**WARNING- RAMBLE AHEAD**
I've spent a copious amount of time reading through the many and varied forum topics. Forewarned is well warned. It can be brutal but sometimes the truth is, also this forum is equally humorous and supportive.
I was hesitant to even register for a CB account and had no reason to, as in 2022 spent very little time on it. My initial impression was fairly bored people starring at screens typing in degrees of undress and the messages from many guests were not particularly stimulating. Then, a performer caught my eye as they reminded me very much of someone IRL I fancied but were 100% unavailable, which led to spending more time on CB, registering an account and purchasing tokens late December.
That's the start of the rabbit hole - they were very intermittent so I just browsed other rooms and engaged with some performers, not many.
I did find myself coming back to a particular model who had only started in January, had very few in her room. Our time zones could hardly be much further apart - Aus- Colombia but the start of her day was the end of mine so it worked. Even if it meant sleep depravation for me, I enjoyed her company very much, chatted a lot because her room was so quiet, she liked getting off and getting me off. I tipped but didnt know what was expected or reasonable. I purchased more tokens and upped the tips. After now seeing the tip bombs some people drop I feel what I tip is never enough and she only gets a proportion of that to make matters worse. I was the first to drop her a 50 token tip and she was actually rather emotional.
It was mid February when I virtually stopped going to any other rooms as no one else did it for me and I was sick of the dumb small talk although ahora, mi Espanol es mas major. She seemed to want more and gave me her private whatsapp number. Now while your'e thinking here we go, she was still very new to the whole scene, I didnt know what the app even was and tried ringing the number given. After I installed the app we were connected and messages started, I was rather thrilled until she was asking could she do shows away from CB for me so I could pay her direct and not lose the studio/CB cut. Fair play though, not a bad business move, profit isn't a dirty word after all! So I responded and said while I get why it would be good for her, it clarified our relationship was transactional.
Of course this was met with no no no amor, eres especial etc > My skepticism radar and deflector shields were set to 11 after this ( spinal tap reference there)
The request was never repeated and I've become what you would call a regular in her room, and despite my modest but regular tips I'm always greeted very warmly and I am "Mi Rey" although I expect I'm one of many. I don't want to do the sums but I've dropped 1500-2000 tokens to her - as I said, modest but regular.
So whats the point of this ramble? I think I'm infatuated with her, but reckon it's a one way deal, although initially I thought the possibility of more. I've been 100% upfront, probably disclosed too much. She has told me her situation also - divorced, daughter, qualified teacher with degree, late 30s. There's never been requests for money, bills to pay, asking for tips or gifts- even the sick mother card has not been played - although she sent me a photo of her mum. I've sent her many pics of my day to day life which she appears to genuinely appreciate & enjoy - I suppose I'm far away in a strange exotic land the beach, surfing and kangaroo pics are intriguing to her.
Fairly early on it was clear there were just too many barriers and hurdles for anything to progress. It's the hope that kills you.. Primarily though, she supports her family, her mother is elderly so nothing after comes close. But the intense desire I feel for her, to know her more- not just the cam persona is tremendous. My anticipation grows when she's due to start, I'm trying to limit the time/days I get online, but she is constantly in my thoughts. I've referenced the movie " Lost in Translation" to her - two people in a strange place, a little lost in life that form an unlikely friendship plus we do have somewhat (not total) of a language barrier. She assures me, I'm special to her, she doesn't have the chats we have with others which as much as I'm desperate to believe, I take with a shovel of salt thanks to reading this forum. I initiate whatsapp messages which she always replies to and as soon as I appear in her room there's a very happy greeting and PMs.
Anyway my first post, sorry it became an essay. I had to get my feelings out. I'm struggling to deal with this, my head is so conflicted and clouded. Wanting someone so badly that just can't be is part of the human experience I suppose. The sensible thing to do would be to just not go online and think of England. So much easier to write than do. Besides, I've had some sessions with her that still bring a shiver.
Is there a question to be answered? Not really. So slap me back into reality or offer wisdom if you wish. At least appreciate I've used paragraphs ;-)
I've spent a copious amount of time reading through the many and varied forum topics. Forewarned is well warned. It can be brutal but sometimes the truth is, also this forum is equally humorous and supportive.
I was hesitant to even register for a CB account and had no reason to, as in 2022 spent very little time on it. My initial impression was fairly bored people starring at screens typing in degrees of undress and the messages from many guests were not particularly stimulating. Then, a performer caught my eye as they reminded me very much of someone IRL I fancied but were 100% unavailable, which led to spending more time on CB, registering an account and purchasing tokens late December.
That's the start of the rabbit hole - they were very intermittent so I just browsed other rooms and engaged with some performers, not many.
I did find myself coming back to a particular model who had only started in January, had very few in her room. Our time zones could hardly be much further apart - Aus- Colombia but the start of her day was the end of mine so it worked. Even if it meant sleep depravation for me, I enjoyed her company very much, chatted a lot because her room was so quiet, she liked getting off and getting me off. I tipped but didnt know what was expected or reasonable. I purchased more tokens and upped the tips. After now seeing the tip bombs some people drop I feel what I tip is never enough and she only gets a proportion of that to make matters worse. I was the first to drop her a 50 token tip and she was actually rather emotional.
It was mid February when I virtually stopped going to any other rooms as no one else did it for me and I was sick of the dumb small talk although ahora, mi Espanol es mas major. She seemed to want more and gave me her private whatsapp number. Now while your'e thinking here we go, she was still very new to the whole scene, I didnt know what the app even was and tried ringing the number given. After I installed the app we were connected and messages started, I was rather thrilled until she was asking could she do shows away from CB for me so I could pay her direct and not lose the studio/CB cut. Fair play though, not a bad business move, profit isn't a dirty word after all! So I responded and said while I get why it would be good for her, it clarified our relationship was transactional.
Of course this was met with no no no amor, eres especial etc > My skepticism radar and deflector shields were set to 11 after this ( spinal tap reference there)
The request was never repeated and I've become what you would call a regular in her room, and despite my modest but regular tips I'm always greeted very warmly and I am "Mi Rey" although I expect I'm one of many. I don't want to do the sums but I've dropped 1500-2000 tokens to her - as I said, modest but regular.
So whats the point of this ramble? I think I'm infatuated with her, but reckon it's a one way deal, although initially I thought the possibility of more. I've been 100% upfront, probably disclosed too much. She has told me her situation also - divorced, daughter, qualified teacher with degree, late 30s. There's never been requests for money, bills to pay, asking for tips or gifts- even the sick mother card has not been played - although she sent me a photo of her mum. I've sent her many pics of my day to day life which she appears to genuinely appreciate & enjoy - I suppose I'm far away in a strange exotic land the beach, surfing and kangaroo pics are intriguing to her.
Fairly early on it was clear there were just too many barriers and hurdles for anything to progress. It's the hope that kills you.. Primarily though, she supports her family, her mother is elderly so nothing after comes close. But the intense desire I feel for her, to know her more- not just the cam persona is tremendous. My anticipation grows when she's due to start, I'm trying to limit the time/days I get online, but she is constantly in my thoughts. I've referenced the movie " Lost in Translation" to her - two people in a strange place, a little lost in life that form an unlikely friendship plus we do have somewhat (not total) of a language barrier. She assures me, I'm special to her, she doesn't have the chats we have with others which as much as I'm desperate to believe, I take with a shovel of salt thanks to reading this forum. I initiate whatsapp messages which she always replies to and as soon as I appear in her room there's a very happy greeting and PMs.
Anyway my first post, sorry it became an essay. I had to get my feelings out. I'm struggling to deal with this, my head is so conflicted and clouded. Wanting someone so badly that just can't be is part of the human experience I suppose. The sensible thing to do would be to just not go online and think of England. So much easier to write than do. Besides, I've had some sessions with her that still bring a shiver.
Is there a question to be answered? Not really. So slap me back into reality or offer wisdom if you wish. At least appreciate I've used paragraphs ;-)
