A Chip-In fund for CamillaSilf

[Deleted member 565]

I hope everything goes well for you, still keep the chip in up ladyface! I plan to donate when I get some money transferred to my paypal account. Be strong, awesome and sexy as always!

I is trying lol... and thank you btw i fucking love your pic here

Awwww thank you honey! Just remember to stay strong I've been in really rough situations before. Keep in mind that although we may all be on the internet we are all thinking of you and wishing you the best! Camgirls unite in times of trouble!

 

[camiliasilf]

I edited this a bit... as yall have been helping and i do have a cheap ass laptop now... but as I am not able to work very much right now... i changed it to a christmas tree and like a stocking and that kind of stuff for my kid now...

god i feel like i am such a beggar... i hate having to ask at all... it still the same link... just with an edited title.... please dont hate me for asking

http://camiliasilf.chipin.com/need-christmas-for-my-kid

 

[AlexLady]

Wait...

So you're not going to get a laptop like everyone wanted to help you with - so you could work for yourself and your kid - and you need more than 320 dollars for a Christmas tree and stocking?


Um... Not to be rude, but that's not very nice to the people who have contributed.

 

[Mikeythegeek]

Wait...

So you're not going to get a laptop like everyone wanted to help you with - so you could work for yourself and your kid - and you need more than 320 dollars for a Christmas tree and stocking?


Um... Not to be rude, but that's not very nice to the people who have contributed.

No, she had said that she used her MFC paycheck to get the laptop since that money got to her faster.

 

[camiliasilf]

first of all... let me say thank you so much for helping me out... I am going through a very difficult time... and well there are no words that can begin to express my gratitude. I did not deseve the help yall have offered... and yet here it is. It is very much appreciated.

Second... as soon as i verfiy my paypal account... which should take just a few more days with my bank... ill be able to claim the donations you all have sent.

I had to use my mfc pay to get the laptop... so the funds in the chipin will help me survive until my next pay.

Yall have no idea what you have done for me

alexlady... i said here that i had to use my pay to get the laptop and id use the funds in the chip in to replace what i had to spend... because i am short from not working.... please read through the post before you jump to conclusions... i have been very clear and thankful for all the help... and this is why i posted again to explain once again.

and as i havent been able to work at all, hopefully tomorrow the cable/net guy will be out... i might be able to do something with the last few says of this payperiod and ill close the thing probably...

 

[camiliasilf]

oh and btw, alex... i already feel very suck ass for even needing help... so please do forgive me for making it clear about everything ive been doing with the contriubtions... and amber forgive me but damn... i am trying my fucking best here to get back to full time camming... so i can earn for my kid and i and as i had to use most of my last pay to get the laptop and now internert hook up past thist broadband stick that wont let me have a strong enough signal to even cam....

what would you have me do... make her suffer because her momma has gotten herself into a shit hole... i am pretty sure that people will understand.... that the money already sent is replacement for what i spent and anything past that is to help with what i changed it too....

i hate myself for even having to ask.... so fucking sue me... i am so angry at the entire situation... that i allowed myself to be put in this situation.... and that i cant go to the damn store and buy my child an ice cream at the moment because i havent been able to work.... so for godsakes give me a fucking break... this is the first time in two years on mfc i have ever had a chip in or asked for help really....

I am doing everything in my ability to make this situation right.... and trust me after i get back to camming... i wont be asking for help when i dont even fucking deserve it

 

[AlexLady]

It's ok Camilla sorry I missed the post. I just have a hard spot in me for mothers who have been with someone abusive for 6 years. I mean no offense, for all I know he just changed this way.


I know you're in a tough spot. And I know it's hard. I'm glad people are helping you and your kid, really. It's just I hate it when anyone is stuck in this situation; no one deserves it.

...I just hope that when it's all over, you're not stuck in it anymore. And I fear from my own experiences that you'll still be in it.

 

[camiliasilf]

a few times over these 6 years he has hurt me... not even on a weekly basis... but there was enough time inbetween anything... with good times... that my idealistic ass thought it could change....

so have a hard spot against me... but i loved him and still do really... but in the end i did take it to the court system and this is where i am now....

and it absoulutly kills me that i caused this

 

[camiliasilf]

and alexlady, im about scared shitless about either outcome of all of this at this point... ive lost like 10lbs in the process... as i dont know what the fuck i am doing... what im supposed to be doing....

i just dont know anything right now but that i need to get back to work... and i am in the process of making that happen

 

[AlexLady]

You didn't cause this. At all. You didn't make yourself get abused.

You just stayed in a situation where you could be abused :\

...And I want you out of it. He won't change.


And I'm sorry I come accost so tough against all this, but I just fear you'll chose to be with him again for whatever reason.

 

[AlexLady]

and alexlady, im about scared shitless about either outcome of all of this at this point... ive lost like 10lbs in the process... as i dont know what the fuck i am doing... what im supposed to be doing....

Keep eating, even when you're not hungry. Make yourself eat breakfast even if you feel sick doing it.

As for what to do... just keep trying. This is when you have to be strong and get as independent as you can. I know you think a lot of your daughter; think of her now. Get to the point where you don't ever have to think about him again.

 

[camiliasilf]

i understand where you are coming from alex... i really do... but the orders are 6 months no contact except for the marital counseling they set up....

its just hard... and very scary... and i am trying to eat... but thats an entirely different issue of mine we discussed in the models section bearing its head i think

 

[AlexLady]

Alright if it's personal we can drop it. I've had eating issues too when I had PTSD.

Be careful with those no-contact things. Often it's just where he can't contact you. If you contact him--at all--you break the agreement and the contract is no longer in place.

 

[camiliasilf]

meaning i have 6 months to make myself strong to make a good decision about everything... and no, i can get into trouble if i contact him as well...

the eating thing... well ive dealt with my own eating disorder for at least 8 years now... but i dont want to add more to my seemingly pity party going on here

 

[AlexLady]

Yeah. You can do it. You just have to toughen up now and get started (and I'm sure you are.)

 

[camiliasilf]

one day at a time... in 6 months time... we shall see where i stand....

 

[camiliasilf]

and ill say this... he needs help and prayer (from my own belief system not to push it on yall) not hate... anger issues and things from his past drive it... not pure cruelty... these 6 months and counseling will tell all that needs to be told.... and everything will work out how its supposed too

at this moment in time, i am where i am supposed to be... hurting and a bit broke... but where i am supposed to be.... 6 months of counseling maybe what he needs to get hisself to the person i know he is

and the seperate counseling ill be getting outside of the marital counseling will help me with my issues

time tells all thats all im saying 6 months is a long time

 

[AlexLady]

6 months of counseling maybe what he needs to get hisself to the person i know he is

He's abused you now, and in the past. It's been 6 years. See. This isn't hate, this is disrespect. You're staying with a man who has abused you and putting your child and yourself at risk just because you love him. That's not right.

Come on Cami, you're stronger than that and you know better.

That's all I'm saying.

 

[camiliasilf]

i know alex... just one day at a time right... i am on this path for a reason... and that reason will be clear sooner or later

 

[camiliasilf]

hey i actually closed this chip in.... thanks so much for all the help yall... amber could you close this thread for me