Have members ever married a model?

[Pant222]

When I don't make my goal my own self worth is on the line and that's a shitty shitty feeling anyone who is not a sex worker will never understand.

I think that is ignoring what people in other professions, who's entire income is based on selling is like. When I meet with a prospective client for my web design services, it's a free consultation, which generally takes a few hours of my time (travel to and from the meeting, and the actual time spent with them) and costs me money for travel (whether transit or driving+parking). If they are meeting with me, they already want a website and have looked at my portfolio and liked my work enough to schedule a meeting. Now it comes down to me selling myself to them to be their designer. When someone decides not to go with me for their project, I feel like crap, to get to the stage of meeting with me, they're at least 75% on board already- if after meeting with me, they aren't interested, it's all my own failure, directly. I blew it entirely and feel worthless because of it.

Going home from a meeting like that, worrying you won't find enough clients to be able to pay the mortgage is a constant worry. With all due respect to any particular profession, being rejected directly in any profession can hit you hard and leave you feeling like a complete and utter failure. I'm pretty even keeled, don't usually have highs or lows, so for something to have me feel like something you'd scrape off your shoe means it really hit hard. When I get clients and know the bills will be paid, I joke to my wife "We won't starve for another month!".

So while a cam model is selling her looks and personality, it's my personality that sells people on becoming a client, and when any of us fail at selling an aspect of ourselves, it hurts and it sucks.

All due respect my friend but what you're selling doesn't even come close to what the girls are selling.

 

[Littlegringo]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you. Hell, people will sit through 2 hours of high pressure sales pitches for a $20 gift certificate... But that's not the point.

The point I was trying to make wasn't that my profession is worse than yours or anything like that, it was that people in so many different positions in life do get their self esteem crushed into the ground. Whether you're a cam model facing your set of problems, a guy who every pretty girl laughed at and wouldn't even take a second to talk to, or a person being harassed by his/her employer or abused by a spouse, when that person breaks down and cries, feeling worthless, sometimes feeling like they would be better off dead, my opinion on who's situation was worse doesn't seem to matter. When people are at rock bottom, they're all equal, regardless of how they got there.

 

[Shaun__]

All due respect my friend but what you're selling doesn't even come close to what the girls are selling.

As a member it kind of sucks to learn someone you thought of as a friend does not even want spend time with you online when you are paying her to do it. Models can at least say the members not tipping are cheap asses, all you can do is wonder if your personality is really that shitty and hope with all your heart there was some other problem they would not talk to you about.

 

[skiphop90]

I'd say having something you created rejected and having your looks and personality rejected are two entirely different things.

 

[Littlegringo]

I'd say having something you created rejected and having your looks and personality rejected are two entirely different things.

The point I was trying to make wasn't that my profession is worse than yours or anything like that, it was that people in so many different positions in life do get their self esteem crushed into the ground. Whether you're a cam model facing your set of problems, a guy who every pretty girl laughed at and wouldn't even take a second to talk to, or a person being harassed by his/her employer or abused by a spouse, when that person breaks down and cries, feeling worthless, sometimes feeling like they would be better off dead, my opinion on who's situation was worse doesn't seem to matter. When people are at rock bottom, they're all equal, regardless of how they got there.

 

[Nordling]

I'd say having something you created rejected and having your looks and personality rejected are two entirely different things.

Different, yes, but "entirely?" I'd say no. When a person creates something, it's often an extension of that person, at least emotionally.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you.

That was exactly my point actually. Only getting rejected by a girl when you offer her a date isn't how you earn a living and you likely don't deal with that feeling every day.

:thumbleft: Thanks for agreeing with me even if you didn't realize it.

 

[Littlegringo]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you.

That was exactly my point actually. Only getting rejected by a girl when you offer her a date isn't how you earn a living and you likely don't deal with that feeling every day.

:thumbleft: Thanks for agreeing with me even if you didn't realize it.

I shouldn't even have mentioned it because as I said, it wasn't the point I was making. All it served to do was distract from the actual point. I'm not competing by mentioning anything I've faced, I'm trying to stress that whether you're a cam model feeling despair, a guy or girl who feels they have no self worth because of how other people have treated them (you don't have to be a cam model for that), or anyone else experiencing those types of feelings, there is no competition about who had it worse, at least not in my view. Over the years I've seen various people attempt to take their lives, or at least be teetering on the edge of doing so, and comparing who had it worse just isn't something I could do.

Don't think I have less respect for any of the hardships you face in your cam careers, I just won't minimize the respect I have for what other people have faced in other jobs and situations.

 

[Pant222]

I'd say having something you created rejected and having your looks and personality rejected are two entirely different things.

You should see my drivers license photo lol

 

[Anonymous]

You should see my drivers license photo lol

 

[RedHerby1]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you.

That was exactly my point actually. Only getting rejected by a girl when you offer her a date isn't how you earn a living and you likely don't deal with that feeling every day.

Doing a post on ACF while thinking you are very funny and then a day later, nobody did respond and nobody did a Thanks, that feeling maybe ?

 

[mynameisbob84]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you.

That was exactly my point actually. Only getting rejected by a girl when you offer her a date isn't how you earn a living and you likely don't deal with that feeling every day.

Doing a post on ACF while thinking you are very funny and then a day later, nobody did respond and nobody did a Thanks, that feeling maybe ?

Um, I don't know that a post not being thanked is really comparable to the things being discussed, yo :?

 

[skiphop90]

It does happen, it can happen, it might happen.

What's the worse that can come of it all? As long as you don't do anything stupid, see where it goes and keep a level head. Good luck.

 

[RedHerby1]

I can also say that as a freelance designer who is self employed you do have a better idea than most but I was not directing my post to the very small percent of freelance artists in the world. Having your website declined is still not the same as having your penis declined but I get what your saying.

Every time a girl turns down a guy asking to buy her a coffee or take her for a nice dinner, our penis is being declined. It feels great to know that even when paying for everything, you must suck so bad that the girl wouldn't want to have to spend an hour talking with you.

That was exactly my point actually. Only getting rejected by a girl when you offer her a date isn't how you earn a living and you likely don't deal with that feeling every day.

Doing a post on ACF while thinking you are very funny and then a day later, nobody did respond and nobody did a Thanks, that feeling maybe ?

Um, I don't know that a post not being thanked is really comparable to the things being discussed, yo :?

WTF !!!, Nordling thanks this post and not mine ??? Do I mean nothing here ????

 

[mynameisbob84]

WTF !!!, Nordling thanks this post and not mine ??? Do I mean nothing here ????[/b]

Is red font the sarcasm font? Please tell me it is :-D

 

[Shaun__]

WTF !!!, Nordling thanks this post and not mine ??? Do I mean nothing here ????

Your posts make me laugh all the time, because I always picture your avatar saying what you type.

 

[Nordling]

WTF !!!, Nordling thanks this post and not mine ??? Do I mean nothing here ????

Your posts make me laugh all the time, because I always picture your avatar saying what you type.

Ha ha! If I'd thanked Red's post, the entire universe would have collapsed!

 

[Anonymous]

This thread just got even weirder than it already was. :lol:

 

[Pant222]

You should see my drivers license photo lol

Dayummm girllll!! And to think I was just about to take you pvt!!

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'd take ODB pvt anyday!

 

[mynameisbob84]

I almost re-bought that album just so I could get the replica ID card that comes with the deluxe edition. But at £35 I couldn't justify it. I never get ID'd these days 'cos I look about 50. But if I did... and I pulled that out my wallet... man, I'd be so fucking cool... :-D

 

[JickyJuly]

I do believe the difference is when you're selling something and being rejected, you can still blame it on the customers not wanting the product. When you yourself ARE the product, there's nothing else to blame.

As Jolene said, we don't expect you to understand unless you've been in our exact situation.

Edit to add: Yes I have been in a sales position. I know it's still extremely disappointing when you don't succeed in getting a new client. So I can say I've been in both shoes.

I understand what you're saying. The reason I compared situations was, as I said, when I meet with people the product has already sold itself, they know the price range, they like my work or they wouldn't meet with me. At that point, it is ME, not my design skill that is making or breaking whether they use me. I've been in other sales positions where I had to sell the product, not myself, and it was quite a different experience than the situations I face now. Both situations suck if you don't get the client, but in the other sales jobs I never felt like I was the part of the equation that failed, but now I sure as hell do feel that way when I meet with someone and they go from practically a "GO" to "no thanks". It wasn't the product then, it was me.

If you start going to your meetings naked, it will be the same. :lol:

 

[JoleneBrody]

I just have to say something and then i am seriously stepping away.
Unless you have been sex worker you have no idea what it feels like to be a sex worker, that's it. no point in arguing something you DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED!
Also keep in mind that as models MOST of us have worked many other jobs in the past so we are speaking from real experience from both sex worker and non sex worker perspectives.

We are in no way saying that other peoples struggles are not struggles, all we are saying is that it's not quite the same. The emotions just aren't the same even though any feeling of rejection sucks.

 

[AmberCutie]

And on that note, since this thread has gotten weird, silly-argumentative, and worn out, here come's the lock. :thumbleft: