Things Members Say That Make You Go "WTF?"

[SophiaLocke]

In GoddessZoey's room tonight:

waogo: I'd fuck a breadbowl.
waogo: so long as it didn't get crumbs up my dickhole

No idea what the context was, since i was just stopping in for a peek-n-perv, but i WTFed. He's a funny dude.

 

[KeelyAimee]

This guy was PMing me on Chaturbate the other day telling me how him and his sister were watching me.

him: my sister thinks you look really good sucking your dildo
me: cool! tell her i say thanks
him: shes gonna use your tricks and suck my dick 2night
me: neat, have fun.
him: yeah she's my sister but she likes when i fuck her ass at night
me: you guys must be really close, that's nice.

-___-

lol you handled him really well

He obviously wanted me to freak out on him or something, I was just doing the obvious of what he wanted. Gotta outsmart the 'tards.

 

[Megaclit]

MrKnowBody: have you ever seen a man suck his own cock?

Where do these freaks come from?

They are your neighbors, your bosses, your co-workers, your employees, your doctors. No kidding. Next time you're at the doc and he tells you to wait one minute while he "finishes up with another" patient.... yeah. He's racing back to his favourite cam girl for a quick wank

 

[ComicOzzie]

Someone has anger issues

liquid18: babe seeing your pussy and your ass give me desire to fuck you up

 

[Jessi]

Am I the only one who doesn't find autofellatio completely bizarre?
Paying someone to watch you do it though...

 

[Megaclit]

Sometimes I love LiveJasmin:

guest 2: thats what im sayin!!! wheres this mega clit?
guest 8: where a megaclit?

And then I couldn't get "Old MacDonald had a farm...." out of my head

 

[Jupiter551]

Am I the only one who doesn't find autofellatio completely bizarre?
Paying someone to watch you do it though...

I guess I don't find it completely bizarre in that it doesn't surprise me that people do it, but not like it's going to feel the same as a blowjob from another person - just like you can't really massage yourself.

 

[MadisonLeigh]

While discussing Michigan weather:

jimmy046692: rub dat snow on ur nipps

 

[Keithy]

So I'm on a website and a livejasmin window opens. I look and see someone post this:

"I'm ready to inside my penis. oh."

What the fuck does that mean?

 

[AedanRayne]

Oh boy! I get the best emails... I am ready to go after reading this... :lol:

your body looks so good to me ..i'm stroking my cock now baby thinking about you........i'm thinking of being on my knees with you standing legs apart and i'm licking, sucking all ur sweet, hot pussy juices until you get weak in the knees and cum all over my face! Then slide down to me and i'm sucking ur breasts and my cock is so hard as i turn u over on ur stomach and lick ur ass and slide my hard 9 1/2 black dick in ur pussy from behind and massage ur clit with my fingers....mmmmmmmmmmmfeels good u playing with my dick........sucking my dick like only you can baby ......yes i'm on top on u with ur legs spead open and ur pussy dripping wet...............i'm putting the head in teasing u and then slide my brown dick into ur lovely pink pussy deep baby......then fucking you up and down...........til i cum deep inside your wet pussy love with all my hot cum..FUCKING U NOW LOVE

 

[Rose]

Oh boy! I get the best emails... I am ready to go after reading this... :lol:

your body looks so good to me ..i'm stroking my cock now baby thinking about you........i'm thinking of being on my knees with you standing legs apart and i'm licking, sucking all ur sweet, hot pussy juices until you get weak in the knees and cum all over my face! Then slide down to me and i'm sucking ur breasts and my cock is so hard as i turn u over on ur stomach and lick ur ass and slide my hard 9 1/2 black dick in ur pussy from behind and massage ur clit with my fingers....mmmmmmmmmmmfeels good u playing with my dick........sucking my dick like only you can baby ......yes i'm on top on u with ur legs spead open and ur pussy dripping wet...............i'm putting the head in teasing u and then slide my brown dick into ur lovely pink pussy deep baby......then fucking you up and down...........til i cum deep inside your wet pussy love with all my hot cum..FUCKING U NOW LOVE

I loled so hard at that I almost peed. That's freakin hilarious!!

 

[Jupiter551]

Oh boy! I get the best emails... I am ready to go after reading this... :lol:

your body looks so good to me ..i'm stroking my cock now baby thinking about you........i'm thinking of being on my knees with you standing legs apart and i'm licking, sucking all ur sweet, hot pussy juices until you get weak in the knees and cum all over my face! Then slide down to me and i'm sucking ur breasts and my cock is so hard as i turn u over on ur stomach and lick ur ass and slide my hard 9 1/2 black dick in ur pussy from behind and massage ur clit with my fingers....mmmmmmmmmmmfeels good u playing with my dick........sucking my dick like only you can baby ......yes i'm on top on u with ur legs spead open and ur pussy dripping wet...............i'm putting the head in teasing u and then slide my brown dick into ur lovely pink pussy deep baby......then fucking you up and down...........til i cum deep inside your wet pussy love with all my hot cum..FUCKING U NOW LOVE

:lol: :lol: Points to him for at least somewhat making sense and making it so I could visualize it. I still can not visualize "open tits". :lol:

True but he needs to mention something about his skintone at the start so you aren't visualising an asian, white or hispanic dude til halfway through when he drops in his "9 1/2 black dick" outta nowhere lol.

 

[Jupiter551]

Sometimes I love LiveJasmin:

guest 2: thats what im sayin!!! wheres this mega clit?
guest 8: where a megaclit?

And then I couldn't get "Old MacDonald had a farm...." out of my head

Hahahha :music-singing: "here a clit, there a clit, everywhere a megaclit"

 

[AmberCutie]

My usual "pm her when she's offline so she can see my message" guy.

my beautiful princess, always seek you with all my love and passion, I really love being with you, I'm looking for a beautiful woman, you are so beautiful, you're a perfect woman, you've got beautiful eyes, now in my room thinking of you, whether I think all day to find you, and every day I think you make love to you, I feel your kisses and caresses, and feel like you ejaculate inside you, feel like we are one moment, and feel your warmth of a woman, feel your soft skin, feeling your soft lips, I want to lick, to cuddling with my hand and my tongue in your pussy, drink your juices vaginal, and say I love you my beautiful queen, I love you now and forever

Bolded and underlined part is my favorite.

 

[RogueWarrior]

My usual "pm her when she's offline so she can see my message" guy.

my beautiful princess, always seek you with all my love and passion, I really love being with you, I'm looking for a beautiful woman, you are so beautiful, you're a perfect woman, you've got beautiful eyes, now in my room thinking of you, whether I think all day to find you, and every day I think you make love to you, I feel your kisses and caresses, and feel like you ejaculate inside you, feel like we are one moment, and feel your warmth of a woman, feel your soft skin, feeling your soft lips, I want to lick, to cuddling with my hand and my tongue in your pussy, drink your juices vaginal, and say I love you my beautiful queen, I love you now and forever

Bolded and underlined part is my favorite.

Hell, there were 10 lol's before I even got to that classic line.

 

[NoelleBright]

Uhhhm so I was just in the most racist chat room ever. Usually I like the girl and she has a ton of people in her room. Not today, I wonder why. The WHOLE CHAT was like this.

MrVerger: ban all niggers permanently
MrVerger: aight?
MrVerger: niggers destroy your vaginas
.......
MrVerger: like all these nervous junky niggers that want to sell it quickly
.........
MrVerger: lol
MrVerger: and once your neighbor was a nigger that worked as a reepoman
MrVerger: right?

 

[AmberCutie]

Uhhhm so I was just in the most racist chat room ever. Usually I like the girl and she has a ton of people in her room. Not today, I wonder why. The WHOLE CHAT was like this.

MrVerger: ban all niggers permanently
MrVerger: aight?
MrVerger: niggers destroy your vaginas
.......
MrVerger: like all these nervous junky niggers that want to sell it quickly
.........
MrVerger: lol
MrVerger: and once your neighbor was a nigger that worked as a reepoman
MrVerger: right?

Wow... was she acknowledging his conversation, or just too busy doing a cum/etc show to reply and or ban him?

 

[NoelleBright]

Nope, she was definitely talking to him and taking part in the conversation. She was not bothered by it at all.

 

[Sia Green]

This guy was PMing me on Chaturbate the other day telling me how him and his sister were watching me.

him: my sister thinks you look really good sucking your dildo
me: cool! tell her i say thanks
him: shes gonna use your tricks and suck my dick 2night
me: neat, have fun.
him: yeah she's my sister but she likes when i fuck her ass at night
me: you guys must be really close, that's nice.

-___-

I like that he had to tell you twice in 3 lines of chat that she was "his sister" LMAO! His troll brain went..."Tell her you said thanks? Oh noes! She must not of realized I said SISTER! I better tell her again" :lol:

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Nope, she was definitely talking to him and taking part in the conversation. She was not bothered by it at all.

Sooooooo, who was it?

 

[NoelleBright]

Nope, she was definitely talking to him and taking part in the conversation. She was not bothered by it at all.

Sooooooo, who was it?

I removed her name purposely to keep the drama llamas away. I don't agree with what was going on in her chat room, it was really distasteful and just wrong, but it's not my style to call someone out publicly for it either. I don't wanna get in the middle of that shit storm.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Word

 

[Jayne_Black]

Nope, she was definitely talking to him and taking part in the conversation. She was not bothered by it at all.

Sooooooo, who was it?

I removed her name purposely to keep the drama llamas away. I don't agree with what was going on in her chat room, it was really distasteful and just wrong, but it's not my style to call someone out publicly for it either. I don't wanna get in the middle of that shit storm.

I like your style!! I also like that you said "drama llama" hehe.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Oh boy! I get the best emails... I am ready to go after reading this... :lol:

your body looks so good to me ..i'm stroking my cock now baby thinking about you........i'm thinking of being on my knees with you standing legs apart and i'm licking, sucking all ur sweet, hot pussy juices until you get weak in the knees and cum all over my face! Then slide down to me and i'm sucking ur breasts and my cock is so hard as i turn u over on ur stomach and lick ur ass and slide my hard 9 1/2 black dick in ur pussy from behind and massage ur clit with my fingers....mmmmmmmmmmmfeels good u playing with my dick........sucking my dick like only you can baby ......yes i'm on top on u with ur legs spead open and ur pussy dripping wet...............i'm putting the head in teasing u and then slide my brown dick into ur lovely pink pussy deep baby......then fucking you up and down...........til i cum deep inside your wet pussy love with all my hot cum..FUCKING U NOW LOVE

This is exactly why so many members want to be able to PM the model... so they can share their "erotic" fantasies with them.

 

[AmberCutie]

This is exactly why so many members want to be able to PM the model... so they can share their "erotic" fantasies with them.

Yeah a big reason that I have them turned off to non-friends. I would get so distracted by wanting to tell off or make fun off these people in their PM that I'd lose track of the actual cool people in the room who don't do that shit. When someone makes a complete ass out of themselves, it's really hard for me to not reply. My snotty trigger finger gets itchy.

 

[Jupiter551]

Briarllyturk: Is this some kind of culinary program? No talk of beautiful Merylyn’s strong arms, nice shoulders, long legs (proportionally), beautiful eyes, good Russian back

She make good wife, is strong like mountain pony!

 

[AmberCutie]

Ahh, I love messages like these. PM on the forum that I got the pleasure of reading after I logged off cam last night.

Hey AmberCutie. Just wanted you to know that I have blown my load numerous times to your whoring on MFC. Your husband must be so proud of all the hours you waste showing your pussy to all the idiot virgins on MFC. But I bet you make a lot of money but is it really worth it that all your videos will always be online. Bet you ever want a real career your boss will be rubbing his cock every time he talks to you cause he knows you are a cam whore. Anyway thanks for being my worthless little cum box and letting me get off to those big tits of yours so many times.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Ahh, I love messages like these. PM on the forum that I got the pleasure of reading after I logged off cam last night.

Hey AmberCutie. Just wanted you to know that I have blown my load numerous times to your whoring on MFC. Your husband must be so proud of all the hours you waste showing your pussy to all the idiot virgins on MFC. But I bet you make a lot of money but is it really worth it that all your videos will always be online. Bet you ever want a real career your boss will be rubbing his cock every time he talks to you cause he knows you are a cam whore. Anyway thanks for being my worthless little cum box and letting me get off to those big tits of yours so many times.

For such an eloquent and well-spoken individual, I'm surprised he has "blown his load numerous times to your whoring on MFC." With his charm, wit and winning attitude how does he have the time to spend on MFC with all the women who are obviously clamoring for his attention. Such a waste of his many talents.



Sarcasm over. Carry on.

 

[AmberCutie]

Ahh, I love messages like these. PM on the forum that I got the pleasure of reading after I logged off cam last night.

Hey AmberCutie. Just wanted you to know that I have blown my load numerous times to your whoring on MFC. Your husband must be so proud of all the hours you waste showing your pussy to all the idiot virgins on MFC. But I bet you make a lot of money but is it really worth it that all your videos will always be online. Bet you ever want a real career your boss will be rubbing his cock every time he talks to you cause he knows you are a cam whore. Anyway thanks for being my worthless little cum box and letting me get off to those big tits of yours so many times.

:lol:
These type of guys are worse than the "mmm bb, open tits" beggars in my opinion. He is so appalled by our choices, yet they pull up our rooms to jerk to. They can't actually carry on a conversation with anyone of the opposite sex, so they sit silent or only spew out troll shit. THEN he takes the time out of his highly satisfying life to join the forum to send you a message....ISSUES!!

I am certain his "real career" involves some paper bags and groceries. And his "real" interaction with women involves a basement, the internet and his mom's computer.

I feel honored to have added so much joy to his day. I am certain that him writing that message to me brought him extreme pleasure. Pointing out that he gets off on watching me for free and that he is so much better than me because I'll have trouble getting a job in the future without a pervert for a boss.

 

[Jupiter551]

Ahh, I love messages like these. PM on the forum that I got the pleasure of reading after I logged off cam last night.

Hey AmberCutie. Just wanted you to know that I have blown my load numerous times to your whoring on MFC. Your husband must be so proud of all the hours you waste showing your pussy to all the idiot virgins on MFC. But I bet you make a lot of money but is it really worth it that all your videos will always be online. Bet you ever want a real career your boss will be rubbing his cock every time he talks to you cause he knows you are a cam whore. Anyway thanks for being my worthless little cum box and letting me get off to those big tits of yours so many times.

Well that guy is clearly getting off on trying to rub your nose in it - and displaying the old double-standard of 'oh people who do "porn" are disgusting, but I feel morally fine enjoying it.'

Apart from appalling self-centredness, that speaks to me of resentment toward sexually-liberated, powerful women (he even makes reference to, and admission of, his perception that you're making bank out of your job), and is probably rooted in fairly deep feelings of inferiority.

Basically, it takes a special kind of pathetic to jerk off over someone while trying to shame them for your desire to jerk off over them.