Jessi said:
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!!!!
Woah, woah, woah. This is a "worst movies thread". How did this one get in here? It's a masterpiece! Just ask Tommy Wiseau, he'll tell ya!
"You're my favourite customer"
"Thanks a lot. Bye"
"She's a stupid bitch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?"
"Did you get your promotion?"
"Nah"
"...You didn't get it, did you?"
"I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands around my body. It excites me so much"
"I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not.... Oh hi, Mark"
"Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?"
"I have a problem with Lisa. She says that I hit her"
"What? Did you?"
"No, it's not true. Don't even ask. What's new with you?"
"I'm just sitting up here thinking, you know. I got a question for you"
"Yeah?"
"You think girls like to cheat like guys do?"
"What makes you say that?"
"I don't know. I don't know. I'm just... I'm just thinking"
"I don't have to worry about that because Lisa is loyal to me"
"Yeah, man, you'll never know. People are very strange these days. I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street"
"Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark"
"Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!"
"As far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the earth. That's a promise"
Best. Dialogue. Ever. :-D