Skipped graduation and regret it

[Remykins]

I also chose not to attend my HS grad (14 years ago) and to this day am thankful I didn't have to waste four hours of my life sitting in an uncomfortable chair, waiting for the three seconds it'd take to get my diploma and walk off the stage.

What matters is that you got your diploma. You achieved something that some people don't. Sure you didn't get handed your diploma from a teacher or school principle (someone that probably would have rather been anywhere else but handing pieces of paper over to kids he/she doesn't really know and/or care about) but you got your diploma. Now its seven years later and you should be focusing on the next phase of your life, whether its college or a career or WHATEVER...the more you focus on your past, the longer it takes to achieve great things in your future. Find that place of acceptance that you can't change the past, but you CAN change the future. Set new goals, and hit them. Thats essentially WHY you have your HS diploma after all - to hit goals as an adult. If all else fails, spend some time talking with a therapist, they can maybe give you some unbiased POV and help you work past this issue of regret.

 

[Guy]

I also chose not to attend my HS grad (14 years ago) and to this day am thankful I didn't have to waste four hours of my life sitting in an uncomfortable chair, waiting for the three seconds it'd take to get my diploma and walk off the stage.

What matters is that you got your diploma. You achieved something that some people don't. Sure you didn't get handed your diploma from a teacher or school principle (someone that probably would have rather been anywhere else but handing pieces of paper over to kids he/she doesn't really know and/or care about) but you got your diploma. Now its seven years later and you should be focusing on the next phase of your life, whether its college or a career or WHATEVER...the more you focus on your past, the longer it takes to achieve great things in your future. Find that place of acceptance that you can't change the past, but you CAN change the future. Set new goals, and hit them. Thats essentially WHY you have your HS diploma after all - to hit goals as an adult. If all else fails, spend some time talking with a therapist, they can maybe give you some unbiased POV and help you work past this issue of regret.

Did you skip your party too?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Graduation didn't go well for you?

Not really. Sucked. Hot, muggy, boring, lot of standing...

Nothing worth redoing.

 

[Guy]

Not really. Sucked. Hot, muggy, boring, lot of standing...

Nothing worth redoing.

Did you have a party?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Did you have a party?

No, took a break graduation night.

 

[Sevrin]

Did you skip your party too?

I skipped my prom, but I did do the rolled up diploma thing. I have zero regrets about the prom.

 

[Guy]

I skipped my prom, but I did do the rolled up diploma thing. I have zero regrets about the prom.

I never went to prom or homecoming. Reason: I hate Rap.

 

[Bocefish]

High school was a boring waste of time imo and would have graduated early if I knew that was a possibility. Ignorance was not bliss in that aspect.

Looking back on it now... I sometimes wish that I had the foresight to take advantage of all the opportunities available and didn't blow off the possible baseball scholarship.

You probably chose not to partake in all the mostly fake bullshit graduation hoopla for a good reason, I did as well.

As far as the no friends aspect, you may want to seek some professional help for that if it's still bothering you.

.02

 

[yummybrownfox]

Unfortunately, college in my area is extremely expensive-
$25,000 a year.

When Sevrin said to "Graduate from something else, and attend that ceremony," I didn't think of it as just graduating from college. I took it as setting a goal for yourself and doing something nice for yourself to celebrate when you've achieved it.

Going from being a daycare center 'Teacher Assistant'...to eventually becoming 'Center Director'.
Like a wedding singer starting out getting one paid gig every other week...to eventually doing three paid gigs EVERY week.
From buying four coffees a day...to bringing it down to one coffee a day.
From not being able to get past Level One of the GunSmoke Nintendo video game...to killing all those sons of bitches and beating the entire game and collecting your reward.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I never went to prom or homecoming. Reason: I hate Rap.

Didn't wanna listen to fellas on the mic with one minute rhymes that don't come out right?

 

[Guy]

When Sevrin said to "Graduate from something else, and attend that ceremony," I didn't think of it as just graduating from college. I took it as setting a goal for yourself and doing something nice for yourself to celebrate when you've achieved it.

Going from being a daycare center 'Teacher Assistant'...to eventually becoming 'Center Director'.
Like a wedding singer starting out getting one paid gig every other week...to eventually doing three paid gigs EVERY week.
From buying four coffees a day...to bringing it down to one coffee a day.
From not being able to get past Level One of the GunSmoke Nintendo video game...to killing all those sons of bitches and beating the entire game and collecting your reward.

Can't really think of any goals. I've already beat a couple of video games. I'll be starting a new job at a hotel this month but its nothing special.

 

[JickyJuly]

High school is a racket. I wish I'd gotten my GED and dropped out as soon as I was old enough. My mom threw me a graduation party and called it my graduation gift from my parents. My friends weren't invited, not that I had friends like that, and she roasted a pig despite my not eating mammals at the time. Good times.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

My friends weren't invited, not that I had friends like that, and she roasted a pig despite my not eating mammals at the time. Good times.

Think I remember eating at Ryan's after ours.

 

[Guy]

High school is a racket. I wish I'd gotten my GED and dropped out as soon as I was old enough. My mom threw me a graduation party and called it my graduation gift from my parents. My friends weren't invited, not that I had friends like that, and she roasted a pig despite my not eating mammals at the time. Good times.

What did you dislike about High School?

 

[yummybrownfox]

Can't really think of any goals. I've already beat a couple of video games. I'll be starting a new job at a hotel this month but its nothing special.

I'm sure you can come up with something. A lot of people are on here giving you great advice, Guy. Don't be quick to dismiss the advice, because you're gonna have even more regrets if you keep making excuses. Come up with some goals now, and do things you enjoy now while you're still a single man without kids (if/when you start a family, you're gonna be very busy...lol).

 

[Remykins]

Did you skip your party too?

What party? Prom? I went to prom....which was lame. It was literally in a barn lol. But if you're referring to a "post-graduation ceremony" party, there wasn't one. My grad ceremony took place in the evening, and by the time it was done it was like 10pm, and I dunno, grad parties weren't a thing at my HS I guess. I just stayed home and went to the HS office the next day to pick up my diploma.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Prom isn't really a thing over here so I've always wondered if it's really like the movies portray it - this big expensive extravagance that kids obsess over for months with socially enforced dates and spiked punch and a crap band and the prom queen and all that jazz. Or is it just an event that happens as a matter of course and nobody really gives a shit?

 

[Sevrin]

Prom isn't really a thing over here so I've always wondered if it's really like the movies portray it - this big expensive extravagance that kids obsess over for months with socially enforced dates and spiked punch and a crap band and the prom queen and all that jazz. Or is it just an event that happens as a matter of course and nobody really gives a shit?

The former, pretty much, at most high schools. It's a big season for limo companies in these parts. There's an organising committee, faculty chaperones and everything.

 

[fandango]

Prom isn't really a thing over here so I've always wondered if it's really like the movies portray it - this big expensive extravagance that kids obsess over for months with socially enforced dates and spiked punch and a crap band and the prom queen and all that jazz. Or is it just an event that happens as a matter of course and nobody really gives a shit?

You're from the UK right? Anyways don't know how old you are Bob but prom is totally a thing now, almost every school has one and a lot of A level colleges are starting to have them too. It's grown a lot over the last 10 years or so. I only had one when I was leaving school at 16 but I had a great time. Mine was nothing like how they make it out in the movies, some people had dates, some didnt and went solo, others went just as friends,we didn't have a prom King and Queen either and we had a DJ instead of a band. The sneaking alcohol past the teachers and Limos were like you see in the movies and after it was over we had a party bus so a huge load of us partied on that driving around London until the next morning. It wasn't the massive deal people make it out to be but just an excuse for a fun night.

We don't have school graduation ceremonies though you basically just turn up one day near the end of summer break and get an envelope with all your results. I did have a University graduation and it was one of the most boring things I've ever been to. You wait for hours in giant hall for your 10 seconds to walk across the stage and shake the hand of a guy who's apparently so important you've never even heard of him in the entire time your at the university. I'd already been to my older brothers ones so knew what to expect and wanted to skip mine but my parents wanted the photo op so I went more just to keep them happy.

 

[Guy]

You're from the UK right? Anyways don't know how old you are Bob but prom is totally a thing now, almost every school has one and a lot of A level colleges are starting to have them too. It's grown a lot over the last 10 years or so. I only had one when I was leaving school at 16 but I had a great time. Mine was nothing like how they make it out in the movies, some people had dates, some didnt and went solo, others went just as friends,we didn't have a prom King and Queen either and we had a DJ instead of a band. The sneaking alcohol past the teachers and Limos were like you see in the movies and after it was over we had a party bus so a huge load of us partied on that driving around London until the next morning. It wasn't the massive deal people make it out to be but just an excuse for a fun night.

We don't have school graduation ceremonies though you basically just turn up one day near the end of summer break and get an envelope with all your results. I did have a University graduation and it was one of the most boring things I've ever been to. You wait for hours in giant hall for your 10 seconds to walk across the stage and shake the hand of a guy who's apparently so important you've never even heard of him in the entire time your at the university. I'd already been to my older brothers ones so knew what to expect and wanted to skip mine but my parents wanted the photo op so I went more just to keep them happy.

High schools in the U.S have another dance in the fall called homecoming. Do they have that in the U.K too?

 

[Osmia]

I attended my HS graduation for one reason only: my parents insisted. They may have thought that missing the ceremony would be something I would regret later. That's a reasonable thing for parents to be concerned about, so in retrospect I don't regret going, even if it was mainly for their benefit. Even now (almost 40 years later) I still feel the same way (I would have skipped it if I could have, but it was only a couple of hours and I haven't looked back since). I skipped my university graduation and had my diploma mailed to me. I don't regret that (it was a large state university).

@Guy -- life is too short, and there's too much important stuff to do, to be wasting time and energy regretting old bullshit like high school. I don't mean to be snarky, but in all sincerity, maybe you would benefit from some talk therapy to work through these issues. There's nothing wrong with getting therapy (I've done it myself); it's just a way to start taking charge of your own life in the areas that are holding you back. If money is an obstacle, there are usually low-cost options. Just stop looking backward to high school.

 

[n_i_c_u]

I kind of had to go to graduation--my parents paid money and made me go to a private high school with no girls. I don't know why I had to do that because there was a perfectly good public high school (with girls) 10 minutes away from me--instead I had to get up an hour early, take public transportation to a shit school and then take another hour ride back home. I had no idea I could say "no" (the closest I ever got to saying "fuck this" was by not letting them purchase a stupid class ring--seemed like a big waste of money, but they really wanted me to have one).

The only thing I remember about graduation day was being on stage and my principal, after handing me the diploma, lightly grabbing my mullet with an eye to eye look of disdain. It had been an issue thru my last two years and she liked me because I did ok in school, but hated my hair (apparently she liked guys to have short hair). Unfortunately we had a week or so of school after the presentation and the dorky 'business' dorks I sat with at lunch couldn't help but give me as much shit as they could about walking on stage dressed in all black -- except for the fashion faux pas of white socks that were clearly visible because back then rolling up the pants legs was a thing. I had no help in dressing up--it was almost like when people don't tell you your pants zipper is undone or that you have a booger visible and they let you walk around all day looking odd. No one says anything and they then sure do love telling you later how big of an ass you were. I'm pretty sure there was no party afterwards.

Ultimately I think it was all about my parents who were happy they did what most parents do by being socially responsible and I went home and listened to the Motley Crue tape "Girls Girls Girls" in my room while "writing out poetry, in the dark, with a black pen on black paper" (kudos to henry rollins).

Guy, I'm not trying to pile on with all those others that wished they could have skipped it, but my life would have been better had I missed it (sorry about the lame horror story, I just wanted to relate somehow, even though it is small stuff for me). Of course I didn't learn from this and went to the College graduation and the only memories about me I have are my Dad yelling at me to look at him and smile while he took pictures as I walked in line with everyone else (I just kinda wanted to be like everyone else and get to my seat and get it over with).

 

[n_i_c_u]

I just noticed that no one ever asked why you didn't go to graduation (if they did I missed it..I have bad reading).

If I can be one to applaud you for your decision, I do. I do admire a person that made a out-of-the-ordinary decision --so many social factors--and life is weird (my fav Joan Jett song here):

 

[SaffronBurke]

Ah, graduation. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair for an hour, walking around the room, and then sitting on the stupid uncomfortable chair for another hour.

You can get the same experience riding a bus cross town and back. The resulting back pain and boredom are about the same.

 

[SoTxBob]

Guy,
you seem to be stuck in the past with no real life goals. Despite everyone's addiction to them, beating games is not a goal that will do anything for you in life unless you work for a game development company. It doesn't promote your advancement in the real world. Perhaps it would be beneficial to get a life coach for awhile or even some therapy if this HS thing is really grating on you as it seems. Find something that you enjoy and are good at and turn it into a marketable skill. This side of the world is filled with so many opportunities and different directions you can go. Forget HS and throw yourself a party if that's what you feel you missed. If you don't know who to invite, have a block party. Invite neighbors, put up a few flyers and a yard sign. Make new acquaintances. Spend some time interacting IRL with other 'walking meat'. Lamenting over the past and what-ifs in life do nothing for anyone but create fear and doubts for the next adventure. I dont mean to sound harsh or demeaning but as someone older that has walked a similar road at times and has seen death from way too close of a vantage point, don't waste this life you have by looking back. The past cant be changed. Take charge of your future and " drive it like you stole it."

 

[Mila_]

 

[Zoomer]

Not sure if this is real... anyhew, I'll offer you this as I have both skipped, and attended, ceremonies - which offers BOTH perspectives

You've probably elevated the significance of it to somewhere which is making you think wistfully about it. Honestly, not worth it (though maybe US ceremonies are more fantastic than UK ones ).

My first degree I didn't go to the ceremony, I skipped it.
My second degree, I went to the ceremony.

In all honesty I remember the ceremony less than I remember 1001 other events in my life. It was expensive, it was boring, and certainly far less important (the work had been done). The only reason to go to it was for my parents. They got to watch me walk across stage for a total of 15s - in which you shake the hand of the head of school, pick up a piece of paper and walk off. For those 15s it cost a small fortune in both gown rental and photographs. Afterwards my parents had tea/juice with other parents and got to meet/chat with my supervisor/head of school. They seemed to enjoy it, I personally had no real care for it.

It's a day for parents more than those taking part (in all honesty); I don't even have a photo of it (or if I do, I haven't seen it). So don't over exaggerate the importance of the "day". Maybe if you see lots of other people's photos of graduation ceremony/robes it can seem important and feel lacking - but who cares. Honestly. The achievement is in your qualification and what it took to earn it, what you learned, what skills you gained, the experiences and friendships. The importance/achievement is not based on 15s across a stage and a smug looking photograph.

So you haven't missed much. Don't believe us? Then go watch one (if observers are allowed of course!). Just arrive about 2 hours before and hang around for about 2 hours after.

Bottom line, if when I die I get to see a flashback of my life, if that ceremony plays any part in that flashback I'll be pissed that much more important, interesting, fun, and enjoyable items were pushed out in favour of it.

 

[TacoBelle]

Guy, I'm sorry that you are regretting missed experiences. They say that we almost always regret the things we didn't do more than the things we did. However, to help ease your mind, I'll give my graduation memories so you can share my experience.

A bit of a prologue here: For at least 5 years prior to my graduation year, a local used-car lot would donate a car to a random student who had missed absolutely NO days of highschool (all 4 years). So I made it a point to have perfect attendance. Went to school sick (I know, I know, that's bad). Went after severely hurting myself instead of staying home to recouperate. And on days that the snow was so deep that the busses couldn't drive down my road, I would walk the ~2 miles to the main road, then wait for 30ish minutes to meet the bus. All to avoid missing days.

Graduation day: Woke up early, kinda nervous. Fought with family about who's driving whom, where they're gonna park, etc. Seniors had to arrive 3 hours before the ceremony starts, so I drove to school. Fussed with the cap for an hour (and then for the remainder of the day, cause those things are uncomfortable and not suited to actually stay ON YOUR HEAD very well). Waited around to be allowed into the gym. Got yelled at by teachers for being in the wrong place, even though another teacher had told us to wait there. We had to go through the rehearsal THREE more times that day. Then we had to stand in the hallway for over an hour while family members/friends arrived and got seated. FINALLY got to walk in. Sat in a hard, plastic chair for an hour while different teachers/alumni/politicians/preachers gave speeches and prayers.

Then they had everyone with perfect attendance stand up to 'be recognized.' I was one of three. My chances of winning the car were SO GOOD. Nope. This was the first year that the car lot stopped giving out cars. I had done all that work to simply stand up for 5 seconds in front of hundreds of viewers. I was a bit annoyed, to say the least.

The principal announced to the viewers to hold all your applause until the end instead of applauding for your family member. NO ONE LISTENED. Every name that was called inspired a cacophony of shouts and applause. JerryAcorn*: wolf-whistles and screams. FrancineApplebee*: stomping, clapping and shouts. JeremiahAzaran*: foghorn. This happened for every person. When it finally got to my turn: silence. Dead silence. Because, apparently, this was the ONE TIME that my family decided to actually follow the rules. Ugh. It still makes my heart sink to remember it.

Then, my family left. No jokes and pictures afterward. No nothing. They were sick of sitting in a hot, smelly, cramped gym, bumping knees with strangers. So as soon as I got my diploma, they cut out. Lucky them.

*****
Fast forward to my friend's graduation party. I had been dating a guy for a few months, and he was nice, but we just didn't click. However, I felt obligated to continue dating him because he had a micropenis, and I felt that if I broke up with him too soon, he would assume it was because of his penis (it wasn't). However, I invited him to attend the party with me. The night wound down, and we all picked out a tent to sleep in. He crawls into my tent, and proclaims his undying love for me. Says that he's been waiting for this night his entire life. Then pulls a strip of condoms from his pocket. I swear, there were like 10 of them, all connected. And when he held the top one, they all unrolled like a Jacob's Ladder. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Like, how much sex did he think we were gonna have in that one night?!

But like I said, he had a tiny penis. Literally the same length and girth of my pointer finger. And I didn't know how to tell him no. That's the only time in my life that I've had sex with someone out of pity**. So he tried to get a condom on, and ended up breaking the first one. No worries, we've got enough for a small army! Onto the second wrapper. He managed to get it on his penis, but because they were normal-sized condoms, it didn't fit. He had to manually HOLD the condom around the base of his penis. I assume this is similar to when you hear about people using sandwich bags. Anyway, I was a virgin, and couldn't even FEEL him inside of me (obviously, I didn't tell him that). He came immediately (luckily, the condom did its job). But it was a terrible experience for me. I didn't want to have sex with him, and now I will always have to count that emotionless experience when claiming partners. I was a stupid kid.


I wish that I had never gone to that graduation party. I wish that I had never attended graduation. And I wish that I had grown more of a backbone to take charge of my life and do what I wanted back then. But I thought that maybe hearing MY experiences of how badly things can go might help you not glamorize the things you missed, Guy.







*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
**It was pity because of him having just professed his love for me when I knew that I didn't love him. Not pity because of his penis. There's nothing wrong with having abnormal genitalia.

 

[SoTxBob]

I felt obligated to continue dating him because he had a micropenis,

See there Iris? Its true. You ARE too nice.
~ but this is the best line in the whole thread.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

However, I felt obligated to continue dating him because he had a micropenis, and I felt that if I broke up with him too soon, he would assume it was because of his penis...

But like I said, he had a tiny penis. Literally the same length and girth of my pointer finger. And I didn't know how to tell him no...

Anyway, I was a virgin, and couldn't even FEEL him inside of me (obviously, I didn't tell him that). He came immediately (luckily, the condom did its job)...

That's one hella bad graduation story allright.

Sounds like you would have been an ideal prom date though.