Recruiting models to live in old cabin in the woods, RENT FREE!

[zippypinhead]

Live in a rustic cabin deep in a dense forest in the mountainous inland northwest US, miles and miles from any pesky civilization! Live the idyllic, contractually-obligated nudist lifestyle close to nature that you've always dreamed about, live and streaming over the internet 24/7, and get paid a small percentage of net earnings for doing it! You'll get used to all the noises and odd happenings, and you'll learn to love those wacky neighbors of yours, with their midnight chainsawing and moon-howling, we promise!

PM me for more info, and if anyone has a problem with this totally legitimate plan that doesn't involve sacrificing nubile young people who are hopeful for a better life to a pantheon of eldritch horrors, you can go straight to hell! You don't know anything about the business, and you're too ugly to make us money!

 

[Gen]

 

[xDollPartsx]

 

[Lexi Emerson]

I'm fuckin in! Nothing fishy about this!

 

[Gen]

 

[zippypinhead]

EDIT: This is an example of what would NOT HAPPEN!

Don't be ignorant and jealous, people.

 

[CharlieCharma]

Why won't this embed? Wtf.

 

[AudriTwo]

Last night's camshow was STUPID HOT

 

[LilyOhRiley]

 

[Magnolia]

This seems interesting. Can you say more about it? How does one get involved?


























Do you allow cats?

 

[zippypinhead]

This seems interesting. Can you say more about it? How does one get involved?




















Do you allow cats?

Cats are compulsory.

 

[Protocosmo]

Cats are compulsory.

Don't you mean upholstery?

 

[zippypinhead]

Despite what people may be thinking, model-owned cats are there for COMPANIONSHIP ONLY! They are NOT there to help fulfill a quota for unnecessary jump scares, and/or serve as familiars for unholy otherworldly beings. We are running a real-life nudism-based Duck Dynasty style camsite featuring sexy real-life human people. How would a jump scare on a camsite even work?! This is vicious speculation by stupid idiots! It's covered in our FAQ (currently down for revision, sorry.)

 

[SaffronBurke]

and/or serve as familiars for unholy otherworldly beings.

Goddammit, that excludes me. Fuck, I was so excited, too!

 

[AudriTwo]

Well I have officially died from laughing. Hey, I get to finally have a cat with your policies! I can touch it and not die! God Bless you!

 

[zippypinhead]

Goddammit, that excludes me. Fuck, I was so excited, too!

I'm sorry, but unholy otherworldly beings and their associates have been banned following too many infractions of rules set forth in our model agreement.














I'll be in touch.

 

[Bocefish]

Sounds like a wonderful place!

Ideal for budding authors that want to write a book about their life being a cam model!

Hmmm... 'I Spit On Your Grave' comes to mind for some reason.

 

[zippypinhead]

The cabin's lovable hill-folk neighbors are simply happy to make friends with models, and hunt them for sport.

EDIT: I mean hunt WITH them for sport! Haha, oops!

 

[SaffronBurke]

I'm sorry, but unholy otherworldly beings and their associates have been banned following too many infractions of rules set forth in our model agreement.














I'll be in touch.

As the eldest spawn of Satan herself, I take offense to this.

 

[zippypinhead]

As the eldest spawn of Satan herself, I take offense to this.

Rules violations are rules violations, so take it up with your associates. Satan is a stickler when it comes to contracts. His spawn should be, too.

 

[Sdog1982]

Do you need security? I can help keep models within the grounds and I also have really awesome buck teeth and a beer gut.

 

[zippypinhead]

All applicants should be aware that life in the woods, though serene, does bring you into contact with many different allergens. Those with sensitivities to things like pollen, bee stings, cooked human flesh, alien zygotes, etc., should come prepared. We are not responsible for injuries sustained by dumbasses who don't know their limits!

 

[IntiLive]

I'm totally in for this - do you also offer transportation? How long does one stay there?

 

[zippypinhead]

Transportation is so simple, it'll be as if you've woken up with no idea how you got there. And once you're there, the experience will be so great, you'll never leave!

 

[Johndoe91]

Unless I missed it, you didnt specify that said models have to be women...

















So yes, Im in, and Ill be bring my own chainsaw(s)

 

[EllaGray]

I'm so in! This is the most legit sounding camming gig I've seen in years! Absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong here at all. Also...CATSSSSS!! Can we name the site "MyFreeCats"?

 

[Lelo1]

10/10, I would do it again.

 

[headgasket]

I all ready live this lifestyle. Good luck getting internet for multiple cam models, or if you have reliable internet, how do you do it? After several years I was able to sign onto a microwave WISP, and even then, I'm on the questionable outskirts with line of sight. Sometimes in the middle of a show, my signal will drop and then I have to move antenna. It still sure beats very limited satellite. I thought about doing a show while chopping firewood, but I'm sure someone would report it as "dangerous behavior".

I'd take you up on the offer, but if you saw me coming up your driveway, you'd give me money NOT to be naked. In any event, I might come out ahead.

 

[Lexi Emerson]

SPEAKING OF CATS AND DEFINITELY NOT WEIRD/CREEPY THINGS IN CABINS... can I bring Arabella? I promise she won't try to kill anyone in this wonderfully not creepy cabin.

 

[zippypinhead]

@SaffronSundae our broadcasting methods are currently a trade secret. It's a proprietary technology involving complex non-euclidean geometries to boost signal output. I'd explain further, and I like to nerd out about this sort of thing, but every time I get into it, it drives people up a wall with what I assume is pure boredom. Pretty dry stuff, really.

@LexiSloan ah, the ol' Tumblr picture switcheroo! So, which one's Arabella, and which one's you?