my obligation as: She has expenses; needs to keep up with rent; needs to help her mom; needs to care for her cat; likes delicious sweets; and so on. Maybe I'm dense but.....why would that all be my responsibility again??? I'm going to assume that even in Slavic culture, this kind of support would commence during serious dating...not before ever meeting.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

a walking ATM

Another great image.

 

[misterical]

Another great image.

One of a number of walking ATMs. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the only one George.

 

[Maxi]

…please?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Which is why I firmly believe that staying on sites and not using cam sites for any type of real life meet up is really important. Cam sites are a whole other level of nuances and issues regarding exchange of money and services. These sites are business sites. Sites where humans conduct an exchange of services for currency. That is fundamental. And cannot be forgotten, ignored or swept under the rug.

Obviously I'm learning a lot here and I knew nothing about this industry previously. There seems to be some percentage of models and members (I have no idea if it's a small minority or maybe it's a sizeable proportion) who think that meeting up with dates and even potential life partners on the sites is perfectly fine. Do the sites have any position about this one way or another, or do they not care so long as they keep making money? And is there any particular reason why the sites (or models in general) would be opposed to this?

I'm asking because when I was reading TOS's recently, they vary a lot. Some sites appear to be super strict about everything. Other sites seem to say, "It's not our business." I think it was Charturbate that basically says, "If you meet anybody offsite, take precautions and we won't get involved in any dispute or bear any liability." Other sites (LiveJasmin, maybe?) seem to have TOS's that say they'll ban a model if they find out.

My experiences and reading opinions here has gotten me interested in this business.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Are you going to block her now then, @GeorgeSpelvin ? Please?

She's already partially blocked and we haven't communicated since last update. She could still contact me though a site or two, though, now that I think about it.

EDIT: What I'm really struggling with it the reporting to the sites. That's my dilemma at the moment.

 

[Maxi]

She's already partially blocked and we haven't communicated since last update. She could still contact me though a site or two, though, now that I think about it.