Dating a cam-girl advice?

[NoelleBright]

Thank you for taking the high road, Amber. Even though the OP did bring this up before (as a search revealed), the other participants' responses (models and pervs alike) have been, on the whole, callow.

He got a ton of really insightful advice in his last thread, which was literally about the same exact topic.
I'm not sure why some people seem to think that we need to wrap everything we say up in pretty pink paper and then stick a bow on top of it, but whatever.

Be nice, models.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
This in particular really cracked me up

 

[Sevrin]

 

[Jessi]

[...]Jealousy is about fear--fear of the unknown and of change, fear of losing power or control in a relationship, fear of scarcity and of loss, and fear of abandonment. It is a reflection of our own insecurity about our worthiness[...]

For every jealous feeling there is an emotion behind the jealousy that is much more significant than the jealousy itself. Behind jealousy there is an unmet need or a deep fear that our needs will not be met. Recognizing those fears and unmet needs is the key to unmasking jealousy and taking away its power. Jealousy is just the finger pointing at the fears and needs we are afraid to face. When jealousy kicks in, it is the ancient reptilian part of our brain going into a "fight or flight" response because we feel that our very survival is threatened. When you feel jealous, ask yourself, "What is it that I am really afraid of? What do I need to make this situation safe for me?" "What is the worst thing that could happen and how likely is that to happen?"

Its from an essay on open relationships, but I think that it can apply to jealously in general or camming: http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/poly ... lousy.html

Other men looking at your interest (a woman you have never actually met) bothers you immensely. Whether she's on cam or not, other people will desire her. She will find people other than you attractive. Its a fact of life. A camgirl is LESS LIKELY to hook up with one of her regulars, than say for example a co worker in an office. Whats to stop her from falling head over heels for someone in the grocery lineup, or out walking the dog? If you think that her accepting money to shake her tits around makes that more likely to happen, you're naive.

You are not "bad" for feeling how you do, because you can't help it. But from what you write, the amount of insecurity and jealously you feel is affecting your life and overall mental health. Please seek professional help for your feelings. You will never be happy in a relationship until you are deal with whatever it is inside yourself that makes you feel this way.

 

[marvelb0y]

I think what can be safely assumed from these two threads is that this girl is clearly above his league in terms of looks. This is why this incessant obsession with her despite the fact he doesn't approve of almost everything she does in life. This is also why all the advice for him to go find a girl in his real life won't work. In his mind, he is thinking, how can I land a girl like her if I had to meet them in real life?

 

[Sevrin]

I think what can be safely assumed from these two threads is that this girl is clearly above his league in terms of looks. This is why this incessant obsession with her despite the fact he doesn't approve of almost everything she does in life. This is also why all the advice for him to go find a girl in his real life won't work. In his mind, he is thinking, how can I land a girl like her if I had to meet them in real life?

They did not meet on a cam site.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think what can be safely assumed from these two threads is that this girl is clearly above his league in terms of looks. This is why this incessant obsession with her despite the fact he doesn't approve of almost everything she does in life. This is also why all the advice for him to go find a girl in his real life won't work. In his mind, he is thinking, how can I land a girl like her if I had to meet them in real life?

They did not meet on a cam site.

He didn't say anywhere in his post he thought they did... just that he thinks she's probably way out of his league, which is quite possibly true. If she's a fairly successful Romanian model chances are she is very good looking, or at least above average looking with a high level of good grooming, which is something a lot of Romanian girls put more effort into than british girls.
A regular english bloke... he's probably decent looking, but quite likely not the kind of guy who girls like her might go for. Though that could all be totally wrong.

 

[zippypinhead]

he's probably decent looking, but quite likely not the kind of guy who girls like her might go for. Though that could all be totally wrong.

You'd probably be pretty surprised, actually. I look like Jabba the Hutt, and yet, I've had the greatest romantic success in my life with incredibly attractive Central/Eastern European women, Romanians in particular. It's a different attitude from Western European and American women.

Edit to add: Rooster's problem is his insecurity, which may come from her being gorgeous, but that's likely all in his head.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

he's probably decent looking, but quite likely not the kind of guy who girls like her might go for. Though that could all be totally wrong.

You'd probably be pretty surprised, actually. I look like Jabba the Hutt, and yet, I've had the greatest romantic success in my life with incredibly attractive Central/Eastern European women, Romanians in particular. It's a different attitude from Western European and American women.

Edit to add: Rooster's problem is his insecurity, which may come from her being gorgeous, but that's likely all in his head.

But is that online romantic success or offline? For him it's online, he's already said he's poor, he has a pretty rubbish personality, that's clear, he's clearly not clever, selfless or kind, so I'm going to assume that he has some sort of looks going for him, or at least he looks ok over his webcam. I know quite a few central/eastern european friends, although you may have attracted girls with a different attitude, it doesn't mean all their attitudes are different. I know men from those countries moan a lot that women from those countries only go for guys with money, none of my friends are like that, they go for guys the exact same reasons anyone I know in the UK might go for a guy. I also know lots of pretty girls in the UK who have gone out with very unattractive looking dudes, including myself. Well done for you having success with women from those countries, but I think it'd probably have more to do with perhaps the confidence boost thinking you could get with those women, probably something in your life/personality that particularly attracts women of those types, rather than it being an "eastern european women aren't shallow!" because that's just not true. Plenty of eastern european women are very shallow, like they can be from everywhere in the world. You cannot judge whole area's from your own personal experiences with a few people, this goes for both good things and bad.

 

[Misono]

A larger man evidently has a lot of money, as he's able to spend it on food. Money = attractive, hence larger men do well? Or something to that extent..

 

[zippypinhead]

he's probably decent looking, but quite likely not the kind of guy who girls like her might go for. Though that could all be totally wrong.

You'd probably be pretty surprised, actually. I look like Jabba the Hutt, and yet, I've had the greatest romantic success in my life with incredibly attractive Central/Eastern European women, Romanians in particular. It's a different attitude from Western European and American women.

Edit to add: Rooster's problem is his insecurity, which may come from her being gorgeous, but that's likely all in his head.

But is that online romantic success or offline? For him it's online, he's already said he's poor, he has a pretty rubbish personality, that's clear, he's clearly not clever, selfless or kind, so I'm going to assume that he has some sort of looks going for him, or at least he looks ok over his webcam. I know quite a few central/eastern european friends, although you may have attracted girls with a different attitude, it doesn't mean all their attitudes are different. I know men from those countries moan a lot that women from those countries only go for guys with money, none of my friends are like that, they go for guys the exact same reasons anyone I know in the UK might go for a guy. I also know lots of pretty girls in the UK who have gone out with very unattractive looking dudes, including myself. Well done for you having success with women from those countries, but I think it'd probably have more to do with perhaps the confidence boost thinking you could get with those women, probably something in your life/personality that particularly attracts women of those types, rather than it being an "eastern european women aren't shallow!" because that's just not true. Plenty of eastern european women are very shallow, like they can be from everywhere in the world. You cannot judge whole area's from your own personal experiences with a few people, this goes for both good things and bad.

In the past, we have discussed and established that there are apparent behavioral differences that manifest themselves in the way that Eastern European models tend to interact w/ men on cam. I'm simply pointing out that such behavior carries over into the real world, as well. I'm not saying that Eastern European women are less shallow than Western European or American women.That would be silly. I'm just saying that whatever cultural differences there are that lead them to act differently toward men has worked in my favor, despite my lackluster looks and generally empty wallet. I can't claim the same success rate among Western European or American women, and it's not for a lack of attempts.

 

[LittleRooster]

I would like to say sorry for wasting everyone's time. Reading back on this and the other thread makes me cringe and to think that it was only a month or two ago embarrasses me! I don't think anyone will care (why should you?) but i will tell you what happened anyway to try and get back a little integrity for myself

I have not spoken to her for about a month (a couple of days before my last reply), and although that is not such a long time, things have changed. I realize now that this relationship was not real and that i was too involved with someone who just wanted some fun and nothing serious, and someone i had never even met! I kind of gave her an ultimatum of sorts, but i did not ask her anything if you know what i mean. She told me that she was going to stop being a cam girl and get a regular job next year and that she was going to just work a basic schedule until then, and i naively believed it. But she then went on to do some other things (that i don't really want to say because it might reveal her identity) that she knew i was not comfortable with and did not tell me. It was then that i realized that she had lied and she didn't care, but it didn't upset me because i knew the truth and if that was how she felt, then so be it.

I told her that i wasn't comfortable with her being a cam girl and now i was even more uncomfortable so it was best if we didn't talk again. She accepted what i said and we haven't spoken since. I do not know if she has tried to contact me as i have blocked her completely from my life.

Of course there are times when i want to speak to her, after all it's only been a month i'm not completely over it, but i can feel my life beginning again and i no longer have the stress of her job weighing me down. I do not like camming and i do not like porn, i just don't understand it. Do i think differently of those who do it? Partly yes, partly no... but i am young and maybe do not understand properly. Although i do believe that as long as you are not hurting anyone, feel free to do what you want. It is a very difficult profession because it is a freedom yes, a girl can make great money and have her own working hours and not have any risks because you are in the comfort of your own home, so in that respect i have nothing wrong with the job. But from my point of view i would not like to have a girlfriend that was a cam girl. That is just me and how i feel. Does it make either of us wrong? I don't think so.

I hope this was a learning curve for me and i will stop being so naive in the future. I do not hate her or dislike , but we are two different people with very different lives and beliefs, and that is it. My mistake was trying to change someone into something they wasn't. I have also started taking medication for my bipolar and although i have some bad days, on the whole i am feeling much better

I wrote this reply for myself to make myself feel better and again i'm sorry for all the drama i have caused and i guess i have made some of you annoyed and given some a good laugh at my expense! Best of luck in the future and thank you for the advice and kick up the ass i needed.

:handgestures-salute:

 

[CharlotteLace]

I hope this was a learning curve for me and i will stop being so naive in the future. I do not hate her or dislike , but we are two different people with very different lives and beliefs, and that is it. My mistake was trying to change someone into something they wasn't. I have also started taking medication for my bipolar and although i have some bad days, on the whole i am feeling much better

Sometimes it's difficult to really grasp hard lessons the first time around. It's wonderful you've realized what works best for you, even if that means not being with her. Some people take much, much longer to realize what they have isn't right for them. Glad you're doing better now! :handgestures-salute:

 

[Roseloveli]

Girls who are open minded enough to get naked on the internet deserve to date/marry/be with a partner who is open minded enough to understand it.

Selfish and closed-minded folks should not lust after open-minded folks unless they are ready to open themselves up a little bit.

I don't think you're ready.

To answer your question:

So, what i want to know is, for those of you who do have husbands or boyfriends, do you have any rules or mutual agreements regarding your job? And where do you draw the line and consider that a major hindrance to your job? Do you communicate with your loved ones and discuss your work or do you keep home life and work separate?

Rules: don't tell my members every single detail of our personal life (we deserve some privacy), and don't go falling in love with anyone. Dur. On weekends and days off of cam, I make sure to not spend every waking minute following up with cam stuff. We spend off-time together and pay attention to each other.

Hindrance? No, it's pretty easy. I make friends but keep within boundaries.

Communication: we talk about EVERYTHING. He knows my regular members names and a little about them, I even pass on jokes that they've told me. He helps me plan out my special shows and events. We're partners and best friends, it just works out.

Well, I guess I am kinda screwed...I found this site after I got married....Being married young, I did not really explore the world and what I like or what makes me happy (other then my husband)...I have became pretty open minded this past year, and now my husband is very upset...He is not an open minded person like I have started to become.
So, I will either have to quit all of this and keep my open-mindedness in my head, or still do it and risk what little I still have from my marriage.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for that advice Amber!

 

[pg240]

Girls who are open minded enough to get naked on the internet deserve to date/marry/be with a partner who is open minded enough to understand it.

Selfish and closed-minded folks should not lust after open-minded folks unless they are ready to open themselves up a little bit.

I don't think you're ready.

To answer your question:

So, what i want to know is, for those of you who do have husbands or boyfriends, do you have any rules or mutual agreements regarding your job? And where do you draw the line and consider that a major hindrance to your job? Do you communicate with your loved ones and discuss your work or do you keep home life and work separate?

Rules: don't tell my members every single detail of our personal life (we deserve some privacy), and don't go falling in love with anyone. Dur. On weekends and days off of cam, I make sure to not spend every waking minute following up with cam stuff. We spend off-time together and pay attention to each other.

Hindrance? No, it's pretty easy. I make friends but keep within boundaries.

Communication: we talk about EVERYTHING. He knows my regular members names and a little about them, I even pass on jokes that they've told me. He helps me plan out my special shows and events. We're partners and best friends, it just works out.

Well, I guess I am kinda screwed...I found this site after I got married....Being married young, I did not really explore the world and what I like or what makes me happy (other then my husband)...I have became pretty open minded this past year, and now my husband is very upset...He is not an open minded person like I have started to become.
So, I will either have to quit all of this and keep my open-mindedness in my head, or still do it and risk what little I still have from my marriage.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for that advice Amber!

Don't keep that open-mindedness in your head! That's no basis for a relationship. You have to be yourself no matter how you evolve yet still be open to some compromising.

 

[inzhener]

i'm involved with a camgirl and i'm okay with the work and the reason why she does it

the only thing that really bothers me are those pervert assholes who record the shows and post them on the forums.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Well, I guess I am kinda screwed...I found this site after I got married....Being married young, I did not really explore the world and what I like or what makes me happy (other then my husband)...I have became pretty open minded this past year, and now my husband is very upset...He is not an open minded person like I have started to become.
So, I will either have to quit all of this and keep my open-mindedness in my head, or still do it and risk what little I still have from my marriage.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for that advice Amber!

I wouldn't say you're screwed. People can always change, especially if eased into it a bit at a time so it's not too jolting.
I've mentioned this in other threads but does he have a member account here? Let him talk with other people about it on a regular basis and his opinions might begin to change as he sees others discuss it.

If not, well I'd suggest sticking to your marriage. There are always other jobs to be had, but marriages take the real work.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Well, I guess I am kinda screwed...I found this site after I got married....Being married young, I did not really explore the world and what I like or what makes me happy (other then my husband)...I have became pretty open minded this past year, and now my husband is very upset...He is not an open minded person like I have started to become.
So, I will either have to quit all of this and keep my open-mindedness in my head, or still do it and risk what little I still have from my marriage.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for that advice Amber!

I wouldn't say you're screwed. People can always change, especially if eased into it a bit at a time so it's not too jolting.
I've mentioned this in other threads but does he have a member account here? Let him talk with other people about it on a regular basis and his opinions might begin to change as he sees others discuss it.

If not, well I'd suggest sticking to your marriage. There are always other jobs to be had, but marriages take the real work.

It depends on how your marriage is besides the camming. If there are other issues, then those need to be dealt with directly, and decide whether it's worth continuing the relationship. If camming is the only issue, or at least the main issue, then camming really isn't that important, finding a relationship with someone you love that actually works is hard to find and you probably wouldn't find it again. People do change in relationships, but there are other ways to open your mind and explore sexuality than camming or doing things your husband is uncomfortable with.
Relationships are about compromise. You decide about that person whether you can overlook things that you don't like so much and if it's worth remaining in the relationship. If your husband feels he cannot overlook you camming then it's your decision whether camming is more important than your relationship. The decision should be made though, it's not fair to string people along, and a relationship isn't about not giving a crap how the other person feels and going along with things anyway.

 

[SarcasticWave]

I think the only issues I have regarding this subject is ....

a) the amount of time a GF spends dedicated to her job...
and
b) Clients that cannot differentiate between her job and their fantasy

I know both can happen in any profession - so I really don't get the thread

from my pointofview ... as long as there is a adequate balance between offcam/oncam and you understand and trust your SO .... what is the issue?

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think the only issues I have regarding this subject is ....

a) the amount of time a GF spends dedicated to her job...
and
b) Clients that cannot differentiate between her job and their fantasy

I know both can happen in any profession - so I really don't get the thread

from my pointofview ... as long as there is a adequate balance between offcam/oncam and you understand and trust your SO .... what is the issue?

I think it also depends on how physical you are. If you're very physically possessive then it'll probably bother you more the idea that a load of dudes who you will never meet have seen your girlfriend naked. Personally I'm more emotionally possessive, so I'd prefer my boyfriend does that than say working a job where he's going to be in physical contact with sexy girls he might actually be attracted to. Though I actually trust him so either wouldn't bother me, but his body is just a body. I don't care if he takes his clothes off at a party or during summer, I don't care if girls are checking him out. I very much enjoy his body, but I would still love him if his personality got transferred into another body.

I strip on cam because it's a job, it's not intimate, I don't get horny for the guys on there, although I will build genuine friendships with them, there's never any worry of anything else happening. If I were to strip for someone in real life (as in not for money) then it'd be a very different story. It's all about intent.

I know some of my friends boyfriends get upset when a guy so much as looks at his girlfriend! I know guys who will have a go at their girlfriend later on because a guy tried speaking to them at a bar.

There's a story I find really funny when I was in a doctor with my boyfriend, obviously wearing a tight strappy top, my boyfriend turned around to me laughing slightly because he kept catching some dude across the waiting room staring at my tits. He thought it was really funny, the dude was totally unthreatening, he was very fat, not very ungroomed and looked like the sort who'd spend a lot of time playing computer games and watching porn (and yes that is stereotyping but you know the sort I mean). So it was quite funny how the dude's eyes were wondering and then he'd realise that my boyfriend was watching him and try and look away. I mean jesus, yes you can control where you stare, but it's a boring waiting room and I have big boobs which were very much on show. If I saw a girl like that I'd be checking them out, so would my boyfriend... perhaps being slightly more subtle though...

I've told this story to a few guys, and they clearly get upset by the idea of a dude looking at someone's girlfriend so obviously when the boyfriend is there. They wouldn't be happy with it. When I turn around and say "well come on, if you saw a girl with massive tits across from you in a waiting room wouldn't you look?" well yes of course they'd look, and no it wouldn't harm anyone. What on earth would they do? Go up to the dude and have a go at him? Make me wear a burka so it doesn't happen again? Yes we can control where we look to a point and we can be more subtle, but really, who the fuck cares? Looking is harmless. I don't particularly like guys leering at me, but so long as they don't make me nervous I don't care.

 

[RandomGuppy]

^^^ Man they think that's bad. One of the most bizarre things I've heard of that's apparently quite common is when a guy is walking in public with an extremely attractive girlfriend, anytime she's not looking other guys either come up and give the boyfriend a thumbs-up or a high-five. I don't know why but that cracks me up for some reason.

 

[marvelb0y]

I think a clear distinction has to be made between dating a cam girl long distance verses one who actually lives with you. In the first case, it's questionable in a lot of cases whether you have a real relationship but let's assume you do. What is the point of getting jealous with what she does on cam when off cam she can be having real sex with guys around her? Any guy who can't appreciate this simple fact and still wants to "control" her on cam behavior should really get his head checked.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think a clear distinction has to be made between dating a cam girl long distance verses one who actually lives with you. In the first case, it's questionable in a lot of cases whether you have a real relationship but let's assume you do. What is the point of getting jealous with what she does on cam when off cam she can be having real sex with guys around her? Any guy who can't appreciate this simple fact and still wants to "control" her on cam behavior should really get his head checked.

Yup pretty much. I know for one that in real life I get very horny. My sex drive is lower when I'm on cam because I cannot see and touch the men beyond the screen. In real life I go through phases and hormonal ups where all I have to do is be in the same proximity as a man and I want to ravage him, not just that but I get all the feelings of when you first meet someone and you kind of fall for them. When the hormones fade I have no idea why on earth I'd ever think like that... Because I work on cam it means when I get these ups I can avoid contact with men.
(I haven't always been like this, it's because in spring I came off some birth control that was messing my body up and they gave me hormones to try and settle it. Since then I also cry in films a lot more...)
If I worked in close contact with other men, hell, they don't even have to be that attractive, but the chances of me cheating or doing something else would be a lot higher than camming. Even though I care about and like a lot of my regulars, they are people to speak to inside my computer, I don't find my computer sexy even though I love it.

I do think guys who date camgirls have less to worry about with actual cheating and feelings developing than guys who date girls who are in other lines of work.

 

[Kittycatpurr]

I think a clear distinction has to be made between dating a cam girl long distance verses one who actually lives with you. In the first case, it's questionable in a lot of cases whether you have a real relationship but let's assume you do. What is the point of getting jealous with what she does on cam when off cam she can be having real sex with guys around her? Any guy who can't appreciate this simple fact and still wants to "control" her on cam behavior should really get his head checked.

Yup pretty much. I know for one that in real life I get very horny. My sex drive is lower when I'm on cam because I cannot see and touch the men beyond the screen. In real life I go through phases and hormonal ups where all I have to do is be in the same proximity as a man and I want to ravage him, not just that but I get all the feelings of when you first meet someone and you kind of fall for them. When the hormones fade I have no idea why on earth I'd ever think like that... Because I work on cam it means when I get these ups I can avoid contact with men.
(I haven't always been like this, it's because in spring I came off some birth control that was messing my body up and they gave me hormones to try and settle it. Since then I also cry in films a lot more...)
If I worked in close contact with other men, hell, they don't even have to be that attractive, but the chances of me cheating or doing something else would be a lot higher than camming. Even though I care about and like a lot of my regulars, they are people to speak to inside my computer, I don't find my computer sexy even though I love it.

I do think guys who date camgirls have less to worry about with actual cheating and feelings developing than guys who date girls who are in other lines of work.

Exactly this. It's a way to explore your sexuality without it leading anywhere, it's also a way to keep my libido at a happy level. The guy that i was with when i first started camming had a strange love/hate relaitonship with it, in that he was the one that suggested I try it when i was looking for a way out of a job that i had grown weary of so he always liked to take credit for starting me on a new path that I am successful at, yet he has the typical issues with porn and his relationship with it and ideas about other men's intentions etc etc that many guys who haven't made peace with themselves seem to have. The result was we had frequent arguments about it yet what he didn't realise was that if I hadn't started camming, our relationship would have ended a lot sooner as i was so sexually frustrated with him because he had real intimacy issues and frequently rejected me sexually.

Many girls that cam have extremely healthy libidos. The fact that they are satisfying those libidos in a non harmful way whilst making money and expressing themselves i can imagine would probaby be a godsend for their SO if they can't quite keep up on the sex front ( not all men spend their whole time obsessing about their cocks, let's face it lol). It takes an emotionally mature man with an open mind to accept that their partner would enjoy doing this as a career and not find any threat from it. I'm very lucky in that my partner is the most laid back, open-minded and emotionally grounded person I have ever met and we talk about everything to do with my work so that he always knows exactly what is going on and never feels excluded from anything. The fact that he allows me to be myself and loves me completely as i am and not for some notion of who he wants me to be means that any possibility that i would ever even consider cheating has been blown out of the water. In my experience cheating happens in relationships where there is something going wrong and one or both partners aren't happy and the issue isn't being addressed and resolved, so one or both partners start looking elsewhere for that thing they think is somehow missing rather than dealing with it properly. The fact that I can be myself, be a camgirl, and have a supportive loving relationship with a guy who understands what i do and doesn't have issue with it means that I would rather cut my own head off than cheat on him.

Anyhow, I'll stop rambling now but I hope that I've managed to put across what I'm trying to say. That if a relationship is good and you both support and respect each other and COMMUNICATE properly, cheating should never be an issue, whether you're a camgirl, an office manager or whatever. If you can't fulfill these essential relationship criteria, equally, it doesn't matter what you do for a living, something is going to come unglued at some point.

 

[LittleRooster]

I do agree with this. After all this is my thread (embarrassingly), and now i have a clear mind i can understand now. Relationships with cam girls rely on two things, acceptance and trust, just like any other relationship. The problems i had were the obvious ones, i did not like other men seeing my girlfriend naked and masturbate. If there had been some leaked pictures of her naked or a couple of topless shoots etc. i don't think i would have had much of a problem. I did not like that other men could pay her and she would pretty much do anything they said, and they would get some false sense of intimacy. I also did not like that she had regulars in her room, it's just me (the thought that these men eagerly anticipate when she will be online and they form friendships with her and they see her very intimately). I know that i said some bad things about camming but i regret that now. It's a fantastic job for those who choose to do it. After coming on here i see that all of the girls are down to earth and genuinely have fun. It's just that a relationship with one is something i would rather not have, because i'm not comfortable with it. I spoke with my best friend and he is very open minded and said he would not have a problem, it's all based on the person.

 

[AmberCutie]

I do agree with this. After all this is my thread (embarrassingly), and now i have a clear mind i can understand now. Relationships with cam girls rely on two things, acceptance and trust, just like any other relationship. The problems i had were the obvious ones, i did not like other men seeing my girlfriend naked and masturbate. If there had been some leaked pictures of her naked or a couple of topless shoots etc. i don't think i would have had much of a problem. I did not like that other men could pay her and she would pretty much do anything they said, and they would get some false sense of intimacy. I also did not like that she had regulars in her room, it's just me (the thought that these men eagerly anticipate when she will be online and they form friendships with her and they see her very intimately). I know that i said some bad things about camming but i regret that now. It's a fantastic job for those who choose to do it. After coming on here i see that all of the girls are down to earth and genuinely have fun. It's just that a relationship with one is something i would rather not have, because i'm not comfortable with it. I spoke with my best friend and he is very open minded and said he would not have a problem, it's all based on the person.

I bolded the part that made me reply. This is very true. In fact, I would say this is probably the hardest part for cam girls' partners to deal with. And I will openly admit that it is the toughest tightrope for me to walk as a married cam girl. I have formed bonds with some of my regulars that I need to be careful not to cross certain boundaries or I would end up hurting some feelings. The connections between a cam girl and her regular are more intimate than most of the sexual acts she'd be performing for money, and that has definitely got to be discussed openly between her and her life partner.

 

[mynameisbob84]

The connections between a cam girl and her regular are more intimate than most of the sexual acts she'd be performing for money, and that has definitely got to be discussed openly between her and her life partner.

I sometimes wonder what the girlfriends/wives of members think about their significant other spending time and money on another woman, albeit one they'll never have any physical contact with. I don't think using cam sites as interactive porn would be particularly hard to tell a partner about. Or even using cam sites to talk to cool naked ladies while throwing them the occassional tip for their time while said partner isn't around.

But trying to explain being in one specific model's room each and every night, tipping them hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars each month... I suspect that's probably a bit trickier to explain without it coming to be an issue.

 

[Just Me]

I do agree with this. After all this is my thread (embarrassingly), and now i have a clear mind i can understand now. Relationships with cam girls rely on two things, acceptance and trust, just like any other relationship. The problems i had were the obvious ones, i did not like other men seeing my girlfriend naked and masturbate. If there had been some leaked pictures of her naked or a couple of topless shoots etc. i don't think i would have had much of a problem. I did not like that other men could pay her and she would pretty much do anything they said, and they would get some false sense of intimacy. I also did not like that she had regulars in her room, it's just me (the thought that these men eagerly anticipate when she will be online and they form friendships with her and they see her very intimately). I know that i said some bad things about camming but i regret that now. It's a fantastic job for those who choose to do it. After coming on here i see that all of the girls are down to earth and genuinely have fun. It's just that a relationship with one is something i would rather not have, because i'm not comfortable with it. I spoke with my best friend and he is very open minded and said he would not have a problem, it's all based on the person.

I bolded the part that made me reply. This is very true. In fact, I would say this is probably the hardest part for cam girls' partners to deal with. And I will openly admit that it is the toughest tightrope for me to walk as a married cam girl. I have formed bonds with some of my regulars that I need to be careful not to cross certain boundaries or I would end up hurting some feelings. The connections between a cam girl and her regular are more intimate than most of the sexual acts she'd be performing for money, and that has definitely got to be discussed openly between her and her life partner.

I certainly agree as well with an added point. It is not really any different than other types of job workplace relationships. Though generally, work relationships do not see you naked, depending on the job. :lol: You have heard of work husbands and wives? While I have never experienced something like that, apparently it is fairly common in the workplace.

In the end it will always come back to trust and open communication.

 

[LittleRooster]

I do agree with this. After all this is my thread (embarrassingly), and now i have a clear mind i can understand now. Relationships with cam girls rely on two things, acceptance and trust, just like any other relationship. The problems i had were the obvious ones, i did not like other men seeing my girlfriend naked and masturbate. If there had been some leaked pictures of her naked or a couple of topless shoots etc. i don't think i would have had much of a problem. I did not like that other men could pay her and she would pretty much do anything they said, and they would get some false sense of intimacy. I also did not like that she had regulars in her room, it's just me (the thought that these men eagerly anticipate when she will be online and they form friendships with her and they see her very intimately). I know that i said some bad things about camming but i regret that now. It's a fantastic job for those who choose to do it. After coming on here i see that all of the girls are down to earth and genuinely have fun. It's just that a relationship with one is something i would rather not have, because i'm not comfortable with it. I spoke with my best friend and he is very open minded and said he would not have a problem, it's all based on the person.

I bolded the part that made me reply. This is very true. In fact, I would say this is probably the hardest part for cam girls' partners to deal with. And I will openly admit that it is the toughest tightrope for me to walk as a married cam girl. I have formed bonds with some of my regulars that I need to be careful not to cross certain boundaries or I would end up hurting some feelings. The connections between a cam girl and her regular are more intimate than most of the sexual acts she'd be performing for money, and that has definitely got to be discussed openly between her and her life partner.

i definitely agree. It's an awkward situation for both model and boyfriend/husband. From my personal experience, the problem for me was that there was between 20-40 known regulars who watched her shows a couple of times a week. Then there was 3-4 regulars who were there every day, but there was one regular who was head over heels in love with her. It was a tough situation for both of us because of course i did not like that another man interacted with her in a sexual environment, saw her naked every day, and saw her, and almost certainly joined in masturbating with her. Although she had no feelings for him, she had led him to believe so, so in many ways they had a relationship of sorts.

The problem for her was that she knew i didn't like it and empathized with me and recognized the strangeness of the situation, but without him she would almost certainly not be a cam girl still, or at least anywhere near how successful she is. Without him she would have a very small income as he gives her tens of thousands of dollars a year, without anything in return. I do understand that it was awkward for her as she is getting money for doing nothing and he will always do it because he is in love with her, but i was very uncomfortable with it.

It takes understanding and real love to be able to deal with that, unfortunately, as you all know, i could not deal with it.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

From my personal experience, the problem for me was that there was between 20-40 known regulars who watched her shows a couple of times a week. Then there was 3-4 regulars who were there every day, but there was one regular who was head over heels in love with her. It was a tough situation for both of us because of course i did not like that another man interacted with her in a sexual environment, saw her naked every day, and saw her, and almost certainly joined in masturbating with her. Although she had no feelings for him, she had led him to believe so, so in many ways they had a relationship of sorts.

I might be weird but this wouldn't bother me at all. I would never really be ok with another dude telling her what to do or buying her stuff but I wouldn't mind the nudity/masturbation or other guys falling for her.

 

[Brad]

The connections between a cam girl and her regular are more intimate than most of the sexual acts she'd be performing for money, and that has definitely got to be discussed openly between her and her life partner.

I sometimes wonder what the girlfriends/wives of members think about their significant other spending time and money on another woman, albeit one they'll never have any physical contact with. I don't think using cam sites as interactive porn would be particularly hard to tell a partner about. Or even using cam sites to talk to cool naked ladies while throwing them the occassional tip for their time while said partner isn't around.

But trying to explain being in one specific model's room each and every night, tipping them hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars each month... I suspect that's probably a bit trickier to explain without it coming to be an issue.

My wife and I both enjoy it. She even follows a few ACF members on Twitter. I wouldn't last long with a prudish wife.
:lol:


She also knows how much I tip and to whom. But I am not a big time tipper so no worries there either. I wouldn't enjoy it if I had to hide it from my wife.
:-D