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What can I use PM for?

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WizofAus

Banhammered
Dec 12, 2014
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Adelaide, Australia
If I find myself attracted to a model, is it acceptable to PM them on this forum to tell them so?

If so, is there a limit to what sort of details that is considered acceptable?

That is, in order of descending vulgarity

1. Hey, I think you are very attractive
2. God, you're sexy.
3. You've got great breasts/arse/pussy, etc
4. I'd do you
5. You're so fucking hot, do you want to fuck?

If it's considered acceptable, I'd likely only take the compliments as far as no. 3, but want to make sure it's not disrespectful to do so. The other two are to put the third compliment into some form of context and reduce its vulgarity.

Further to this, it is my understanding that it would be considered acceptable to make any of the first three comments where I have struck up a conversation with a model, regarding a custom video, and I am complimenting them on being the perfect choice

Ie you have the perfect body that I am looking for, lovely pert breasts, nice flat stomach, and a nice tight pussy.

The thing is, would that example be an acceptable comment to send to a model purely as a compliment using the forums PM?
 
If you do this I would suggest only using compliment number one and only if it is in the context of asking for a custom video. I see no problem in pm-ing a model asking what site she sells custom videos on or if she even does. Not all models have all their links in their signature. You would probably need to go to said site to talk further though :)
 
Thanks for the feedback. I will only respond, under the right set of circumstances, with a compliment if I have been contacted in the first instance by a model, otherwise I will find out their cam site and do the complimenting there.

It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful. Now I realise circumstances do come into play, if it was late at night and they were walking down a dark alleyway by themselves, then maybe not, but if it was during the day and in a crowded public place?
 
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WizofAus said:
Thanks for the feedback. I will only respond, under the right set of circumstances, with a compliment if I have been contacted in the first instance by a model, otherwise I will find out their cam site and do the complimenting there.

It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful. Now I realise circumstances do come into play, if it was late at night and they were walking down a dark alleyway by themselves, then maybe not, but if it was during the day and in a crowded public place?

One of my favorite compliments of all time was in a restaurant where some random guy told me I had such a beautiful face. It's silly but he seemed so genuine and he was complimenting my face. I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with telling a woman she is beautiful. But in pm it's a one on one atmosphere. If I got that pm Id say thank you and then wonder (perhaps wrongly) what you wanted. On a camming site where you said the exact same thing I'd say "oh wow thank you" and that would easily transform into a conversation.
 
WizofAus said:
It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful.
WizofAus said:
1. Hey, I think you are very attractive
2. God, you're sexy.
3. You've got great breasts/arse/pussy, etc
4. I'd do you
5. You're so fucking hot, do you want to fuck?

None of the above 'compliments' you proposed above come close to telling someone you think they are beautiful though do they? Maybe the 'I think you are very attractive', but would you really stop a woman in her tracks to tell her that?
 
WizofAus said:
It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful. Now I realise circumstances do come into play, if it was late at night and they were walking down a dark alleyway by themselves, then maybe not, but if it was during the day and in a crowded public place?

I am a strong advocate of leaving women, and people in general, that you don't know alone. Especially out on the street. Unless what you are going to say to them is meant to help them, like telling someone their backpack zipper is wide open, or letting someone know their shoes are untied and they might trip. I can't speak for all women, but I know that many women (myself included) do not appreciate unsolicited comments on their appearance/body/attractiveness while out in public places. Especially if the "complementer" feels the need to make us stop what we're doing to pay attention to them. We're just trying to run errands, or catch a bus, or go to school, we're not out on the street to be pretty for strangers.

Cam sites are different. We are on cam sites to interact and part of that interaction is being attractive to the members in our room. On a cam site it is perfectly acceptable to start off by telling her you think she's attractive. Models are prepared to receive complements while working their shift on their site. Being polite and not vulgar right off the bat will definitely help too.

That being said not all women feel the way I do because we're all individuals. Some will be extremely flattered to have a stranger tell them they're beautiful. I would not be. I would probably ignore you if you tried to stop me to talk to me. I got shit to do man! If I'm outside it's because I got places to go! Get outta my way not time to be pretty! :lol:
 
LailaBaise said:
WizofAus said:
It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful.
WizofAus said:
1. Hey, I think you are very attractive
2. God, you're sexy.
3. You've got great breasts/arse/pussy, etc
4. I'd do you
5. You're so fucking hot, do you want to fuck?

None of the above 'compliments' you proposed above come close to telling someone you think they are beautiful though do they? Maybe the 'I think you are very attractive', but would you really stop a woman in her tracks to tell her that?

Yo baby baby, it's chilly out here... can I use your thighs as earmuffs please? Furthermore, are you from Iraq? Cos I love the way you Baghdad ass up... on to my dick... amirite? Guys? I'm an astronaut on a mission to explore the inner limits... of Uranus... um, are you a chicken farmer? You've done a serviceable job of raising cocks... most notably the one in my pants, yo... all of this is to say I think you're very beautiful and I respect you as a woman :shifty:

For reals though, confronting a woman to tell her you think she's hot strikes me as pretty tacky. Especially if she's by herself :twocents-02cents:
 
WizofAus said:
It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful. Now I realise circumstances do come into play, if it was late at night and they were walking down a dark alleyway by themselves, then maybe not, but if it was during the day and in a crowded public place?
It depends a lot on the culture of the person you are talking to. If you live in an Anglo country/Northern Europe, it is generally frowned upon. You can also stumble upon the type of misandrist feminist who support the Schrödinger rapist concept.
You also need to understand that the people you'll approach probably get compliments very often, if not daily; even if you are well intentioned, yours doesn't matter much.
None of the things you have listed are acceptable compliments by the way.
 
VallieBeuys said:
I would probably ignore you if you tried to stop me to talk to me. I got shit to do man! If I'm outside it's because I got places to go! Get outta my way not time to be pretty! :lol:

To continue to derail the topic, do you ever go out to be noticed?

Is there a time when you aren't out on a mission, but rather just kicking back and happy to have a compliment thrown your way. Again, I'm still talking about random compliments, and not someone's serious determination to get to know you better. Or is it preferable to just be ogled from a distance. Having someone perv on you, though something in itself you'd prefer didn't happen, is the preference to being approached.

To take this one step further and likely stray into the dangerous territory of 'they were asking for it' (not something I believe or condone). Is going to the beach wearing a Wicked Weasel to be considered attention seeking and therefore signalling you are receptive to compliments? Does getting dressed up in the skimpiest outfits for a night 'on the town', also fall into this category?

Is there ever a signal as such or is it better to err on the side of caution, and only act if you were to lock eyes (in which case I will continue to stare at every beautiful woman I come across in the hope one might return my gaze). :) Only joking. :shifty:
 
WizofAus said:
3. You've got great breasts/arse/pussy, etc

Only acceptable if the PM reads exactly like this. :lol:
 
mynameisbob84 said:
For reals though, confronting a woman to tell her you think she's hot strikes me as pretty tacky. Especially if she's by herself :twocents-02cents:

As I've said, I have derailed the topic, intentionally.

In all honesty the original question was a polite way of finding out if this forum is an off duty lounge for the cam models to relax or one that is an extension of the various cam sites chat rooms they frequent.

The initial post has been answered, and those 5 options were to do with sending a PM to members within this forum, and not what I would say to a woman on the street, even if we were both smashed, and I was, for want of another word, 'hitting' on them. The exception being "1. I think you are very attractive"

The more recent posts are merely a discussion about if it is ever acceptable to, in passing, compliment a woman on her attractiveness. It definitely wouldn't be a shirt front, path blocking confrontation, but rather a polite statement as we passed by each other. It wouldn't be anything tacky either, but rather a nice compliment.
 
AriaGray said:
Honestly, he is asking beforehand and thanked us for responding. He already has most members beat.

I think it only proper etiquette that if I have raised a topic and members have taken the time to respond that I should thank them for doing so.
 
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WizofAus said:
To continue to derail the topic, do you ever go out to be noticed?

Only if I'm at a bar, and then only some of the time. Sometimes, I'm just there for the drag show. My outfit honestly will not indicate this clearly. I like wearing things that show off my boobs, because I like to look at my boobs. I don't care if some person across the bar thinks my tits look nice. I'm showing them off so I can flirt with myself every time I pass a mirror. :lol:
 
Is it okay to compliment random strangers in public?

No.

But I'm British and basically hitting on people you do not know and have not spoken to is very creepy behaviour in this part of the world.
You've mentioned proper etiquette in the thread with regards to thanking people's comments, but in this part of the world what you're asking about is definitely not proper etiquette. Seems a bit strange there's such a large difference between what you consider proper etiquette! :p Guessing responses will change based on countries and culture.
 
I think Eclipse's link answered the op's 2nd question perfectly. I'd never heard the term before but the article is absolutely perfect in its simplicity. If you find a woman in public attractive spend a good few seconds reading her body language you will know, in your gut, if she's interested in even making further eye contact with you. If she's not - back the fuck away.
 
For this forum I would only PM based on forum topics others have posted (Perhaps to expand a point where a public post would be inappropriate).
It is a little indelicate to ask for model attention during downtime. I would save any compliments for public posts, or for when/ if you visit her on her site.

Though it should be no issue asking where you can find a model to meet her during her working hours. I would first recommend looking at her ACF profile, the links to her site are usually there.
Many models also advertise here in the 'Models advertise here' board that AmberC. has assigned, so searching there often gives links to other things that each model offers.
So my recommendation would be to save PM for last option, and to keep any messages appropriate to a forum.
 
I pretty much only use PM with models if I feel like the topic at hand shouldn't be public, whether it is regarding private shows or just private chat.

I wouldn't barrage them with PMs though unless you know each other well enough and are comfortable enough with each other to do so.

With a very select couple of models, I only chat with them in PMs. The rest, public.
 
I prefer not to be approached/complimented in public unless it's like "hey, I love your boots!" (and it's usually women who give those sort of compliments, in my experience, often followed by "can you tell me where you got them?!").

Most of the 'compliments' I get from men in public have just been creepy as fuck, honestly. :hand:
 
WizofAus said:
Thanks for the feedback. I will only respond, under the right set of circumstances, with a compliment if I have been contacted in the first instance by a model, otherwise I will find out their cam site and do the complimenting there.

It does raise an interesting question though, is it considered socially unacceptable to approach a complete stranger in the street and tell her that you think she is beautiful. Now I realise circumstances do come into play, if it was late at night and they were walking down a dark alleyway by themselves, then maybe not, but if it was during the day and in a crowded public place?

...I tried to quote your post, but accidently thanked it as well. Ooops!

I'm completely fine with someone approaching me when I'm out and about if they say something respectful.

Pretty, attractive, beautiful, etc. I had a guy approach me in Houston when I lived there. He told me, "I'm sorry, I just had to tell you that you're very pretty. You should consider modeling." I must say that it made my day! Especially since I was used to everyone just ignoring everyone else. I walked around with my blinders on all of the time.

Where I live now, it's a more rural area, and most people are super friendly. I say hi to strangers all the time in stores now because it's normal here. It took some getting used to when I moved here. I'm maybe more open to it even now because I'm used to people talking to me when I'm running errands.

As far as clothing, I don't really dress sexy when I'm out to attract guys and get compliments. I normally just do it for myself. So I FEEL sexy!
 
Mostly wasting the time of your fellow forum members. If done right one can draw them into long drawn out conversations on all manner of things. You need to start out slowly at first, then once they are engaged PM them with a 1500-2500 word rambling essay on 4 or 5 brand new subjects having nothing at all to do with what you first started talking/PMing about. Also, be careful not to finish any of your thoughts on anything to give your fellow forum member room to jump in on any of the subjects they find pleasing, (this also keeps you from painting yourself into a corner unable to change direction mid-stream, or giving the false impression that you have any strong beliefs on anything), and in case nothing suites their fancy, add some story, (real or made up) of some current or past personal tragedy so they at least can be sympathetic. (It is the only polite thing to do. ppl I think can feel unimportant if you leave them nothing to reply to - though it does happen sometimes no matter how careful you are.)

And, if all goes well, you will know it because you will get some indication you have won their acceptances as a PM master, and you no longer need to PM them, and can move on to gain another forum member's seal of approval. (By seal of approval, I mean what ever personal tag has been chosen for you. I doubt you will get one any better than mine. It's a bit quirky, but I really like the nic of IGGY, one chosen for me not long after I became a forum member. I have liked Iggy ever since that punk rock dude used it for his band Iggy and the Blow Fish.)

I have heard of other uses for PM's, but I don't recall what any of them were right off, but all seemed quite nonsensical compared to the proper use I have described above. If you have any questions, or need more detail, feel free to PM me. ;)
 
Most models do not like to constantly be engaging in conversation while they're not on cam. This includes, but is not limited to, texting, Twittering, PMing, emailing, or conversing on blogs/Tumblr/etc. Yes, it is possible and common to become friends with a model. And she can begin to enjoy your company, so she might go out of her way to engage you. If this happens, great! If not, it's best to keep your conversations to pertinent things: a simple hello, a compliment, a question about purchasable content. If the model responds and tries to continue the conversation (eg: asking a question that requires an answer), keep chatting her up! If she does not reply, only acknowledges your message (by thanking or favoriting it), or tells you that she will get back to you at a later time, do not continue to message her about the same subject. This behavior is often frowned upon and is the quickest way to get on her blocked list.


Think of messaging a model similar to texting a friend. If your friend only responds with "cool" or "ok" to everything you send, you're going to realize they're busy or don't want to talk. If they ask for details or continue the conversation, you know you have their interest. Don't be that guy who makes the model dread reading her PMs/emails.
 
I_Am_Iris said:
Most models do not like to constantly be engaging in conversation while they're not on cam. This includes, but is not limited to, texting, Twittering, PMing, emailing, or conversing on blogs/Tumblr/etc. Yes, it is possible and common to become friends with a model. And she can begin to enjoy your company, so she might go out of her way to engage you. If this happens, great! If not, it's best to keep your conversations to pertinent things: a simple hello, a compliment, a question about purchasable content. If the model responds and tries to continue the conversation (eg: asking a question that requires an answer), keep chatting her up! If she does not reply, only acknowledges your message (by thanking or favoriting it), or tells you that she will get back to you at a later time, do not continue to message her about the same subject. This behavior is often frowned upon and is the quickest way to get on her blocked list.


Think of messaging a model similar to texting a friend. If your friend only responds with "cool" or "ok" to everything you send, you're going to realize they're busy or don't want to talk. If they ask for details or continue the conversation, you know you have their interest. Don't be that guy who makes the model dread reading her PMs/emails.

:clap:

Can I copy and paste this to guys who annoy me with DMs/messages/emails in the future?

Worded brilliantly :)
 
GracieHart said:
I_Am_Iris said:
Most models do not like to constantly be engaging in conversation while they're not on cam. This includes, but is not limited to, texting, Twittering, PMing, emailing, or conversing on blogs/Tumblr/etc. Yes, it is possible and common to become friends with a model. And she can begin to enjoy your company, so she might go out of her way to engage you. If this happens, great! If not, it's best to keep your conversations to pertinent things: a simple hello, a compliment, a question about purchasable content. If the model responds and tries to continue the conversation (eg: asking a question that requires an answer), keep chatting her up! If she does not reply, only acknowledges your message (by thanking or favoriting it), or tells you that she will get back to you at a later time, do not continue to message her about the same subject. This behavior is often frowned upon and is the quickest way to get on her blocked list.


Think of messaging a model similar to texting a friend. If your friend only responds with "cool" or "ok" to everything you send, you're going to realize they're busy or don't want to talk. If they ask for details or continue the conversation, you know you have their interest. Don't be that guy who makes the model dread reading her PMs/emails.

:clap:

Can I copy and paste this to guys who annoy me with DMs/messages/emails in the future?

Worded brilliantly :)
I would not disagree that what is there is nicely worded, but it leaves out one other possibility. I will admit it is the exception rather than the rule, but when a model replies to a member she is not always going out of her way to continue the conversation. Members need to be aware that models are generally much more popular than any member, and that for the most part are not here to socialize with members. Though right off the top of my head, I can think of three models who I had extended PM conversation with. At times I spent more time in PM than in public, and I was barely keeping up my half of the conversation.

But I don't want to get any angry PM's behind this ^^^^^^ so guys use common sense, and if you don't get a reply right off she's prolly busy, and accept :) ... :)
 
Sevrin said:
Tip notes are my preferred way to initiate a conversation with a model. They show that you understand that the model's time is valuable, and that you appreciate her attention.
[Shifting to cam site PM'ing] I have yet to tip/buy my way onto a model's friend list. I have just never felt the need. And, yes, imo tip notes are an appreciative, and much classier way to say something private to a working (cam up) model, than using your PM privilege. Again imo PM'ing a model more than occasionally, especially in a very busy room can (I would think) feel like an abuse of PM priv. I very rarely PM, and almost always in reply, and just as often reply W/a 5 token ninja. (Though my motivation in doing so is partly b/c I don't do multiple windows well.) Whether tip note or PM, they should be kept as short as possible, and singular in breath. In a busy room I'm always surprised when a model seems to be keeping up with chat, tip notes, and PM's. (If you have never visited Sophialocke's room there are many reasons you are missing out, but if only to watch the amazing speed with which she reads and comprehends a huge amount of input when things get busy, it is worth a visit!)

Back to PM'ing here @ACF - PM's can sometimes be used to work out something posted that came across as more personal than just a disagreement. We all get our little feelers hurt sometimes, and instead of replying to something like that in public, you have the option to address the person without any feeling of all eyes being on you. Text is not the same as verbal communications, and in the differences I sometimes don't feel confident that how something sounded to me, is actually the way it was meant. You can find out in a reply post as well, but risk, if you are wrong, looking like an overly sensitive boob.

Below is an example of an even more complex use of quoting part of a PM for use it a public post. (Though one should not quote any but their own PM for obvious reasons, unless you can be sure the other party cares not, and then only as the anon other.)

camstory said:
Hi love, Just quickly, you are one of those three,
https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 19#p565897
and I dig you for it. (I just got a bit insulted, not by Iris's thought, but by her, 'I'm all that' tone. Does she really think that little of us pervs, that the only reason anyone ever talks to us, is when they're "going out of their way"? NM, you don't have to answer that, but you can prolly tell I'm still a bit insulted.)

So, I hope you are well & happy. I'm ...
 
camstory said:
Sevrin said:
Tip notes are my preferred way to initiate a conversation with a model. They show that you understand that the model's time is valuable, and that you appreciate her attention.
[Shifting to cam site PM'ing] I have yet to tip/buy my way onto a model's friend list. I have just never felt the need. And, yes, imo tip notes are an appreciative, and much classier way to say something private to a working (cam up) model, than using your PM privilege. Again imo PM'ing a model more than occasionally, especially in a very busy room can (I would think) feel like an abuse of PM priv. I very rarely PM, and almost always in reply, and just as often reply W/a 5 token ninja. (Though my motivation in doing so is partly b/c I don't do multiple windows well.) Whether tip note or PM, they should be kept as short as possible, and singular in breath. In a busy room I'm always surprised when a model seems to be keeping up with chat, tip notes, and PM's. (If you have never visited Sophialocke's room there are many reasons you are missing out, but if only to watch the amazing speed with which she reads and comprehends a huge amount of input when things get busy, it is worth a visit!)

Back to PM'ing here @ACF - PM's can sometimes be used to work out something posted that came across as more personal than just a disagreement. We all get our little feelers hurt sometimes, and instead of replying to something like that in public, you have the option to address the person without any feeling of all eyes being on you. Text is not the same as verbal communications, and in the differences I sometimes don't feel confident that how something sounded to me, is actually the way it was meant. You can find out in a reply post as well, but risk, if you are wrong, looking like an overly sensitive boob.

Below is an example of an even more complex use of quoting part of a PM for use it a public post. (Though one should not quote any but their own PM for obvious reasons, unless you can be sure the other party cares not, and then only as the anon other.)

camstory said:
Hi love, Just quickly, you are one of those three,
https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 19#p565897
and I dig you for it. (I just got a bit insulted, not by Iris's thought, but by her, 'I'm all that' tone. Does she really think that little of us pervs, that the only reason anyone ever talks to us, is when they're "going out of their way"? NM, you don't have to answer that, but you can prolly tell I'm still a bit insulted.)

So, I hope you are well & happy. I'm ...

Keep us posted if your ploy to get Iris to pm you worked! I feel like I should take notes and am learning from the master.
I also feel like I just ruined a great joke. :oops:
 
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