Have you ever broken up with a boyfriend for camming?

[EmilyRay]

The title is pretty self-explanatory, though I didn't mean to make it sound as selfish lol. I mean has he ever expressed being uncomfortable, and made you choose between him and camming?

I recently was in a similar situation, and was wondering if anyone else has been

 

[Serenity_Tam]

I have never been in such a situation because I would never start dating someone who was uncomfortable with my job. Different values and such.

If I made the mistake though and say my current gf decided she was suddenly not cool with it I would dump her. Values not aligning and such. There are millions in the dating pool.

 

[AlluraBelle]

As far as I'm concerned, my job has been here before any future boyfriend. Obviously I'd let them know what I do before jumping in, but later on if any issues arose I'd tell them how it is.

A prior boyfriend (3+ years) was appalled when I first suggested becoming a cam model. In my mind I decided that he was around 'first' so I didn't do it. I caught crap for a very, very long time for even suggesting it. I'm talking he brought it up two years later! Now I know better.

 

[MissBlaire]

I've never had a bf make me choose between him or camming. The last guy I dated, however, was uncomfortable with it.
When we first got together he claimed it was cool, but his comments or energy about it showed me he didn't approve.
He once said "no guy would want his gf to be a cam model" or something along those lines, called it a "game young girls play" etc.
Eventually I broke up with him because the longer I stayed with him the worse I felt about camming, and I love camming! I was letting his negativity bring down my own opinion of myself. It was hurting my motivation, ability to get online, and my happiness about my job.
Breaking up with him was a very good decision on my part.

Good luck navigating your current dillema.
Life is much better having support, but I completely understand loving someone who does not support it. It's tough. (Hugs)

 

[AliceoftheSKY]

I understand! I recently went through this with my current partner. We are committed and long term, and I had to fight for what I want to do. It has taken work, and he's still not 100% comfortable with it, but I am doing it anyway, so he does have to deal with it.

I am not sure if I would break up with someone over camming alone, but I would break up with someone who thought they could dictate how I choose to make money and spend my time. It would be difficult to stay in a relationship when someone is freaking out about what you are doing all the time. If they can work out their jealousy, then great, if not, I wouldn't want to deal with it long term.

 

[AudriTwo]

I've broken up with a boy because he didn't like me working at this one place because he was jealous of my coworkers I had FOB with in the past. I'm kinda not cool with anyone telling me how to live my life it is going to mean me taking a paycut. If they aren't paying my bills, GTFO. But I would never rely on a man to pay my bills. I am responsible for me and myself.

But you have to consider your relationship too. How long or how much have you invested in your relationship? What do you like most about it? Does he hold you back to grow or encourage you?

 

[BiancaBaker]

Since I am in this for life my partner has to be okay with this job. I'm marrying my bf in 1.5 years and he's so supportive and would never make me stop doing what I love and am amazing at. Just like I wouldn't make him quit his job I expect the same kind of respect back. I am proud to be a clip maker and how far I've come in almost 5 years and am only working towards my big goal with this job and if I ever did leave it would be my decision nobody else's. There are so many guys who would accept this job and there are also many who will never accept it.

If you love this job and are making great money I would leave whoever told me to quit. Unless your bf can pay all your bills and keep you happy financially NEVER quit a job because some guy doesn't like it. You should live the way you want without anyone telling you otherwise.


EDIT: Pretty much what Audri said lol (I wrote this as she wrote hers)

 

[AudriTwo]

EDIT: Pretty much what Audri said lol (I wrote this as she wrote hers)

GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!

 

[Bobbie Madison]

I would list the pros and the cons of the relationship and see how much it's worth. But I work another job on top of this, so I'll be honest, that I have cut it back in the past so we could at least spend time together when we're dating. And if I'm dating seriously I won't do certain perks like give out my phone number because it might get a little personal talking on the phone with a member all of the time.

But stop completely? no! And if he doesn't like what you do, you'll decide if you'll leave or not. It's the nature of the beast. Some men are not okay with their women being doctors because they're intimidated by the power. Would you let go of your med degree for him? Think of it that way, because although many people on the outside in the vanilla work swears this is "easy" money, they have no idea how much work girls put in to make it to where they are now. I'm not sure I would be willing to give up all that time I've invested b/c a guy doesn't like it. Shit, if he doesn't like it, someone else will.

And it's usually a bad situation when a guy gives you an ultimatum unless he's saying something like, "It's either me or your side piece." not, "It's either me or your career that you've worked so hard on before we even knew each other."

 

[DonaDiabla]

Actually, I would dump a guy over this job because I feel that he has no right to question my job decisions. Not even my parents or other family members question my job decisions. So, I would feel that he would be out of line and I would be quick to point that out. Also, I would ask him if he would be willing to shell out for the loss of my camming income. However, no one has never told me to quiet my sex industry career

 

[Ariadne O!]

For me personally, I have been with my boyfriend for two years and my decision to begin camming was very recent. Our relationship is very open, and I felt comfortable enough to bring it up to him as soon as I had begun considering it and doing the initial research before taking the big plunge and performing. We had a lot of discussions about it- I showed him the websites I was considering working on, showed him how other models interacted, and even suggested the idea of working as a couple together on a site. He was apprehensive at first, but he has always said that I can do whatever I want to. We had a lot of back and forth discussion together, and it definitely took some convincing on my end to quell his anxieties about my choice. Nonetheless, he doesn't believe he has the right to dictate what I do with my life, and he understands my reasoning behind venturing into the world of cam modeling. I think that every partner should be that way- even if they don't necessarily agree with the choices you make, they need to understand that you are a fully autonomous human being and therefore have the right to "do what thou wilt" unless you are causing some sort of unnecessary harm to yourself.

I believe that if he had been a complete and total arse about the situation that I would have dumped him, because then he would have been getting in the way of me maintaining the income necessary for me to survive. I don't think that anyone should stand in the way of that, nor should they expect me to just lean on them for financial support instead of opting to be an entrepreneur via the sex industry. I personally have always been very independent and won't allow a partner to support me fully. I believe that since we are in this relationship together and we pay bills together that we need to both be doing our fair share to ensure that everything is taken care of.

 

[Rydergoodee]

Unless my significant other is paying all my bills , my tuition groceries gas blah blah I would never let another guy dictate my happiness and I am becoming a VERY happy cam girl! We only have one life! It took me a long time to realize that making other people happy is NOT making me happy so from now on I am putting myself and well being and HAPPINESS first. This is a lesson that took me forever to learn!

 

[Violet Dawn]

I have never had to do it, but I would.

I can't say "would I leave my current partner" because I love him very much, but if he wasn't okay with this job he wouldn't really have the values I had originally so I don't think I would have fallen for him... If that makes sense.

 

[lightbulbee]

It took me quite a long time to figure out whether I should give camming a go until I finally decided to do so. I’m not sure, if I had ever come to this decision, if it wasn’t for my supportive bf. He wasn’t like “sure, get naked on the internet if that’s what you want”, but he was open to the general idea of it and willing to explore and discuss the different aspects of camming with me. He’d listen and give feedback to my plans and concerns and we had many good talks about morals, sex work in general, society’s expectations & their influence on us, our sexuality etc. I think this journey has really shown that our values and beliefs do align.

Now, my bf wouldn’t be comfortable with me doing explicit stuff on cam, mainly for the same reasons I wouldn’t be comfortable doing them. Hence, what I’m going to say next is merely hypothetical. I’m usually a selfish bitch when it comes to my life decisions, but even if I wanted to do cumshows, I’d agree on not doing them. Mainly because I know he wouldn’t think less of me if I did them, he’s just not comfortable with it for some reasons. So in our case we’d just be disagreeing on some details, but still head in the same direction. This is what matters most to me.

People who make their SO choose between the relationship and doing/refraining from a certain action are ignorant to the reasons why the person even considered the action in the first place. Those reasons matter as they will probably have an impact on other life decisions as well. When it comes to relationships, for me it really boils down to the question: Are my partner and I supporting each other in becoming a better version of ourselves? If I ever found myself not being able to support something that is really important to my SO, I’d leave him but never make him choose. When I love a person, I want this person to thrive and to feel supported. Even if this means that I have to step out of the game, so he can find someone who’s better suited.

What I’m trying to say is: 1.) I believe it’s not always easy to decide if a compromise on a specific subject is a viable option in the long run. 2.) Forcing someone to choose between the relationship and a specific action is not only selfish but has little to do with love.