The maybe not so generic ‘falling for a cam girl’ post.

[SMuser69]

Yes, that was a while ago now tbh (the c2c etc). Sorry, I am possibly slightly guilty of using humour as a defence mechanism.

It’s true that I can’t get her out of my head. But the logical side of my brain tells me ‘this is ridiculous you haven’t even met her’ and I find it to be honest, laughable.

So I am going to see what happens, there is a way to go yet before it is meant to happen. So it could all be called off before anything does. For me personally, I am not going to call it off (despite the appreciated advice) unless I get some kind of money request about a week before I go, or something else. As if I don’t go I will always wonder.

However if she calls it off, or something weird happens, that gives me closure. And I can’t get that unless I attempt to go all the way on this one, if that makes sense?

This is easier than you can admit. STOP BEING A MEMBER TO HER. Don't visit her at work, don't give her money, don't do anything but talk with her (DURING HER NON WORK HOURS). If things are legit she'll still be talking to you long after you do this. If conversation suddenly stops or she magically become unavailable during her non cam hours you know where you stood. The first test of an emotional connection is to remove the fantasy of the business completely. Understand this also mean your NON-WORK conversations can't involve asking for her to do CAM sort of things. When there's real connection those boundaries will hold. This is a lot easier and less risky than travel plans.

Also this is good for you since if you can go without the fantasy yourself then you will know if you really have feeling about this or if you're just lusting for a cam persona you happen to enjoy.

 

[Crabbycrab]

Completely agree. I no longer visit her at all. I only talk to her off the site and we talk during non work hours. I will at no point ever give her any money. I obviously used to spend on her when I used her room, but no interest in doing that now.

Dan, yes long distance can be very difficult, so many variables at play, I have a friend in the background reality checking me at each step in this scenario. My current thoughts are, see if the meeting happens then assess.

 

[Ava Nicole]

Were you a big spender in her room?

 

[Crabbycrab]

Initially to a degree yes. But that is going back 4-5 months now. I did make it very clear she will receive no more money from me.

Anyway, I’m going to stop posting on this thread for a bit, I will update when something major develops.

I am absolutely listening to the advice, please do not think I am ignoring it. It does help me get a reality check.

 

[LilyPink]

@Crabbycrab If she is genuine she's going to be very upset by your clear lack of trust in her.

You've told her you'll visit her and I assume you have a good rapport but you're being so judgmental and mean about her on here.

It might be no big deal for you to meet her and go and have a nice vacation with your friend but it takes a lot for a model to want to meet someone from a cam site. She is risking a lot to meet with you. She can do better.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

@Crabbycrab If she is genuine she's going to be very upset by your clear lack of trust in her.

You've told her you'll visit her and I assume you have a good rapport but you're being so judgmental and mean about her on here.

It might be no big deal for you to meet her and go and have a nice vacation with your friend but it takes a lot for a model to want to meet someone from a cam site. She is risking a lot to meet with you. She can do better.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Like I get that the OP is trying to do a cool guy "it's no big deal, she's probably totally fake. I don't care" thing, but actually it just comes across that he's being an ass. I haven't seen any evidence that this girl is scamming, and the OP hasn't given much information of why she likes him and really why he likes her besides a previous infatuation. People are often so quick to believe the camgirl must be scamming, but from my experience in the industry of communicating with models and members, there seems to be a much higher percentage of members looking to scam/screw over or use models than the other way around. Some members come to camsites because they're vulnerable, but also lots of women become models because of vulnerable situations, and it can be hugely isolating being a cam model which can lead to wanting to form relationships with those who visit us. It seems like in this situation the OP seems far more concerned with his own feelings, his own safety and what he'll get out of the situation than the model in question. This just seems like a recipe for disaster. She deserves better than this.

Honestly this whole trip seems like it's going to be quite awkward because there doesn't seem like any clear goal in mind for either party. Like, are you really into each other and that's a mutual feeling? Are you just friends? Are you going because you want to fuck her or do you want a relationship? Is this some kind of rebound? Something "wild" to do for fun? It's good in most situations to go with the flow, but this is not an ordinary situation. There's a small possibility that there'll be fireworks, but then, what happens with the friend? And where do you go from there? What if the feelings intensify for one person but not the other?

 

[AlexaCrush]

Yeah, my first thought was "oh, well if you're not sending her money anymore and she's still willing to talk to you that's a good sign". Obviously there's a lot of details missing here, but it doesn't seem totally out of this world that this could be legit.

 

[Peekabooh]

If it's a nice country to visit, europe is a nice place for a vacation, make that the subject and agree to meet in a public place.

Life isn't really that much about money. Or distrust.

 

[good]

@Crabbycrab

Psychology has demonstrated that once you have agreed once it is incredibly difficult to say no later. If you go there you will bind yourself to help her.
It is the foundation of most common sales technic.

Plus you cannot know if she is under influence of a mafia who want to rob you by emotion or by force.

Do not endanger yourself.

 

[Crabbycrab]

Sorry I do agree. I am acting like a bit of an ass on here. I apologise.

I am not actually like that, however I am being like that to protect my integrity. As if I am getting scammed I am going to feel like an absolute idiot. Hope that makes sense?

Also please appreciate this is a little bit of a rollercoaster for me!

I do genuinely feel something for her, but whether that translates to something in reality, I don’t know, but I want to find out.

She does know I am sceptical, and has done pretty much everything she can to prove she is genuine. So all I can do is show up, be very careful and judge the situation from there.

I agree that camgirls are more often than not the ones getting scammed. I guess it’s just the camgirl scams are more widely publicised on here from what I’ve seen.

I will update in due course.

Many thanks for all your opinions. It has really helped me.

Edit : Regarding the whole what do I want out of this question. I’ve decided I can’t really answer that and have not thought that far ahead. I think there is little point in doing that before I’ve met her. I’d be running before I could walk. However I could make it work if it did come to that. So there is no issue on that front. I guess otherwise I wouldn’t bother.

 

[LilyPink]

Best of luck- do let us know!

 

[Crabbycrab]

Update : We met.

I will try and post more details next week. But I do not want to reveal too much tbh. Really nice and sweet girl.

It became fairly obvious quite quickly that she was genuine about doing this. But I will say I really do not recommend making any attempts to try and get into this situation. This is not what these sites are for she even mocks me and says ‘so you come on this site to jerk off to girls.. and you end up in this situation.. what the fuck happened?’

Also, stating the obvious, real life is VERY different. She is not really much like the girl I thought I knew on the cam site, but she is really nice and kind and we are having a great time.

But anyway, if you do find yourself in this situation like I did. A few things I will say :

They will not want you to goto their room on the camsite. It would be a bit strange, she will not want your money. Or ever ask you for it.

In a studio there will be rules about not meeting members, they won’t care about this if they actually want it to happen.

They will actually do what they can to make it happen.

Be sure to tell a friend(s) what you are doing, get a reality check from them. If you are 60 meeting a 20 year old, chances are it is not legit.

I might not update again, as I don’t want to feel like I am kissing and telling. But there are too many negative stories about this happening, especially with girls from studios on here, so at least I can add a positive one.

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[Derek_Zoolander]

I have had a lot of experience with this and I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience. However, your positive experience is just a great first date or dates. It’s just the beginning and not the end. I think the barrier to entry is so high, just meeting a cam model may seem like a happily ever after story but it’s not. Normal relationships are already challenging. Dating a cam model in another country is near impossible to do on a long term. Couple that with the type of cam model willing to meet a member romantically and you have the perfect recipe for a disaster legions of horny males are willing to risk it all to experience just once despite all the red flags. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I have had a lot of experience with this and I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience. However, your positive experience is just a great first date or dates. It’s just the beginning and not the end. I think the barrier to entry is so high, just meeting a cam model may seem like a happily ever after story but it’s not. Normal relationships are already challenging. Dating a cam model in another country is near impossible to do on a long term. Couple that with the type of cam model willing to meet a member romantically and you have the perfect recipe for a disaster legions of horny males are willing to risk it all to experience just once despite all the red flags. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

You have had a lot of experience in meeting camgirls in a possible romantic meetup?

 

[Crabbycrab]

I have had a lot of experience with this and I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience.

I call shenanigans on this. Very odd thing to have ‘a lot’ of experience with.

You are, I think, being very unfair on camgirls. I have expected flags to come up, they never have, if I think I have a flag, I get proved wrong, we have spent almost the entire time together. And she has put a HUGE amount of effort in and is trying very hard so that we have a good time, for no real gain to herself.

You talk about ‘men willing to risk it all’. You think this came with zero risk to her? Or is it actually much riskier for her to do this than it is for me? She has a lot more to lose than me.

 

[xDollPartsx]

I call shenanigans on this. Very odd thing to have ‘a lot’ of experience with.

You are, I think, being very unfair on camgirls. I have expected flags to come up, they never have, if I think I have a flag, I get proved wrong, we have spent almost the entire time together. And she has put a HUGE amount of effort in and is trying very hard so that we have a good time, for no real gain to herself.

You talk about ‘men willing to risk it all’. You think this came with zero risk to her? Or is it actually much riskier for her to do this than it is for me? She has a lot more to lose than me.

Just have to say, I dig this reply. Its refreshing to see someone in your position have the perspective you do and the understanding of her side of things. Well done. This made me smile.

 

[cbhours]

Are you back home yet or are you jumping the gun?

I've seen this before...you think you are on a nice vacation and you're having a good time and all of a sudden you're in a panic trying to pronounce the safe word Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen.

 

[ModeratoronCB]

If by “another country” you mean Canada or an actual turistic destination.. then fine.. what’s the damage. If “by another country” you mean an ex-URSS or an ex-Yugoslavia nation and you are only going because of the fact that you could meet her cancel the trip. This is my 2 cents.

If this girl is In a East European country you shouldn't go!
If shes in a south East Asian or African country you should be very careful.

Well that's my advice.

 

[Crabbycrab]

If this girl is In a East European country you shouldn't go!
If shes in a south East Asian or African country you should be very careful.

Well that's my advice.

Bit late to the party. I’ve already gone and come back. All my organs are still in place.

 

[ModeratoronCB]

Bit late to the party. I’ve already gone and come back. All my organs are still in place.

Good, so you did go to East Europe.
Well I'm happy your good, and hopefully it went well.

 

[Crabbycrab]

Good, so you did go to East Europe.
Well I'm happy your good, and hopefully it went well.

Russia.

 

[Dan Epstein]

Passionate beginnings can sometimes lead to an impulsive end. Having a romantic boost in a vacation is awesome, I can't say I don't miss it sometimes but, and there's a big but here, look at it from a relationship point of view please. There's only so much you can do from a distance, and there's only so much she can do as well. It's not about dating a cam model if you ask me, it's about understanding what you can make at a given time, and place.
Feel free to scratch everything I say and do take it with a grain of sand. I'm also projecting my own bitter experience here. I'm entitled to form my own inner truth, but not entitled to make my own facts

 

[briandf255]

I think whether a meeting between a cam girl and a customer meeting offline works out or not depends a lot on the people involved - not all men are the same. Not just their motivations, but how well they are able to see through any potential BS and read each other.

Yes, I'm sure there are a lot of men who are so hell-bent on meeting a cam girl for sex that they would miss the warning signs no matter how glaringly obvious they were (if the girl was actually a scammer), but to me the OP didn't sound like that at all. Sure he's in the minority, but just from reading his posts I thought he was level-headed and reasonable about the whole thing. He wasn't rushing into it and he was paying attention to the signals the girl was sending him and trying to interpret them. To me, that immediately put him in the category where the chances of the meeting NOT ending up a disaster were significantly higher than it would be for just any horny customer looking to get laid or to rescue a damsel in distress overseas.

It's true for relationships that start offline, too.

Some people have one failed relationship after another and almost all of them end in an ugly breakup, while others generally have fulfilling relationships that end amicably. That's because some people are good at being honest with themselves and seeing another person objectively even if they are very attracted to him/her and they are able to go into a relationship with realistic expectations and knowing where/why potential problems might surface.

Others in the same situation get so infatuated that they fail to see the potential issues (even if they should be obvious) because they see the other person through rose-tinted lens where everything about that person is just so perfect and eventually they are in for rude awakening when they finally see that person for who he/she really is. The difference is that some people see others for who they are from the start (because they pay attention) and others build up the other person to be something he/she isn't and then later they are shocked when they discover that he/she aren't like that at all.

Also, is an otherwise successful vacation together considered a failure is it doesn't result in a life-long romantic relationship? Especially if that wasn't the point of them meeting in the first place. I didn't see the OP suggesting anywhere that that was what he wanted out of this - although a few posters seemed to be projecting that onto him to make him fit the mold they had in mind of the "typical guy who wants to meet a cam girl in person".

 

[Wade W Wilson]

For those asking why he asked for advice and then ignored it, that would be for the same reason that every other person asks advice of strangers on a forum and then ignores it. His mind was made up over what he was going to do (meet her) and he was here seeking validation of that decision because despite making his mind up to go meet her, deep down he still knew that it was probably a bad idea and he hoped that someone here would tell him that it's a good idea and help him quiet that pesky voice of reason in his head.

What I still don't get and/or like about this story:

1. I didn't see where you were from though I'm assuming US, UK, or possibly continental Europe with decent English skills (though something about your writing style and sentence structure strikes me as odd in a way I can't quite place.

2. Despite your doubts you still you still went to Russia to meet her which seemed to be a significant distance to travel for you and I assume a significant cost.

3. You're cagey with the details, which change a little bit as the thread goes on, you think about her all the time then it's just for a laugh, and back again to ok I have feelings again. Maybe because you're conflicted or maybe out of attempting to keep you and her anonymous, or maybe still because this could just be an exercise in creative writing. I'm operating under the assumption this is all true because otherwise why bother commenting?

4. You talk about worrying if this is the "long con" but are convinced it's legit after your first meeting. The con could just be longer than you think.

5. From what you have said I get that this had gone on for at least about 5 months prior to you going to meet her, you don't really say how long you had known her before you stopped spending money on her initially. I'm assuming you partook in major international travel to meet someone that you knew maybe roughly a year and had little to no contact with for a large amount of that time.

5. If we really want to go full tin foil hat paranoia, who is to say you aren't some scammer saying this just to put into member's heads that traveling to another country to meet a model can be perfectly safe and work out like you hoped? It sounds paranoid I know, but it wouldn't be an unreasonable psychological warfare tactic, create the belief that a successful meet is possible to increase the likelihood of more suckers flying over to get fleeced. Yes my time in the military has maybe made me a little un-trusting, maybe even paranoid but a healthy amount of paranoia and/or skepticism can also keep one alive and with all factory installed components still attached.

If I had seen all of this before the trip I would have said don't go. You said there were initially some red flags when there were in fact more red flags than a damn Chinese military parade and even if it was all legit, it was going to still cost a lot more money in the future if this becomes something serious. If it's all legit I hope it turns out well for the both of you. You're still an idiot for doing it though, I'm not going to sugar coat anything. You made your mind up and came here wanting to be told you made the right choice and still went after just about everyone said bad idea, don't go. Don't let your guard down yet, this is only the beginning if you continue talking to her.

You seem to have some feelings for this woman, that would partially explain your abysmal decision making, and I'm not kidding, this is all one long string of bad decisions that apparently turned out OK for you so far. Use caution moving forward and if you ask advice in the future and 99 out of 100 people say "wow, that's a bad idea, don't do that", try to set your emotions aside as much as you can and re-evaluate what you are doing.

In conclusion, you're an idiot that makes VERY bad decisions. That said, I honestly hope things workout for you and that this all has a decent conclusion for everyone involved.

Best of luck to you, idiot

 

[AudriTwo]

I think whether a meeting between a cam girl and a customer meeting offline works out or not depends a lot on the people involved - not all men are the same. Not just their motivations, but how well they are able to see through any potential BS and read each other.

Yes, I'm sure there are a lot of men who are so hell-bent on meeting a cam girl for sex that they would miss the warning signs no matter how glaringly obvious they were (if the girl was actually a scammer), but to me the OP didn't sound like that at all. Sure he's in the minority, but just from reading his posts I thought he was level-headed and reasonable about the whole thing. He wasn't rushing into it and he was paying attention to the signals the girl was sending him and trying to interpret them. To me, that immediately put him in the category where the chances of the meeting NOT ending up a disaster were significantly higher than it would be for just any horny customer looking to get laid or to rescue a damsel in distress overseas.

It's true for relationships that start offline, too.

Some people have one failed relationship after another and almost all of them end in an ugly breakup, while others generally have fulfilling relationships that end amicably. That's because some people are good at being honest with themselves and seeing another person objectively even if they are very attracted to him/her and they are able to go into a relationship with realistic expectations and knowing where/why potential problems might surface.

Others in the same situation get so infatuated that they fail to see the potential issues (even if they should be obvious) because they see the other person through rose-tinted lens where everything about that person is just so perfect and eventually they are in for rude awakening when they finally see that person for who he/she really is. The difference is that some people see others for who they are from the start (because they pay attention) and others build up the other person to be something he/she isn't and then later they are shocked when they discover that he/she aren't like that at all.

Also, is an otherwise successful vacation together considered a failure is it doesn't result in a life-long romantic relationship? Especially if that wasn't the point of them meeting in the first place. I didn't see the OP suggesting anywhere that that was what he wanted out of this - although a few posters seemed to be projecting that onto him to make him fit the mold they had in mind of the "typical guy who wants to meet a cam girl in person".

 

[briandf255]

So you're saying you think this whole thing didn't happen? Or what's your point?

And what does that have to do with my post in particular in a thread full of posts where most of us assumed, for the sake of discussion, that this whole thing wasn't just made up by the OP?

 

[Crabbycrab]

I think this would be a very convoluted (and long winded) way to achieve a goal of encouraging people to meet up with cam girls and one that, if this post did achieve it, not entirely sure how I would know if I’d benefited! But anyway, nice idea.

I reiterate that these sites should not be used for this and do not try and meet people through them. I had no intention of doing it. I concluded a couple of months ago that these sites probably aren’t for me.

 

[Mila_]

For those asking why he asked for advice and then ignored it, that would be for the same reason that every other person asks advice of strangers on a forum and then ignores it. His mind was made up over what he was going to do (meet her) and he was here seeking validation of that decision because despite making his mind up to go meet her, deep down he still knew that it was probably a bad idea and he hoped that someone here would tell him that it's a good idea and help him quiet that pesky voice of reason in his head.

What I still don't get and/or like about this story:

1. I didn't see where you were from though I'm assuming US, UK, or possibly continental Europe with decent English skills (though something about your writing style and sentence structure strikes me as odd in a way I can't quite place.

2. Despite your doubts you still you still went to Russia to meet her which seemed to be a significant distance to travel for you and I assume a significant cost.

3. You're cagey with the details, which change a little bit as the thread goes on, you think about her all the time then it's just for a laugh, and back again to ok I have feelings again. Maybe because you're conflicted or maybe out of attempting to keep you and her anonymous, or maybe still because this could just be an exercise in creative writing. I'm operating under the assumption this is all true because otherwise why bother commenting?

4. You talk about worrying if this is the "long con" but are convinced it's legit after your first meeting. The con could just be longer than you think.

5. From what you have said I get that this had gone on for at least about 5 months prior to you going to meet her, you don't really say how long you had known her before you stopped spending money on her initially. I'm assuming you partook in major international travel to meet someone that you knew maybe roughly a year and had little to no contact with for a large amount of that time.

5. If we really want to go full tin foil hat paranoia, who is to say you aren't some scammer saying this just to put into member's heads that traveling to another country to meet a model can be perfectly safe and work out like you hoped? It sounds paranoid I know, but it wouldn't be an unreasonable psychological warfare tactic, create the belief that a successful meet is possible to increase the likelihood of more suckers flying over to get fleeced. Yes my time in the military has maybe made me a little un-trusting, maybe even paranoid but a healthy amount of paranoia and/or skepticism can also keep one alive and with all factory installed components still attached.

If I had seen all of this before the trip I would have said don't go. You said there were initially some red flags when there were in fact more red flags than a damn Chinese military parade and even if it was all legit, it was going to still cost a lot more money in the future if this becomes something serious. If it's all legit I hope it turns out well for the both of you. You're still an idiot for doing it though, I'm not going to sugar coat anything. You made your mind up and came here wanting to be told you made the right choice and still went after just about everyone said bad idea, don't go. Don't let your guard down yet, this is only the beginning if you continue talking to her.

You seem to have some feelings for this woman, that would partially explain your abysmal decision making, and I'm not kidding, this is all one long string of bad decisions that apparently turned out OK for you so far. Use caution moving forward and if you ask advice in the future and 99 out of 100 people say "wow, that's a bad idea, don't do that", try to set your emotions aside as much as you can and re-evaluate what you are doing.

In conclusion, you're an idiot that makes VERY bad decisions. That said, I honestly hope things workout for you and that this all has a decent conclusion for everyone involved.

Best of luck to you, idiot

OMG who are you? Be my friend

 

[TokenGesture]

OMG who are you? Be my friend

This is exactly the type of behaviour that sparked this thread in the first place.

A cam girl going, "OMG who are you? Be my friend . "