Is not having a car a dating deal breaker?

[Guy]

A show on VH1 said not having a car is a dating deal breaker. Is that true?

 

[sweetiebatman]

It makes life (and therefore dating) that much easier thats for sure

Also not having your own transport certainly limits your options, again not just in dating but in life in general

 

[Ann_Sulu]

After high school of course lol...I dated two guys, and one woman who didn't drive. Depending on where you live though, it can make things difficult for dating. Thankfully, it was a city with good public transport. Unfortunately (at least in the US) that's not often common, even in some cities that are insanely spread out.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

All depends on location. Wish to god I lived somewhere that a car wasn't necessary.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I never learnt to drive. I'm never getting laid again.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I'm positive it is for some and am assuming some don't care. You kinda need a car or two if you are an adult male in my opinion. You don't want to be hanging out the passenger side of your best friends ride ya know. And like, would you really want your girlfriend or any dates taking a bus or having to walk everywhere? Eww, fuck no.

 

[LydiaFrost]

i think it heavily depends on where you live, i don't have my driving license ( but i think i want to get it in the next couple of years because i hate using public transportation with my dogs).
but i live in a city / area with good public transportation and you don't really need a car here. sometimes it is even easier to use public transportation to spare you the hazzle of finding a place to park your car and trafficjams.
in the countryside in some areas here it sucks to not have a car, because you will basically be stuck at home lol.
so for me it is not a dealbreaker in my current living situation

 

[JickyJuly]

I think it depends on the reason you don't drive. If a dude doesn't drive because he is not interested in taking necessary steps to be active in the world, deal breaker. If someone lets lack of car also mean lack of job, deal breaker. If you live someplace that driving is unnecessary or you've had driving trauma, not a deal breaker.

I'm a terrible driver. On my first date with my husband, I side swiped a parked car then proceeded to drive over every curb in Flint trying to get to Halo Burger. Other than that time, I've driven once with him in the passenger seat. Hehehe. So, if you're a bad enough driver, no one will ask you to drive anyway is my takeaway.

 

[gingerhobbit]

Ditto what @JickyJuly said.

If a guy doesn't have a car because he chooses not to for reasons, no problem. But if you're older than college age and don't have a car because you can't afford it, had your license taken away, etc. then yeah, you're probably not gonna look too good to potential dates.

 

[ramblin]

Many of my adult friends in New York City have never learned to drive, as there's simply no practical reason for it. In several other cities I know a lot of folks that may have car sharing memberships, but otherwise bike and take public transit. Almost all of them can drive, they just don't need a car of their own. If you live somewhere that not having a car means the person you're dating has to drive for every date, that could be a challenge, but one I'd hope some folks would see past if there was a real (e.g. medical) reason.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Definitely depends on where you live.
If you live in downtown Portland, you really don't need to drive. If something is not within walking distance, the chance the person you're going out with also doesn't drive is pretty high, so taking the train or bus real quick is just what people do to get places.

I would imagine New York is very similar.

 

[gingerhobbit]

If you live in downtown Portland, you really don't need to drive.

I would not walk anywhere in Portland. All those damn Blutbads. Shiver.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Googles... still confused.

 

[gingerhobbit]

Googles... still confused.

Grimm, a supernatural TV show set in Portland. People are always getting eaten by Blutbads, sort of werewolf-y things.

 

[JoleneBrody]

ohhhhh. ok

 

[Snowie1969]

Still, even in a big city with excellent public transport, owning a car or not can and usually will still be a dealbreaker. Especially if that car is a bit more exclusive and all... that is why Ferraris are golddigger magnets..

 

[justjoinedtopost]

A Ferrari is not a car, it is an aphrodisiac. Even the blind pop wood when they hear one wound out.

 

[JickyJuly]

Men in tiny, foreign sports cars turn me off personally. I can see girls driving them and dig it, but... those cars just seem so prissy.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Lol similar to @JickyJuly I'm that way honestly about any guy who's way too into his vehicle. Whether it's expensive in general or a loud, massive, diesel pick-up, all I can think is how they must be trying to compensate for something.

 

[SaffronBurke]

My late husband never drove because you're not legally allowed to operate a vehicle if you have had a seizure in the last 12 months, and even on medication, he had them every 3-6 months on average. I have a learner's permit and can drive if I absolutely need to, but, due to being somewhere on the autism spectrum (undiagnosed, but definitely somewhere in there), I have trouble filtering out external stimuli enough to actually drive in heavy traffic, and have failed numerous attempts at getting my license because of this.

It really didn't stop us any. We were able to take the bus to work, and take the bus, walk, or get a cab to go out, depending on where we were going. We also would frequently go places as a group with friends who did drive.

 

[Guy]

My late husband never drove because you're not legally allowed to operate a vehicle if you have had a seizure in the last 12 months, and even on medication, he had them every 3-6 months on average. I have a learner's permit and can drive if I absolutely need to, but, due to being somewhere on the autism spectrum (undiagnosed, but definitely somewhere in there), I have trouble filtering out external stimuli enough to actually drive in heavy traffic, and have failed numerous attempts at getting my license because of this.

It really didn't stop us any. We were able to take the bus to work, and take the bus, walk, or get a cab to go out, depending on where we were going. We also would frequently go places as a group with friends who did drive.

I cant drive because of my aspergers

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

I think it's different for women but I don't drive and don't ever intend to. I don't live in a big city with public transportation but I eventually want to move to one. It's really not that big of a deal to me but it does make dating and even getting out more difficult. I know that my not driving would be a deal breaker for some people but considering my reasons for not driving (Aspergers/anxiety) I really wouldn't want to be with anyone who wasn't supportive of that.

I guess I think a man not driving would be a deal breaker for a lot of people but they wouldn't be the kind of people who would suit that man anyway.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I'm a terrible driver. On my first date with my husband, I side swiped a parked car then proceeded to drive over every curb in Flint trying to get to Halo Burger. Other than that time, I've driven once with him in the passenger seat. Hehehe. So, if you're a bad enough driver, no one will ask you to drive anyway is my takeaway.

Yo that ain't even that bad by Flint standards.

Random but I know a few women that refuse to drive on the highway. Great drivers, no problems around the city. Won't take the highway. No problems being in a car with others driving on a highway, just won't do it alone.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

all I can think is how they must be trying to compensate for something.

Not always compensating. It is possible for a man to form a very real emotional bond with a machine--if she does something for him. Like when she pushes his ass back in the seat when accelerating. Or when he looks down at the speedometer on the interstate and realizes "OMG I'm doing 50 over the speed limit!" That shit feels good. It's a rush. Has not a damn thing to do with pleasing women.

I drove a sports car for several years. Never got tired of it. And even though it wasn't a high-end exotic, there was a definite uptick in female attention when I got it (admittedly the type of attention I like to turn my nose up at). One girl I had been crushing on for several months. She never even looked at me. But within a week of buying that car, she approached me with a flirty conversation about going for a ride in it. She didn't get her ride. And I lost all interest in taking her for a ride as well. Huge turnoff.

Yeah, if I could afford a Ferrari, that woman that got weak-kneed at the sight of it wouldn't get the time of day. But the first one to roll her eyes at it, I might chase her clear across a continent. lol. So I guess it goes both ways.

This reminds me. I need to go check my Powerball tickets.

 

[Snowie1969]

A Ferrari is not a car, it is an aphrodisiac. Even the blind pop wood when they hear one wound out.

I see your Ferrari 599 GTO and raise you a Mercedes SLS AMG GT3

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I see your Ferrari 599 GTO and raise you a Mercedes SLS AMG GT3

Well, I am partial to the Ferrari whine (my mother was a huge fan of Magnum P.I.), but I can get into that throatier sound as well. Nice. Very nice. (and damn at that cockpit) (and damn that bitch growls in the downshifts)

I expect presently someone will be along to trump us both with the McLaren P1 (maybe not the best sounding, but still).

 

[gingerhobbit]

Now this is a car...

 

[AerynShade]

Blegh, cars. Why do I care if someone has a car or can drive? Every dude I've dated with a nice car has been a super fucking asshole shitbag. As long as you can get where you need then rock on.

 

[AmberCutie]

Owning a car (and even moreso a house) is a symbol of self sufficiency and Success. Without that, you need to be a super awesome dude to be a catch.

I think the exceptions are to either still be a student living at home (young) or live in New York City (cars are less efficient than public transport.)

In the places I've lived, I'd likely never give a second date to a guy with no car. Unless he was absolutely illuminating personality wise.

 

[Guy]

Owning a car (and even moreso a house) is a symbol of self sufficiency and Success. Without that, you need to be a super awesome dude to be a catch.

I think the exceptions are to either still be a student living at home (young) or live in New York City (cars are less efficient than public transport.)

In the places I've lived, I'd likely never give a second date to a guy with no car. Unless he was absolutely illuminating personality wise.

Owning a car (and even moreso a house) is a symbol of self sufficiency and Success. Without that, you need to be a super awesome dude to be a catch.

I think the exceptions are to either still be a student living at home (young) or live in New York City (cars are less efficient than public transport.)

In the places I've lived, I'd likely never give a second date to a guy with no car. Unless he was absolutely illuminating personality wise.

I cant drive because of my aspergers