Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scenario?

[littlebitlost]

Hi,

New here, have just signed up as it seemed like the best place to ask/talk about this.

Just a warning that this might be a long & scattered (like my head ) first post.
If anyone takes the time to read it all & reply I really appreciate it...

Alright, first off, I'm a normal (yeah right!) 27yo Aussie guy, pretty new to watching & interacting with camgirls.
Was getting bored with porn so joined a site & bought a few tokens for some quick fun as a one off sort of thing.
Saw some dirties, had some fun, yada, yada...

Anyway, the second time I go on the site I notice a REALLY cute girl who has just joined & is on cam for the first time (with this site at least)
Go in her room, try & have a chat but she's not answering me or anyone else. Myself & others tip, make some requests & get nothing but a tiny smile & "thx" typed on the screen!
I left a bit pissed off but found myself there again the next day. This time got a "Hi" but not much else.
Long story short this girl sort of does what she wants... She's different to any other professional camgirl I've seen (found out she works in a studio)
People tip, she does nothing then she'll just randomly start doing shit. She's mainly clothed with an occasional flash or play but she's so damn adorable & by now, I suppose partly because of her unique, random nature, I'm intrigued.

After asking a few times over several days she PMs me & we start to chat.
Some sexy stuff, some normal stuff & she seems nice, easy to talk to (albeit broken English).
She's 24 so our ages are close. She watches me on cam, tells me I'm cute & whatnot.

For a few days her cam wasn't working properly, her room was basically empty & I was bored out of my brain so we spoke heaps.
We've been talking for more than a month now & I think I'm actually starting to care for her a bit :icon-rolleyes: I know, what an idiot!
I've spent too much time getting to know her when I should have just been making requests!

Her shows are becoming dirtier & she responds to tips & requests now but I've noticed she will sometimes ignore people if we're in the middle of a conversation.

We were talking casually the other day when she started stripping & I actually found it a turn-off. Even surprised myself there!
She's freaking gorgeous but I've been raised to respect women (especially those I'm fond of) & it just didn't feel right... It wasn't as appealing to me as the expressions on her face when we talk.

I mentioned to her I'm actually here mainly for the chat now & won't be making requests & therefore not tipping a lot (I had been among her highest tippers a lot of nights). She said that's fine.
Last night we have a huge chat, I tell her no more tips, I don't want to treat her like the other members do. No problem she says.
She starts asking if I like her personality, etc... I know this is getting a bit deep but I can't stop talking! & I actually do like her personality (or what she shows me of it at least)

I end up asking if she's actually enjoying doing this, after an absolute idiot is finished hounding her.
She ignores the question, I push, she tells me not to ask but it's too late. I need to know now.
I tell her it's literally quite painful to watch a beautiful, smart, seemingly nice girl being disrespected (I'm sure you all know what some members are like) for what is, in reality, a relatively small amount of money & that in my opinion she deserves better.
She tells me she knows that, she hates her job, despises most of these people but needs money & this is the only work she can find.
Goes offline for 5 mins then comes back looking like she's been crying. I know I've upset her so I apologise, we chat a little more until she calms down & I leave.

Now I'm wondering is she for real? or does she maybe think this is what I want?
A quick Google search showed girls talking about "white knights" who try to "rescue" camgirls & there are girls who go along with it to keep them happy.
Is that what she's seeing me as? Or is she seriously unhappy?

As a bit of background she says she's in NYC studying, about to finish her degree then begin looking for other job.
I trust her but I don't at the same time. This business is based on telling people what they want to hear of course...
One niggle in my mind is that she doesn't ask a whole lot about me.

There has been no mention of me sending her money or anything (which I've heard of)

& by the way I'm sure I sound like some desperate loser (shit, maybe I am... ) but in reality I'm just a nice guy who got bored of porn, jumped on a cam site, found someone nice to talk to & is now too interested for his own good.
I'm single (obviously), work with only guys (mechanic) don't drink & have a bad back injury so don't get out a lot to meet girls.
Is she just taking advantage of me or what?

I have no delusion of meeting her (although I would obviously love to) but just can't stay away from this fucking site!

Any advice or opinions would be great!

BTW, tonight is the first weekday in maybe 5 weeks that she hasn't been online.

 

[AerynShade]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Last night we have a huge chat, I tell her no more tips, I don't want to treat her like the other members do.

So instead of helping her make a living wage you're just going to take up all her time and not tip her for being adorable and awesome?

I end up asking if she's actually enjoying doing this, after an absolute idiot is finished hounding her.
She ignores the question, I push, she tells me not to ask but it's too late. I need to know now.
I tell her it's literally quite painful to watch a beautiful, smart, seemingly nice girl being disrespected (I'm sure you all know what some members are like) for what is, in reality, a relatively small amount of money & that in my opinion she deserves better.
She tells me she knows that, she hates her job, despises most of these people but needs money & this is the only work she can find.

You have no idea how hard it is to deal with slow nights and jack-ass members without another member pointing out how shitty you are doing. Dude, stop it. She hates it because people like you aren't tipping!

Any advice or opinions would be great!

TIP HER

 

[littlebitlost]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Last night we have a huge chat, I tell her no more tips, I don't want to treat her like the other members do.

So instead of helping her make a living wage you're just going to take up all her time and not tip her for being adorable and awesome?

Thanks for your reply, as angry as it may be... :-x I'd told her right from the start what I've said here. Even offered to leave so she could talk to customers...
She told me to stay. Being quiet & bored may have been part of it?

& I did actually tip her when I left (despite having said I wouldn't) telling her not to strip or do anything for the tip, just to take it.
Maybe she expected that?

I end up asking if she's actually enjoying doing this, after an absolute idiot is finished hounding her.
She ignores the question, I push, she tells me not to ask but it's too late. I need to know now.
I tell her it's literally quite painful to watch a beautiful, smart, seemingly nice girl being disrespected (I'm sure you all know what some members are like) for what is, in reality, a relatively small amount of money & that in my opinion she deserves better.
She tells me she knows that, she hates her job, despises most of these people but needs money & this is the only work she can find.

You have no idea how hard it is to deal with slow nights and jack-ass members without another member pointing out how shitty you are doing. Dude, stop it. She hates it because people like you aren't tipping!

Any advice or opinions would be great!

TIP HER

 

[LioraVox]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

So I started reading some of this post but mentally flipped the table once you said that you decided to stop tipping her, and that you told her so. She probably said that's fine because tips are in fact generous actions from members, and that she could really enjoy your company. But in my opinion what you are doing is a dick move.

You join a cam site..where you tip to get the things you like. Yes you build friendships a long the way but the fact that you met via cam site doesn't go away. You are basically pulling away her attention from paying people - that also could view her as a beautiful person- to focus on you and your "we've grown close so I'm not going to help you succeed at your job" mentality. It's fucked up. Tip the girl for her services. She's giving you loads of attention and the way you can repay her is to tip. It helps her job the be that more enjoyable.

Also if you don't think camgirls deserve some type of respect whether you are fond of them or not, don't go on cam sites. Because we, as camgirls and amazing woman don't need your twisted way of thinking.

I also finished reading your post before typing this out and. All that up there is my advice to you.

 

[littlebitlost]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

So I started reading some of this post but mentally flipped the table once you said that you decided to stop tipping her, and that you told her so. She probably said that's fine because tips are in fact generous actions from members, and that she could really enjoy your company. But in my opinion what you are doing is a dick move.

That's a fair statement & I can definitely see where you're coming from...

You join a cam site..where you tip to get the things you like. Yes you build friendships a long the way but the fact that you met via cam site doesn't go away. You are basically pulling away her attention from paying people - that also could view her as a beautiful person- to focus on you and your "we've grown close so I'm not going to help you succeed at your job" mentality. It's fucked up. Tip the girl for her services. She's giving you loads of attention and the way you can repay her is to tip. It helps her job the be that more enjoyable.

As I've said I don't stop her from talking to others. I'll tell her to go & talk to someone who has just tipped instead of talking to me or sometimes I'll say goodbye & leave the room if she's having a busy night. Being relatively new & pretty much a fully-clothed model (with small flashes) her room isn't flat out like some are.
I try not to be a selfish person in any aspect so please don't assume I am demanding her attention.
But as above I can see what you're saying.

Also if you don't think camgirls deserve some type of respect whether you are fond of them or not, don't go on cam sites. Because we, as camgirls and amazing woman don't need your twisted way of thinking.

I never said other camgirls don't deserve respect. You/they all do.
I'm a respectful guy in general but there is a difference between respectfully asking a girl to perform for you & feeling disrespectful by asking her to do so. Or is that just me?

I also finished reading your post before typing this out and. All that up there is my advice to you.

Thanks

 

[Nordling]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

The point is, whether you are polite to her or not isn't the issue. A model's biggest commodity is her time, and whether you think you're taking her time or not, you are...simply by not paying her.

Tip her.

 

[LioraVox]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Announcing that you are leaving / suggesting to leave when her room becomes more risqué is kinda of passive aggressive, and very much uncesccrsary. If it's not your thing that's cool and no big deal. Tell her you were just stopping by and for her to have a good night. Then be on your merry way. Or if you want to stay in her room just idk be quiet and chill out.

If you feel disrespectful by asking someone to do their job, you shouldn't go into that business establishment.

 

[littlebitlost]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Announcing that you are leaving / suggesting to leave when her room becomes more risqué is kinda of passive aggressive, and very much uncesccrsary. If it's not your thing that's cool and no big deal. Tell her you were just stopping by and for her to have a good night. Then be on your merry way. Or if you want to stay in her room just idk be quiet and chill out.

Passive-aggressive? Really?
I have offered to leave before as mentioned, other times I basically either stay logged into her room while I go make a coffee or I say goodbye & leave for the night.
Don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong but obviously you feel different...
But hey, opinions are why I came here.

If you feel disrespectful by asking someone to do their job, you shouldn't go into that business establishment.

The thing is I didn't. This is something that's gradually happened while getting to know her.

Basically why I asked her if she enjoyed the job...
If I knew she was happy with herself & what she was doing I would probably be fine making requests.
But knowing that she's doing it because she has to makes it ugly to me.

I suppose even the "no tipping" conversation was the same in my mind without me really thinking too much about it.
I wanted her to be able to be honest with me without having to "act" for me.
If I'm not tipping anyway (or said I wouldn't anyway) then there is no pressure for her to tell me what she thinks I want to hear...
Does any of that make sense?

Also, Nordling, thank you. Noted

 

[Nordling]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

You don't have to ask her to do things if it makes you feel bad...but if you take her time, you should still tip her. Talking to you is doing something, and it's while she's at work. She's providing you with conversation, which obviously you found valuable, so why not tip her?

 

[Fay_Galore]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Here's what I think happened, you signed up for a camsite, not really expecting much besides getting off, you found a girl you actually like to your own surprise, you hang out with her, form a bond and theeeen, when she takes her clothes off you get awkward because it doesn't fit the idea of the romantic steps falling in love has. especially not since she's doing it for other members too!
I understand you want her to see you different from all the other members, but sweetheart, this is her job. I'm not saying she doesn't like you, but most and foremost, MFC and (I'm sorry) guys like you, are her income. I think most model have members they are genuinely considering their friends and care for, but at the end of the day, tokens need to be made.

Pressuring her into saying she doesn't really like camming to the point she breaks down seems very egocentric of you, no one's going to tip her if she's logging off crying. (nothing white knight about that mister)

I also think part of this is projection, yóu don't want her to like taking her clothes off because it's making yóu uncomfortable. She's new and she might not have the guts or the luxury to tell her highest tipper otherwise.


So, if you really care for her and want to help her out, the way to do it is tip her ánd be a positive presence in her room. Don't hog her attention in PM, don't bring her down, crack a joke now and then.
If you want her just for you, discuss serious parts of life, take her private!


edit; this came off rather harsh, I hope you don't take too much offence, you seem like a normal, friendly guy and that's extra more reasons why I just really thought you needed to hear this.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Any advice or opinions would be great!

Sounds like a lot of drama and weirdness, maybe try looking for a different model to entertain you.

 

[BarbieLuv]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

It doesn't matter if she enjoys her job or not, I'm not sure why you would even ask her that or think it's a big deal. It's a job, they are by definition not supposed to be fun all of the time... Do you go skipping into work every morning looking forward to dealing with people, co-workers, and the daily grind? Especially since she's a studio model, she probably has a guy watching over her shoulder all the time making sure she's doing her job right. Up to and including being nice to every troll that comes in, I'll bet; they are potential paying customers, after all! For all you know, it might not even be her typing back and forth to you, a lot of Eastern European studios have someone behind the screen with a keyboard who are talking for the model. You could have been having a deep emotional conversation with Igor for all you know.

I really think you should put her on ignore and go hang out with some other camgirl/s. This isn't worth your time or energy to even give two thoughts to, and if you're not tipping her anymore then you're not bringing any value to her life. She's a studio model that is there to make money, not to make friends. Some studios even have a quota that girls have to hit to get their earnings, and you could just be bringing her under that by suddenly not tipping and thus completely fucking her over. But there are tons of awesome camgirls who ARE there to make friends, fap, have fun, and enjoy themselves that you could frequent, so why not go give them a whirl?

 

[mynameisbob84]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

To paraphrase Bunk from the Wire (y'all need to watch the Wire if you haven't already. Best show ever, yo), "There you go again, giving a fuck when it wasn't your turn to give a fuck".

Being a member is easy. You log on, talk to interesting women in various states of undress, jerk off if you want to, tip accordingly, say your goodbyes, and go about your day. It's not your job to "save" the models. If you come to care about the models as more than mere performers (which is easily done) then feel free to let them know that you care about them as people and don't mind lending a helping hand to them. They'll probably appreciate it and in the unlikely event that their real-world friends/family/fellow cam girls/other members can't help them, maybe one day they'll actually ask you for help in a way that goes past just tipping them. Then and only then is it your turn to give a fuck (though if they ask you to send them large sums of money, that's your cue to put them on ignore and never go back).

 

[Picnic]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

She's freaking gorgeous but I've been raised to respect women (especially those I'm fond of)...

Unless they get naked or sexual, apparently?

Honestly, dude. What on earth are you doing on a cam site?

Whether or not she likes her job - is it really any of your business? Sounds like you're going to stop tipping her anyway - so, what does it matter?

 

[LilyEvans]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

It doesn't matter if she enjoys her job or not, I'm not sure why you would even ask her that or think it's a big deal. It's a job, they are by definition not supposed to be fun all of the time... Do you go skipping into work every morning looking forward to dealing with people, co-workers, and the daily grind?

This.

"I was going to tip my favorite waitress but then I found out she hates her job and is only doing it to pay the bills! So now I just sit in her section and distract her while she has other people to deal with. Poor waitress, having to deal with all those paying customers! I wish I could help her somehow..."

See? It doesn't make sense in that scenario, either.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

It doesn't matter if she enjoys her job or not, I'm not sure why you would even ask her that or think it's a big deal. It's a job, they are by definition not supposed to be fun all of the time... Do you go skipping into work every morning looking forward to dealing with people, co-workers, and the daily grind?

This.

"I was going to tip my favorite waitress but then I found out she hates her job and is only doing it to pay the bills! So now I just sit in her section and distract her while she has other people to deal with. Poor waitress, having to deal with all those paying customers! I wish I could help her somehow..."

See? It doesn't make sense in that scenario, either.

Stealing this quote for future reference!! I love it!

I just started camming two months ago and I could see some of my guys feeling the way it sounds like you do. I gave people I enjoyed talking to or tipped me at all a lot of attention at first. Slowly but surely I realized that camming wasn't about getting paid to see tits. It's a lot more about getting paid to entertain and you would be surprised how often that entertainment comes in the form of conversation. I've been called some awful things, I've dealt with trolls and I still remember someone who popped in my room and talked to me about how they just commited a sex crime that I don't feel is appropriate to even type out here. But nothing, absolutely nothing gets to me as much as guys who just want to get to know me and carry on long conversations in pm but don't tip. Small talk is great, deep talk that other people can get in on in public chat is also great. Messages require her attention and that takes away from her room. Her room is where the tipping customers are. So you are hurting her, plain and simple. When you are new it is so, so hard to realize and even once you do it is incredibly difficult to carry out.

All that being said, if you get uncomfortable in someone's room because you don't like what they are doing. Get offline or go to another room. Seriously. There are countless ways to meet people out there and if that is what you are looking for, even if it isn't what you were looking for at first, then you need to be in one of those places. A camsite isn't a place to get to really know a lady, certainly not after spending such a short amount of time with her.

 

[CoraBorealis]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

deleted, I was a bit rude & took more offense than I should have. These other ladies have offered great advice.

 

[TacoBelle]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

I think you've started to consider this model a friend, and you want what's best for her. Even if you don't know the real her (you've stated similar), you still feel connected to her. This is understandable. You can be friends with someone, but you don't have to like every single thing about them. You've stated that you don't feel comfortable when she starts doing dirty things. This is fine. I have some regulars who watch other models because they love their minds, but feel a bit weird when they get naked/masturbate. So they simply say, "Be back in a while! Have fun!" or just leave. That is how you should approach the situation. Don't make her feel awkward for turning you away by doing her job. Hell, don't even let her know that it bothers you (unless SHE asks YOU). Just leave, watch another model/browse the internet/read a book/etc. Do anything else so that you're not stewing on the fact that she is doing whatever.

Also, I see what you mean about not wanting to tip her because you don't want to "treat her like the other members do." I get that. You want her to know that you like her for HER and not her tits and ass. However, with you NOT tipping, that means that she'll have to get naked/masturbate for even longer/extra days to make up for the needed income. I really liked Lily's example of the waitress, but I'll expand upon it. Your friend is a waitress. You like visiting her at work, but don't want to force her to "work" for you. So you don't order any food. You don't even order a coffee. You just bring a pad of paper and a pencil. Now, the whole time your friend is working, you are drawing little pictures, writing notes, scribbles, etc. And then you paper airplane them to her. Not only is she going to get distracted every time one WHACKS into the side of her head, but the table she was just waiting on is having to wait for her to finish reading it, replying, and airplane-ing it back to you. More than likely, she's not going to get much of a tip from them. Plus, you just sitting there, taking up a perfectly good table is one less table/tip that she could be serving.

You like her? That's great. Tip her for her personality. Tip her when she makes you laugh. If she makes you snort, tip her double! However, if you are already this invested in her at one month, I worry for you in 6 months. Where is this going? Will you fall in love with her? Will you want to marry her, and then force her to quit camming? Step back and realize that this is her job. She is paid to make people happy. I strongly advise against falling for camgirls, because there is a .05% chance that it could ever happen or work out. You are already dissatisfied with her choices. Maybe you should just stop visiting for a few weeks. This can clear your head and help you see how she treats other tippers who take your place (when you come back).

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

It's basically all been said, but I kinda need to blow off steam after reading that. I carefully read and it commented on the parts that I felt needed it.

I suppose partly because of her unique, random nature, I'm intrigued.

This was different than porn. She's different and random not a professionally shot porn that you can simply search for. Also you said you were bored with porn...so wasn't that what you wanted?

her room was basically empty & I was bored out of my brain so we spoke heaps.
We've been talking for more than a month now & I think I'm actually starting to care for her a bit :icon-rolleyes: I know, what an idiot! I've spent too much time getting to know her when I should have just been making requests!
Her shows are becoming dirtier & she responds to tips & requests now but I've noticed she will sometimes ignore people if we're in the middle of a conversation. I've spent too much time getting to know her when I should have just been making requests!

Only idiotic if you don't tip her for appreciation of her. She took time out to pay attention to you, and you aren't even tipping a thank you to show how nice she was.

We were talking casually the other day when she started stripping & I actually found it a turn-off. Even surprised myself there!
She's freaking gorgeous but I've been raised to respect women (especially those I'm fond of) & it just didn't feel right... It wasn't as appealing to me as the expressions on her face when we talk.

I mentioned to her I'm actually here mainly for the chat now & won't be making requests & therefore not tipping a lot (I had been among her highest tippers a lot of nights). She said that's fine.
Last night we have a huge chat, I tell her no more tips, I don't want to treat her like the other members do. No problem she says.

I've had several members have the problem where they want to talk to me, but not watch the dirtier shows. That's fine they tip and we pm only. They don't have my cam on. We only chat. No biggie, and I don't feel like they're being rude. Just tell her you don't want your tips going towards her shows, and I'm sure she'll understand, but telling her what you did well that was just plain rude. Also please don't say I don't want to treat you like other members do/asking if she really enjoys doing it...dude, that just insults us. If we minded it we would quit, but that comment is so close to slut-shaming it's not even funny. It's up to her not you, and comments/questions like that only put the model in a bad mood thinking how the member must detest what we do, whether the woman loves her job or not. If that's her only job or not, especially if she works for a studio and has to stay full time on cam...don't...just don't man...you even said she started crying. There is nothing wrong with being a sex worker, and she may hate the job, she may hate being told by people like you "she's better than this", but seriously do you even know what goes into camming?! At least she has a studio to help her (though the cut may not be worth it). Though this is a very stressful job at times it's also extremely rewarding. We meet new people. We run our own business. The boost of self-confidence I've had since I started camming is phenominal. We get to learn about ourselves and how to interact with other people on a much deeper level than we normally would. Heck, I have huge social anxiety off cam, but on cam pff! I don't know what she's struggling with specifically about camming, but don't ever tell someone they should be doing something better.

BTW, tonight is the first weekday in maybe 5 weeks that she hasn't been online.

Gee, maybe because she's a human being with a job and feelings and you not only said you would be possibly one of her only sources of income anymore, but you made her feel like sh*t...You not only quit tipping her, but may now have actually prevented her from wanting to log on. C'mon man!

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 08#p523808

Please see this thread for more on why you should tip her.

 

[JimsX]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

You think you are falling in love with her. The thing is, you are not. Or at least you should not. If she is working in a studio in Romania, Colombia, Kazakhstan, Korea, Philippines, Russia, or wherever, she does not want to be there. She very likely has no choice. She needs money and camming is relatively easy money (though way harder in a studio).

As a member, I think it is perfectly acceptable to tell a girl you usually tip about a situation which may temporarily affect that (loss of job or whatever). Tell her once and drop it. It is not cool, however, to tell her you won't be tipping her because you respect her or you don't like the fact that she is doing this job. Or that you know she is not happy doing this job. You know what you are doing then? You are judging her. You are saying to her that she is a prostitute selling her body for cash. You are saying that this is a terrible job, not worthy of your tips. And that my friend is a dick move. You are making her feel even worse about a job she already does not want to do.

If you do not want to watch her get naked and fuck herself, tip her and turn away from the screen or alt-tab (I disagree with leaving her room at this time; it again says what she does for work is filthy). Stay in the room but do something else. Only if she tells you she values you beyond your tokens and asks you to hang around, but you do not have to tip, should you stop tipping. Even in this case I still tip a model who told me not to. I suggest you do that as well.

Working in a studio is hard. She gets 25% of what you tip, if she is lucky. She will say what she has to say to get money. Not saying she is a horrible person, but sometimes people do things they would not normally do. Back off with your white knight attitude, because you are opening yourself to being scammed. I have been scammed myself when I let a model know too much that I cared for her. She saw an easy mark. Be careful.

To sum up, stop your holier-than-thou talking to her. Tip her when you can. Stop the passive-aggressive "I'm leaving because you are too busy" nonsense. If you cannot handle seeing her naked for other guys, find another model.

 

[RainyDayGuy]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

if you're not tipping her anymore then you're not bringing any value to her life.

That seems just a bit harsh. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking models saw members as anything other than ATMs? Based on the responses in this thread, appears I was.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

if you're not tipping her anymore then you're not bringing any value to her life.

That seems just a bit harsh. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking models saw members as anything other than ATMs? Based on the responses in this thread, appears I was.

I understand what you mean, but also keep in mind to us we are running a business (that is normally more hours of work off cam than on and often more than 8hrs a day unlike a normal job, especially unlike a normal job with guaranteed money per hour), and being told that someone wants our time but not to pay for our service is more than inconsiderate. Though yes, it could've been put better in other posts. Personally I think he needs a psychiatrist, but they'd charge a ton more than a camgirl to just be talked at...

 

[BarbieLuv]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

if you're not tipping her anymore then you're not bringing any value to her life.

That seems just a bit harsh. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking models saw members as anything other than ATMs? Based on the responses in this thread, appears I was.

If you go back and re-read that cherry-picked quote in context, you'll see that I was specifically referring to the fact that she is a model who belongs to a studio/cams from a studio location. Those models have different focuses/pressures and are a lot more likely to see members as just paying customers (and not friends) than those of us who are 'independent'; namely she most likely has a set amount she MUST make per day, and has a studio manager breathing down her neck making sure she's hustling properly. So any guy trying to get friendly and specifically saying he's NOT going to tip anymore isn't doing her any favors/might actually get her into trouble.

I wasn't stating my opinion or personal viewpoint on members, just putting her (highly probable) perspective as a studio model into context for the OP. :handgestures-salute:

 

[JickyJuly]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

A white knight would be trying to save her with tokens and daydreaming a bit. Since you're just sitting there judging her, tucking your dick away because you realized she's human, you're more of a sanctimonious, self righteous douchebag.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

A white knight would be trying to save her with tokens and daydreaming a bit. Since you're just sitting there judging her, tucking your dick away because you realized she's human, you're more of a sanctimonious, self righteous douchebag.

Yikes. I think I just fell in love with you. :-D

 

[AmberCutie]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Is she legit?
Yes. Lots of cam girls work in/for a studio and behave like she does.

Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scenario?
I think you're doing a bit of a "white knight" scenario, but not in the helpful kind of way. You're a white knight in a distracting and demotivating way.

Helpful would be tipping frequently for all the time she's giving you. Distracting and demotivating is when you take a ton of her time then tell her you don't want to tip anymore, and don't like what she does on cam when not talking to you.

Cam sites are going to be difficult for you, OP, since you seemed to fall in love with the first girl you came across and quickly started treating her in a wrong way. If you want to make cam site membership work for you, spend some time reading public threads here at ACF and learn the DOs and DON'Ts, the likes and dislikes of both models and other members, and maybe you'll heed some advice going forward with your interactions on the cam site.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Has anyone suggested that the OP start tipping the model? If not...

TIP THE MODEL!!!!

:thumbleft:

 

[Myriads]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

I see this member getting caught between his personal morality, and a technology that provided a surprise.

Cam's are like no other form of adult service media that has been about before. While they contain elements of many forms (Hardcopy porn, strip clubs, peep shows) they also have the possibility to include elements of true connectivity, and intimacy. Factors that are building blocks in forming relationships, and perhaps more importantly seeing an individual as a fully realized human.

The OP said he wandered onto MFC out of boredom with his usual sources of porn, and was seeking something novel or different. So it's safe to assume that he came to the site with a preconception about what he'd find here. Women, who would be sexual objects that he could project upon for his own sexual needs and desires. Much as he'd encountered in his previous hardcopy porn. Or unflatteringly, objects to mentally manipulate towards producing a moist spasm.

But the cam's surprised him They provided more connectivity then he'd seen in any form of porn he'd experienced before. And in that connectivity, he came to like, and have a level of feelings toward one of the women he'd found here.

And that is where the trouble starts. He started viewing her psychologically as an object. A tool for his sexual desires. And thusly, she was classed as just that. And a set of rules that he has, for how one deals with such an object were at play. As he said "Saw some dirties, had some fun, yada, yada…" His morality of interaction was based on how he classed the object.

But she became a person. And in becoming that, she left the class of 'object' and became real. And thus she became subject to his moral code for how one treats a "woman". And it didn't match his current behavior.

Mental friction.

So he altered his behavior, to remove that friction from his thinking. And in doing so altered his fundamental orientation to the interaction he'd been having. Before he was paying for her time (and attention) and it was transactional, even if neither party saw it as thus. After, he was pursuing a INTERACTIVE transaction, which is based on wanting to trade time for communication, and thus a relationship building model.

But the interactions were still taking place in a context of a 'workplace' built for commerce. So he was looking for her time and attention when she needfully has to place it on her job.

So he's hurting her on the financial level, by wanting her time and attention at an inappropriate time.

If he wants to be friends with her, then be friends by all means. Talk like friends do. When neither is at work. Use e-mail, or Skype, or any other chat system to communicate when the workday is done for her. But let her work when she is working. It's unfair to ask or expect her 'friendship' attention when she is on the clock. UNLESS YOU PAY FOR IT.

Separating a model from her work-self is a must if you are building a friendship, which may very well be desired from her. Sure, be in the room, be chatty and friendly, but don't be butt-hurt if she can't answer your PM's or room text. She's working. Tip her because you enjoy being able to see her make her living on cam and want to support that, but not because you are her 'friend'.

And most importantly, be aware that in the new interactive adult mediums, the 'objects' are not so passive as the centerfolds of old, and can reach out and grab bits of your mind and heart by surprise.

It's not your fathers adult service world.

Myriads

 

[JoleneBrody]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

if you're not tipping her anymore then you're not bringing any value to her life.

That seems just a bit harsh. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking models saw members as anything other than ATMs? Based on the responses in this thread, appears I was.

The core of friendship is mutual respect. Friendship can be built on MFC but respect is the kickoff, and on MFC that means respecting her business in which you are visiting (tipping)

I consider my SLF'ers my friends for sure, but we were able to build that friendship because they showed me they valued me and respected my time first, and vice versa. Like the regulars at a coffee shop, they still pay for their coffee but I'm also really glad they sit at the counter for hours and socialize.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Re: Is she legit? Or doing her bit in a "white knight" scena

Littlebitlost you are new to camming... a big no no is taking a models time and not paying for it or contributing in some way.
Some of this will involve spending a little. It is simply expected in a member.

There would be few models who could claim to be completely 'legit' in my opinion, they all have their ways to seduce their members. Every model needs member support, if you are playing the game, support those you like most.

You seem to like this model, there are some topics here on what makes a great member, and these will give you some advice on how to support her best. In general ensure that when you take pleasure in her (even just that pretty face), that you pay for your part in keeping her on cam.

Have fun with it too, you want to leave her smiling, it is your free time and money after all.