Shitty Ask-a-Model - Like Ask-a-Model only shittier

[zippypinhead]

They say there are no stupid questions. This thread aims to put that adage to the test! Got a question so dumb that the reading of it might cause brain damage? Ever dream of a career as an unqualified internet expert, spouting off whatever gibberish comes to you in a stream-of-consciousness trance? Then this thread is for you!


(For the purposes of total clarity, this thread is modeled after the "shitty" subs found on Reddit, specifically r/shittyaskscience and its siblings. Ask some silly questions, and have fun answering them!)

 

[zippypinhead]

I've noticed that several models with variations of the name Zoey have curly hair. Does the name Zoey, Zoe, or Zooey cause the hair to curl, or does curly hair cause an unrelenting desire to curl one's hair?

 

[SexySteph]

I've noticed that several models with variations of the name Zoey have curly hair. Does the name Zoey, Zoe, or Zooey cause the hair to curl, or does curly hair cause an unrelenting desire to curl one's hair?

Matter of fact, my real name IS Zooeie but when I started camming I began going by Steph and... whaddyaknow my hair stays straight now! It's really frustrating since my hair was naturally curly I haven't quite mastered curling it with hot tools yet.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

They say there are no stupid questions. This thread aims to put that adage to the test! Got a question so dumb that the reading of it might cause brain damage? Ever dream of a career as an unqualified internet expert, spouting off whatever gibberish comes to you in a stream-of-consciousness trance? Then this thread is for you!


(For the purposes of total clarity, this thread is modeled after the "shitty" subs found on Reddit, specifically r/shittyaskscience and its siblings. Ask some silly questions, and have fun answering them!)

Is the reddit thread named after the original?

 

[Kunra9]

Do you ladies ever ice down your vaginas after a really long/vigorous night on cam?

Ya know, like a pitcher will ice down his shoulder after 7 innings.

 

[ScarletVixen]

Do you ladies ever ice down your vaginas after a really long/vigorous night on cam?

Ya know, like a pitcher will ice down his shoulder after 7 innings.

I usually take a warm bath with lots of soap after a cam session and oil my lady bits with Coconut Oil or Vitamin E Oil after I'm dry. Keeps things from rubbing when I'm sleeping and seems to help everything heal when/if it needs to.

Ice...not so much. Brrrrr.

 

[LailaBaise]

Do you ladies ever ice down your vaginas after a really long/vigorous night on cam?

Ya know, like a pitcher will ice down his shoulder after 7 innings.

A bag of frozen sprouts down my granny pants usually does the trick. :thumbleft:

 

[Kittycatpurr]

Do you ladies ever ice down your vaginas after a really long/vigorous night on cam?

Ya know, like a pitcher will ice down his shoulder after 7 innings.

A bag of frozen sprouts down my granny pants usually does the trick. :thumbleft:

I've always favored the anti-mastitis trick I learned when my son was young. Bruise a cabbage leaf that's been in the fridge and walk around with it hanging out of my pants. I find that the man in the local shop gives me special attention when i do.

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

What's the largest cock you've ever been asked about? Would you ever appear in a video with a guy asking about his large cock? Why or why not, and what does your boyfriend think about this? Please include your Social Security number and your favorite type of cheese, so I'll know it's really you when we meet to have babies.

 

[KaterinaPryde]

What's the largest cock you've ever been asked about? Would you ever appear in a video with a guy asking about his large cock? Why or why not, and what does your boyfriend think about this? Please include your Social Security number and your favorite type of cheese, so I'll know it's really you when we meet to have babies.

My SS# is 666-66-6666 - Yes I may have some demonic tendencies.

Cheese would have to be Gouda - because its Gouda in my mouth!

Biggest cock asked about would be 13 inches - I would only be in a video with said 13 inch penis guy if he would allow a unicorn to rip down his underwear so all the leprechauns could laugh when it was revealed he actually meant centimeters and not inches (I know how confusing a ruler can be)

But I have to warn you our babies would be part kangaroo - don't ask......

 

[TacoBelle]

Got a question so dumb that the reading of it might cause brain damage? Ever dream of a career as an unqualified internet expert, spouting off whatever gibberish comes to you in a stream-of-consciousness trance?

No. And yes, I would love to be an unqualified internet expert.

OOOOOOOH, those weren't the ask-a-model questions? Then you shouldn't have tried being rhetorical. :lol:

 

[pg240]

What does a lady boner look like?

 

[zippypinhead]

Got a question so dumb that the reading of it might cause brain damage? Ever dream of a career as an unqualified internet expert, spouting off whatever gibberish comes to you in a stream-of-consciousness trance?

No. And yes, I would love to be an unqualified internet expert.

OOOOOOOH, those weren't the ask-a-model questions? Then you shouldn't have tried being rhetorical. :lol:

Or perhaps it was a clever ruse to get you to participate in an informal poll. Ha! Your data point has been recorded! You fell right into my trap!

 

[Sevrin]

How do we know when a model is faking an orgasm? If anyone could provide a checklist or something, that would be awesome. Are there any models who give bulk discounts for multiple orgasms?

 

[Jillybean]

How do we know when a model is faking an orgasm? If anyone could provide a checklist or something, that would be awesome. Are there any models who give bulk discounts for multiple orgasms?

The only item on your checklist should be:

• Face contorts and it looks like she's lost all control of her facial muscles.

That means the orgasm is real, in my case at least. I make the DUMBEST faces.

And seriously, I think that there are bulk discounts for multiple orgasms. I've seen models finish a huge cumshow countdown, and throw up a much smaller one for orgasm #2. Sorry that second answer wasn't very silly.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Being cam girls, it stands to reason that you're all sex addicted nymphettes and spend at least 16 hours a day either having sex or feeding the pony while all those pics of member's dicks run through your mind's eye like some cockoscopic slideshow. What do you fill the rest of your day with?

 

[LadyLuna]

What does a lady boner look like?

It looks like a baby carrot. If you see one that looks like cauliflower, advise her to seek medical attention. If you see one that looks like broccoli, RUN!

 

[Kunra9]

What does a lady boner look like?

It looks like a baby carrot. If you see one that looks like cauliflower, advise her to seek medical attention. If you see one that looks like broccoli, RUN!

What if the broccoli has a little melted cheese on it? I do love cheese on broccoli. Infact I love cheese on just about everything. Except bacon. Bacon is perfect just the way it is.

 

[yossarian]

Do you ever go out in public and make a motion like you're throwing invisible confetti around and scream "I have all the tokens, you peasants! Look upon my tokens and marvel!"?

 

[Shaun__]

What does a lady boner look like?

 

[AllisonWilder]

Being cam girls, it stands to reason that you're all sex addicted nymphettes and spend at least 16 hours a day either having sex or feeding the pony while all those pics of member's dicks run through your mind's eye like some cockoscopic slideshow. What do you fill the rest of your day with?

I like to spend the rest of my day eating popcorn and fantasizing about all the air-licking cam2cam sessions I've been a part of. I need something to get me going for the next 16-hour sexing session!

 

[AllisonWilder]

Do you ever go out in public and make a motion like you're throwing invisible confetti around and scream "I have all the tokens, you peasants! Look upon my tokens and marvel!"?

Heck no, I use actual nickels. And when people start getting upset about all the screaming (and the getting pelted with nickels), I run back to my car and drive away.

 

[Sevrin]

How do we know when a model is faking an orgasm? If anyone could provide a checklist or something, that would be awesome. Are there any models who give bulk discounts for multiple orgasms?

The only item on your checklist should be:

• Face contorts and it looks like she's lost all control of her facial muscles.

Ooooh, I've had models do that when I've asked about bulk discounts for multiple orgasms! Who knew it was that easy?

 

[LadyLuna]

What does a lady boner look like?

It looks like a baby carrot. If you see one that looks like cauliflower, advise her to seek medical attention. If you see one that looks like broccoli, RUN!

What if the broccoli has a little melted cheese on it? I do love cheese on broccoli. Infact I love cheese on just about everything. Except bacon. Bacon is perfect just the way it is.

If you see a lady boner that looks like broccoli with melted cheese on it, run away faster.

 

[yossarian]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

 

[LilyMarie]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

No, but on facebook, several times I was THIS CLOSE to sending a nsfw or ACF link to a friend who doesn't know what I do instead of to one of the models I'm facebook friends with.
I usually have several chat tabs open on facebook because I'm such a smart cookie. :roll: I'm really just waiting for the day it'll inevitably happen and this will be my exact reaction:

 

[LadyLuna]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

No, but I accidentally sent my dad the video of me stripping naked and a member the video of me singing happy birthday twice (once properly, once off-key with the rotten lyrics). Luckily, my dad didn't quite have a heart-attack, but the conversation was AWKWARD for the next year.



Not actually true, but I thought that was the spirit of the thread.

 

[zippypinhead]

WHY IS THAT GIF ANIMATED BACKWARDS?!

 

[mynameisbob84]

Why do so many models use the Hitachi incorrectly? Clearly it's designed for vaginal penetration and yet most models just use it on their clit. Being a cultured guy, I don't mind a bit of artsy fartsy teasing, but when I lay down a 10 token tip, I wanna see some penetration, dammit :?

 

[KaterinaPryde]

Why do so many models use the Hitachi incorrectly? Clearly it's designed for vaginal penetration and yet most models just use it on their clit. Being a cultured guy, I don't mind a bit of artsy fartsy teasing, but when I lay down a 10 token tip, I wanna see some penetration, dammit :?

You know, I thought about using it for penetration.....then I was scared that once inserted my pussy might suck it in too far (like a vacuum) and I am pretty sure you shouldn't get it too wet.....or you might get electrocuted. However a bit of shock therapy might be a good idea......