Okay. I am 22, unemployed, and currently living with my boyfriend/ my daughter's father. We have been together for 3.5 years. I have looked for jobs, but the best offers would barely cover gas to and from work after daycare. im making more on my unemployment than that, and i have a lot of experience and training for the jobs i have applied for. My bf owns his own hvac company, but has not been paying taxes. what he makes is almost not enough to cover the bills anymore. without government help, we'd be screwed. Basically, i have become frustrated lately, and i know he has too. I cheated on him, and the guy i began seeing suggested this career path. I'd never even thought about it! but i truly feel like this job was made for me. The bf, however, is still angry that i cheated, obviously, but what i want to address is WHY i cheated. i'm tired of being dependent on someone else. i want to be able to go out and do the things i want and have money to buy things. its a lonely life sitting at home all day, why can i not chat and make a little money while im at it?
i just feel like he wants to control me. He has lied about things too, but i never had access to anything personal to check, like he did. and its not that hes a prude, bc he sure as heck will find any girl to watch me have sex with. but yet, i never get laid. i just think there is something seriously wrong here, why is it so wrong to want to make some extra cash? he even said if he thought i could make enough, hed let me. but i really think i could! im tiny, im young, im pretty, ive heard it all my life. even after a baby... and i think that fact seems to make me more attractive! i understand that hes worried that id run off with some other guy, but if i wanted to be a prostitute, id be begging him for money! or anyone else for that matter! i just dont see the harm in having fun and making a living at the same time. am i wrong here? idk. i just really really want to do this. but what if i do and make nothing?
i just feel like he wants to control me. He has lied about things too, but i never had access to anything personal to check, like he did. and its not that hes a prude, bc he sure as heck will find any girl to watch me have sex with. but yet, i never get laid. i just think there is something seriously wrong here, why is it so wrong to want to make some extra cash? he even said if he thought i could make enough, hed let me. but i really think i could! im tiny, im young, im pretty, ive heard it all my life. even after a baby... and i think that fact seems to make me more attractive! i understand that hes worried that id run off with some other guy, but if i wanted to be a prostitute, id be begging him for money! or anyone else for that matter! i just dont see the harm in having fun and making a living at the same time. am i wrong here? idk. i just really really want to do this. but what if i do and make nothing?