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Ladies: what are your top dating deal breakers?
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He's not friendly & polite to service people.
He doesn't like animals.
He is condescending or arrogant.
He smells bad or seems unclean.
He doesn't have a lot going on in his life (I don't really care what kind of job/friends/social life/hobbies he has, just that he is fairly busy and independent, with interests - basically I want to date someone who is busy and happy with their life before I come along.)
If it gets to the point where he meets my friends, he has to be friendly to them and at least be able to get along with them. If not, that's a dealbreaker.
He doesn't like animals.
He is condescending or arrogant.
He smells bad or seems unclean.
He doesn't have a lot going on in his life (I don't really care what kind of job/friends/social life/hobbies he has, just that he is fairly busy and independent, with interests - basically I want to date someone who is busy and happy with their life before I come along.)
If it gets to the point where he meets my friends, he has to be friendly to them and at least be able to get along with them. If not, that's a dealbreaker.
Worship Jaclyn
Inactive Cam Model
This isn't going to be helpful for you because everyone is different. There isn't a set thing that women as a whole won't tolerate and what would be a deal breaker for one woman would be a huge turn on to another.
But if you're just curious, mine would be if he:
Is a negative person, always looking at the downside, has a victim mentality.
Isn't physically affectionate outside of the bedroom.
Is needy or clingy in any way.
Isn't polite to service people.
Is a show off, just tries too hard.
Doesn't take care of himself physically. I don't care if a guy smokes or works out or how he eats but he can't binge drink, eat junk food, never exercise and smoke. He has to like be aware that he is mortal I guess.
Drinks. I'm actually fine with some drugs but I just don't like men who drink.
But if you're just curious, mine would be if he:
Is a negative person, always looking at the downside, has a victim mentality.
Isn't physically affectionate outside of the bedroom.
Is needy or clingy in any way.
Isn't polite to service people.
Is a show off, just tries too hard.
Doesn't take care of himself physically. I don't care if a guy smokes or works out or how he eats but he can't binge drink, eat junk food, never exercise and smoke. He has to like be aware that he is mortal I guess.
Drinks. I'm actually fine with some drugs but I just don't like men who drink.
Since it came up in both of the last two posts, and at risk of a derail, what exactly is a "service person"? The best I get online is the gender-and-branch-inclusive term for members of the military, or possibly a person providing maintenance on machinery. I'm all for appreciating people that fight for my country and service our machinery, and I get that being an outright asshole to either group would be a problem, but this seems like an oddly specific deal-breaker. I'm not a lady, but I guess for my part, if you're an asshole to pretty much any group of people, that's probably a deal breaker. Except assholes.
Worship Jaclyn
Inactive Cam Model
I meant it as a waiter or cashier but it would also apply hair dresser, retail worker, anything where it's the person's job description to help and/or wait on you. I actually was trying to think of the word and saw Gen used that term so I used it too. Of course being an asshole to anyone is not good but there are a lot of people who are nice to most people but will treat these people rudely as if they are above them. It's also just a good example because on most first dates you get to see how the guy treats these people so it's a quick way to get a feel for someone's character in my opinion.
Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, fuck that guy (or gal) that doesn't appreciate the people that make your out-on-the-town funtimes happen.
TattooedMilfyMama
Inactive Cam Model
Hmmm see i never really thought about it, but that is probaly why i had so many rubbish relationships, im a gal that trys to help everyone, so i get alot of stray ducks, that cause me to re-evaluate my ideals:
Good sense of humor...
Not to be too sensitive
Emotionally stable!
Be independent and not too clingy (but likes to give attention too)
Not too many wants ... i can work with alot.. or well used too, kinda found my guy 7 months ago now and a happy kitty indeed!
x
Good sense of humor...
Not to be too sensitive
Emotionally stable!
Be independent and not too clingy (but likes to give attention too)
Not too many wants ... i can work with alot.. or well used too, kinda found my guy 7 months ago now and a happy kitty indeed!
x100% what GenXoxo said.
If he wants kids, at all, even the remotest possibility of wanting kids. (Must shudder in horror at the thought of having kids.)
If he is uneasy about or just kind of okay with my job. (Must be willing to help me with camera rigging, clip idea brainstorming, discussing my work in a positive way.)
If he drinks/uses drugs heavily.
If he is religious, with a few exceptions. (I'm a pretty staunch atheist.)
If he wants kids, at all, even the remotest possibility of wanting kids. (Must shudder in horror at the thought of having kids.)
If he is uneasy about or just kind of okay with my job. (Must be willing to help me with camera rigging, clip idea brainstorming, discussing my work in a positive way.)
If he drinks/uses drugs heavily.
If he is religious, with a few exceptions. (I'm a pretty staunch atheist.)
My deal breakers:
Wanting a monogamous relationship ( I am poly through and through)
Wanting kids
Limiting my job in any way
Not being willing to go to kink/fetish events with me
Being rude to service people
Being religious
Hardcore drug use or drinking
Wanting a monogamous relationship ( I am poly through and through)
Wanting kids
Limiting my job in any way
Not being willing to go to kink/fetish events with me
Being rude to service people
Being religious
Hardcore drug use or drinking
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My deal breakers are:
Someone who is constantly negative about everything
Someone who does not respect or support me in my career choices
Someone who can't have a healthy discussion or argument without acting like a child and casting blame
Someone who can't see that they might not always be right (basically someone that thinks they are gods gift to mankind)
Someone who wants to spend their entire life surrounded by the same old thing, doesn't have any get up and go to go explore the rest of the world
Drug use and drinking
Being religious
Being rude
Being controlling
Someone who is constantly negative about everything
Someone who does not respect or support me in my career choices
Someone who can't have a healthy discussion or argument without acting like a child and casting blame
Someone who can't see that they might not always be right (basically someone that thinks they are gods gift to mankind)
Someone who wants to spend their entire life surrounded by the same old thing, doesn't have any get up and go to go explore the rest of the world
Drug use and drinking
Being religious
Being rude
Being controlling
You ladies are all so easy to please!
I bet you all have many more deal breakers you are not thinking of or not writing about.
What about income and finances, physical characteristics such as age difference and height. Similar interests or hobbies, social skills etc.
I bet you all have many more deal breakers you are not thinking of or not writing about.
What about income and finances, physical characteristics such as age difference and height. Similar interests or hobbies, social skills etc.
I love the phrase "stray ducks" haha. People say i'm too nice so i've dealt with my fair share of stray ducks in my time rather than kicking them back to the pondHmmm see i never really thought about it, but that is probaly why i had so many rubbish relationships, im a gal that trys to help everyone, so i get alot of stray ducks, that cause me to re-evaluate my ideals:
Good sense of humor...
Not to be too sensitive
Emotionally stable!
Be independent and not too clingy (but likes to give attention too)
Not too many wants ... i can work with alot.. or well used too, kinda found my guy 7 months ago now and a happy kitty indeed!
Quackers
TattooedMilfyMama
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Mine:
Condescension
People who can seemingly only talk about one subject.
People who consciously or unconsciously talk over people in conversations.
People who are too ready to rush into the idea of marriage/kids.
Passive aggressiveness...just tell me what's wrong, and we'll work it out. I'm patient, however I won't just wait until the day I can read your mind.
Ignoring/tuning out. Sure there are times when you've had a long day at work and need to decompress, but if you're going to tune out a large chunk of what I have to say, then it's just not worth it.
I like a good debate, but people who HAVE to win every argument are just pathetic.
People who can't make simple compromises.
Anyone who can't accept life goals, or tries to convince that their life goal is more important.
Body shaming/life-choice shaming.
Being jealous over anything that moves.
Cheaters. If I know you've cheated, I won't ever be able to feel like I can completely trust you. Same thing goes if I find the person to be a pathological liar.
Anyone who doesn't ever try to take care of their health/hygiene.
Anyone who won't let a person hang out with others.
Anyone who lashes out at criticism/overly angry/violent.
Condescension
People who can seemingly only talk about one subject.
People who consciously or unconsciously talk over people in conversations.
People who are too ready to rush into the idea of marriage/kids.
Passive aggressiveness...just tell me what's wrong, and we'll work it out. I'm patient, however I won't just wait until the day I can read your mind.
Ignoring/tuning out. Sure there are times when you've had a long day at work and need to decompress, but if you're going to tune out a large chunk of what I have to say, then it's just not worth it.
I like a good debate, but people who HAVE to win every argument are just pathetic.
People who can't make simple compromises.
Anyone who can't accept life goals, or tries to convince that their life goal is more important.
Body shaming/life-choice shaming.
Being jealous over anything that moves.
Cheaters. If I know you've cheated, I won't ever be able to feel like I can completely trust you. Same thing goes if I find the person to be a pathological liar.
Anyone who doesn't ever try to take care of their health/hygiene.
Anyone who won't let a person hang out with others.
Anyone who lashes out at criticism/overly angry/violent.
BiancaBaker
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I dont care about a guys income ( i make my own money) or job (as long as he has one)- I always said I want someone to come join the rollercoaster ride I am on and my boyfriend is amazing and fits all my criteria
*My Deal Breakers*
*wants kids (no kids for me)
*Drug use or Drinking (marijuana is fine- anything else NO)
*Isn't polite
*CANT ACCEPT MY JOB- or me working with other girls or tries to put restrictions on me.
*Cheaters
*Being Religious (I mean overly religious- I am okay with someone's decisions as long as they dont force me)
*Needy/Clingy
*Is rude and or has an attitude problem
*Physically or mentally abusive
*My Deal Breakers*
*wants kids (no kids for me)
*Drug use or Drinking (marijuana is fine- anything else NO)
*Isn't polite
*CANT ACCEPT MY JOB- or me working with other girls or tries to put restrictions on me.
*Cheaters
*Being Religious (I mean overly religious- I am okay with someone's decisions as long as they dont force me)
*Needy/Clingy
*Is rude and or has an attitude problem
*Physically or mentally abusive
Honesty.
Sense of humor.
Doesnt shower daily.
Doesn't like animals.
Isn't touchy feely ever.
Complete selfishness.
Loyalness and monogamous.
Abusive in any way to any one.
Current drug use or heavy drinking.
Rudeness to others unless called for.
Makes enough to at least fully support himself.
Willingness to take the bugs outside so I don't have to.
Must want to get married one day and possibility of children.
Willingness to share his hobbies, share mine, and find ones together.
Respectful to those different. (Handicapped, trans, gay, religions, etc.)
Plays games. Waits days to call and shit like that to get an "upper hand."
Puts effort in to the relationship. (Calls, texts, makes time for me in his life.)
Bad attitude or outlook on things all the time. The world is not out to get you bro.
Has a basic skill set of caring for themselves. Can cook basics, clean, do their laundry.
Will never say they were wrong or apologize or tries to blame every thing on me somehow.
Unwillingness to put me on their priority list. I dont have to be #1 all the time but sometimes.
Ability to communicate like an adult. Tell me wants, needs, desires, in fights, times of sadness, etc.
Short tempered or fights dirty (name calling, using personal things told to them against me, manipulation, etc)
Doesn't believe in evolution. (Sad that has to be said but i've run in to this before. Please believe in science.)
Someone who will go out in to the world with me AND can stay at home a night equally. Don't be up and on the go 24/7 or be a sloth.
Unwillingness to compromise or see any other point of view as valid but their own. The i'm right and you're wrong mentality about every single thing or only expects me to give in on things.
And lastly and just as important I do not ask for anything I don't bring to the table myself and expect the same in return.
Sense of humor.
Doesnt shower daily.
Doesn't like animals.
Isn't touchy feely ever.
Complete selfishness.
Loyalness and monogamous.
Abusive in any way to any one.
Current drug use or heavy drinking.
Rudeness to others unless called for.
Makes enough to at least fully support himself.
Willingness to take the bugs outside so I don't have to.
Must want to get married one day and possibility of children.
Willingness to share his hobbies, share mine, and find ones together.
Respectful to those different. (Handicapped, trans, gay, religions, etc.)
Plays games. Waits days to call and shit like that to get an "upper hand."
Puts effort in to the relationship. (Calls, texts, makes time for me in his life.)
Bad attitude or outlook on things all the time. The world is not out to get you bro.
Has a basic skill set of caring for themselves. Can cook basics, clean, do their laundry.
Will never say they were wrong or apologize or tries to blame every thing on me somehow.
Unwillingness to put me on their priority list. I dont have to be #1 all the time but sometimes.
Ability to communicate like an adult. Tell me wants, needs, desires, in fights, times of sadness, etc.
Short tempered or fights dirty (name calling, using personal things told to them against me, manipulation, etc)
Doesn't believe in evolution. (Sad that has to be said but i've run in to this before. Please believe in science.)
Someone who will go out in to the world with me AND can stay at home a night equally. Don't be up and on the go 24/7 or be a sloth.
Unwillingness to compromise or see any other point of view as valid but their own. The i'm right and you're wrong mentality about every single thing or only expects me to give in on things.
And lastly and just as important I do not ask for anything I don't bring to the table myself and expect the same in return.
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Worship Jaclyn
Inactive Cam Model
@British I would of course lust after a handsome guy slightly older than me with similar interests who isn't poor but I actually can't think of anything involving finances, appearance or age would be a deal breaker for me. There are plenty of things that would make me hesitate or really have to think but not many deal breakers. We would never meet anyone if we had a long list of "no way"s.
Poison_Ivy21
Inactive Cam Model
-People that smoke cigarettes. I can't do it, and I've found it's really limiting my dating pool lol
-Heavy/constant drinkers. Also really limiting my dating pool
-If you don't like my dog, gtfo
-Heavy thirst for knowledge is required
-Even heavier thirst for me, also required
-Jealous/insecure people need not apply
-Messy, unorganized people. Hell nah
-Cannot be a bad influence on my eating habits.
-Killer sexual chemistry is very important
-If you can't accept my job you don't need to be anywhere near me
-Must be an atheist to ride this ride
-Heavy/constant drinkers. Also really limiting my dating pool
-If you don't like my dog, gtfo
-Heavy thirst for knowledge is required
-Even heavier thirst for me, also required
-Jealous/insecure people need not apply
-Messy, unorganized people. Hell nah
-Cannot be a bad influence on my eating habits.
-Killer sexual chemistry is very important
-If you can't accept my job you don't need to be anywhere near me
-Must be an atheist to ride this ride
My dealbreakers:
Bad with money/gambles excessively
Stingy/cheap with money
Does excessive amounts of poisonous substances
Bad hygiene
Picks nose, teeth, feet, spits, farts, shits, pees all the time in public
Overly picky about food
OCD
Abusive
Hates animals
Racist
Low I.Q
Sociopathic
Criminal record that is completely at fault
DUI
Terrible in bed
Has a lot of ex-wives/girlfriends and children
Terrorists, Morbidly obese/thin, Closet homosexual/homophobe, Pedo
Bad with money/gambles excessively
Stingy/cheap with money
Does excessive amounts of poisonous substances
Bad hygiene
Picks nose, teeth, feet, spits, farts, shits, pees all the time in public
Overly picky about food
OCD
Abusive
Hates animals
Racist
Low I.Q
Sociopathic
Criminal record that is completely at fault
DUI
Terrible in bed
Has a lot of ex-wives/girlfriends and children
Terrorists, Morbidly obese/thin, Closet homosexual/homophobe, Pedo
My dealbreakers:
Overly religious,
Snobby (as in what's been said about being rude to staff of places we go to.)
Has an overly too close relationship with his Mother (bad experiences)
Not on his own 2 feet financially (I don't care how much money he has or hasn't as long as he pays his own bills)
Still lives with his parents in his mid 20s to 30s
Overly religious,
Snobby (as in what's been said about being rude to staff of places we go to.)
Has an overly too close relationship with his Mother (bad experiences
)Not on his own 2 feet financially (I don't care how much money he has or hasn't as long as he pays his own bills)
Still lives with his parents in his mid 20s to 30s
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It makes me so happy to see how many people put importance on kindness to others, especially service industry. 
super hearts!!!
super hearts!!!
JickyJuly
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If I don't work things out with my husband, I don't think I will ever bother with partnering up again. I have terrible taste in men, don't like women enough to really take it that far and don't have a lot of time. But, my for sure deal breakers would be:
Younger than me (I like the old dudes.)
Skinnier than me (not a lot of people fall into this category anyway)
Dangerous job even if it is courageous (I'm an anxiety case)
Doesn't like animals or only likes purebreed animals
Doesn't have compassion
Addiction or mental illness that is not dealt with fully
No chemical attraction
Late (people who value their own time above that of others are late)
Cancels plans without notice (see above)
Prissy or overly groomed
Judgey
Obsessed with money or stature
Not good at trying to understand the feelings of others
Mamas boys
Wants to live in a cold climate
Has minor children (Probably not pc since I am a mom and already a Stepmom. Don't want to judge someone for their parenting and I will.)
PS. @Jolene you tease. I saw that you answered this and came just to see what your deal breakers would look like. Hehehe.
Younger than me (I like the old dudes.)
Skinnier than me (not a lot of people fall into this category anyway)
Dangerous job even if it is courageous (I'm an anxiety case)
Doesn't like animals or only likes purebreed animals
Doesn't have compassion
Addiction or mental illness that is not dealt with fully
No chemical attraction
Late (people who value their own time above that of others are late)
Cancels plans without notice (see above)
Prissy or overly groomed
Judgey
Obsessed with money or stature
Not good at trying to understand the feelings of others
Mamas boys
Wants to live in a cold climate
Has minor children (Probably not pc since I am a mom and already a Stepmom. Don't want to judge someone for their parenting and I will.)
PS. @Jolene you tease. I saw that you answered this and came just to see what your deal breakers would look like. Hehehe.
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Oh fine Jicky, twist my arm!
-Lack of empathy-this covers SO many different things really
-Addiction or heavy drinking, heavy intoxication of any kind is super unattractive to me.
-Messy beyond normal people standards
-bad hygiene
-unfriendly in general
-religious (I'm cool with spiritual and curious of the cosmos just not organised religion)
-racism
-sexism
-inability to fully accept sex work (but would never judge someone for respectfully being unable to deal, it takes a certain type)
-I don't like that person... that's a pretty big deal breaker hahaha.
-Lack of empathy-this covers SO many different things really
-Addiction or heavy drinking, heavy intoxication of any kind is super unattractive to me.
-Messy beyond normal people standards
-bad hygiene
-unfriendly in general
-religious (I'm cool with spiritual and curious of the cosmos just not organised religion)
-racism
-sexism
-inability to fully accept sex work (but would never judge someone for respectfully being unable to deal, it takes a certain type)
-I don't like that person... that's a pretty big deal breaker hahaha.
Worship Jaclyn
Inactive Cam Model
This is making me think of more
Is cheap
Makes racist jokes, whether they consider themselves racist or not
Has a bad relationship with his Mom, I actually don't care if he is too close to his Mom but those Mommy issues, nope can't do it again
Is cheap
Makes racist jokes, whether they consider themselves racist or not
Has a bad relationship with his Mom, I actually don't care if he is too close to his Mom but those Mommy issues, nope can't do it again
You didn't ask but I'm going to post some of my dealbreakers anyway.
Women with no future or goals besides trying to find a dude to mooch off
Alcoholics and junkies, drinking and getting high is welcomed but must have self control and discipline.
Overweight or out of shape and not willing to try to improve themselves.
Has to be social and not want to just sit around all the time.
Has to be accepting of my friends. Doesn't have to like them, just can't try to make me stop hanging around them.
Needs to be willing to travel outside the U.S. or be accepting that I'll be gone for weeks sometimes.
Needs to be somewhat independant and have her own hobbies.
Laziness is also a huge dealbreaker.
Can't be really dirty or too slobby.
Has to get along with my mom(haha kinda joking but not really)
Women with no future or goals besides trying to find a dude to mooch off
Alcoholics and junkies, drinking and getting high is welcomed but must have self control and discipline.
Overweight or out of shape and not willing to try to improve themselves.
Has to be social and not want to just sit around all the time.
Has to be accepting of my friends. Doesn't have to like them, just can't try to make me stop hanging around them.
Needs to be willing to travel outside the U.S. or be accepting that I'll be gone for weeks sometimes.
Needs to be somewhat independant and have her own hobbies.
Laziness is also a huge dealbreaker.
Can't be really dirty or too slobby.
Has to get along with my mom(haha kinda joking but not really)
yummybrownfox
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*I can accept the fact that you're a smoker, but smoking a cigarette every 20 minutes indoors while sitting beside me...with your 2-3 cats running around in the same room (I'm allergic). Sorry, I can't do that again...even if you are gorgeous. Lol.
*A guy who is a deadbeat father to his child(ren) from a previous relationship.
*A guy who thinks it's okay to have his best friend(s) tag along with us almost every time. That is not okay. We HAVE to have some nights where it's just the two of us.
*A guy who doesn't wash his hands after peeing. He just pees, flushes the toilet, and immediately walks out of the bathroom. Gross, dude.
*A guy who is a deadbeat father to his child(ren) from a previous relationship.
*A guy who thinks it's okay to have his best friend(s) tag along with us almost every time. That is not okay. We HAVE to have some nights where it's just the two of us.
*A guy who doesn't wash his hands after peeing. He just pees, flushes the toilet, and immediately walks out of the bathroom. Gross, dude.
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Being a dude.
okay also....
Rudeness to anyone, including animals. My kitties also expect proper
etiquette
Smelling icky or poor hygiene
A dirty home
Still living with parents
If they are white not understanding they are coming from a privileged place
Not taking me seriously
okay also....
Rudeness to anyone, including animals. My kitties also expect proper
etiquette
Smelling icky or poor hygiene
A dirty home
Still living with parents
If they are white not understanding they are coming from a privileged place
Not taking me seriously
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Oooh, asshole bait! I'll bite 
- your favorite show is The Big Bang Theory because you "actually get all of the jokes while normal people probably think it's boring because they can't understand it"
- you can't argue for sport/don't understand the concept of playing devil's advocate to enhance an otherwise inane discussion
- you think feminism is a dirty word and would never self-identify as a feminist (sooo many things fall under this umbrella)
- you watch Fox News intentionally, like...to get news
- you don't vote but constantly bitch about the "state of our society"
- you demand my passwords to everything so you can keep tabs on me
- you talk down to anyone you perceive as being less moneyed or educated than you. Go fuck yourself, cause I sure as hell won't.
- you only want to eat at chain restaurants when we travel
- you prefer cruises to more adventurous, explorative travel (you will never get me on a diarrhea boat, fuck that noise. If we're going to Costa Rica or Crete I want to wander around there for a few days, not drink frozen margaritas on a ship)
- you refer to areas of a city that aren't lily-white as "the bad part of town"
- you're deeply religious. We will fundamentally disagree on so many things that you should just pick another brunette, dawg. There are millions of us and surely one of them will "get you" better than I will when discussing death, politics, civil rights, and anything else affected by your belief system
- you brag about things like: not owning a TV (I love TV, it's safer than most opiates), your crossfit workouts (no one cares no one cares no one carrrrres), how much you spent on your car/bike, your superior diet (wowww no sugar paleo-vegan, you say? Here is your award! Just carry it around to announce your awesomeness)
- the last book you read was required for school
Who wants to get drinks?!
- your favorite show is The Big Bang Theory because you "actually get all of the jokes while normal people probably think it's boring because they can't understand it"
- you can't argue for sport/don't understand the concept of playing devil's advocate to enhance an otherwise inane discussion
- you think feminism is a dirty word and would never self-identify as a feminist (sooo many things fall under this umbrella)
- you watch Fox News intentionally, like...to get news
- you don't vote but constantly bitch about the "state of our society"
- you demand my passwords to everything so you can keep tabs on me
- you talk down to anyone you perceive as being less moneyed or educated than you. Go fuck yourself, cause I sure as hell won't.
- you only want to eat at chain restaurants when we travel
- you prefer cruises to more adventurous, explorative travel (you will never get me on a diarrhea boat, fuck that noise. If we're going to Costa Rica or Crete I want to wander around there for a few days, not drink frozen margaritas on a ship)
- you refer to areas of a city that aren't lily-white as "the bad part of town"
- you're deeply religious. We will fundamentally disagree on so many things that you should just pick another brunette, dawg. There are millions of us and surely one of them will "get you" better than I will when discussing death, politics, civil rights, and anything else affected by your belief system
- you brag about things like: not owning a TV (I love TV, it's safer than most opiates), your crossfit workouts (no one cares no one cares no one carrrrres), how much you spent on your car/bike, your superior diet (wowww no sugar paleo-vegan, you say? Here is your award! Just carry it around to announce your awesomeness)
- the last book you read was required for school
Who wants to get drinks?!
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