Skipped graduation and regret it

[Guy]

7 years ago I skipped my high school graduation ceremony. I also chose not to have a graduation party.
Now I regret it all and its killing me
How do I get past this?

 

[WebcamStartup]

If it makes you feel any better, the only reason I probably graduated is because of alleged vehicular assault on a police officer. Long story but 100% innocent, you have to be stupid to run over drug task. Expelled me, put me in alternative education, had all my required classes so they wrote me a certificate in the same meeting I was expelled in. Fucking joke, but so was my highschool education, so whatever.

 

[Lexi Emerson]

Guy! We've missed you!!

I went to my graduation and had a party and it wasn't all that. You didn't miss out on a whole lot tbh!

 

[Mila_]

It was 7 years ago.. why get over it now when you can sulk over it for the rest of your life?

 

[Diana Blake]

I don't feel like graduation and graduation party was all that fun for a lot of us. It was several hours waiting to walk across a stage and then a bunch of soda and "I'm gonna miss everyone" theatrics. If you really feel like you missed out how about contacting some of the people in your graduating class? See what their night was like and kind of figure out if their experiences match what you feel like you missed out on?

 

[Guy]

I don't feel like graduation and graduation party was all that fun for a lot of us. It was several hours waiting to walk across a stage and then a bunch of soda and "I'm gonna miss everyone" theatrics. If you really feel like you missed out how about contacting some of the people in your graduating class? See what their night was like and kind of figure out if their experiences match what you feel like you missed out on?

I can't contact them. I left Facebook last December.

The reason why I skipped both was because in high school I had no friends.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I can't even remember if I went to mine or not lol. I don't...think so?

Anyway, spending time regretting the past now will only give you more regrets for wasting this time in the future.

 

[Guy]

I can't even remember if I went to mine or not lol. I don't...think so?

Anyway, spending time regretting the past now will only give you more regrets for wasting this time in the future.

I know that. I just can't find a way to get past it.

 

[zippypinhead]

Seven years does seem like a long time to be holding onto something like that. It is a threshold ceremony, but it is just a ceremony. It's not as if your lack of attendance meant the achievement didn't count.

If it weighs that heavily on your soul, then go to college, and don't skip your next graduation.

 

[Magnolia]

I understand that feeling of regret and lost opportunities. Even when people say it's something that wasn't important or doesn't affect you, it doesn't matter. The loss of an experience is something you can't get back, even if that experience wouldn't have been that great.

Time is going to help. With time things seem to disappear.

Being mindful of your thoughts is also going to help. Focusing on something like this can feel overwhelming, but it's okay. Some of us have minds that tend to focus on things others find not important. Just try next time you're thinking about it to say to yourself, "Yup, I'm thinking about this again. I'm feeling these certain emotions. It is happening right now. Soon it won't be happening though." until you are thinking about something else. Accept, be mindful, confront, and wait. Don't try to fix it, just let it happen and let it pass. Obsessive thoughts aren't things to be "fixed" but rather things to accept and live with until they pass on their own.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

You didn't miss out really. It's exactly what it looks like. You wait in line in itchy suits and hats for hours and walk across a stage. I walked through half my college graduation and realized it was bogus, so I hopped the rope and went and got a hot dog instead. I will definitely not regret it, that's how unimportant it is. Whats truly important is that you worked hard and got the degree. You will take that with you wherever you go, not some silly 2 hour ceremony.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I feel the same way! & can totally relate.
I'm a highschool drop out (I had a major self injury problem/LOTS of bullying I couldn't handle it there) and didn't have a chance to go to prom either. Whenever graduation or prom rolls around i find myself wondering what if I did have pleasant memories of it if I DID go to these things and have the legit high school experience. I hold onto everything in my life (not in an over the top way but meaning, I remember every little thing. Maybe since I wrote in a journal daily from 11-19 so it's easy to remember and look back on it). I still feel like I am living excited for the future, but sometimes you wonder what it would be if things went differently in your past. I have regrets but they don't keep me up at night or cause me a lot of grief. I just kinda acknowledge it & remind myself I have a bunch of amazing experiences better than a graduation ceremony.

 

[Sevrin]

Graduate from something else and attend that ceremony instead. It'll help you get past high school.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I had a lot of bitterness towards my school. Though I was home schooled, I went to a private school part-time. The principal decided last minute that I wasn't allowed to be in the graduation ceremony only due to me not going there full time. My school didn't have prom (they had "banquet" which is a boring version of prom where you only dress up to eat and sit through teachers talking about the school year). I was also told that though I passed everything in high school I ALSO had to pass a GED in order to prove my mom didn't fudge my grades (they misspelled my name on the diploma), and I was told that since I was home schooled it wouldn't be likely to get any scholarships till after graduating with my associates and I had to pass with a certain score on my ACT and SAT before they'd let me in. I forget the score.

Tl;dr high school was dumb.

 

[Guy]

You didn't miss out really. It's exactly what it looks like. You wait in line in itchy suits and hats for hours and walk across a stage. I walked through half my college graduation and realized it was bogus, so I hopped the rope and went and got a hot dog instead. I will definitely not regret it, that's how unimportant it is. Whats truly important is that you worked hard and got the degree. You will take that with you wherever you go, not some silly 2 hour ceremony.

What about your high school graduation ceremony?

 

[pocket sand]

Graduation ceremony and prom were boring as fuck. Wouldn't remember them if not for all the annoying picture taking. Is senior camping still a thing? That was awesome. Still remember all the fuckery that went down there.

 

[mynameisbob84]

You're still young, sir. Plenty of time to go back to school and study something that a) genuinely interests you, and b) will help you find a decent paying job one day (and this time you can attend the graduation, innit). I still kinda regret not going to university when I was young and missing out on that proper university experience, but I at least got to go back to school a few years back and get a degree. The graduation ceremony is nothing special though. Although there was free cake. Which was nice.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Prom. Ugh. Wish I could have dodged that bullet.

 

[Guy]

Prom. Ugh. Wish I could have dodged that bullet.

Why?

 

[SoTxBob]

I can't contact them. I left Facebook last December.

The reason why I skipped both was because in high school I had no friends.

Dood, not trying to be an ass here but, jebus. 7 years ago and no friends... its time to realize you are an adult now and grow.... evolve past HS drama. You get no do overs.
Perhaps one day, when you have kids, this feeling will be the most beneficial to them and you can keep them advancing down the path instead of making side turns in life they might also regret.
Presumably your class will have a 10 year reunion in a couple more years. If it really hasn't passed by then, be sure to go to that and see just what you shouldn't be missing.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Why?

Because it sucked even worse than graduation.

Gf's mother didn't get to go to her prom, so she got neck deep in ours. Picked out gf's dress, picked out the tux I wore. Talked about it for weeks ahead of time. Night of prom, had to get to gf's house way early so her mom could spend a good hour posing me like a cheap whore while she snapped pictures. Limo arrived, we get carted off to someplace where there were a few more pictures, followed by being dragged around by gf so everyone could see she was at the prom and not alone. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable for me. Finished the night up being chauffeured around our city for some sort of strange sight seeing tour. Gf wasn't into drinking or getting high, so I felt obligated to do all this stone cold sober (last time I'll make that mistake).

I was not a person that night Guy. I was a cheap trinket, a bauble, a piece of man-candy for my gf to wear on her arm as she flitted about socializing. All my hopes, dreams, desires for the future...they meant NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! It was very dehumanizing.

Would say I felt like a gigolo, but I understand gigolos get laid. I didn't even get a courtesy handjob for my troubles. Wish I'd stayed home and watched TV.

 

[Guy]

Dood, not trying to be an ass here but, jebus. 7 years ago and no friends... its time to realize you are an adult now and grow.... evolve past HS drama. You get no do overs.
Perhaps one day, when you have kids, this feeling will be the most beneficial to them and you can keep them advancing down the path instead of making side turns in life they might also regret.
Presumably your class will have a 10 year reunion in a couple more years. If it really hasn't passed by then, be sure to go to that and see just what you shouldn't be missing.

Was HS graduation big for you?

 

[SoTxBob]

Was HS graduation big for you?

A big deal or a big party? lol. The parking lot frequently looked like a scene from "Fast times @ Ridgemont High".
I was the head yearbook photog so I had lots that knew me that I had no clue about. Had a very small group of "friends" that, once past HS, never heard from again. I looked at grad as something to be done with so I could get on to college and start making $$. I did make the first reunion and was sorely disappointed in the lack of "adults" there. It was still the cliquish "yay look at me and what I did" bunch that every HS has. It was a 3 day affair and there were no refunds. I went, drank @ the open bar till sufficiently inebriated and then left.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

What about your high school graduation ceremony?

I sat through the entire thing. It was so boring.

 

[KylieJacobs]

You really didn't miss a whole lot! You probably just missed out on an uncomfortable situation!

Live in the present. If you "live" in the past or the future, you will never be happy. Accept that you chose not to attend the graduation, and try to move on. Everyone has some regrets in life. You can't change them, but you can change the present!

 

[Guy]

You really didn't miss a whole lot! You probably just missed out on an uncomfortable situation!

Live in the present. If you "live" in the past or the future, you will never be happy. Accept that you chose not to attend the graduation, and try to move on. Everyone has some regrets in life. You can't change them, but you can change the present!

I've already tried that

 

[schlmoe]

I've already tried that

Live your life, man. Don't re-live your life. You can't change the past, and your past doesn't have to determine your future. Unless you let it.

Live your life, man. Live your fucking life. Right now.

 

[LilliWilliams]

What aspects of the graduation/parties do you regret missing out on (eg. socialization, ceremonial, etc)? Maybe since you are having a tough time moving beyond it, it might help to really zone in on what it is that you feel you missed out on so that you can try to either make up for it with new experiences or even gain a new perspective on the situation.

For instance, let's say maybe you're regretting not having the social aspect of graduation (since parties end to imply social connections). If your circle of friends was limited at the time as you suggested, are you certain that back then you would have actually enjoyed that sort of thing? I know I would have probably felt a little bit out of my element at grad/prom if I didn't really associate with anyone there, and if I were to throw a party, I'd probably feel a bit self-conscious about my guest list. Who wants to feel that way when you've just accomplished something so awesome? Now that it's been 7 years, I'd imagine your social circle has evolved, and no doubt there will be other milestones to celebrate- I'd make the most of those if I were in your shoes.

If it's the ceremonial aspect, again, I'd look to finding other milestones to celebrate (they don't stop after high school). I have to agree with previous comments- grad and all that noise really isn't all it's cracked up to be; the ceremony itself is usually really stuffy and boring and honestly, there's really only that minute or less where you are getting your diploma that may be of interest (and in the end it's only the degree/diploma that matters- they can mail that haha). There isn't really much more to it, and I always kind of shrug at movies and tv shows and companies like Hallmark that make them seem so extravagant and awesome. If you find that certain things you see out and about, on Facebook, etc, lead you to regret missing it (and this time of year's notorious for promoting grad), just try to steer clear of it, and focus on what other aspects of your life are worthy of celebration we all have them).

 

[Guy]

Graduate from something else and attend that ceremony instead. It'll help you get past high school.

Unfortunately, college in my area is extremely expensive-
$25,000 a year.

 

[Guy]

Because it sucked even worse than graduation.

Gf's mother didn't get to go to her prom, so she got neck deep in ours. Picked out gf's dress, picked out the tux I wore. Talked about it for weeks ahead of time. Night of prom, had to get to gf's house way early so her mom could spend a good hour posing me like a cheap whore while she snapped pictures. Limo arrived, we get carted off to someplace where there were a few more pictures, followed by being dragged around by gf so everyone could see she was at the prom and not alone. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable for me. Finished the night up being chauffeured around our city for some sort of strange sight seeing tour. Gf wasn't into drinking or getting high, so I felt obligated to do all this stone cold sober (last time I'll make that mistake).

I was not a person that night Guy. I was a cheap trinket, a bauble, a piece of man-candy for my gf to wear on her arm as she flitted about socializing. All my hopes, dreams, desires for the future...they meant NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! It was very dehumanizing.

Would say I felt like a gigolo, but I understand gigolos get laid. I didn't even get a courtesy handjob for my troubles. Wish I'd stayed home and watched TV.

Graduation didn't go well for you?