A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[EasternPromis]

And vice versa.

I don't care where a woman is from or what her history is, if she's looking at me as a walking wallet or some sort of saviour to rescue her, then I'm not interested. Sure if a relationship is established, then of course I would *assist* with things, that's what a relationship is: a *partnership*.

From my Canadian perspective, fuck that noise.

I don't want "saving" with costly gifts. I don't want anyone I'm in a relationship with to question my motives or have any doubt that I'm there with him because I want to be with him. I for damn sure expect to be respected as a human being and a grown woman.

I think this a bit over dramatic.

By “saving” and “helping” I mean that it’s common at least where I’m from or among my friends abroad to express if they have some difficulties and if man is into them they’d volunteer to help. For example when I moved to new city I wasn’t sure how to use metro to get where I needed from where I lived so guy who liked me volunteered to show me how to get around there.
My best friend when started just started driving car was afraid to drive so guy who now-husband volunteered to help her learn roads and was driving with her at night.
I can go on and on. Some things include financial help and some don’t.


But your position is fair enough and may your partners always be 100% healthy, employed and out of any troubles and have lots of family to support them in trouble ever comes

 

[Omne35]

I born In 1993 (29 now) and my parents were pretty poor when I was growing up and 90s were pretty wild where I am from.

So you’re saying that older Russian women is less demanding? Could be. On the so-called “socials” where tour groups of foreigners would come and select women like in candy shop? Is that what you’re referring to? That times long passed. Hence nowadays foreigners so, so confused when Ukrainian/Russian women know their worth and foreigners can’t get Natalia Vodianova looking girl to come live in a farm of Midwest and cook vareniki for her 55 y.o husband that never buys her iPhone lol
Girl in discussion is 25. She’s been on Instagram, tik tok and she’s travelled, she’s well aware what nice things are. In this threads usually discussing girls in their 20s, I never seen thread of these about women 35+, so comparison with Soviet Union survivors is irrelevant.

I'm not trying to argue with you, your experiences are what they are. I'm simply pointing out that they don't necessarily apply to all Slavic women or countries.
I remember the tour groups, when I read about them I was appalled and very sad. Nobody should have to go through that, they sounded like slave auctions. I met my girlfriends professionally. My point about the Soviet Union is that the farther you get from the west the deeper the lingering effects are culturally.

I enjoy your posts and I respect your opinion.

 

[EasternPromis]

for a stranger

man she don't really know

Hold on. So you didn’t let her get to know you in one year of communication?

Then what’s all the fuss about if she’s stranger? You enjoyed while it lasted but she’s a stranger and not nice cam girl to go to?

And she’s supposed to go and meet you - man she doesn’t know?

 

[EasternPromis]

Is it common in Slavic culture for a woman to ask a man she don't really know and has never even met to wire thousands of dollars per month to her for "expenses"?

Not necessarily, but I mentioned in other comment that girls I got to know when I was in studio married guys whom they met on cam. I would say in all the cases guys started off as big tippers and definitely were trying to win girls attention and prove they’re not perverts and are safe to meet irl lol Of course they took them to pvts just to talk, sent nice gifts etc. How else would you stand out from “show feet Joe” and “I marry you baby come to Turkey Omar”?

So sorry that people in Russia have it rough but doesn't obligate me to buy iPhones and pay veterinary bills for a stranger.

Then “stranger” from Russia is not obligated to care what you’re thinking or inform about her “real feelings” as long as you paying you don’t give 3 fucks about the girl why would she

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I don't want "saving" with costly gifts.

I agree and it works both ways. Yeah, I do pretty good financially. Not wealthy but certainly comfortable. Do I want someone whose ONLY interest in me is as a means to pull them out of poverty? No. I don't remember the model said it somewhere in this thread about "my" model's constant demands (combined with brazen admissions of how she manipulates men), but I loved the statement: "You're a man, not a wallet."

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Hold on. So you didn’t let her get to know you in one year of communication?

Then what’s all the fuss about if she’s stranger? You enjoyed while it lasted but she’s a stranger and not nice cam girl to go to?

And she’s supposed to go and meet you - man she doesn’t know?

I'm being facetious when I say "stranger." What I'm saying is echoing what many people in this thread pointed out (and I now realize): Yes, she and I spoke extensively for a year. I THOUGHT we were close. I know I was open and sincere. HOWEVER, there were a lot of red flags that I didn't pay attention to at first (and some I just ignored or hoped would go away). Why? I don't know.... Love? A crush? Difficulty believing that someone could overtly lie so convincingly about having romantic feelings? Maybe several reasons. But the point is...if she was not sincere...IF it was really pure manipulation (as many have suggested), then in a way, she is a stranger.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Not necessarily, but I mentioned in other comment that girls I got to know when I was in studio married guys whom they met on cam. I would say in all the cases guys started off as big tippers and definitely were trying to win girls attention and prove they’re not perverts and are safe to meet irl lol Of course they took them to pvts just to talk, sent nice gifts etc. How else would you stand out from “show feet Joe” and “I marry you baby come to Turkey Omar”?



Then “stranger” from Russia is not obligated to care what you’re thinking or inform about her “real feelings” as long as you paying you don’t give 3 fucks about the girl why would she

 

[AudriTwo]

lol i love this thread. george is hopeless. john cant stop trying to save george. and 9 monitors dude got bettlejuice'd back to brag about himself.

 

[Ozzie_]

I can go on and on. Some things include financial help and some don’t.

Sorry I thought you mentioned a lot of examples of monetary "help" (iPhones etc)

But your position is fair enough and may your partners always be 100% healthy, employed and out of any troubles and have lots of family to support them in trouble ever comes

If a woman was *actually* my partner, of course I'd be helping her. The model in George's situation is not and never was his partner. Likewise my remarks were meant with regard to any woman who was not yet my partner.

But I think we must have a culture clash here, I would never be interested in a woman who expected me to shower her with expensive gifts as proof of either my interest in her or my worthiness as a partner; likewise I have never met a woman who expected that of a man IRL (or online actually).

As to your examples of non-monetary help such as help with getting to know the metro or driving, well, I would do that for a friend or even an acquaintance with no expectation of a relationship; in my opinion it's just how decent human beings behave.

But dropping over a thousand bucks for an iPhone on a mere acquaintance? Nope.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

girls I got to know when I was in studio married guys whom they met on cam. I would say in all the cases guys started off as big tippers and definitely were trying to win girls attention and prove they’re not perverts and are safe to meet irl lol Of course they took them to pvts just to talk, sent nice gifts etc.

Keep in mind that I did the same thing: I spent a lot on her, both on tips and long privates that were purely us chatting....and later offline money and gifts. I don't doubt that there are cases where models married guys they met in this situation.

But here's my question for you: How many girls pretended to like such big spenders, even led them on romantically for months or years, only to get money -- not with any real intention of dating or marriage at all? Because from what people are saying on this forum (and in other places, too), that's a lot more common than what you are describing.

Then “stranger” from Russia is not obligated to care what you’re thinking or inform about her “real feelings” as long as you paying you don’t give 3 fucks about the girl why would she

I clarified this in my other response. I'm sure I was sincere. The questions I began to have were about her claimed feelings...

I don't know the cam modeling industry but a big difference in what I'm hearing you say versus a lot of other models who have commented here is: Most of the models here are saying: "Webcam sites aren't dating sites; the intent isn't to find a wife; and the models aren't supposed to be there to meet offsite and commence relationships." You seem to be saying, "Models can and do engage in relationships with the clients and often marry them." I don't have an opinion on this either way; I'm wondering if this is something more common though for Eastern Europe/Russian models than for Western models?

Also, you aren't saying much about the possibility of simple, outright scamming...yet that seems to be what I hear most about. It appears that situations with a client and model meeting online, marrying, and having a successful situation are the rare exception.

Again...I don't know...I just came here to tell the story of my situation.

 

[EasternPromis]

But I think we must have a culture clash here, I would never be interested in a woman who expected me to shower her with expensive gifts as proof of either my interest in her or my worthiness as a partner; likewise I have never met a woman who expected that of a man IRL (or online actually).

Yeah, that’s why people talk and date and figure out what’s right for them.
I’m by no means saying everyone should shower their women with phones and it’s only way to live, it’s the matter of finding what’s a good fit.
But some comments make it sound like I’m offering everyone to go date Slavic girl with gifts as a love language lol


For example my now-husband (American) gifted me AirPods on our 4th date, we didn’t have sex or weren’t “exclusive” then, just were going out. I mentioned to him that I like to wear headphone to ignore consultants in shops and he gifted it with note “now you can ignore consultants in style”. I like gifts and I definitely used to receive them, so it was a match in this matter. He bought me first IPhone when we were dating for 2.5 months. Lol

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

You asking it on internet? It could be 15 minutes conversation with Her. I also didn’t see how old are you?

Because when I started camming in Ukraine back in 2013 I started in studio, and few girls from my studio ended up marrying guys they met on cam, and now live abroad, still married, some have children. This is not That uncommon. But in all this scenarios age gap was not big, man was 3 years older maximum or they were of same age. So if your age gap is big as if 25 and 55 it’s bigger red flag than anything else tbh.


So before it was enjoyable and worth what you were spending then it became not enjoyable? Absolutely fair enough of you to stop spending money on something that’s not enjoyable. You are outright saying you enjoying seeing this woman asking for money and denying her it. As soon as it became not enjoyable you could just say “Our situationship is no longer enjoyable for me, I want to stop communication/become regular client as before etc etc”. She would be at first in discomfort and try to sort it out because obviously she was spending her personal time doing all the things with you that you enjoyed previously, but then she would get back on her feet and spend this time working and make up for income loss.


But the real question is, if you could know for sure, 100% that she’s in love with you, would you get her all the things she’s asking for? So you’re interested if she’s “Truly” interested but if she’s not then she’s a scammer from internet?
Or the woman with such expectations is not someone you’d ever want irl, and don’t want such demanding cam girl to go to? No longer entertaining? - then easy, ditch the girl.


So you were giving her more money because she was telling you about her feelings (real or not)? This was affecting your decision In how much money you’d give her yet you didn’t think of yourself as her boyfriend of some sort? But what happened is you got bored of it and you not longer get dopamine rush from it?

You asking it on internet? It could be 15 minutes conversation with Her. I also didn’t see how old are you?

Big age gap and yes, we discussed it many times. She always insisted, "Age doesn't matter to me." Believable? You tell me...

So before it was enjoyable and worth what you were spending then it became not enjoyable?

It was enjoyable before the discrepancies began to pile up to the point where they could no longer be ignored and therefore her sincerity became dubious.

But the real question is, if you could know for sure, 100% that she’s in love with you, would you get her all the things she’s asking for? So you’re interested if she’s “Truly” interested but if she’s not then she’s a scammer from internet?

If she was sincere and not a scammer, why would it be a problem if I remained interested? Wouldn't that just make me like those other guys you mentioned who married the model from the studio? I never said I was against the idea of a member and model dating or getting married.

But what happened is you got bored of it and you not longer get dopamine rush from it?

You really like to fill in the gaps without information. I realize this is a long thread but most of this is covered. I didn't get bored with it. I got increasingly suspicious that she was lying about her romantic feelings and intentions. I asked people here what they thought. We didn't do a poll but it seems like it came down something like: 70% think she's a scammer (doing this purely for money; all fake) and maybe 30% think she is be sincere (but has some personality problems or is at minimum, narcissistic and materialistic).

 

[EasternPromis]

How many girls pretended to like such big spenders

A lot of cam girls have to adjust and of course be nice to customers, it’s common sense. How do you run a business without being nice to your best customers?

even led them on romantically for months or years, only to get money -- not with any real intention of dating or marriage at all?

Three. In all of the cases girls were pretty early 20s and men obese over 50. That’s why age would be deciding factor for me to determine if it’s even possible something to come out of it.

 

[EasternPromis]

Most of the models here seem to be saying: "Webcam sites aren't dating sites; the intent isn't to find a wife; and the models aren't supposed to be there to meet offsite and commence relationships." You seem to be saying, "Models can and do engage in relationships with the clients and often marry them." I don't have an opinion on this either way; I'm wondering if this is something more common though for Eastern Europe/Russian models than for Western models?

Yes, westerner models usually earn more, they have more “work ethic” going on and I think westerner models can chip in with more reasons!


Yes, in my experience in Ukraine and even reading some Russian speaking forums - girls more open minded to it. It’s even can be considered a good life turn - camming while young and enjoy life then get married with guy from abroad and move, have kids, enjoy life. But of course not looking for pervert or some broke dude who’s asking to get married first time entering the chat. Lol I am not saying it happens left and right, but it does, back in a day someone’s “member” would visit our home town like every 2-3 months or some girl would fly to vacations with one lol
There is of course stories when girl didn’t like man in person at all, and once one man kicked girl out of hotel in Mexico

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Slavic women with adequate self esteem do love man to be a provider and give gifts.. I don’t know why they often being blamed for it though.

Is there a culture somewhere in the world where the women love being the providers and giving the expensive gifts to the men? Asking for a friend.

 

[EasternPromis]

Big age gap

She’s a scammer, case is closed. Khalas

 

[EasternPromis]

Is there a culture somewhere in the world where the women love being the providers and giving the expensive gifts to the men? Asking for a friend.

I doubt it as for ages we were considered not good enough to study or work.


However my husband got PS5 and VR thing for Xmas He’s got new IPad for first date anniversary as well in December.

 

[Lilly_____]

She’s a scammer, case is closed. Khalas

Of all things though, this is the only thing that indicates a scam to you? I'm honestly asking because to topic obviously has much more to do with your culture but as someone who is actually attracted to older men, I wouldn't see this single fact as THE giveaway.

 

[MarieElise]

Feeling that the person you thought you knew is now a stranger is a normal part of a grieving process. Means he’s letting go and realizing the dream was just that… a dream in his own head. Maybe that’s for the best in this case

Seems like they don’t have a lot of good to do each other right now. No matter who’s right and who’s wrong.

 

[EasternPromis]

Of all things though, this is the only thing that indicates a scam to you? I'm honestly asking because to topic obviously has much more to do with your culture but as someone who is actually attracted to older men, I wouldn't see this single fact as THE giveaway.

Yes. No way hot 25 y.o will settle for old guy. Only if he has a lot of money and it’s temporary. What will she do when kids are still young and he’s already retired or too sick to run after them or died?
Having kids rather big deal in my culture still. It’s bad idea to have kids with much older man, for the most part. I dated two older men back in day and omg I would never anymore.
Edited to add: especially if there is ex wives and step children involved oooooooof nooo

My husband is 5 years older than me and it’s as old as I would ever go for a serious relationships.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Of all things though, this is the only thing that indicates a scam to you? I'm honestly asking because to topic obviously has much more to do with your culture but as someone who is actually attracted to older men, I wouldn't see this single fact as THE giveaway.

This is an interesting comment.

So to give even more info - I'm a "middle aged" guy and the model in question is 25. The caveat (if applicable): I look younger than I am and I'm an athlete. Good looking, popular when I was the "young buck" - now maybe just "good looking for his age." lol

I mention this because, regardless of what I just said, others have said something that echoed EasternPromis' comments: "Doesn't matter dude. You could be the best looking middle aged guy around but to a 25-year-old, you are like dad. Unless you're extremely wealthy and that's her sole interest." So that's definitely an argument in favor of the "She's a scammer" camp.

Maybe not a universal truth? This thread sure raises more questions than answers!

 

[rockin_rod]

If a long-distance 'relationship' lasting 12 months, between 2 people who claimed to have romantic feelings for each other, never once prompted any serious discussion around meeting IRL, then there was no real prospect of it becoming anything other than what it started out as on a camming platform.

 

[MarieElise]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

 

[EasternPromis]

Idk why OP wouldn’t say his age? Middle age is very vague, google says it’s between 40 to 60. Which is giant gap. My husband says no way he’d have a child and deal with baby-toddler stages past 40 and it’s fair enough, small children is rough. So what’s your plan if your new 20-something wife wants a baby?
Is there already existing children involved?

 

[rockin_rod]

Omg here I go again. This is just a coincidence that I am refuting you again Rod, and I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water… however…

I do want to add that I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum, models and members say; that if you talk to someone for a long period of time, and don’t meet up … that means that it’s not real. I would like to argue, the opposite, because back when I did dating and online dating, quite the exact opposite was the case. I often wouldn’t want to meet up with someone too soon, who i was getting to know, and taking seriously. Where as someone I wasn’t taking seriously, I would be happy to meet up with right away. So it does sound like for the majority of you, not meeting up for a long period of time would mean and that you are not really serious or interested. However the opposite is the case for me , and I’m sure it could be the case for some other tiny proportion of people. Emphasis on some, because it does seem like that is not the case for the majority. I’m not a Virgo I swear, however I do have a lot of Libra planets I just had to add this in . That point has been driving me nuts for months.

PS ; there are a tiny number of us who move like sloths if we are planning something real lasting. Don’t look us over out there. We want love too!!

All good! I meant that (unless I missed it in this looooong thread, which is a definite possibility!) there did not seem to have been any discussion around meeting up. Meeting up, and discussing meeting up, are obv quite different steps, but at least discussing the possibility and options for it, would show me that there was intent on both sides and would have been a much stronger sign that the relationship had a possible future.

ETA: I'm a Scorpio, fwiw

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I’m not in any way arguing that this cyber hook up is not dead in the water…

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

 

[rockin_rod]

Well...meeting was discussed but the war created complications for where she could go and allegedly other issues. But her last, recent proclamations were that we should meet in Istanbul in the spring. Should I reopen communication channels?

Who was funding the flights, hotel room(s), meals, etc?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Idk why OP wouldn’t say his age? Middle age is very vague, google says it’s between 40 to 60. Which is giant gap. My husband says no way he’d have a child and deal with baby-toddler stages past 40 and it’s fair enough, small children is rough. So what’s your plan if your new 20-something wife wants a baby?
Is there already existing children involved?

So what’s your plan if your new 20-something wife wants a baby?
Is there already existing children involved?

Don't get mad at me, I'm going to just tell you literally what she has said about this topic:

"I don't like children; I'm selfish that way."

No existing children are involved on either side.

And I already mentioned her take on liking older guys (along with allegedly not liking men her age, whom she thinks are immature). Oh...and she often railed against the men in her "oblast" - claims to dislike Russian men and has relayed tales of their drinking, betryal, and one that broke one of her ribs.

Again...I'm repeating what she said over time.... Any of it believable? Again...you tell me.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Who was funding the flights, hotel room(s), meals, etc?

That would have to be me. After this long thread, surprised you would have to ask.

 

[EasternPromis]

Don't get mad at me, I'm going to just tell you literally what she has said about this topic:

"I don't like children; I'm selfish that way."

No existing children are involved on either side.

And I already mentioned her take on liking older guys (along with allegedly not liking men her age, whom she thinks are immature). Oh...and she often railed against the men in her "oblast" - claims to dislike Russian men and has relayed tales of their drinking, betryal, and one that broke one of her ribs.

Again...I'm repeating what she said over time.... Any of it believable? Again...you tell me.

Oh indeed Russian men are awful!
Not all of them, some of my friends married Ukrainians very nicely and living a good life. But these are rare and typically need to get one at a young age and date for decade to marry lol


About children not sure. So is she saying she doesn’t want them ever? When I was younger I was screaming everywhere how I hate kids and I’m child free but actually one of my relationships finished because man was older and didn’t want children but I realized I wanted to after couple years. So I think 25 is bit too early for her to know and to start having children. She might end up wanting one in 5-7 years.