If you were given a chance to start over....

[KylieJacobs]

Part of me wishes I would have started a lot earlier, but the other part of me also knows that I probably wasn't ready for it years ago. I think I'm at the right mindset for it at this point in my life.

I've only been a cam girl for the last 2 months, but I love it so far! I have become more confident, especially with my body.

 

[AllisonWilder]

But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:

I think also this is a double edged sword for the ladies as well. While many guys get a false sense of control or whatever, the slippery slope of the camworld also potentially effects women's views. Being told xxx times a day how 'this or that' you are, [usually sexy, hot etc.], being proposed to xx times a day, being told how perfect you are, doing no wrong etc, skews the reality of ones own image. While the lady may be a 'queen' on line, when she walks down the street with regular folks, her "YLAM I'm special" may be in for a serious hit when guys don't idolize or fawn over them IRL. Its only human nature. :twocents-02cents:

I don't know how true this is, really. Two moderately successful years into camming and I'm still perfectly happy to just blend into the crowd and not be 'queen' in any way. If anything, if someone was to fawn over me or idolize me out in the real world, I'd probably just feel uncomfortable and strategize my exit.

 

[LadyLuna]

I wish I had gone to the college of my choice, instead of the one of my parent's choice. I might possibly have turned out to be the teacher I wanted to be if I had. (Half of why I didn't become a teacher the first try was issues with my parents not letting me grow up. Forcing that to happen sooner would've been better.) Only one good thing came out of the college I went to: the single friendship which has been kept to this day.

As for starting camming earlier, I wasn't far enough past my prudish self until a couple months before I started anyway, so while I wish I could've, I wouldn't have been able to handle it emotionally.

 

[Jessi]

But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:

I think also this is a double edged sword for the ladies as well. While many guys get a false sense of control or whatever, the slippery slope of the camworld also potentially effects women's views. Being told xxx times a day how 'this or that' you are, [usually sexy, hot etc.], being proposed to xx times a day, being told how perfect you are, doing no wrong etc, skews the reality of ones own image. While the lady may be a 'queen' on line, when she walks down the street with regular folks, her "YLAM I'm special" may be in for a serious hit when guys don't idolize or fawn over them IRL. Its only human nature. :twocents-02cents:

:? You're wrong if you think we're CONSTANTLY being told we're so perfect. For every compliment there's a handful of nasty trolls out there.

Also, speaking for myself only, I'm not stupid, I know most of the "oh bb ur so perfect most biutiful girl on here bb" "best ass on MFC" etc etc are shallow and they say that to every girl. They just say it for the sake of being said, its part of their masturbatory experience.

I know a LOT of camgirls from MFC and through ACF, and none of turned into egotistical jerks because a bunch of guys on the internet said they had gr8 titz. If you encounter a camgirl like that, Id guess she probably had that personality to begin with.

Again, only speaking for me, but I have horrible social anxiety and I hate being the centre of attention. MFC gave me an avenue to explore that in a controlled environment, which I am grateful for, but please, at least don't assume that *I* expect to be fawned over or treated like a princess.

 

[LilyMarie]

^ What she said.

I get compliments everytime I'm on cam. On Twitter, too. It kinda comes with the territory. I was a very successful submitter to gonewild on reddit. None of that matters. I still have a horrible self-image to the point where it gets annoying to other people. Some of my regs know this, and lots of the ladies in models only know this.
When someone looks at me in the street or at school, and I'm already in a bad mood, the only thing I can imagine them thinking is "woah, she's fugly". I can't leave the house without make-up on, can't upload any photos from my DSLR without editing them, and all that jazz. After a bad night on MFC I automatically think it's because of my looks and that I can never be successful.
My low self-esteem recently cost me one really important/awesome experience in the camming world.

Of course it's not as extreme with other ladies, but I know that lots have self-esteem issues, even after years of camming. Like Jessi said, if you have certain issues, then people on the internet giving you half-sincere or sincere compliments won't change them enough for you to actually say "It's gotten much better". Sometimes I think it has, but, yeah. Not really.


To answer the original question, too:
Yes, I would have become a camgirl on MFC (!) if I could start over. It completely changed my life. I would have started at 18 if I'd known then that MFC existed.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I would do it over. I'd start earlier and start on myfreecams. I've wasted my time on other sites before.

 

[LadyLuna]

For every 1 sincere compliment on camera, there are 3-100 generic compliments (depending on the day), and 10-20 trollish comments, as well as 2 trolls who actually hit the right button.

Those are MFC. Streamate isn't quite as bad... I think it's a 1:1:1 ratio for sincere compliment, generic compliment, and trollish comment, and once in a blue moon the trollish one will hit. Of course, most of the compliments happen in private and exclusive, and most of the trollish behavior is in public chat.

Honestly, I get more upset over the guys with the roleplays I'm not interested in who decide to start the roleplay without asking first, than I do from the insults. Also, compliments and insults aren't nearly as effective coming from random people as they are when they come from people you actually care about.

 

[Jessi]

I also wanted to add that I DO have some very sincere regulars in my chat, and I appreciate them very much. But their compliments are usually more along the lines of "your hair looks really nice today" or "your cam is so clear today, your skin looks perfect!" "you're so down to earth and you make me laugh".
Its pretty easy to tell the difference. Its a lot more rare and special, and no different than the kinds of things my friends or loved ones would say to me. Most people get compliments from their real life people and it doesnt turn them stuck up.

 

[SerenaMoon]

I would have started sooner, I was 19, but I would have had a much better experience in the house I lived at when I was 18, and probably would have been on a lot more. The only other thing I'd have done differently in my life, I would have been better with my health when I was younger.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:

I think also this is a double edged sword for the ladies as well. While many guys get a false sense of control or whatever, the slippery slope of the camworld also potentially effects women's views. Being told xxx times a day how 'this or that' you are, [usually sexy, hot etc.], being proposed to xx times a day, being told how perfect you are, doing no wrong etc, skews the reality of ones own image. While the lady may be a 'queen' on line, when she walks down the street with regular folks, her "YLAM I'm special" may be in for a serious hit when guys don't idolize or fawn over them IRL. Its only human nature. :twocents-02cents:

It's an interesting thought, though I've found it works the opposite way.

In real life men have always fawned over me. They've always come up to me in the street, stared openly at me, many times have felt the need to grab me inappropriately if I dress even slightly provocatively. I get a lot of comments in real life that resemble the worst basics, whether I'm in a shop buying food, in a library, on a train or in a bar, I've had men come up to me literally drooling. It is why most of the time if anyone saw me I never brush my hair, wear make up, and pretty much live in muddy yard clothes. If I go out dressed up I accept the attention I get, and sometimes even enjoy it, though it can be a pain in the arse, but it's because I've made myself look nice knowing the reaction it'll cause.

Hearing the basics/idiot premiums saying these comments meant I started to understand that side of them. Although it's been a pain I've had to deal with since I turned about 13/14 and grew massive tits, I've still never really understood the people giving the comments. When I started camming I got so many empty complements from dudes, dudes who weren't in my personal space threatening me, so I got the confidence to openly be really rude to them and tell them to fuck off, and I started to really be able to weed out the idiots pretending to be nice from the actually nice guys.
Camming also meant that I no longer enjoyed this kind of attention when in real life because I got it on cam. Before I was so used to the attention that I did love it a little bit, so long as it was when I'd dressed up and was expecting it, I still hated people trying it on with me in places like the gym, enough to stop me going to the gym.

Sometimes every now and then I think it'd be cool if real life were like the camroom, getting lots of attention, having everything in my control and such, but those thoughts are few and far between. For the most part I relish walking down my high street in my muddy wellies looking like shit, being completely invisible.
The only changes that camming has done for me have been good ones. I actually think my ego has gone down since camming also, because it really shows you just how shallow and pervy men are, and just how hard many men find it to form coherent sentences near a remotely hot woman, even on the internet when they have all the time in the world to work out exactly what they want to say.
I had a very high ego when I started camming, although I'm still totally confident, and in many ways am much more confident in myself, I have been brought down to earth.

 

[Just Me]

But the bigger problem I feel for many people is that they do not realize how much camsites, and porn in general desensitizes them to relationships with the other sex. Think about it, once you have seen the most beautiful girls in their full naked glory, it is going to cause unrealistic expectations to find someone that can surpass the models you find online. It also gives them a false sense of empowerment that they are able to control girls to do their beck and call (pvt shows). This line is blurred between the virtual and real world and people that cannot step away from it will suffer for it in their real lives. :twocents-02cents:

I think also this is a double edged sword for the ladies as well. While many guys get a false sense of control or whatever, the slippery slope of the camworld also potentially effects women's views. Being told xxx times a day how 'this or that' you are, [usually sexy, hot etc.], being proposed to xx times a day, being told how perfect you are, doing no wrong etc, skews the reality of ones own image. While the lady may be a 'queen' on line, when she walks down the street with regular folks, her "YLAM I'm special" may be in for a serious hit when guys don't idolize or fawn over them IRL. Its only human nature. :twocents-02cents:

It's an interesting thought, though I've found it works the opposite way.

In real life men have always fawned over me. They've always come up to me in the street, stared openly at me, many times have felt the need to grab me inappropriately if I dress even slightly provocatively. I get a lot of comments in real life that resemble the worst basics, whether I'm in a shop buying food, in a library, on a train or in a bar, I've had men come up to me literally drooling. It is why most of the time if anyone saw me I never brush my hair, wear make up, and pretty much live in muddy yard clothes. If I go out dressed up I accept the attention I get, and sometimes even enjoy it, though it can be a pain in the arse, but it's because I've made myself look nice knowing the reaction it'll cause.

Hearing the basics/idiot premiums saying these comments meant I started to understand that side of them. Although it's been a pain I've had to deal with since I turned about 13/14 and grew massive tits, I've still never really understood the people giving the comments. When I started camming I got so many empty complements from dudes, dudes who weren't in my personal space threatening me, so I got the confidence to openly be really rude to them and tell them to fuck off, and I started to really be able to weed out the idiots pretending to be nice from the actually nice guys.
Camming also meant that I no longer enjoyed this kind of attention when in real life because I got it on cam. Before I was so used to the attention that I did love it a little bit, so long as it was when I'd dressed up and was expecting it, I still hated people trying it on with me in places like the gym, enough to stop me going to the gym.

Sometimes every now and then I think it'd be cool if real life were like the camroom, getting lots of attention, having everything in my control and such, but those thoughts are few and far between. For the most part I relish walking down my high street in my muddy wellies looking like shit, being completely invisible.
The only changes that camming has done for me have been good ones. I actually think my ego has gone down since camming also, because it really shows you just how shallow and pervy men are, and just how hard many men find it to form coherent sentences near a remotely hot woman, even on the internet when they have all the time in the world to work out exactly what they want to say.
I had a very high ego when I started camming, although I'm still totally confident, and in many ways am much more confident in myself, I have been brought down to earth.

I think it is safe to say, that most of the members here are not the type to ogle, grope, stare, drool over or cat call women in public. For me, the thought is so alien that I have to remind myself that it does happen and fairly regularly judging by the stories. But, not all men are shallow and pervy and many can talk to women no matter how they look because they do not see women as objects.

I can understand how SoTxBob would feel that all the positive attention could affect some cam models negatively in real life. It makes sense, but I would not attribute it to all models, which I don't think he was doing. So, I am not surprised that some models will find it the opposite.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think it is safe to say, that most of the members here are not the type to ogle, grope, stare, drool over or cat call women in public. For me, the thought is so alien that I have to remind myself that it does happen and fairly regularly judging by the stories. But, not all men are shallow and pervy and many can talk to women no matter how they look because they do not see women as objects.

I don't think it's safe to say that. Remember that the members here, although generally being guys who like talking to women and for the most part do respect women, you are also all men who spend a lot of time on a site like myfreecams, which is for the most part a porn site dedicated to being able to oggle at and stare at hot women.
We also have had several occasions where members here, who usually talk to women in a respectable sense suddenly turn around and say the most dis-respectable sexist shit, sometimes when they're drunk and sometimes it's just a slip up. Therefore I do not think it is beyond members on here to do something stupid in real life after having a few drinks, or to obviously perve on women in real life.

And no, not all men are shallow, though most men, even the nicest of men are a bit pervy, and when they are perving, it is for shallow reasons. I think all humans are shallow and pervy at times, regardless of being a man or a woman, men are just usually less subtle, tend to do it more and women notice it more.

For the large part men who are really bad around women are either guys who are young and haven't yet learned any better, and the worst ones in my experience are older guys who don't go out very much when they get together as a group, they're out having a laugh, getting pissed, acting like they did in their 20s and they get carried away and seem to think they are 20, and that means it's cool to hit on and grope 20 year old girls. These men aren't really trying to sleep with you, they're just trying to enjoy the night, impress the lads, get away from the reality of their probably boring job and regular family life. Unfortunately for me, it's a very real reality, and in my reality, I don't enjoy being groped/hit on by drunken middle aged men.
Guys when they get together in groups are definitely the worst. They try and impress each other by pointing out boobs/hot women, even if they don't really care. Many work places with mostly men in have a word that means there's a hot woman around. Most of them don't actually care about seeing a hot woman, but they'll put on a show of acting like they care for the whole team aspect.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I wish i'd started earlier.

I wish i'd gotten a different degree... instead of wasting my time doing what i did.

 

[pg240]

Accept that everything comes with a price, and that is often more than financial, then decide whether you're willing to pay it.

This is exceptionally good advice

 

[pg240]

I don't regret one bit the time or money I've spent on my side of the cam. In fact, I relish it. I'm met some dandy people, had a ton of laughs and gained a great deal of insight about the human experience right here on this forum. And I've learned a lot about women -- and this after growing up with three sisters and being married with two daughters. If members make the effort to "know" some of the models beyond the sexuality, it's quite enlightening at times. Sure, it's the prurient or voyeuristic interest that draws most of us in, but there's so much more to be gained if desired. Unfortunately, most members don't have that desire -- hence threads such as wtf comments from members.

 

[SoTxBob]

I think it is safe to say, that most of the members here are not the type to ogle, grope, stare, drool over or cat call women in public. For me, the thought is so alien that I have to remind myself that it does happen and fairly regularly judging by the stories. But, not all men are shallow and pervy and many can talk to women no matter how they look because they do not see women as objects.

I can understand how SoTxBob would feel that all the positive attention could affect some cam models negatively in real life. It makes sense, but I would not attribute it to all models, which I don't think he was doing. So, I am not surprised that some models will find it the opposite.

... and of course .. the girls here are also frequently the exception to the rule.... :-D

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I'm met some dandy people, had a ton of laughs and gained a great deal of insight about the human experience right here on this forum. And I've learned a lot about women -- and this after growing up with three sisters and being married with two daughters. If members make the effort to "know" some of the models beyond the sexuality, it's quite enlightening at times. Sure, it's the prurient or voyeuristic interest that draws most of us in, but there's so much more to be gained if desired. Unfortunately, most members don't have that desire -- hence threads such as wtf comments from members.

I said to a regular of mine almost a year ago when he first started visiting me that he would gain more from using MFC as a way to learn more about how women work in general than he would using it as a porn site. Girls on mfc aren't totally honest as finances are involved, but they are regularly much more honest about how women work than women will ever bother to be in real life. I think a large amount of the wealth of a site like myfreecams is in being able to better yourself while having a good time. Sure you could be totally selfish, use myfreecams as a porn site, never get to know or learn to care about the models and how they feel, you could never bother to use the amazing opportunity to truly learn how women work, but at the end of it you would end up with nothing but a few memories. You'd simply have wasted a bunch of money on empty wanks that's now over and would be left feeling unsatisfied, much in the same way that you might feel after spending money on unhealthy take aways all the time, although they'd taste amazing at the time, afterwards you'd just feel sick, gain weight and face the repercussions of being unhealthy.

Obviously if you're in a long term relationship and never have problems relationship wise then this probably isn't so necessary, but if you are someone, like many many members on myfreecams, who are single and continue having failed relationships, as much as you might not realise that you are the problem, and may make various excuses, if you have been single for a long time and are past your 20s then it is you. It doesn't mean someone's a bad person, it just means how they're communicating with members of the opposite sex and dealing with relationships is not a way that is working, and as much as many people say they're happy being single, if you've been single for a while and are feeling lonely, chances are you would like to be involved with someone. Doing the same thing over and over again when it's not working is both stupid and crazy, yet everyone does it!
I think it would be much better for a member to come to myfreecams, have fun wanking and such, but also learn insight, and then in a few years time, or when they next meet someone they like, they'll have enough of a different attitude towards life and relationships that they'll be able to make it work, than if someone just uses myfreecams to stop loneliness and horniness and when that no longer works they're in exactly the same position.

I think that whatever your situation sites like myfreecams can be used for all sorts of things, you just have to work out what you really want out of life and how to use it to your advantage. Using sites like myfreecams for the wrong reasons, like in the place of a sex life or real relationships, or using it instead of going out and meeting real friends and girlfriends is not healthy. While to use it as a way to control your loneliness and sexual frustration while still trying with real life, good!

 

[Gerien]

I'm met some dandy people, had a ton of laughs and gained a great deal of insight about the human experience right here on this forum. And I've learned a lot about women -- and this after growing up with three sisters and being married with two daughters. If members make the effort to "know" some of the models beyond the sexuality, it's quite enlightening at times. Sure, it's the prurient or voyeuristic interest that draws most of us in, but there's so much more to be gained if desired. Unfortunately, most members don't have that desire -- hence threads such as wtf comments from members.

I said to a regular of mine almost a year ago when he first started visiting me that he would gain more from using MFC as a way to learn more about how women work in general than he would using it as a porn site. Girls on mfc aren't totally honest as finances are involved, but they are regularly much more honest about how women work than women will ever bother to be in real life. I think a large amount of the wealth of a site like myfreecams is in being able to better yourself while having a good time. Sure you could be totally selfish, use myfreecams as a porn site, never get to know or learn to care about the models and how they feel, you could never bother to use the amazing opportunity to truly learn how women work, but at the end of it you would end up with nothing but a few memories. You'd simply have wasted a bunch of money on empty wanks that's now over and would be left feeling unsatisfied, much in the same way that you might feel after spending money on unhealthy take aways all the time, although they'd taste amazing at the time, afterwards you'd just feel sick, gain weight and face the repercussions of being unhealthy.

Obviously if you're in a long term relationship and never have problems relationship wise then this probably isn't so necessary, but if you are someone, like many many members on myfreecams, who are single and continue having failed relationships, as much as you might not realise that you are the problem, and may make various excuses, if you have been single for a long time and are past your 20s then it is you. It doesn't mean someone's a bad person, it just means how they're communicating with members of the opposite sex and dealing with relationships is not a way that is working, and as much as many people say they're happy being single, if you've been single for a while and are feeling lonely, chances are you would like to be involved with someone. Doing the same thing over and over again when it's not working is both stupid and crazy, yet everyone does it!
I think it would be much better for a member to come to myfreecams, have fun wanking and such, but also learn insight, and then in a few years time, or when they next meet someone they like, they'll have enough of a different attitude towards life and relationships that they'll be able to make it work, than if someone just uses myfreecams to stop loneliness and horniness and when that no longer works they're in exactly the same position.

I think that whatever your situation sites like myfreecams can be used for all sorts of things, you just have to work out what you really want out of life and how to use it to your advantage. Using sites like myfreecams for the wrong reasons, like in the place of a sex life or real relationships, or using it instead of going out and meeting real friends and girlfriends is not healthy. While to use it as a way to control your loneliness and sexual frustration while still trying with real life, good!

If you wanted to learn more about women, why would you use mfc as a platform though? While I am not discriminating against models in any way and I respect what they do, do you really want your future relationship to be based on experiences with online cam girls? Furthermore, if the topic is broached between the two of you in future, are you going to lie about it and feel guilty or admit it and face the possible consequences. It is literally a kobayashi maru or no win situation. I think a better solution to learn more about women would be to sign up for social events, interacting through a non sex based webchat or even speed dating would be a better idea. Like you said most members who come to mfc view it as a porn site and adopt a wank bang thank you miss kinda attitude, and I think most models do inevitably think of members as this way. So for the few socially inept who does try to gain the model's favor to learn more about the opposite sex in this way, they already may have been stigmatized by the models for being pervs (which they might not be so) making it even more difficult to achieve their goal. Additionally, there is real monetary transactions going on in mfc and a member can get a misconception that money can be used to buy a girl's favor and although this might be somewhat true in reality, I doubt this is what they would want to take away from their mfc experience. :twocents-02cents:

One more point is that guys in their 20's who have been single for a long time like you mentioned are at their emotionally weakest state. And thus have the largest susceptibility to getting emotionally hurt. You might argue that its the guys fault for not realizing it earlier but we all know that in the game of love, it can make even the most rational person in other situations do irrational things.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

If you wanted to learn more about women, why would you use mfc as a platform though? While I am not discriminating against models in any way and I respect what they do, do you really want your future relationship to be based on experiences with online cam girls?

I think a better solution to learn more about women would be to sign up for social events, interacting through a non sex based webchat or even speed dating would be a better idea.

The reason being, if someone is already on a camsite, that's where they are. I'm not talking about people in their 20s, I'm talking about guys in their late 30s/40s/50s+ who've had very few relationships, and perhaps no relationships lasting longer than 5 years. Not having had a long term relationship in your 20s is one thing, but if it's got to the point where you're getting past your 30s and still haven't settled down at any point, then chances are you're doing something wrong or have the wrong attitude towards relationships.

I think the reason mfc is a good platform for this is because young women are often opinionated, quick to anger/upset and are often a lot more willing to be honest. Older women will get just as annoyed at men for certain things, but because of life experience they're less likely to tolerate it or rise to it.

In real life if a woman doesn't like/get along with you, she will usually simply move on/not date you. She gains very little from telling you what you're doing to upset her. In camland, if you are upsetting a model enough, she will usually say something to you, hoping you'll realise what you've done wrong, change your error and continue tipping her. The other option is for her to ban you. If tokens are involved, she'd rather you stop being a dick and continue tipping.

If you're managing to upset a model, especially more than one model, with your personality/words, then it does show that you have an issue with women. Rather than sticking to his ways, seeing as the member is clearly enjoying myfreecams, and at this point real life clearly hasn't done him any good in this area why not actually try and take on board the things models show and tell them?

Models give out a lot of information about themselves, their likes, dislikes, how they feel when people do certain things. You probably won't ever get so much honesty from a woman unless you already are in a long term relationship with her. We may not give members real sex, or even give you our real names or home addresses, but we do give you a window to view who we are.

Incidentally, the member who I said this too, at the time was frequently really upsetting models, not because he was a nasty person, but because he would speak to models in a way that you just shouldn't talk to women. He would be too honest and say very tactless things. The kind of things no woman would ever take well. Since when he started visiting I'm sure his opinions are still the same on certain areas, but he's learned to hold his tongue and say things in better ways. I don't know if it will ever change anything in the real world, but going from a member who used to make me resort to tears on a frequent basis, and the only one at that who's ever managed it, and someone who I heard regular complaints about from other models, to someone who I truly consider a friend and recently have been hearing lots of praise from other models... I cannot see how it can be a bad change.

I think one of the things with visiting models is although it isn't an actual relationship, it's much more similar to a relationship than a friendship. Although it lacks most parts of a relationship, the way you treat and talk to each other is kind of somewhere between friendship, a relationship and hidden underneath is a business transaction. Because of this I kind of see it as baby slopes, practise for a real life relationship. If you've been single for a long time then you will be selfish. You've lived a selfish life. Learning to think about the other person's feelings and thoughts on things is one of the main parts of a relationship and one of the main reasons they often fail early on. These are skills you automatically, often unintentionally practise when you visit and befriend a model. i.e. if you don't act completely selfish when you visit myfreecams, and don't get too obsessed with a model, you should be a lot more mentally ready to get involved in a real life relationship.
And you can do all this while having fun and looking at tits!

 

[pg240]

I wish i'd started earlier.

I wish i'd gotten a different degree... instead of wasting my time doing what i did.

Back when I got a degree, generally the degree was enough. It got you in the door, where you were afforded an opportunity to sell yourself and get a pretty good job in a wide variety of fields -- even with a liberal arts degree. Today seems different. I see young people leaving college with an unmarketable degree and a pile of debt. Better to specialize these days.

 

[SexySteph]

I would have started earlier. Like, when I was 18 or 19 rather than 22. And I wouldn't have tried to do complicated games on MFC on my first day. They became fun later but for some reason when I played games that MOST girls play (clear the board for example) all of a sudden guys had no idea how to play.

 

[Hermione_]

I was actually thinking about this recently. I would love to say yes I wish I started sooner, I started at 26, because honestly it would have made my life a million times easier during grad school and I wouldn't be 75k in debt. Anyway. I then think about what if I had the chance to start at 18 or 19.. was camming even a thing then? I feel old. I would have loved to cam rather than bust my ass in grocery stores and factories while going to school, but as aforementioned, it made me who I am today. Also, I couldn't see 18 year old me even going near something like this. I never even watched porn at that age. I was so absolutely insecure and unsure about myself.

This has been said by others in here, and I just want to agree. Camming has changed my life in amazing ways; personally, sexually, financially, and helped me achieve life long dreams. It would have definitely changed it even more if I was able to start a few years earlier, and if I knew a lot more before I began. I hope that I still have a few years left in me for this industry, pending its existence.

 

[Kickaz]

I would had started when I was 20. But I don't know how good mfc would have been back then. I would have done a different degree. (More business related instead of science)
But better late than never. I still think I got in at a good time.

 

[pg240]

I'm met some dandy people, had a ton of laughs and gained a great deal of insight about the human experience right here on this forum. And I've learned a lot about women -- and this after growing up with three sisters and being married with two daughters. If members make the effort to "know" some of the models beyond the sexuality, it's quite enlightening at times. Sure, it's the prurient or voyeuristic interest that draws most of us in, but there's so much more to be gained if desired. Unfortunately, most members don't have that desire -- hence threads such as wtf comments from members.

I said to a regular of mine almost a year ago when he first started visiting me that he would gain more from using MFC as a way to learn more about how women work in general than he would using it as a porn site. Girls on mfc aren't totally honest as finances are involved, but they are regularly much more honest about how women work than women will ever bother to be in real life. I think a large amount of the wealth of a site like myfreecams is in being able to better yourself while having a good time. Sure you could be totally selfish, use myfreecams as a porn site, never get to know or learn to care about the models and how they feel, you could never bother to use the amazing opportunity to truly learn how women work, but at the end of it you would end up with nothing but a few memories. You'd simply have wasted a bunch of money on empty wanks that's now over and would be left feeling unsatisfied, much in the same way that you might feel after spending money on unhealthy take aways all the time, although they'd taste amazing at the time, afterwards you'd just feel sick, gain weight and face the repercussions of being unhealthy.

Obviously if you're in a long term relationship and never have problems relationship wise then this probably isn't so necessary, but if you are someone, like many many members on myfreecams, who are single and continue having failed relationships, as much as you might not realise that you are the problem, and may make various excuses, if you have been single for a long time and are past your 20s then it is you. It doesn't mean someone's a bad person, it just means how they're communicating with members of the opposite sex and dealing with relationships is not a way that is working, and as much as many people say they're happy being single, if you've been single for a while and are feeling lonely, chances are you would like to be involved with someone. Doing the same thing over and over again when it's not working is both stupid and crazy, yet everyone does it!
I think it would be much better for a member to come to myfreecams, have fun wanking and such, but also learn insight, and then in a few years time, or when they next meet someone they like, they'll have enough of a different attitude towards life and relationships that they'll be able to make it work, than if someone just uses myfreecams to stop loneliness and horniness and when that no longer works they're in exactly the same position.

I think that whatever your situation sites like myfreecams can be used for all sorts of things, you just have to work out what you really want out of life and how to use it to your advantage. Using sites like myfreecams for the wrong reasons, like in the place of a sex life or real relationships, or using it instead of going out and meeting real friends and girlfriends is not healthy. While to use it as a way to control your loneliness and sexual frustration while still trying with real life, good!

If you wanted to learn more about women, why would you use mfc as a platform though? While I am not discriminating against models in any way and I respect what they do, do you really want your future relationship to be based on experiences with online cam girls? Furthermore, if the topic is broached between the two of you in future, are you going to lie about it and feel guilty or admit it and face the possible consequences. It is literally a kobayashi maru or no win situation. I think a better solution to learn more about women would be to sign up for social events, interacting through a non sex based webchat or even speed dating would be a better idea. Like you said most members who come to mfc view it as a porn site and adopt a wank bang thank you miss kinda attitude, and I think most models do inevitably think of members as this way. So for the few socially inept who does try to gain the model's favor to learn more about the opposite sex in this way, they already may have been stigmatized by the models for being pervs (which they might not be so) making it even more difficult to achieve their goal. Additionally, there is real monetary transactions going on in mfc and a member can get a misconception that money can be used to buy a girl's favor and although this might be somewhat true in reality, I doubt this is what they would want to take away from their mfc experience. :twocents-02cents:

One more point is that guys in their 20's who have been single for a long time like you mentioned are at their emotionally weakest state. And thus have the largest susceptibility to getting emotionally hurt. You might argue that its the guys fault for not realizing it earlier but we all know that in the game of love, it can make even the most rational person in other situations do irrational things.

I've had extensive correspondence with models away from the cam. I've learned something about what women tolerate and won't tolerate, what they appreciate and don't appreciate, what they take for granted and don't take for granted, what kind of behavior they see right through, how hard they'll work to strive for an admirable goal, how quick they are to defend what they believe is right and the people they believe in, and when you get right down to it what they think about men.

My spouse and I are close, but I don't always know what she is thinking -- and that's fine. It's actually pretty cool. There are things she just won't open up about, like my panty fetish for example. We share, but there's a point when the subject matter is out of bounds with her. I accept that. It's just they way we operate. Not a perfect relationship, but still a very good one.

I didn't start corresponding with a few models to learn things about women. That was just a byproduct of open conversation and the occasional probing question. I didn't want to make a big deal about it in this thread. Just wanted to make a point. I truly think my eyes have been opened on occasion -- here and in correspondence with a few models. I'm no dummy. I didn't get my education here. I only enhanced it.

 

[Gerien]

I've had extensive correspondence with models away from the cam. I've learned something about what women tolerate and won't tolerate, what they appreciate and don't appreciate, what they take for granted and don't take for granted, what kind of behavior they see right through, how hard they'll work to strive for an admirable goal, how quick they are to defend what they believe is right and the people they believe in, and when you get right down to it what they think about men.

My spouse and I are close, but I don't always know what she is thinking -- and that's fine. It's actually pretty cool. There are things she just won't open up about, like my panty fetish for example. We share, but there's a point when the subject matter is out of bounds with her. I accept that. It's just they way we operate. Not a perfect relationship, but still a very good one.

I didn't start corresponding with a few models to learn things about women. That was just a byproduct of open conversation and the occasional probing question. I didn't want to make a big deal about it in this thread. Just wanted to make a point. I truly think my eyes have been opened on occasion -- here and in correspondence with a few models. I'm no dummy. I didn't get my education here. I only enhanced it.

I totally concur with you on this. On the occasions I had engaged hookers, they told me that most of their clientele were married men in their late 30's or 40's. This came as a surpirse to me as I didn't comprehend why perfectly happily married men would want to cheat on their spouses. Back then the naive and idealistic me didn't realize that married sex is not as perfect as it sounds and that men seek out other avenues to fulfill their sexual void in their lives. Which begs the question: Is there truly a perfect soulmate or partner? How ironic is it that so many guys' fantasies have to be fulfilled by sex workers whom they will never see again instead of their significant other which they have spent so much love cultivating together. Then I realized that this was only possible because the role of the sex workers is to fulfill that specific niche in men's life that they do so well, whereas in a real life relationship there are many other factors such as children, mortgages, bills etc to take care of. I think what Isabella is saying is also this, that cam models are usually more candid about their lives, because they know that their identity is protected and they don't have to engage in a real life face to face discussions with any member.

Sorry if this post reeks of cynicism and thank you all for your valuable input!

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Back then the naive and idealistic me didn't realize that married sex is not as perfect as it sounds and that men seek out other avenues to fulfill their sexual void in their lives. Which begs the question: Is there truly a perfect soulmate or partner? How ironic is it that so many guys' fantasies have to be fulfilled by sex workers whom they will never see again instead of their significant other which they have spent so much love cultivating together. Then I realized that this was only possible because the role of the sex workers is to fulfill that specific niche in men's life that they do so well, whereas in a real life relationship there are many other factors such as children, mortgages, bills etc to take care of.

Remember though that although yes, there are plenty of men who do visit prostitutes, or have done at some point in their lives, those who visit prostitutes while married or on a regular basis are still a big minority.

Some people also shouldn't have been married in the first place. If you're visiting a prostitute then you are missing something big in your marriage. Sex is what defines the difference between a relationship and a friendship. In many marriages they become friends/no longer sexually attracted to each other, but because of children and such they want to stay together. Some men are just bastards and aren't willing to work on their sex life and would rather just go and pay for it, even though they are breaking their marriage vows.

Plenty of people who get married stay together for a long time and never cheat on each other. What is true though is a lot of people get together for fairly shallow reasons, looks, social reasons, current interests, success, for the sake of being with someone. Many couples fight/bicker right from the start, in fact we're taught watching films and reading books that this is a good thing and means you're in love, when really it's just to make fiction interesting. People get married all the time who shouldn't get married. So yes, it's no wonder that when the time comes that they're no longer satisfying each other sexually that when the man gets horny, it's fairly easy for him to hire a prostitute. But just because some men do this please don't mistake it with all men.
Not all men view camgirls, not even all men watch porn, not all men find girls 20 years younger than them attractive, not all men cheat, not all men go to prostitutes when they're horny, and not all men would have a one night stand with someone even if it were offered. Some men do these things, sure, but not all men do.
Real love does exist, as do relationships where you satisfy each others fantasies, sexual fetishes, and make sure you're both happy sexually.
Some women don't particularly like sex, and it's not surprising as most men (however good they think they are), are shit in bed. Women who tell them otherwise were just being nice. It's much harder to turn a woman on than a man, so it's harder for us to get out of sexual ruts, though in my opinion you just need to get on with it and have sex, kind of like jumping into a swimming pool, you'll enjoy it once you're in it. Because some women absolutely try to avoid sex at all measures... well, I do empathise with men in these situations, though the correct thing to do would be to totally open up to your wife/girlfriend and say there's a problem, that you need to have sex, and pretty much imply it's getting to the point you're tempted to cheat. Better to do that then to cheat and tell her after. At this point you either work on your issues and it either gets better, or you decide to break up. Either way, being in a relationship where you're forced to pay for sex outside it because you're not getting any in it is no relationship. And I think if the man is cheating and the woman isn't aware it's unfair, they should speak of having an open relationship, so the woman has rights to do the same.

 

[Deleted member 8603]

I was actually thinking about this recently. I would love to say yes I wish I started sooner, I started at 26, because honestly it would have made my life a million times easier during grad school and I wouldn't be 75k in debt. Anyway. I then think about what if I had the chance to start at 18 or 19.. was camming even a thing then? I feel old. I would have loved to cam rather than bust my ass in grocery stores and factories while going to school, but as aforementioned, it made me who I am today. Also, I couldn't see 18 year old me even going near something like this. I never even watched porn at that age. I was so absolutely insecure and unsure about myself.

This has been said by others in here, and I just want to agree. Camming has changed my life in amazing ways; personally, sexually, financially, and helped me achieve life long dreams. It would have definitely changed it even more if I was able to start a few years earlier, and if I knew a lot more before I began. I hope that I still have a few years left in me for this industry, pending its existence.

You're not that old yet! It has been around a very long time.
Jennicam was started in 1996. She's regarded as the first webcam model by a lot of people.

 

[Hermione_]

I was actually thinking about this recently. I would love to say yes I wish I started sooner, I started at 26, because honestly it would have made my life a million times easier during grad school and I wouldn't be 75k in debt. Anyway. I then think about what if I had the chance to start at 18 or 19.. was camming even a thing then? I feel old. I would have loved to cam rather than bust my ass in grocery stores and factories while going to school, but as aforementioned, it made me who I am today. Also, I couldn't see 18 year old me even going near something like this. I never even watched porn at that age. I was so absolutely insecure and unsure about myself.

This has been said by others in here, and I just want to agree. Camming has changed my life in amazing ways; personally, sexually, financially, and helped me achieve life long dreams. It would have definitely changed it even more if I was able to start a few years earlier, and if I knew a lot more before I began. I hope that I still have a few years left in me for this industry, pending its existence.

You're not that old yet! It has been around a very long time.
Jennicam was started in 1996. She's regarded as the first webcam model by a lot of people.

whew! hahaha. I can't imagine my internet back in 2004 handling a cam site, or the quality of a cam at that point, let alone in 1996!

 

[LadyLuna]

(really long post with a lot of good points)

I'm glad you said that bit at the end about open relationships.

There are times where the woman wants sex something like twice a month, and the man wants it closer to twice a week. Now, my mother said that when you're married, sometimes you'll have sex with the man when you don't want it to make him happy, and less often, he'll have sex with you when he doesn't want it to make you happy. But I do think there's a third option, if it's really that much of a difference.

As long as the woman's needs are being satisfied as often as she needs it, I see no problem with a man seeking out a prostitute if he wants it more often than she does. He just needs to be careful about it (don't want to bring home something nasty, so only go to those who are careful to keep clean, and always use a condom which needs to be properly disposed of to make sure there are no kids from it).

I also see no problem with it if the opposite issue happens and a woman decides to find a route to take care of her sexual needs outside of pushing unwanted sex on her partner.

Ideally, in a relationship, there won't be a huge disparity in the couple's sex drives, but life isn't ideal. Life is messy. As long as both partners are happy and satisfied, there's no real problem with how they handle it. The problem comes when the wife only wants it twice a month, but doesn't want her husband to seek it outside of marriage and won't let him have her the twice a week he really needs.

 

[Always_Tim]

You're not that old yet! It has been around a very long time.
Jennicam was started in 1996. She's regarded as the first webcam model by a lot of people.

whew! hahaha. I can't imagine my internet back in 2004 handling a cam site, or the quality of a cam at that point, let alone in 1996!

Well Jennicam was a very different thing from MFC. It was still images that only updated once every few minutes. It was more like watching a security camera than anything, from what I remember.