Got banned from a model's room for...

[sponkel]

...well she said I was "dangerous" and that I might cause her pain moving forward.
Some context, I've been talking to this model for about 3 days now, got into PMs and just made conversation with her, flirting here and there, making her laugh. I normally do that because it's just awkward to talk about pussy, and dick getting into pussy, licking ass, etc. It's awkward and boring. So i do that, and it's pretty fun. She's a pretty cool girl and just takes the jokes in stride. I have to admit that she's probably the most fun conversation I've ever had on a cam site. so on the third day we just pm as usual and it's the usual jokes and flirting and stuff, and she asks me if I'm in love with her, I didn't know what to say so I just say "i don't know, I'm not sure". Like an asshole I take her to private and she continues the conversation there, asking me the same. I reply the same and say "I don't know, maybe" aaaaaand I ask her back, and she dodges the question like all girls do with "what do you think?"
I say "I think you're just being nice to me", she laughs it off and tells me that she's been pm'ing with me for over an hour, and ignoring the rest etc etc. This goes on for a good 20-30 minutes. and eventually we somehow started the private thing. she says "no kissing, kissing is for love", i laugh it off and say "of course". It was getting really good, we were both really into it in private, and then my browser breaks down and crashes. I scramble to restart, and get back to her room. She eventually comes back but kinda has a different demeanor, like she's sadder now, I restart the private, but she tells me she doesn't want to continue and then ends it. I PM asking her why. That's when she hit me with "you're dangerous, and you might cause me pain". we pm back and forth for a bit, she's adamant about me leaving her alone, i didn't want to because she was cool to hang out with and I genuinely have fun talking to her. She asks me if I want to fuck, I say no because the vibe is off now, and then she kicks me out and bans me.

So now i'm sitting here wondering where things got wrong lol. I really do want to be friends with her for reasons I've already mentioned, and I'm fully aware that this will never turn into anything but a cam thing where we flirt and do private stuff. So I don't know. It feels bad that I made her feel bad though, though I'm not really sure why, because I think she also knows that nothing will come out of this "thing" that we have, if you can even call it that. I'm the same way with other models, I just talk to her longer about non-sex stuff because it's fun and we vibe together. It just sucks losing someone you find cool to be with.

So is this normal? Do i stop being all jokey and flirty with other models? (I don't ask about personal stuff, if they initiate that's fine - had one model asking me to give her money for her grandma, fuck outta here with that shit, but I generally don't ask, because I'm fully aware of what this thing is. And I'm the same way with real life adult workers.)

 

[inertvolcano]

she's adamant about me leaving her alone, i didn't want to

You asked where you went wrong. This is where. She drew a line and you didn't respect it because you didn't want to. Next time someone tells you to leave them alone, you leave them alone.

As for whether it's normal, I'd say it's not unusual that if you try to befriend models instead of just paying them for the services they're offering, some will get uncomfortable.

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

I'm wondering why you aren't having fun on cam, respecting the provider, why all the PMs?

 

[misterical]

You need to clarify this post. I can't make out if you want to be in love with her, don't want to be in love with her, want to go private, feel like an asshole for going private or what. It's very hard to provid a response when the initial question looks like a dropped tin of Alphabetti Spaghetti.

 

[rockin_rod]

You got banned. Move on.
And just be yourself in the next room.
Assuming of course you're there for transactional fun, if not, try a dating app/site.

 

[sponkel]

You asked where you went wrong. This is where. She drew a line and you didn't respect it because you didn't want to. Next time someone tells you to leave them alone, you leave them alone.

As for whether it's normal, I'd say it's not unusual that if you try to befriend models instead of just paying them for the services they're offering, some will get uncomfortable.

Yeah I guess it was a kneejerk kinda response, because it really took me by surprise, and I just wanted to get clarity.
I don't go on cam sites to befriend models, I just try and make things comfortable so it's not awkward, I've always found that being friendly is the best way and not going all bobs and vagene right off the bat.

 

[sponkel]

I'm wondering why you aren't having fun on cam, respecting the provider, why all the PMs

I don't understand, why all the PMs after? like i told the first guy, it was a knee jerk reaction because I wanted to know if i did something bad. I don't particularly like the feeling of being an inadvertent asshole to people.

If you were asking why all the PMs before that, she PM'd me first.

 

[sponkel]

You need to clarify this post. I can't make out if you want to be in love with her, don't want to be in love with her, want to go private, feel like an asshole for going private or what. It's very hard to provid a response when the initial question looks like a dropped tin of Alphabetti Spaghetti.

uh

I don't want to fall in love with her. I still want to go private, but that fell through because she became really upset at me. and yeah I feel like an asshole for making her feel like that, and not knowing exactly what I did.

 

[sponkel]

You got banned. Move on.
And just be yourself in the next room.
Assuming of course you're there for transactional fun, if not, try a dating app/site.

lol but that is how I am, even with other models who PM me. She was the only that got upset though, so I don't know.

 

[misterical]

uh

I don't want to fall in love with her. I still want to go private, but that fell through because she became really upset at me. and yeah I feel like an asshole for making her feel like that, and not knowing exactly what I did.

If she doesn't want you to be there then you can't be there. End of story. Move on. You've known her for three days. This isn't Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

 

[sponkel]

If she doesn't want you to be there then you can't be there. End of story. Move on. You've known her for three days. This isn't Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

yeah i get that. but why ban me though? I'm just curious if the reason is something I should be aware of when interacting with other models. Flirting not okay? Is there a line?

 

[misterical]

yeah i get that. but why ban me though? I'm just curious if the reason is something I should be aware of when interacting with other models. Flirting not okay? Is there a line?

Could be any reason, but mainly because she is entitled to and you are not entitled to an explanation.

If I could hazard a guess, reading between the lines, you PM'd her continuously for over an hour before going private. That private was then cut short. From her end it probably looked like you had finished and left without saying anything. That probably annoyed her, and likely even more so if the private was relatively short timewise.

She's known you for 3 days so she probably didn't feel that she needed to grant you the right to explain yourself. She's the boss here. Suck it up and move on I guess.

 

[sponkel]

If I could hazard a guess, reading between the lines, you PM'd her continuously for over an hour before going private. That private was then cut short. From her end it probably looked like you had finished and left without saying anything. That probably annoyed her, and likely even more so if the private was relatively short timewise.

The private was long, well longer than the last one, about 40-45 minutes (not really sure because I just kept topping up), most of that was spent just talking too. But I get that she most likely got annoyed that it got cut short and took it the wrong way.

 

[misterical]

The private was long, well longer than the last one, about 40-45 minutes (not really sure because I just kept topping up), most of that was spent just talking too. But I get that she most likely got annoyed that it got cut short and took it the wrong way.

Well, others might disagree but 40-45 minutes isn't exactly short. Maybe she just doesn't want you around for whatever reason. It's her call. You've known her a matter of hours and you are posting here for advice. Maybe she recognised that level of intensity and calculated exactly how much more intense you'd be in a month's time.

 

[sponkel]

Well, others might disagree but 40-45 minutes isn't exactly short. Maybe she just doesn't want you around for whatever reason. It's her call. You've known her a matter of hours and you are posting here for advice. Maybe she recognised that level of intensity and calculated exactly how much more intense you'd be in a month's time.

it's short in terms of sex stuff that was probably about just 3-5 minutes of the entire thing, but yeah it was long for a private.

So maybe less intense next time, gotcha.

 

[yummybrownfox]

yeah i get that. but why ban me though? I'm just curious if the reason is something I should be aware of when interacting with other models. Flirting not okay? Is there a line?

Hi. You said that the model was the one initiating PM conversations, and you went with it. So I understand that. When she asked you if you're in love with her...I'm not sure if that's because you were giving her "I'm in love" vibes that was making her uncomfortable...or if she was kidding...or if she was playing mind games with you to get you to spend more money on her. No idea. But her coming back with a totally different demeanor, saying you are "dangerous, and might cause her pain" is definitely a confusing, weird change of events. When she asked if you're in love with her, that made shit weird...and you probably made it weird too by responding "I don't know...maybe." You probably should've just told her you like her and think she's cool, but you're on here for fun virtual chat ONLY. It'd be nice if members and models could both just do what they intend to do on cam sites...without the topic of love being brought up, and making shit weird.

I'm sorry you got banned from a room that you'd really enjoyed. It sounds like you're a cool dude who didn't mean any harm and didn't expect this. I'm also confused on why the private show was ended, and why you were banned. That is...if you're telling us the whole story, and not leaving out important details. For whatever reason...the model doesn't want you in her room anymore. So it's something you'll have to accept, even though you're confused.

There are plenty of other models you can check out. But if they start PMing you weird stuff about love and whatnot, kindly let them know that you're just on there to enjoy some pleasant, virtual only chat with a cool model, and that you're more comfortable talking in the public chat or in a private show (if that's what you prefer).

 

[yummybrownfox]

Do i stop being all jokey and flirty with other models? (I don't ask about personal stuff, if they initiate that's fine - had one model asking me to give her money for her grandma, fuck outta here with that shit, but I generally don't ask, because I'm fully aware of what this thing is. And I'm the same way with real life adult workers.)

No, with other models you should continue to be you...joke and flirt (This is especially welcomed and appreciated on token sites), and TIP and/or GO PRIVATE. I love members like that.

 

[BlackWizard]

Hi. You said that the model was the one initiating PM conversations, and you went with it. So I understand that. When she asked you if you're in love with her...I'm not sure if that's because you were giving her "I'm in love" vibes that was making her uncomfortable...or if she was kidding...or if she was playing mind games with you to get you to spend more money on her. No idea. But her coming back with a totally different demeanor, saying you are "dangerous, and might cause her pain" is definitely a confusing, weird change of events. When she asked if you're in love with her, that made shit weird...and you probably made it weird too by responding "I don't know...maybe." You probably should've just told her you like her and think she's cool, but you're on here for fun virtual chat ONLY. It'd be nice if members and models could both just do what they intend to do on cam sites...without the topic of love being brought up, and making shit weird.

I'm sorry you got banned from a room that you'd really enjoyed. It sounds like you're a cool dude who didn't mean any harm and didn't expect this. I'm also confused on why the private show was ended, and why you were banned. That is...if you're telling us the whole story, and not leaving out important details. For whatever reason...the model doesn't want you in her room anymore. So it's something you'll have to accept, even though you're confused.

There are plenty of other models you can check out. But if they start PMing you weird stuff about love and whatnot, kindly let them know that you're just on there to enjoy some pleasant, virtual only chat with a cool model, and that you're more comfortable talking in the public chat or in a private show (if that's what you prefer).

This is similar of what i wanted to write here but i was scared that everybody will crucify me here for standing on visitor side ;D I noticed on this forum that no matter what - always visitors are bad and camgirls are cool. Looks like not only me understand this man, because yes - he can be confused and yes- she was the one who started this situation with asking if he is in love with her. And wanting to know what happened and trying clarify situation is not crossing the line ,but treating model like a human and also being human who just feel bad because other person could feel bad too.

 

[Smoothie]

I won’t ask for more details (that’s your business) but feel like there might be more clues as to when/how the mood changed if we knew the whole conversation string and other details (such as how quickly and steeply your tipping escalated and whether that happened around the time you made a particular joke).

Some guys joke and flirt saying things they don’t mean - like for example, marriage proposals, fantasy visits to see her, etc - that could be just flirting, but could also freak someone out if they’re not convinced you’re joking. Or when she asked if you were in love with her, she was more concerned about it than you may have realized, and your response made it worse. Something compelled her to try to find out if you were in love, though.

You might have just read the room wrong, in terms of how cool that model would be with a particular type of flirting/level of PMing.

Whatever it was, your response to the love question almost certainly didn’t help (and I think you might realize that, as it was the detail you focused on in your post). Bottom line is she has now drawn a line. Reason or no reason, it’s time to respect it.

 

[yummybrownfox]

This is similar of what i wanted to write here but i was scared that everybody will crucify me here for standing on visitor side ;D I noticed on this forum that no matter what - always visitors are bad and camgirls are cool. Looks like not only me understand this man, because yes - he can be confused and yes- she was the one who started this situation with asking if he is in love with her. And wanting to know what happened and trying clarify situation is not crossing the line ,but treating model like a human and also being human who just feel bad because other person could feel bad too.

At first I clicked on this thinking it'd be a story about another guy being a jerk to a model. But after reading his posts, I don't feel that's the case...and he will probably become a very well-liked member in other models' rooms. Since he actually likes to chat, make a model laugh, and he spends money.

 

[MarieElise]

lol but that is how I am, even with other models who PM me. She was the only that got upset though, so I don't know.

There are lots of Hobby wankers around, and beginners who haven't set boundaries, and make shite money I don't think it's fair to compare.
Good for her for setting boundaries that make her comfortable, in her place of work, and her room.

lol but that is how I am, even with other models who PM me. She was the only that got upset though, so I don't know.

So? Not all humans are the same and like the same things. Just like all models aren't one person., and all women aren't the same. Approach each room individually like you are dealing w an individual person, don't try to make generalizations, or lump all models together. From the initial story sounds like you kinda wasted her time, even without meaning to, and took her away from the rest of the room w little/ small tokens gained for her. She's probably used to making more, and cultivates Members hanging around who spend a little bit more Not personal. Just business.

 

[Maxi]

OP, perhaps by asking you if you were in love with her it was a bit of a boundary check for the model?

I don’t know, but if she spotted a red flag or two then that’s her business to stop the convo and it’s time to move on.

Best advice I can give you is just be yourself, tip for the entertainment and read the room as best you can.

 

[misterical]

shite money

I love that you use the word "shite". It's so much better than just plain old "shit".

 

[MarieElise]

I love that you use the word "shite". It's so much better than just plain old "shit".

I grew up in Scotland. I don't want OP to feel bad, I just read his post from my perspective and thought "Oh wow, he came on a little strong". That combined w the timing of the internet snaffu, would have me kinda wanting him out of my room too. But I'm a kind of "little is less" person.

In my individual case, as a model, this would sum up exactly what I'd be thinking in that situation...

Maybe she recognised that level of intensity and calculated exactly how much more intense you'd be in a month's time.

 

[misterical]

In my individual case, as a model, this would sum up exactly what I'd be thinking in that situation...

My thoughts exactly. A couple of hours chatting and one private and on here wondering how to repair the broken relationship. A wee bitty intense. I'm sure you've all been on the receiving end of those kind of super intense guys before.

 

[Danigirl]

This is similar of what i wanted to write here but i was scared that everybody will crucify me here for standing on visitor side ;D I noticed on this forum that no matter what - always visitors are bad and camgirls are cool. Looks like not only me understand this man, because yes - he can be confused and yes- she was the one who started this situation with asking if he is in love with her. And wanting to know what happened and trying clarify situation is not crossing the line ,but treating model like a human and also being human who just feel bad because other person could feel bad too.

There's a lot of times that models here on the forum are completely against another model in the thread scenarios. Especially when we think they're scamming members and pulling love cons. That gives our industry a terrible stigma and I hate cons. This model was weird as shite (haha I love the word shite too) and while I don't know the whole exact thread convo, I'm definitely leaning that OP just caught the model at a weird time or the model interpreted something wrong etc instead of him actually doing something inappropriate on his end. Pulling the whole "love" thing is creepy. I do have some members that I genuinely care about but we even phrase it as luv vs love because we know boundaries.

OP, sorry the model you befriended went cuckoo. I can absolutely say that I do have a member that likes privates and loses his internet or randomly leaves constantly and I absolutely hate it. Half the time he comes right back but I've refused privates for months from him due to it. The time spent waiting to see if he reboots and wants to start another private just to not have him come back on costs me money. Not sure if this is what caused her to flip shit but it is annoying. If it was a one off scenario, don't worry about it.

 

[AmberCutie]

I do have some members that I genuinely care about but we even phrase it as luv vs love because we know boundaries.

Same here! Dedicated Amberlanders know that luv is not the same love we have for family members and personal IRL friends/lovers.

 

[Danigirl]

Same here! Dedicated Amberlanders know that luv is not the same love we have for family members and personal IRL friends/lovers.

Yup! I fully admit I was skeptical a couple years ago on here about how much models could really care about members without crossing lines etc but then I do have several that I sincerely care about and wonder if they're ok when I don't see their usernames on when they usually are on and I know tornadoes went through their area etc.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

My thoughts exactly. A couple of hours chatting and one private and on here wondering how to repair the broken relationship. A wee bitty intense. I'm sure you've all been on the receiving end of those kind of super intense guys before.

Rich coming from you given your first thread on here.. lol

 

[Lilly_____]

To me you don't seem like a disrespectful client. You tried to break the ice with jokes and flirting, had a nice chat and took her private, it's all pretty normal.

I think yummy put this really well already - she might be playing mind games or just reassuring herself that you're not actually falling for her.

We can't see what you actually said to her but from your writing here you do sound like a reasonable person so I'd say take a look around the camsite you like and you're sure to find a model who clicks better with you.