I think I've been had!

[CharlyVi]

Ok, so. Dude just took me exclusive on Streamate, asked me to get naked, turn off my music and then my lights and strike a bunch of poses, and then had me repeat back questions to him and answer them. They seemed like questions designed to make people say racist stereotype kinda things, which I didn't, cuz I don't do that shit. Like the races of people I've slept with and their dick sizes. I answered honestly and in a non-fetishizing, non-stereotyping way—I didn't discuss past partners' dick sizes at all. But I'm concerned about the fact that I repeated his questions in the first place. The questions weren't outright racist, they just seemed designed to elicit racist answers. I was a little confused and wasn't really thinking when I followed his instruction to repeat them.

ANYWAY. Is this weird video of me about to end up online somewhere, or am I just being paranoid? I realize videos of me are sure to be taken and posted around at some point... I think it's the weird racially charged questions that concern me the most. Also just curious if anyone else has had a similar experience, so we can swap stories of what to look out for.

 

[3Dnikki]

I'm confused how is that racist? I get this often where the users ask what race I've been with and what size they were I just answer honestly which is I've only been with one guy and he was white and big my problem is that I'm mixed (50% Vietnamese 20% Nigerian 10% Ghana 5% Fillipino 5% Chinese 5% Japanese 3% Polynesian and 2% middle Eastern). When the person is clearly white I tell them the truth. I do not like telling black men the truth that causes problems. Same with asian men. I'll usually fib a little not really just exaggerate with Asian men and say the guy I was with was eurasian. He called himself white because he looked white and for all purposes was white but had asian way back. With black men I just usually don't answer the question. Like one guy he said did he have bbc. I said yea he was big avoiding answering his race. And totally ignored race. So we didn't have to get into the fact that I've never been with a black man. Especially since they assume I have some black in me. So to them that goes without saying. My problem is this idk what I am supposed to respond this one user came in my room trying to get me to say what I like about if I like black men in bed or white men etc I didn't know how I was supposed to go about this and respond so I tried to say black men were good in bed and make up a reason but I really didn't know what he was wanting me to say? He switched to white men and then just left?

Also one other thing I don't get this how come on some sites they do race stuff and others they don't. Like I worked for a day with a cam company this girl who was half puerto rican half black about my color told me that they will come in your room and slave play or whatever was not lucky for this to happen to ,me. I only made 1 dollar there didn't comeback. But I never experienced this except like angry people made you didn't do something free. I'm on mfc I never experience this. I think I may have encountered maybe one user on chaturbate a year ago who asked about it. But yea is it just not allowed on some websites do they chose to notgo on mfc? And why not? Because she seemed to say she got a lot of money off of this. I was ok with it. Considering in my regular life I've done way worst I guess. Maybe I look too asian I guess? People always go to my page thinking I'd indian weirdly when I'm not indian at all.

 

[CharlyVi]

Oh, interesting to know you've been asked the same thing a lot. I haven't as much... Maybe I was just being paranoid, maybe he really was just personally getting off to it. I just thought it was weird he asked me to turn off my music and hold poses for him, as well as repeat the questions out loud.

As for the racism concern, I've been with people of different backgrounds and just didn't want to imply that difference in dick size is a racial trait, since that's untrue and a stereotype that a lot of people I know find hurtful.

 

[3Dnikki]

Oh, interesting to know you've been asked the same thing a lot. I haven't as much... Maybe I was just being paranoid, maybe he really was just personally getting off to it. I just thought it was weird he asked me to turn off my music and hold poses for him, as well as repeat the questions out loud.

As for the racism concern, I've been with people of different backgrounds and just didn't want to imply that difference in dick size is a racial trait, since that's untrue and a stereotype that a lot of people I know find hurtful.

I thought the stereotype was that black and white men have big penises. I never heard a stereotype that black men have small ones and white men have big. If anything I think people make that assumption with asian or indian men especially indian men. It's silly it's all about the vertical size of the man. That's why people say that because indian men tend to be the smallest men and white men and some black men tend to be the biggest. obviously penis size and height don't correlate though. As a person of asian descent I never felt that was offensive because it's just talking about average height anyone who believes that is pretty ignorant and hasn't been around a lot of men to know any better in my book.

 

[CharlyVi]

That's what I meant, the untrue stereotype that Asian men have smaller penises than other men. I had just told him I've had white and Asian partners when he asked the dick size question.

 

[3Dnikki]

That's what I meant, the untrue stereotype that Asian men have smaller penises than other men. I had just told him I've had white and Asian partners when he asked the dick size question.

oh I didn't think of it from that point of view. I'd have just said the white guys were all small and asian guys were big lol. That way no one can say I was offending asian men. Ehh I guess that's when I'd lie lol.

 

[SMuser69]

ANYWAY. Is this weird video of me about to end up online somewhere, or am I just being paranoid? I realize videos of me are sure to be taken and posted around at some point...

Considering this was a SM exclusive if it was recorded it's probably going into someone private collection. Someone into this sort of kink might not try to screw up a chance for another performance.

 

[CharlyVi]

Considering this was a SM exclusive if it was recorded it's probably going into someone private collection. Someone into this sort of kink might not try to screw up a chance for another performance.

Maybe so! It's been generally kind of a weird/unpleasant day for me in terms of human interaction, so I was probably just being paranoid.

I didn't say anything I'd be ashamed of anyhow, and he would really have to edit the heck out of what I said to make it seem like I did.

 

[SMuser69]

Maybe so! It's been generally kind of a weird/unpleasant day for me in terms of human interaction, so I was probably just being paranoid.

I didn't say anything I'd be ashamed of anyhow, and he would really have to edit the heck out of what I said to make it seem like I did.

One of the reasons SM is popular is for the intimacy of the privates and what happens in them. There's a reason taboo is used a LOT in SM bios. As a member I don't judge models and don't expect to be judged back in return. Make sure to keep in line with the TOS but often members use exclusives because they might have darker fantasies. It's like foot fetishes most people don't understand HOW they are sexual but that doesn't mean they aren't and preforming them for the member that ask isn't valuable to them. Neither does it mean if you don't do foot fetish they are going to try to attack people feet in public instead.

 

[Ava Nicole]

Umm I’ve actually had some recorded exclusives end up on video streaming sites. So I disagree that you should just assume it’s private - you never know who’s watching, recording or where it could end up. Not trying to alarm you but it’s in your best interest to assume anyone could end up watching any of your shows. I know exactly what you mean by a type of questioning that leads you to believe you’re being recorded, it does happen!

And yes, there are tons of guys on SM who go in shows and try to get you to say and do extremely racist shit. It’s very common. You’re probably fine this time but In the future, I’d just decline any race play type of shows if you are worried about it. I personally won’t touch that shit. I’m into a lot of kinks but getting off a racist shithead isn’t my jam nor do I want it to someday end up on pornhub or whatever. So personally I just don’t touch any type of commentary on race unless I’m in a c2c show with a black/Mexican dude who wants me to talk about his cock which I think is completely different.


It’s a good idea to build up boundaries and always be able to say no, no matter how much you need money on SM! Those guys will go hog wild with their fantasies and shows they think are behind closed doors, but some of that stuff can actually have an effect on your account (banning, suspension) or an overall effect on the longevity or reputation of your career (like you’re worried about!).

 

[CharlyVi]

It's like foot fetishes...

I see race stuff as different from e.g. a foot fetish.... I'm not here to judge how people from marginalized groups use sexual fetishes to process their own experiences of having been marginalized, but as a white person myself, I don't want to participate in reinforcement of any stereotypes or degradation of nonwhite folks, not even in a "fantasy" context.

Not trying to alarm you but it’s in your best interest to assume anyone could end up watching any of your shows... I’m into a lot of kinks but getting off a racist shithead isn’t my jam nor do I want it to someday end up on pornhub or whatever.

Yeah, exactly. Thanks for your response. I don't know what this guy's own racial identity was or what he was going for exactly, but I'm not here to fuel any racist white guy's delusions of superiority. And yeah, I know my stuff could well be recorded and distributed... I should have been firmer about my boundaries. Was feeling kind of demoralized when he came along, honestly, because of someone having said something shitty to me earlier, and I think it left me in the mindset of "I better make $$$ right now to validate my life choices" lol. He bought a block too! I could have just been like "nah" and still walked away with the money. Jeez, Charly. Oh well... lesson learned.

 

[AudriTwo]

Another streamate model and I were talking how raceplay is for people to be flat out racist. She told me she had a member request for raceplay, say he was black man. She noted his account like she does for everyone after an exclusive. Couple months later he turns on his cam and it's a white dude.

Racists are sneaky. I refuse to do it.

 

[CharlyVi]

Racists are sneaky. I refuse to do it.

Yeah, sounds like good policy to me. Next time someone veers even vaguely close to that territory I won't give benefit of the doubt, I'll just shut it down.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Everyone's different, especially when it comes to things people do for money. But, my policy is if you wouldn't do such things in your personal life. Why entertain the thought of it for pay? Even more so, if you're concerned about it coming back on you.

This isn't meant in a disrespectful manner by any means. Nor is it directed at anyone in particular. It's a general statement towards celebrities, actors/actresses, etc who claim to have certain political views. Yet, they make big money doing what they claim they're against.

 

[AudriTwo]

Yeah, sounds like good policy to me. Next time someone veers even vaguely close to that territory I won't give benefit of the doubt, I'll just shut it down.

i do interracial, where i will use a different color dildo if they ask, but i don't focus on their race. some people want a POV with a toy that looks similar to theirs.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

i do interracial, where i will use a different color dildo if they ask, but i don't focus on their race. some people want a POV with a toy that looks similar to theirs.

Ive never given thought to the color or shape/design of a toy a model uses other than thinking it might look cool or feel good for her if it’s something like a Bad Dragon. But I can see where people might want similar color to their own.

 

[CharlyVi]

i will use a different color dildo if they ask, but i don't focus on their race. some people want a POV with a toy that looks similar to theirs.

This makes total sense to me! I have yet to collect a variety of skintone dildos, but I want to when I have the means.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Some people have bizarre (to me) obsessions with our sexual preferences and history. I refuse to answer those questions because it's not relevant to the interaction in my opinion. If you can't jerk off to someone without knowing their past partner's races and genital sizes, that's a little weird.

I don't think it's super likely that this is going to be posted anywhere, the guy is probably just one of the ones who's obsessed with who we've fucked.

 

[CharlyVi]

I don't think it's super likely that this is going to be posted anywhere, the guy is probably just one of the ones who's obsessed with who we've fucked.

Thank you, that's comforting to hear!