Ask-a-Fan (Questions models have for viewers)

[basileus]

It’s a tough job @Vixxen81 , some nights can be really tough

For sure I would not be able to do the job of a cam model. My colleagues at work call me often tough, but that's another level. I appreciate you all.

 

[MarieElise]

For sure I would not be able to do the job of a cam model. My colleagues at work call me often tough, but that's another level. I appreciate you all.

The burnout can get really intense. I feel like there’s a burnout cycle. We all just seem to go through it at different speeds.

That’s why I definitely recommend models get into content as well as live. It helps w burnout a lot having a non live option for bringing in money too.

 

[Highlander884]

Boy so much posts to read through.

With tipping yeah I do tip on extra on bdays think it's worth every model to have a "birthday" on cb, there's always extra tips, although don't keep changing your bdays, tippers can count more than 1.

Social media does help know when a girl is online as I'm not on cb all the time and don't like notifications totally get if model don't want to use social media that's fine, certainly don't expect the girl to reply to be on social media all the time.

If it doesn't cost too much I do join onlyfans etc don't do it every month as I can't afford it for every model. Do it myself more for contribution/support do it prefer it to fanclub because model gets more % and also get photos in return. As far as I'm aware every model I follow makes much less with of then camming so not really worth focusing more time on that, just treat it like pocket money.

I always tip so I don't know about visiting girls and not tipping, but I have walked away from a model who got annoyed that I didn't tip her as much as I did the time before and knew a guy who did tip lots like once a week and not again for rest of the week, think that's OK.

Hmm had many many arguments with girls don't expect apologies as sometimes it is me who's out of line would prefer to be silenced rather then kicked out as sometimes it has been a misunderstanding.

 

[yummybrownfox]

@Vixxen81 Its the last time I'll be posting on this thread which is a pity because I think its one of the best ones I saw here. You asked me why I was lying:


I NEVER said I dont tip unless I get something in return. You somehow misunderstood my answer about birthdays and read into it that I don't tip without getting something in return. Wtf!!!
You are really shitting me out of this forum! And your remark/question about my family and friends is outright dispicable.
What is a laundry list in this context?

good bye awesome people!

I didn’t see anything wrong with your posts in this thread, btw. You contributed to the thread with your honesty, and you got (imo) unfairly jumped on. I hope it doesn’t make other members hesitant to post on these topics anymore. I’d totally understand if you don’t feel comfortable posting anymore in this particular thread. But please don’t leave the forum if you enjoy it here.

 

[Vixxen81]

I didn’t see anything wrong with your posts in this thread, btw. You contributed to the thread with your honesty, and you got (imo) unfairly jumped on. I hope it doesn’t make other members hesitant to post on these topics anymore. I’d totally understand if you don’t feel comfortable posting anymore in this particular thread. But please don’t leave the forum if you enjoy it here.

This experience has made me wonder if we should have an AITA thread on here. I was a jerk, I admit it.

 

[Nienna]

For sure I would not be able to do the job of a cam model. My colleagues at work call me often tough, but that's another level. I appreciate you all.

Absolutely. Just reading this forum has given me a whole new respect for models and what they deal with.

 

[Vixxen81]

I really have been thinking about this all day and why I snapped so hard. There was talk of burn out, entitlement, and deserving-ness -- I'm altruistic by nature, if I wasn't just as concerned about their feelings as my own I would be making way more money than I do* but I think I was just trying to say "hey are you all about throwing a bonus at your favorite model because she's your favorite and you see her shine," there are thousands of movies where people blow shit up because they didn't get a bonus or a pat on the back or whatever and I think my breaking point was like, the automatic no I don't think about or consider those things when we juggle so many things and so many personalities and so many wants and taunts to break terms of service and deal with marriage proposals and get told we won't be tipped again when we don't meet a very specific niche or fantasy or they try to break the fourth wall and get shut down and told our personal lives are none of their business and it shouldn't matter if we're married or mothers or childless or over 40 and I just...broke. I keep telling myself it's going to change and realistically the only thing that needs to change is me.

 

[Nienna]

I really have been thinking about this all day and why I snapped so hard. There was talk of burn out, entitlement, and deserving-ness -- I'm altruistic by nature, if I wasn't just as concerned about their feelings as my own I would be making way more money than I do* but I think I was just trying to say "hey are you all about throwing a bonus at your favorite model because she's your favorite and you see her shine," there are thousands of movies where people blow shit up because they didn't get a bonus or a pat on the back or whatever and I think my breaking point was like, the automatic no I don't think about or consider those things when we juggle so many things and so many personalities and so many wants and taunts to break terms of service and deal with marriage proposals and get told we won't be tipped again when we don't meet a very specific niche or fantasy or they try to break the fourth wall and get shut down and told our personal lives are none of their business and it shouldn't matter if we're married or mothers or childless or over 40 and I just...broke. I keep telling myself it's going to change and realistically the only thing that needs to change is me.

No. I disagree.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are articulate, educated, and intelligent. The way you responded in this thread shows you are a good person.
What you do is hard.

 

[Vixxen81]

No. I disagree.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are articulate, educated, and intelligent. The way you responded in this thread shows you are a good person.
What you do is hard.

This right here is compassion and I am grateful for it. Thank you. The last thing I would ever want to do is intentionally hurt someone. I reacted instead of responded.

 

[HermesPonyo]

I'll even be a good sport and take my lumps...

When a model is a dick to you and you didn't deserve it, would you like her to apologize in public or private? Or both?

It might be because I'm old (wisdom stuff, you know?) but I will always accept the apologize the way the model wants (can?) do it.

To be honest, it's not easy to admit our own "dick-head" moments. So, I tend to accept the way it's done.

And, yes, it's a tough job. Yes, it's not an excuse. Yes, eveyone could have a though job/day.
But, to be honest, with my ADHD I can also write by impulsivity or being very awkward without meaning it.

The advice I was told once is this one:
When you're upset with a situation, before answering, try to take distance and time.

Great advice, I wonder if it works as I rarely follow it.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

"hey are you all about throwing a bonus at your favorite model because she's your favorite and you see her shine," there are thousands of movies where people blow shit up because they didn't get a bonus or a pat on the back or whatever and I think my breaking point was like, the automatic no I don't think about or consider those things

Alright then.......
I don't know how you managed to do this for 10 years and failed to realise that this isn't an office job where you will be getting regular pay every month in the same amount and if you did really really well maybe even a bonus at the end of the year or a % raise for your performance.
You're your own boss, you're basically your own company. How many freelancers/business owners can pay themselves even a sick leave, when they're really unwell, yet alone a raise or a bonus? No one pats them on the back and says " well done you for shining".
They offer a service, advertise and wait for clients willing to pay for that service.
No person has ever just dropped $500 on a business or freelancer "just cause they're there, working" or they offer a service this person likes, for example make this persons favorite soap. Just because it's a personal favorite, the customer isn't expected to donate money just for giggles. What makes you think you can demand and expect your customers to?
I am well aware we aren't soap for anyone who is going to get caught up on that, but the business of camming works by the same principle as a freelancer/business would.
You show up online, charge for the services you're willing to perform, advertise and wait for customers willing to pay the price.
If they sometimes throw a fiver your way just because they appreciate you, then that's fantastic but it's not a requirement and you are most certainly not entitled to any bonuses or pats on the back for doing the job you chose to do.

when we juggle so many things and so many personalities and so many wants and taunts to break terms of service and deal with marriage proposals and get told we won't be tipped again when we don't meet a very specific niche or fantasy or they try to break the fourth wall and get shut down and told our personal lives are none of their business and it shouldn't matter if we're married or mothers or childless or over 40 and I just...broke. I keep telling myself it's going to change and realistically the only thing that needs to change is me.

No one cares what you juggle in your personal or work life. Thats the thing you don't seem to understand.
Your clients do not want to know if you're mentally struggling, sick, injured, dealing with family issues, etc. and the ones who do ask would most likely rather hear you're doing amazing and can't wait to satisfy them rather than lidten to you moan and winge about your issues.
Most of them want to come to your room, have a chat if they have free hands, tip for what they want and go about their lives after they're done jerking off or feel better for venting to you about THEIR personal issues.
Often they will ask about you and your life but the thing is they don't really give a fuck unless they're one of the back tattoo guys. You're not on cam to make friends from your side, you're there to work, offer a service, get paid for that service if you manage to get clients willing to pay.. that's it
If you treat it any different, you're hurting your mental health and likely your income too.

 

[misterical]

Often they will ask about you and your life but the thing is they don't really give a fuck unless they're one of the back tattoo guys.

I agree with all of your post except this part. Back tattoo guy is a different beast entirely and those guys have an obsessive interest. I definitely think that there is a middle way. I think if you visit and chat to someone regularly, do sexual stuff and possibly video calls then it's difficult not to start to talk about each other's lives and care a little about the model's welfare. There are only so many times you can say "great ass". It's not a creepy thing like back tattoo guy. It's just being a decent human. Personally I get more freaked out when I am in a room and see the guys that only want to make degrading comments, or bang on about themselves all the time.

 

[Lilly_____]

Vixen you're all good and I really don't take what you said the wrong way, just to be clear ok!

I do see this business the way Lexi does though. I'm not here to show how nice of a person I am and how deserving because I have my family and I struggle and I have a great personality and I work my ass off and I want guys to see this and tip me because I'm there yada yada no, at the end of the day they're there for x, I provide x, end of story. I'm sure the baker down the street is very deserving and hardworking and a wonderful person but I'm there for bread. I can't possibly care for every single person's struggles. It's my birthday, cool but that's not my client's problem. I don't even share my actual birthday on cam, Lilly's birthday is fictional cause it's nobody's business.

Kind of a different topic but that's what actually annoys me about the whole social media presence thing. Having to prove to people of how cool I am and how much they should be sticking to me. They fucking shouldn't, i don't want them to. I want them to pay and leave so I can spend time with my actual family.

TLDR I'm a monster

 

[Deleted member 64633]

I agree with all of your post except this part. Back tattoo guy is a different beast entirely and those guys have an obsessive interest. I definitely think that there is a middle way. I think if you visit and chat to someone regularly, do sexual stuff and possibly video calls then it's difficult not to start to talk about each other's lives and care a little about the model's welfare. There are only so many times you can say "great ass". It's not a creepy thing like back tattoo guy. It's just being a decent human. Personally I get more freaked out when I am in a room and see the guys that only want to make degrading comments, or bang on about themselves all the time.

I think you missed my point, I'm sure any customer would prefer to hear
"Yeah, I'm really good, everything is going great"
instead of long tales of what and how and when it all went wrong, how the model is having mental health issues, financial issues, family issues etc.
The cam site is supposed to be the customers escape from reality and a place of good fun, not a place where they listen to models whine.

 

[misterical]

I think you missed my point, I'm sure any customer would prefer to hear
"Yeah, I'm really good, everything is going great"
instead of long tales of what and how and when it all went wrong, how the model is having mental health issues, financial issues, family issues etc.
The cam site is supposed to be the customers escape from reality and a place of good fun, not a place where they listen to models whine.

True. There's a middle way within the middle way. I know I have conversations all the time about the things that are going on in our lives - trips away, things we are doing in free time, movies watched etc. There are some things that you wouldn't bring up in conversation though, I agree. But then, these are things you probably would only bring up with a select few people in any part of your life anyway. I don't think that's exclusively a model/member limitation. I just don't think it necessarily all needs to be shiny, smily, sweetness and light. I think the real life stuff adds to the human connection element which makes cam sites so attractive. Ultimately, I visit cam sites because I want to talk to and do sexy stuff with a human, warts and all.

That's an expression by the way. In case you think I have a wart fetish.

 

[misterical]

Kind of a different topic but that's what actually annoys me about the whole social media presence thing. Having to prove to people of how cool I am and how much they should be sticking to me. They fucking shouldn't, i don't want them to. I want them to pay and leave so I can spend time with my actual family.

Social media used to be a great thing. Then humans ruined it like we do with everything. Now it's a pissing contest to see who can present the most enticing, fictional view of their lives.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

True. There's a middle way within the middle way. I know I have conversations all the time about the things that are going on in our lives - trips away, things we are doing in free time, movies watched etc. There are some things that you wouldn't bring up in conversation though, I agree. But then, these are things you probably would only bring up with a select few people in any part of your life anyway. I don't think that's exclusively a model/member limitation. I just don't think it necessarily all needs to be shiny, smily, sweetness and light. I think the real life stuff adds to the human connection element which makes cam sites so attractive. Ultimately, I visit cam sites because I want to talk to and do sexy stuff with a human, warts and all.

That's an expression by the way. In case you think I have a wart fetish.

Don't think we are ever going to see eye to eye on this.
I will be sweet, smiley, light and friendly - it doesn't mean I am faking my personality and because I chose to be presented in a good light, it isn't real life stuff. It just means I prefer to show the good parts of me when I'm working and deal with my problems off camera and away from clients.
The real and UGLY life stuff have no business at work place. I can be approachable and connect with members in a good way without whining about my life.

If I was selling soap ( yep we are back at it lol) and whined to every regular customer about my life difficulties, I'm pretty sure I'd be closing my business soon.

 

[misterical]

Don't think we are ever going to see eye to eye on this.
I will be sweet, smiley, light and friendly - it doesn't mean I am faking my personality and because I chose to be presented in a good light, it isn't real life stuff. It just means I prefer to show the good parts of me when I'm working and deal with my problems off camera and away from clients.
The real and UGLY life stuff have no business at work place. I can be approachable and connect with members in a good way without whining about my life.

If I was selling soap ( yep we are back at it lol) and whined to every regular customer about my life difficulties, I'm pretty sure I'd be closing my business soon.

We don't need to see eye to eye on this at all. It works for you and it will work for the majority of members so all good.

 

[Lilly_____]

Social media used to be a great thing. Then humans ruined it like we do with everything.

Yeah I remember the good ole days of social media in the wild, animals running free, pure NFT waterfalls to bathe in, it was paradise.

 

[misterical]

Yeah I remember the good ole days of social media in the wild, animals running free, pure NFT waterfalls to bathe in, it was paradise.

Ha ha. Not suggesting it was ever that but I do remember it when it was a bit less fake.

 

[Smoothie]

Just catching up on this thread. Missed a few questions, apologies for not properly quote-tweeting them all, but:

Birthdays/Special occasions: I like them in the sense that they’re a built-in reason for a show to feel special. And if I visit your room, I’m going to tip. The occasion won’t impact that behavior at all, except for the models’ rooms where I’m a longtime regular. In those cases, yes, I may tip more than usual. Not due to of a sense of obligation, though.

OF/Buying content vs. tipping for live shows: I may be an outlier on this one, but I’ve managed to remain completely off of Only Fans so far, including not subscribing to the OF of some cam models that I spend a lot of money on elsewhere. I have nothing against it, I am just satisfied enough with cam sites that I’ve kept my spending on those platforms. I’ve bought pre-recorded content on occasion, but it’s generally not my preference. I also don’t have any super niche fetishes, though, so maybe that’s part of it?

Social media: I like it for two reasons: For one, some models do a great job posting quick messages about when they’ll be online (or if they won’t be on at a usual time), which I find super helpful. The other reason is it’s a good way to be reminded about models I enjoy, especially if I haven’t visited them in a while. It’s not uncommon for me to return to a model’s room that I haven’t visited in a while just because her latest IG post reminded me. Without that visual reminder, I might not have returned.

Entering a room while “broke:” I don’t enter rooms unless I can tip. And really, the only times I enter a room and leave without tipping is if I am browsing new (to me) rooms and entered briefly enough to make a better decision than just basing it on a fleeting thumbnail preview. But if I’m there for more than 30-60 seconds, I tip.

Regarding some of the back-and-forth I’ve seen in this thread, I just want to call out one thing Lexi posted that is important to always remember:

The cam site is supposed to be the customers escape from reality and a place of good fun

It may seem simple, but I think that both sides - members and models - can sometimes get so bogged down in the details and minutia of the whole experience that we lose sight of this very basic thing.

Cam sites are a form of entertainment. Members are people looking to be entertained. Members that tip are spending money they’ve earmarked for fun/entertainment. They’ll stay in a room that fits their definition of fun. Members come to cam sites to feel good.

So it helps to remember the basics of positive vs. negative “vibes.” What invokes positive feelings, on cam sites or anywhere else? Laughter, smiles, friendliness, compliments, playfulness or being easy-going. Among other things.

What are some things that cause negative (or at least “not fun”) vibes? Obligations. Arguments. Confrontations. Sadness, anger, rudeness, hostility, excessive stress. These things happen in life and nobody can be blamed for the occasional bad day. But at the same time, a person looking to spend their entertainment money on something fun is not going to spend it on this kind of experience knowing there are other, more positive options.

(ETA: Sorry for the long-winded post. I was gone for a couple days and responded to like 6 posts in one shot.)

 

[Lilly_____]

It may seem simple, but I think that both sides - members and models - can sometimes get so bogged down in the details and minutia of the whole experience that we lose sight of this very basic thing.

Cam sites are a form of entertainment. Members are people looking to be entertained. Members that tip are spending money they’ve earmarked for fun/entertainment. They’ll stay in a room that fits their definition of fun. Members come to cam sites to feel good.

Yes, so true! When I'm doing the exercise of putting myself in my clients' shoes, I think about videogames, because those are my escape from reality. I think that if I turn on the console and then suddenly I have to argue, pay bills and clean a toilet (yeah the sims I'm talking to you), there's no point in playing at all. Likewise if I bring too much real life issues to my client's experience I'll probably ruin it. When guys here talk about keeping it real, getting to know the real us, I know where you're coming from, but the way I see it, nobody really needs that.

Another social media question: what is your preferred platform to follow models on?

 

[Smoothie]

Another social media question: what is your preferred platform to follow models on?

I prefer Instagram, although I use others too.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Next

Yeah I remember the good ole days of social media in the wild, animals running free, pure NFT waterfalls to bathe in, it was paradise.

Oh yes, it was a golden age. Sigh...

 

[ArcticKitty]

Next

Kind of a different topic but that's what actually annoys me about the whole social media presence thing. Having to prove to people of how cool I am and how much they should be sticking to me. They fucking shouldn't, i don't want them to. I want them to pay and leave so I can spend time with my actual family.

TLDR I'm a monster

I get it, Lilly. I just want to say that I do like you as good people and I admire your intellect.

*sticks my tongue out at you!*

 

[Deleted member 57737]

@Vixxen81 I have great respect for you that you admitted a mistake. Not many people can do it. I know it wouldn't have been easy for me. I did some great mistakes myself and I guess everyone else too. For example saying that I leave the forum was a cheap attempt in making you feel bad. And this is a great example of the fact that if you hurt people you hurt yourself even more in the long run. Leaving this forum would hurt me a lot because it is a great source of humanity, inspiration and know how. And I've grown to like some members a lot because of their sense of humor, their wisdom and their courage. Maybe I'm not interested in models birthdays and personal stuff because I can read about it here. Is this voyeurism? Maybe a little.

Maybe I snapped at you so hard because I've been looking at history a lot in the last few years. And this is full of examples when one group of people tells the other one how and what they should celebrate, what they should and shouldn't do, what is important or moral etc. We know the end of that story especially here in Germany. So I developed a reflex, getting angry when someone projects their priorities on another person. To be clear, I never put you into those category, and funny enough, I make this mistake myself sometimes. Truth is, there are millions of ways to be a good person, many of which are totally alien to me. We are all very different which is a great thing. Important is the basic respect towards any form of life even without understanding them. I'm learning.

 

[Highlander884]

Instagram for me is best.

I don't mind a girl talking about her shitty day, I rather a girl is open then fake about their emotions. Yeah ofc u girls r here to make money but I also want it to be an escape from reality for models too and yeah need to chat if need to.
All I want is the girl not to take it out on me if things r shit.

Went to gym once, found owner crying because of covid problems, I stood and chatted to her about it. R we friends? No not really but understand u can always be happy and cheerful there's too much fake in this world already, I don't get the need to fake smile.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

Instagram for me is best.

I don't mind a girl talking about her shitty day, I rather a girl is open then fake about their emotions. Yeah ofc u girls r here to make money but I also want it to be an escape from reality for models too and yeah need to chat if need to.

Sir.... this is our job......

 

[Lilly_____]

View attachment 95623

I know you meant well but that came off as patronizing and I don't really appreciate that

 

[Lilly_____]

Sir.... this is our job......

Yes sorry to double post but how could we possibly escape from reality while at work? The whole point of working is to deal with reality