Venting ...

[AmberCole]

Hello ! Hope everyone is having a good day! I am a new cam model on MFC, and it’s been a fairly positive experience so far, until today! LOL. Firstly, I had my first experience being bullied by a member. He kept demanding things from me very impolitely and, without tipping, telling me to perform various acts for him as well as telling me to “lay back slut”. When I did comply with one of his requests and showed him what he wanted to see for a very small tip, he began to body shame me. I banned him, but he continued to message me and ask me to un-ban him and let him back into my room. I tried to continue camming and not let it bother me, but I felt the tears welling up and just couldn’t keep myself from crying any longer and had to cut my session short and sign off. I know I need to get a thicker skin if I’m going to be doing this, because I know he won’t be the last. But it just hurt my feelings no matter how hard I tried to just roll my eyes and let it go.

SECONDLY, a different member propositioned me to be his submissive and told me he would pay me $450 every two weeks for 4-6 hours a week of my time through either Skype or Snapchat. I don’t normally agree to things outside of the cam site due to scams and things, but the amount of money made me agree to it. I then sent him a message saying “if you are still going to follow through on your offer, explain when and how we can get started and what your expectations are so that I can make sure I please and satisfy you the best I can”. His reply was ... “will do”. Which to me signals that he is not serious about his offer and is not planning on following through. So I feel my time and energy was wasted and I’m pissed off because of it. I guess it’s one of those things where if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

UGH! Sorry for the long post. Lol

 

[JigglesJane]

I'm sorry girl. I think we've all been through some shitty first days. We all go through some shitty veteran days too, but the thicker skin you're growing helps. That and friends on the model-side of the business.

The first member will continue to harass you. I highly suggest keeping his ban in place (is it a lifetime ban?) AND ignoring him. That way his attempts to contact you and distract you can't make it through. This guy sounds very familiar to me and I probably have run into him in the past. Shoot me a DM and I can confirm for you and go make him cry onto his tiny dick.

I highly suggest doing the same with the second member. In my experience, guys who want to dom are never ever going to pay their submissive. Keep your business on MFC and stay away from skype, at least until you are more experienced.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I know it's just a vent, and you haven't asked for advice. But I think this is a common experience for new cam peeps, and since this is a post in the public section, I'll add my two cents for any other new folks going through something similar.

This job requires both strong self-esteem and strong boundaries if you want to stick with it for long.

Anyone who comes to your workplace with the sole intention of tearing you down has issues within that they need to work on. It has nothing to do with you. Block and ban, take their power away if their actions are hurting you and your business. But don't take it personally. There are a lot of sad, lonely morons on the internet with nothing better to do. Fuck them! (I mean don't fuck them, no one is fucking them, and no one should fuck them.) Make your money. Spite money is my personal favorite kind of money.

My advice to anyone receiving "offers" from members who don't know you at all but act like they are looking for something longterm: Ignore. You don't know them, they don't know you. Why would either party want to lock themselves into weeks of interaction with someone they've just barely met? Sure, these kinds of arrangements can work out great for both involved, but it's something that grows organically after you've gotten to know each other a bit. When people come at me with outlandish shit like this, I tell them I will require that we have regular sessions first before I am open to discussing anything longterm. Judging by the number of members who have followed through with that, I can say with great confidence that you aren't missing out on shit.

Side note: $450 for 8-12 hours of skype is way too low, you are worth more than that. Plus, you have to think of all the unpaid time in between shows that he is going to be expecting your attention (assuming this arrangement wasn't bullshit from the gate). Because when they buy bulk skype, many of them seem to think that entitles them to free chit-chat until they've used up their paid time. Really great way to waste your time and energy. Even if not buying bulk skype and instead simply paying for a single show, most of them seem to think that because they have your contact info, that gives them free reign to chat you up whenever. It's a hassle, and you need to be strict with your boundaries.

That is the best overall advice I can give: Figure out how you want to run your business, what your goals are, and what you are comfortable with. And stick to it. The more firm you are from the beginning, the more likely it is that you will head these bullshitters off at the pass.

 

[Sansa]

If it helps, on MFC, you'll have to give him both a lifetime ban and an ignore. Bans only prevent someone from accessing your chat room while you cam, they can still private message you. Ignoring prevents you from seeing any of their messages, but does not ban them from your room. You have to both ban and ignore to keep someone out of your room and from messaging you.

I know that sounds convoluted, but each have their uses. Rude people get banned, and depending on the level of rudeness, I might not ignore them. If they beg to be unbanned, I make them pay for it. The vast majority get both a ban and an ignore though.

It takes time to develop a thick skin about stuff. Blocking guests and basics will help because most of them are just trolls anyway. There will always be some rude people, but banning at least shows them that they're so much of a loser than even on the internet they're not wanted, so there's some satisfaction in that.

 

[Gia_Xo]

Body shaming just sucks and I am sorry you had to experience that. But we all do. Part of the game. BUT, I am betting you get 100x more compliments than rude comments, yea? It's hard to let it roll off, but you will learn to. I checked out your MFC profile, and you are too pretty to worry about one loser who could probably never score anyone like you IRL. I have been told I was ugly, have saggy tits, etc. I now laugh at it. Then I tell them I feel sorry for them. Then I silence. You have to learn to focus on the good over the bad. Like I said, though, you will toughen up and it won't even affect you eventually.
The other guy....well, you are going to run into people who are full of promises and offers all the time. Always be cautious. If it sounds too good to be true IT IS. You'll learn how to sniff them out, too.
All of this comes in time.

 

[ameliababyxo]

While yes this job does take a thick skin and confidence, those are things that grow over time.
Just try to focus on the members who you enjoy talking with and who are tipping you and complimenting you.
Honestly once you have a group of good regulars, they’ll probably shut up anyone who comes into your room just to troll you.

That’s what that guy is, a troll. A dumb ugly smelly troll, who is so messed up that he finds bullying some stranger online just trying to do her job.

You got this!!

And hanging out here is definitely the perfect thing to do when this happens, we all get it.

I recommend getting verified as a model so that you can check out the “things members say” thread in models only. You’ll see that we all deal with guys like that, no matter how confident and successful we are. You’ll also see good examples of how to handle it and let it roll off you instead of hurting.

 

[Natalie_Lavender]

member propositioned me to be his submissive and told me he would pay me $450 every two weeks for 4-6 hours a week of my time through either Skype or Snapchat.

I’m not on MFC, but I get emails in my dedicated cam email like this at least a couple times a month. They are almost always copy/pasted in appearance. I never even reply. Good to experience it early & learn that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Also.....
Huge hugs on the experience with the first jerk. And yes, unfortunately there will be others. Sometimes I get a body shaming troll in my room, but I’ve found a good way to engage them so they never bother me again. Because sometimes banning them, only fuels the game & they create a new account and return. I know I’m not the skinniest/prettiest girl on cam, and definitely not as confident irl as I am on cam. But when they point out a flaw that I also might be self-conscious of, I say out loud in my room “that might be true, but look at how many others are in here enjoying every inch of me”. Which gives me a little confidence boost, they usually leave & then users start tipping to show they agree with the statement. If it’s slow in my room, I like to play with them like a lion playing with its food before it devours it. I’ve had one actually blatantly admit, after failing to insult me, that he does because he’s just bored at work & it entertains him. But my comebacks were entertaining enough for him that he converted to a tipper. That isn’t always going to be the case though.

As an older cam model, I've had some pretty horrible things said sometimes. But truly these dirt bags are targeting every model, even if they look perfect, because in reality we all have at least one insecurity. I’m sure they get off trying to break us.

I’m probably rambling now, but my point is that this industry can break you, but only if you let it. I promise that you will have more members that adore every part of you, inside & out, than you’ll have trolls who harass you.

 

[AmberCole]

I'm sorry girl. I think we've all been through some shitty first days. We all go through some shitty veteran days too, but the thicker skin you're growing helps. That and friends on the model-side of the business.

The first member will continue to harass you. I highly suggest keeping his ban in place (is it a lifetime ban?) AND ignoring him. That way his attempts to contact you and distract you can't make it through. This guy sounds very familiar to me and I probably have run into him in the past. Shoot me a DM and I can confirm for you and go make him cry onto his tiny dick.

I highly suggest doing the same with the second member. In my experience, guys who want to dom are never ever going to pay their submissive. Keep your business on MFC and stay away from skype, at least until you are more experienced.

Thank you so much for the advice girl. After writing this post I’m going to DM you with his name he actually did keep trying to contact me even after I banned him. I didn’t realize I had to ban AND ignore him; I was thinking my ban just didn’t work since he kept writing me! But yeah when I go on tonight the first thing I’m going to do is put a lifetime Ban and ignore on him!! And thanks for the advice on staying away from Skype and keeping business on MFC. I was questioning if I was doing the right thing when turning down offers for jobs outside MFC, but now I know I’m doing the right thing !

 

[AmberCole]

Body shaming just sucks and I am sorry you had to experience that. But we all do. Part of the game. BUT, I am betting you get 100x more compliments than rude comments, yea? It's hard to let it roll off, but you will learn to. I checked out your MFC profile, and you are too pretty to worry about one loser who could probably never score anyone like you IRL. I have been told I was ugly, have saggy tits, etc. I now laugh at it. Then I tell them I feel sorry for them. Then I silence. You have to learn to focus on the good over the bad. Like I said, though, you will toughen up and it won't even affect you eventually.
The other guy....well, you are going to run into people who are full of promises and offers all the time. Always be cautious. If it sounds too good to be true IT IS. You'll learn how to sniff them out, too.
All of this comes in time.

Body shaming really does suck! The saggy tits insult is EXACTLY what he said to me. And you’re right, I bet it’s because they’re bitter because they can’t get anyone like us in real life! Yeah I’ve definitely gotten more compliments than insults thankfully, and thank you for YOUR compliment !!! You are insanely gorgeous yourself !!!