Things Members Say That Make You Go "WTF?"

[CobraLily]

I should have taken a screenshot of this guy's ramblings when I was doing a couples show on Chaturbate, he was spouting off some hilariously weird shit. One of the best ones was something akin to "Do they eat bears and skunks? And dance around the fire?" He kept referring to us in the third person the entire time.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

PMer: hi
PM-ee: whatup!
PMer: i have tokens for half price
PMer: if you are interested
PM-ee: why would I want tokens?
PMer: For private dance
PM-ee: ohhh
PM-ee: now I understand
PM-ee: No, sorry, you have wrong guy
PM-ee: You are looking for a "tipper"

 

[Nordling]

So random.

"poolofflour: one day I want to paint your body green and put on torn shorts and shake that ass to south trap music."

 

[Nordling]

Also random. Hot women only existed in the '50s?

love_women_2: very hottt
love_women_2: You're from the 1950s ;-)

 

[Leon_Omega]

Talking about the CGM Afterparty when I get a guy in PM asking me questions. He seems interested in attending, this is good. Then he comes back with this:

04:52:06 AM [COLOR=#]JustynBeaver:[/COLOR] [COLOR=#] sounds awesome [/COLOR]
04:52:28 AM [COLOR=#]JustynBeaver:[/COLOR] [COLOR=#] i'll go next year and bring roofies [/COLOR]
04:52:55 AM [COLOR=#]JustynBeaver:[/COLOR] [COLOR=#] my friend Bill wants to come too [/COLOR]

Please don't come next year, and leave your friend Bill out of this

 

[ComicOzzie]

Sounds legit...

FarmingMan09: Hey gorgeous

my name is Austin, I am a lawyer in Hawaii. I have a 127000 bank account with your name on it

wanna help me spend it? I have a pic on my profile for proof
FarmingMan09: Message me if interested

 

[ComicOzzie]

The dumbest person on MFC strikes again...

LUVAMISTRO: itri bibi ibreed

 

[Ann_Sulu]

The dumbest person on MFC strikes again...

LUVAMISTRO: itri bibi ibreed

I'm just gonna assume he was letting her know that inbreeding happened in his family.

 

[fandango]

This guy made me laugh.

TypicalPoet: I lost my virginity at birth, to my mom, as my whole penis and entire body were in her vagina

 

[ComicOzzie]

A freeloader explaining why he isnt a freeloader...

TheSarge_: im not freelaoding
ComicOzzie: yeah, you kinda are
TheSarge_: how do you freeload if there is no show going on?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

A freeloader explaining why he isnt a freeloader...

TheSarge_: im not freelaoding
ComicOzzie: yeah, you kinda are
TheSarge_: how do you freeload if there is no show going on?

I have been in a few rooms where this guy's argument holds water...

 

[Rebel_Wood]

I asked him how much acid he'd taken today and got this response:

 

[ComicOzzie]

Godbody77: I would be a sex slave for you...if you say lick my toes, I'm sucking each one of them...if you say suck my boobs, I'm making love to both of them...if you say eat my pussy I'll do it for hours...if you say lick my ass, I would lick it like it's ice cream. Whatever you desire.

Take a wild guess how much he tipped.

 

[ComicOzzie]

File this under TMI:

IIm_A_Hoarr: i once paid a hooker an extra $20 to stick her tongue up my ass

 

[ShayChase]

Random basic: you have bank account bb? I want to give you money but have no tokens.

Yeah. Definitely plan on giving out bank account info

 

[JerryBoBerry]

MFC changed the way the topic shows so it's always visible right above the video. Yet we still get people too lazy to read it.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Bigone747: Maybe me and you can make girl boy videos!!
ComicOzzie:

Bigone747: I'll take mucho viagra to stay hard for you!! LOL

Because if a model is gonna start making b/g videos, its usually gonna be with a random stranger from the internet.

 

[Saskia]

"tell me where to cum.. I need to cum now on some food" ...?

 

[Diana Blake]

Was just on cam talking about how I couldn't sleep last night and had a countdown going for a cum show so that the lovely endorphins could give me a much needed energy boost...

Member: You just need a good fucking*
Me: Exactly! And we're only a few people away from the show!
Member: Just imagine your tits around my fat cock
Me: Ooooookaaaay... you can do that, I want orgasms. Thanks.

*his spelling and punctuation were not as shown

 

[JerryBoBerry]

"tell me where to cum.. I need to cum now on some food" ...?

The perfect answer is always kumquats.

 

[CherryChu]

There's this guy who came to my room a while ago and was trying to be all 'sweet/romantic' or whatever (surprise surprise, never tipped!) and after that he sent me a message saying something like 'I hope we can be friends :rose' and then I figured he disappeared because I never responded... couple of months later I'm waking up to this in my inbox:

oh you know it ia a big world and there are many many idiots who seem to find people to live with ....

i hope you are lucky and choose a good man to fall in love with ...

somehow this website is a scene of desolation for peoples love lifes .. the futility, shame and fear combind with the 'evils' of lust and money ... with a twist of scocial cocooning and isolationism ... it all adds u to a stinking unromantic pile of guano.

the crazy thing is so many men find people who they are attracted too and so verry few models have what it takes even to initiate a real relationship ... seeing all the normal horny guys as perves (rightly or wrongly) and fearing sexploitation disrespect and or shallow un spiritual relationships (rightly or wrongly)


yes there are many idiots everywhere and even some facetarded slaves left on facebook.CIA ... (a place i would rather never go or even click on by mistake since i cannot love miitarised suppression and exploitation or the minnions supporting eugenasists)

this all being said ... the world and the internet is full of fool and freaks idiots and the enslaved westernised masses ...

yet there are many good innocent people creative constructive passionate and blessed in manyways

stay blessed and keep the faith

love from your friend [[name]]

[[email address]]
[[phone number]]


ps plz try not to give my information to facebook.cia it is a militarised death trap a nightmare and also generally just crap.

Forgive me they do say that 'we hate the things that threaten those we love' ​

I'm just... what??

 

[Ambers Troll]

"there are many good innocent people creative constructive passionate and blessed in manyways stay blessed and keep the faith" Very odd Chisa but a sweet enough compliment...not sure about the innocent but the rest is you... hopefully when you don't call it wont be taken to heart, he will just assume the cia/ facebook stopped you getting back to him.

 

[swagger]

Wow CherryChu, that guy uses some pretty big words for somebody who hasn't figured out that MFC isn't a dating site!

 

[fandango]

I think you should prank call him and pretend to be the CIA

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I'm just... what??

One possible interpretation. Take it with a grain of salt.

Spoiler: Translation

oh you know it ia a big world and there are many many idiots who seem to find people to live with ....

I feel very small and alone. I see others who do not feel this way, and I hate them for it.

i hope you are lucky and choose a good man to fall in love with ...

I want you to fall in love with me Cherry.

somehow this website is a scene of desolation for peoples love lifes .. the futility, shame and fear combind with the 'evils' of lust and money ... with a twist of scocial cocooning and isolationism ... it all adds u to a stinking unromantic pile of guano.

I am on this website because my lovelife is desolate. I am ashamed and afraid, not comfortable with sexuality, and I am poor. I have been shunned and isolated. I blame others for this shit.

the crazy thing is so many men find people who they are attracted too and so verry few models have what it takes even to initiate a real relationship ... seeing all the normal horny guys as perves (rightly or wrongly) and fearing sexploitation disrespect and or shallow un spiritual relationships (rightly or wrongly)

I am attracted to you Cherry. I want a real relationship with you Cherry. I can't admit I want to exploit you, to disrespect you...my religion won't allow me to do that. I hope to enslave you with my religion, get you to the point you won't be able to admit it either.

yes there are many idiots everywhere and even some facetarded slaves left on facebook.CIA ... (a place i would rather never go or even click on by mistake since i cannot love miitarised suppression and exploitation or the minnions supporting eugenasists)

Every alarming thing I run across fuels my anxieties. I give no consideration to its credibility, as long as it sustains and validates my paranoia.

this all being said ... the world and the internet is full of fool and freaks idiots and the enslaved westernised masses ...

Don't be a fool Cherry. Let me get you fitted for a burqa.

yet there are many good innocent people creative constructive passionate and blessed in manyways

I want to convince you I am good, innocent, creative, constructive, passionate, and blessed.

stay blessed and keep the faith

Listen to what I have said Cherry. Believe me.

love from your friend [[name]]

I hope to own you.

ps plz try not to give my information to facebook.cia it is a militarised death trap a nightmare and also generally just crap.

Am I paranoid, delusional? Or am I doing things that would be of interest to the CIA?

Forgive me they do say that 'we hate the things that threaten those we love'

I watch you Cherry, and I feel an overpowering infatuation for you that I can't control. I call it “love”, but it's not. The only way I can get control of it is to get control of you.
If I can't do that, I am going to feel an equally overpowering resentment towards you. I call it “hate”, and that is exactly what it is.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I'm just... what??

This is the sound of someone not blessed with intelligence attempting to convince you (and themselves) that they are in fact, so intelligent that they've uncovered some great universal truth in an unexpected place, and you, you lucky thing you, are the one they chose to share it with.

 

[Diana Blake]

Member: rub ur clit up and down
Member: now rub side to side
Member: harder
Member: harder and youll cum for me
Me: Dude, I think I know how to rub my clit. I've been doing it a while and I've got it pretty well practiced, 'kay?

 

[ImNotSamISwear]

Member: rub ur clit up and down
Member: now rub side to side
Member: harder
Member: harder and youll cum for me
Me: Dude, I think I know how to rub my clit. I've been doing it a while and I've got it pretty well practiced, 'kay?

Maybe he was trying to get you to input the Konami code...

 

[ComicOzzie]

Could you be a bigger loser?

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[Kristacams]

i have a guy on chaturbate that constantly comes in (even though i ban him everytime so... yeah) and hes always like "pm me" so i do... and first thing he always asks... every time... "have you ever been raped or molested"
WTF thats def not okay to ever ask someone. ever. idk whats wrong with people sometimes but thats fucked. beyond belief