A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[Danigirl]

The love letters "she" (probably studio bosses) sent to you are generic and probably sent to a bunch of dudes taking her private over time. Even you doubt it's real because you're asking on a forum. She's desperate for money so preying on guys desperate for actual romantic connection. Do you really think her passport was real? Even if it was, do you think it would be smart of her to show it to a stranger online she's never met?? Nah, that's asinine. It's part of a larger scheme to make you feel special like you are getting to know the real person behind the cam model persona. She wants you to feel chosen so you'll send even more money.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

I've read so many of the posts on this site about members in love with a model, almost all where it's obvious that the member is deluding himself. I something think these stories should be required reading before one is allowed to join a cam model site as a member.

I have a story to tell, too. It might differ than most here...or then again, maybe others will see many of the usual red flags. It relates to my now 12-month journey with a particular model.

I find that many of the reactions to "I'm in love with a model/does she love me" posts tend to blame the member (normally a guy) for being gullible, or delusional. I think that makes sense when the model is just doing her job and maintaining professional ethics. But not all models do and in those cases, such reactions are then like "blaming the victim."



It's not always the guy who is the instigator pushing the boundaries. I feel that this model has broken just about all the normal rules that most models on this site advocate.

What do others think?

And let's say it all turns out to have been one long romance con. Do I just let it go? It's going to be difficult to not view this woman as a sociopath with no moral compass if that's how it plays our.... I would hate for someone else to go through this if it's all just a scam.

I think you came here to look for validation and a pat on the back from us and for us to bash the model for love conning you because you're ultimately the victim.

Reading your responses to others, all you do is try to rip the model to pieces and get us to join in the party. Sorry dude, none of us approve of this type of behaviour but we also aren't here to bash someone. What she did isn't right, that you fell for it isn't right, there's responsibility on both parts and you're both guilty. End of.

I suggest you re-read all the posts in that thread and the other "love" posts that didn't end up in there and re-evaluate your situation yet again...Although you're probably going to just deny the fact that everyone else told you the same already and find a different excuse to make us pity you and rip the model in question to pieces.

 

[misterical]

It's easy to get annoyed at the model in this situation but in some countries they are just doing what it takes to survive. I know we all value honesty but it's easy to see how these things happen.

It's no secret that a model's aim is to keep us coming back and paying money for private shows and sexual acts and that's just normal business practise, not dishonesty. You might still end up paying more than you can realistically afford but you are at least still receiving something in return for your money. It's when you get into the realms of paying for vets bills, one legged grandmothers and pills for rare tropical diseases (despite the model living in Siberia) that you need to start asking questions of yourself.

I understand the addiction to the communication. I have a model that I visit all of the time. If I ever stopped visiting her it would be the offline communication via Whatsapp that I would miss the most, not the sex part. It's that idea that someone cares about you enough to spark up a conversation outside of the platform. However, in your case it looks like this is being used as a channel to exploit you further.

I think the most telling part of this is that it has been a year and she's still not solidified any plans for meeting up. You'll probably find that you are one of a number of guys being strung along simultaneously. She probably has trouble keeping track of which one of you is which so you might spot some red flags of that nature if you look closely enough.

Stop visiting, stop sending money and cut off all communication. It will be difficult. I'll bet my house that she'll chase you initially but then give up and move on to the next guy pretty quickly. It's an established racket and there's always another one where you came from.

Good luck mate, you are going to need it. It's the worst situation to be in. It's the heartbreak of a breakup combined with the sheer anger at having been conned.

 

[Derek_Zoolander]

The best advice I've seen so far in this thread is to go talk to a therapist. Therapists are always understanding and patient and you will need a lot of that to get over the bitterness of being conned. Don't look for sympathy from this model because you know you won't get it. And I doubt the confirmation of your fears from this forum will be enough to help you get over it. Like someone already mentioned, even if we all agreed you've met the worst cam model ever, a total sociopathic reprobate, what does that get you?

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I saw he's already on the defensive before he even got responses. When people come to this forum and they are already on the defensive, and argumentative

Not sure where you saw "defensive" and "argumentative" in my long post. It's one thing to not read it because you think it's too long or you're not interested in another one of these stories from another one of "these guys" but I think I was pretty open about the situation and where I'm at with it. I didn't try to push anybody towards anything but if someone's reaction mistates something I said, well, sure, I'm going to point out what I said.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

she tries to make up with you

She is doing that...insisting that I'm paranoid; that "it's a shame" I don't believe her, etc.

 

[MarieElise]

Not sure where you saw "defensive" and "argumentative" in my long post. It's one thing to not read it because you think it's too long or you're not interested in another one of these stories from another one of "these guys" but I think I was pretty open about the situation and where I'm at with it. I didn't try to push anybody towards anything but if someone's reaction mistates something I said, well, sure, I'm going to point out what I said.

I’m sorry about this situation you’ve got yourself embroiled in George. But I’m not interested in interacting with you further because you seem to be in a lashing out, angry phase of your coming to terms with this. Totally understandable but i don’t deal w that. In any form. From anyone. And I’m not interested. If you feel like you’re over it and get into the idea of having some physical fun together, feel free to hit me up though. I’m only interested in your cock and your money, won’t lie. $8.99/ min.

I’m emotional unavailable to the majority of internet strangers. Sorry.

ETA; might be a good time to hit the bar or something and meet a real chick in your town. Xmas romances are the best! Forget this whole model thing and go have some safe fun!

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I think the most telling part of this is that it has been a year and she's still not solidified any plans for meeting up

It's been discussed before with the main excuse being that it's practically impossible for Russians to travel to a lot of countries now, especially EU countries. But there have been other excuses too...always some situational problem that makes it not a good time. Yeah, of course it's bullshit.

You'll probably find that you are one of a number of guys being strung along simultaneously

It's occurred to me. And naturally, when I've gone to that topic, the answer has always been heavy reassurance that I'm the only person she's communicating with offsite in this particular manner.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Do you really think her passport was real? Even if it was, do you think it would be smart of her to show it to a stranger online she's never met??

It turned out that it was. That's all I'm going to say about it. That's part of why this got really confusing to me.

But as someone else said in this thread...probably doesn't mean as much, as she lives a continent away, in a locked down country. So maybe the point was....really just a way to try to prove something to the guy (me) in the hope of getting a lot more money? I have no idea...that's why I came here to tell the story.

 

[JohnOfC]

George, I already told you ... she's gone say: we can still be friends, its studio script George.
She don't love you George, if you didn't realize from the beginning, you are emotionally attached.

Leave her, she only wants money from you.
People here thought have enough of this kind of story, I'll write it again for you, Leave her.

 

[JohnOfC]

It turned out that it was. That's all I'm going to say about it. That's part of why this got really confusing to me.

But as someone else said in this thread...probably doesn't mean as much, as she lives a continent away, in a locked down country. So maybe the point was....really just a way to try to prove something to the guy (me) in the hope of getting a lot more money? I have no idea...that's why I came here to tell the story.

They want you to stay, and regularly spend money on her.
Chaturbate you also have a model name, forgive me if it is not allowed on this site.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Awh thanks, and I'm grateful to you for the fun chats we have too

I enjoy them too! We don't do it often enough

Not getting involved in the original topic of OPs, because I saw he's already on the defensive before he even got responses. When people come to this forum and they are already on the defensive, and argumentative, I always ask myself the same thing; Then why did they post here? Another reason I don't trust and am always suspicious of these people. I'm better with people who aren't in the emotional place of their mind, and are in the planning, rational, logical part. Communication goes way smoother that way.

I get it anger is a normal part of grief/ losing something you had/ thought you had (see stages of grief and loss by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) but I'm also just not dealing with it. Too tiresome.

Counselors and Therapists get paid upwards of $200/ hr for that. I don't

Good luck thread

I agree. It's fine to point out warning signs and red flags to people but you're right about not being their therapist, certainly not pro bono!

btw, I didn't know that the stages of grief model was developed by a female Swiss psychiatrist.



!

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Chaturbate you also have a model name, forgive me if it is not allowed on this site.

I'm sorry - I don't follow what you mean here. Of course I know her model name on that site and other sites.

But yes, despite the risk and breaking rules, she did give her actual name and some other information that turned out to be real. Maybe the thought was simply I would think this would really prove the sincerity of her intentions and make me keep giving more money for "expenses"? don't know.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

What she did isn't right, that you fell for it isn't right, there's responsibility on both parts and you're both guilty. End of.

Fraud is fraud; I didn't ask for someone to incessantly lie to me for months and then even plead and cry (literally, several times) when questioned about her honesty. I would agree that my responsibility was to be aware of the potential for something like this and also to recognize it as fraud immediately. But people are scammed every day, sometimes they're just gullible, sometimes they are fairly smart but the scammer has a really good scam and / or they are just good at it. Ask anyone who lost millions with Bernie Madoff...or name just about any scam. You can always say the victims could have known better, yes. But personally, I think the scammers deserve at least a little more flak than the scammed. And honestly....I'm not even sure I would see what this model is doing is cam modeling. There was no modeling and not even any sexual discussion...I think this is just someone (or a studio) using cam sites as a forum to do these cons.

 

[Omne35]

A couple of things.
First, how do you know that the info she gave you is real? Counterfeit internal passports are easy to get in Russia if you have the money. Social media accounts are easy to set up too. I know a couple of people that have separate, very extensive, sm accounts under different names.

But beyond that I still can't quite grasp what the point of the original post was. You give a lot of detail, to put it mildly, then you say you know it's a scam. Is it simply an informational post to warn others? Do you want us to slag the model with you? Do you want us to convince you that she indeed loves you? Do you want validation that what is obviously a scam is in reality a scam? I guess that I'm just not getting it.

 

[MarieElise]

I enjoy them too! We don't do it often enough





I agree. It's fine to point out warning signs and red flags to people but you're right about not being their therapist, certainly not pro bono!

btw, I didn't know that the stages of grief model was developed by a female Swiss psychiatrist.



View attachment 94766!

Yeah I always mix her up with Keebler in my mind. Then have to remind myself; "Stages of grief not fricken cookies!"
They both do therapeutic magic... just in 2 different ways

 

[Deleted member 64633]

Fraud is fraud; I didn't ask for someone to incessantly lie to me for months and then even plead and cry (literally, several times) when questioned about her honesty. I would agree that my responsibility was to be aware of the potential for something like this and also to recognize it as fraud immediately. But people are scammed every day, sometimes they're just gullible, sometimes they are fairly smart but the scammer has a really good scam and / or they are just good at it. Ask anyone who lost millions with Bernie Madoff...or name just about any scam. You can always say the victims could have known better, yes. But personally, I think the scammers deserve at least a little more flak than the scammed. And honestly....I'm not even sure I would see what this model is doing is cam modeling. There was no modeling and not even any sexual discussion...I think this is just someone (or a studio) using cam sites as a forum to do these cons.

Oh fuck me, here we go. Maybe I should start a job in fortune telling...

 

[MarieElise]

Therapists are always understanding and patient and you will need a lot of that to get over the bitterness of being conned.

Just want to kind of amend this here. Yes, therapists are patient and often are trained to actively listen and express empathy, but it's also a therapist's job to contain conversations, and challenge long-term clients too. Even a therapist's office isn't a place where you can go and have unlimited emotional and verbal diarrhea, because it's actually not that helpful for people to perseverate unlimited on things which traumatized them. Processing that stuff doesnt happen outside a therapeutic window of emotional stimulation. It does them more pain than good. So research on the human brain, found this a while ago. Just neurobiology. A good therapist will develop rapport, support the client in developing their own goals from therapy, but will also challenge the client and present containment in many cases, as well as pacing. It is not safe for people to keep revisiting stuff repeatedly that gets them highly emotional and in an untherapeutic space of mind, with no pacing, boundaries or containment. It can also overwhelm their resources and leave them unable to function post-appointment.

So I really want to challenge some of the assumptions about Therapists. Therapists are not doing their job if they always agree and side with the client at all. When that happens therapy doesnt really progress in the slightest, and the client tends to repeatedly run into the same walls. When I was a therapist I had to treat sociopaths, narcissists, and all kinds of personality disorders and mental illness. It's really not that simple or black and white. Add insurance into the picture and therapists are actually pretty limited on what they can treat and how they can treat it.

And its really not that safe when you don't know someone from Adam or what they might be struggling with, to just let them go on and on, and present no boundaries or containment at all. There are a lot of misconceptions about Therapy and therapists. It's very different from the psychoanalytic era these days, and a lot is based on solid research on the human brain, and how it actually works, and heals. Not what you see in movies etc

 

[Omne35]

The best advice I've seen so far in this thread is to go talk to a therapist. Therapists are always understanding and patient and you will need a lot of that to get over the bitterness of being conned.

Therapists can help a lot but if they're doing their jobs they are not always understanding and patient. It's an interesting experience the first time your therapist looks you in the eye and says "bullshit". Which it was by the way. Other times she was extremely supportive and understanding. The key is knowing when to be each.

I saw one several years ago when I was going through some major depression from some losses in the family and work stress. God she hated pity parties.
Did me a world of good though.

 

[misterical]

Fraud is fraud; I didn't ask for someone to incessantly lie to me for months and then even plead and cry (literally, several times) when questioned about her honesty. I would agree that my responsibility was to be aware of the potential for something like this and also to recognize it as fraud immediately. But people are scammed every day, sometimes they're just gullible, sometimes they are fairly smart but the scammer has a really good scam and / or they are just good at it. Ask anyone who lost millions with Bernie Madoff...or name just about any scam. You can always say the victims could have known better, yes. But personally, I think the scammers deserve at least a little more flak than the scammed. And honestly....I'm not even sure I would see what this model is doing is cam modeling. There was no modeling and not even any sexual discussion...I think this is just someone (or a studio) using cam sites as a forum to do these cons.

It's not fraud though is it? Fraud would be her selling you goods or a service and you not providing them. Sounds to me like you willingly sent gifts without any expectation of anything other than continued communication - which you received.

By your own admission, you had doubts, raised them and then allowed yourself to be talked back into the con. Yes, she is unethical but somewhere you made the conscious decision that "love" was more important to you than seeing "the fucking obvious".

 

[JohnOfC]

I really don't care George, maybe she didn't mean it at all, maybe she was happy with you because she finally had money to do the things necessary for her future.
Maybe she was doing her best to keep you happy, maybe it's different than it seems, she may also be grieving now from what she would have done but didn't mean to do, hurting you.
Have you ever thought about that?
Maybe she thought she had a rich client, who actually said I love you first, I bet it was you.
Sometimes I do hire a girl for skype, and it can take hours, and yes she gets paid well by me.
Its not a fucking dating site, the girls are selling fantasies.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Fraud is fraud; I didn't ask for someone to incessantly lie to me for months and then even plead and cry (literally, several times) when questioned about her honesty. I would agree that my responsibility was to be aware of the potential for something like this and also to recognize it as fraud immediately. But people are scammed every day, sometimes they're just gullible, sometimes they are fairly smart but the scammer has a really good scam and / or they are just good at it. Ask anyone who lost millions with Bernie Madoff...or name just about any scam. You can always say the victims could have known better, yes. But personally, I think the scammers deserve at least a little more flak than the scammed. And honestly....I'm not even sure I would see what this model is doing is cam modeling. There was no modeling and not even any sexual discussion...I think this is just someone (or a studio) using cam sites as a forum to do these cons.

Forgive me if Im not tea and sympathy here, but...what do you want from us?

Everyone in this thread agrees that lovecon is wrong and that people who do it are despicable human beings. Several replies, including my own, laid out traits of this kind of scam so you can't reasonably doubt that your experience was a play. What else do you want?

 

[ArcticKitty]

Oh fuck me, here we go. Maybe I should start a job in fortune telling...

Bad model! Me lose lot of money to Natasha fantasy she broke my heart*. Bad model Bad!


*(and credit score)

 

[tokensarentforkids]

It's not fraud though is it? Fraud would be her selling you goods or a service and you not providing them. Sounds to me like you willingly sent gifts without any expectation of anything other than continued communication - which you received.

By your own admission, you had doubts, raised them and then allowed yourself to be talked back into the con. Yes, she is unethical but somewhere you made the conscious decision that "love" was more important to you than seeing "the fucking obvious".

People (mostly men) are arrested for romance scams, though I guess the amount of money determines the level of crime. But yeah, it's better to avoid being a victim. Anyway it seems the OP is mostly complaining about hurt feelings, or life not being fair? Tell her you want to meet, maybe her boyfriend/husband/cat will agree, and then what?

 

[Maxi]

I have clients in my job. If one tells me they have X to spend next year then I’m their best friend.

If next year they tell me they have zero to spend then they no longer get the best friend treatment.

I’m not condoning love scams. If I like my old client then I might stay friends but 9/10 they’re an arsehole anyway.

It’s just business.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

But beyond that I still can't quite grasp what the point of the original post was. You give a lot of detail, to put it mildly, then you say you know it's a scam. Is it simply an informational post to warn others? Do you want us to slag the model with you? Do you want us to convince you that she indeed loves you? Do you want validation that what is obviously a scam is in reality a scam? I guess that I'm just not getting it.

Couldn't that be asked of numerous posts about this same general topic that are on this site? I can't say what the point is for all of them. As for me, the point was probably several things: This was an experience I have been dealing with for awhile, with ups and downs, and I provided a lot of detail because if you've been in something like this for awhile, I thought it would be helpful to hear what others say. Especially those who work in this business who have a frame of reference. It's probably a combination of venting, wanting to get others' opinions, maybe looking for points I never thought about. There's nothing nefarious about it.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Its not a fucking dating site

Which is again why I think it's odd for a model to initiate discussions about dating, romance, visits, futures together. I mean, I hear all the admonition to the members who might fall for such a thing. But maybe the websites should post warning labels or something? Or have a code of conduct? Just a thought...

 

[misterical]

Which is again why I think it's odd for a model to initiate discussions about dating, romance, visits, futures together. I mean, I hear all the admonition to the members who might fall for such a thing. But maybe the websites should post warning labels or something? Or have a code of conduct? Just a thought...

It's not odd. The core element of a love scam is that they need you to believe that they are in love with you. It's in the name.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

It's not fraud though is it? Fraud would be her selling you goods or a service and you not providing them. Sounds to me like you willingly sent gifts without any expectation of anything other than continued communication - which you received.

Well, no contracts were signed and no legally binding agreements were in place. But let's not get legalistic... I think love cons can be considered a type of fraud...at the very least, a person is intentionally misrepresenting his/her intentions and making false statements for an ulterior motive (to obtain money). And in some cases, those kinds of situations have risen to the level of actual fraud.

 

[misterical]

Well, no contracts were signed and no legally binding agreements were in place. But let's not get legalistic... I think love cons can be considered a type of fraud...at the very least, a person is intentionally misrepresenting his/her intentions and making false statements for an ulterior motive (to obtain money). And in some cases, those kinds of situations have risen to the level of actual fraud.

Look mate. You made a James Blunt of things. Own it. We've all been milked of tokens by a model from time to time. I know I have. But at least I always got some action in return. What did you get? A new Russian hoover for her dog?