A question about promises to tip.

[justjoinedtopost]

Just curious here. Wondering how often models chat with guys who say they plan to give a large tip (or buy an expensive gift) at some point in the future? How often do they make good on it?

I'm not talking about blatant attempts to scam, more interested in the bullshitter v. legit type of thing.

 

[AmberCutie]

It's very rarely fulfilled, and many times if it is, it's not nearly as much as the person hints that it's going to be. I've found that those who are generous with awesome tips are more into the surprise aspect of it and want to see your shocked reaction to a large tip rather than bask in some sort of gloaty-pre-happiness by telling you beforehand.

 

[JoleneBrody]

What Amber said.

I've had many people promise to beat my highest tip, completely unprompted because this girl prefers surprises, but not a single time has a promiser ever followed through.

I now think less of those people for being smoke blowers and trying to get my hopes up just to inflate their ego for 10 seconds, where-as if they had just kept on tipping 10 tokens here and there and being cool I would still enjoy seeing them. What's the point?

 

[AnneDVille]

I have actually have had people come through on their promises. But most of the time.... lies!

 

[Jillybean]

99% of the time it's lies.

Pretty much exactly what Amber said.

I feel like this kind of thing happens on SM a LOT! "I'll take you for a long private on payday." Those kinds of things.

Then if they actually do come back on payday, it ends up being 5 minutes. It's not a big deal at all to me. It's just weird to boast that you'll be buying a one hour block session and then when it's time to put your money where your mouth is it falls short.

So when people make big promises I stay kind to them, but remind myself that actions speak louder.

 

[AmberCutie]

Oh, and this is sort of a stretch for the topic, but I'll add this side note tidbit:

If you are planning on tipping a girl a bit more than usual, but it's for a video, a contest, a show, or some content she's offering, it isn't a "gift" that's something to get her hopes up and brag about.

Example:

Member "OMG suzyQmodel I have a huge birthday present planned for you!"
suzyQmodel "Woo, member, I'm so excited! Looking forward to it!"
*birthday arrives*
Member "/tips 900 tokens with tip note "happy birthday! I'd like 30 minutes of Skype private time please!"
suzyQmodel "well thanks, Member!" (all while trying to convey her appreciation for the purchase but hide the fact that she's disappointed that member made it out to be something it wasn't.)

That isn't a gift. That's you buying Skype time, ya schmuck. Not only is it not a gift, but now she also needs to set aside time in the future for the Skype show.

 

[JoleneBrody]

In that same vein, If you do tip a model a nice gift... please do not then request stuff the next day, that's shitty.
There is a high likely hood that she will redeem your request as long as it's in line with what things she offers but it's gonna hurt the shit out of her feelings and make her feel pretty awful. Especially if what you ask for in exchange for that big "gift" from the previous night requires a lot of extra work and hours from her.

 

[Jessi]

Trying to frame a purchase as a gift or tipping towards the countdown and calling it "just for yooooou bb" is one of the rudest thing ever. Headgames like that are also an insult to the models' intelligence.

 

[dilligaf0]

To quote the old "Popeye" cartoons.
As Wimpy would say, "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today".

 

[Puffin]

That isn't a gift. That's you buying Skype time, ya schmuck. Not only is it not a gift, but now she also needs to set aside time in the future for the Skype show.

While I agree on the point your making with the example.

On the other hand, the Skype would be priced to make the model happy.
If the Skype is under priced then tuats not a members problem. If time for a Skype is limited then removing the Skype option would seem to be in order.
Either way, I member should NOT have to know if a model doesnt want to do an item on her list.

Falsely building suspense with 'huge surprise' is the members problem however.

 

[JoleneBrody]

While I agree on the point your making with the example.

On the other hand, the Skype would be priced to make the model happy.
If the Skype is under priced then tuats not a members problem. If time for a Skype is limited then removing the Skype option would seem to be in order.
Either way, I member should NOT have to know if a model doesnt want to do an item on her list.

Falsely building suspense with 'huge surprise' is the members problem however.

Record store owners want to sell their records, but you are not giving the owner a gift when you buy a record from him. Amber didn't say the model wasn't down with doing the show, but it's still a purchase of services, not a "gift"

A gift requires nothing in return but a smile an a thank you.

 

[Empress Mika]

I concur with everything that's been said here. It also depends on who is saying it. I'd say that 95% of the time, promises like that are fulfilled but only if they're from my regulars. If it's someone I do not know very well, I pretty much assume it's wishful thinking.

 

[AmberCutie]

While I agree on the point your making with the example.

On the other hand, the Skype would be priced to make the model happy.
If the Skype is under priced then tuats not a members problem. If time for a Skype is limited then removing the Skype option would seem to be in order.
Either way, I member should NOT have to know if a model doesnt want to do an item on her list.

Falsely building suspense with 'huge surprise' is the members problem however.

Record store owners want to sell their records, but you are not giving the owner a gift when you buy a record from him. Amber didn't say the model wasn't down with doing the show, but it's still a purchase of services, not a "gift"

A gift requires nothing in return but a smile an a thank you.

Exactly what JJ said. A transaction/purchase of goods, while appreciated, is not a gift.

Yes, models are happy when members buy what they are selling. Totally. But there are hundreds of cases of cam girls feeling disappointed when their member(s) hype up a "gift" and it just turns out to be a transaction.

Edit to note: MFC identifying tips as gifts for legal reasons vs. this conversation is slightly different as this is about intent and stirring up certain emotions between member/model.

 

[MissHannelore]

Strangely enough, I don't think I have ever had anyone 'promise' me a large tip for the future. Maybe hints, but I take them with a pinch of salt as I NEVER expect a member to tip that amount in one go! If they do I feel undeserving... but of course happy and delighted!

I had one new member claim he was going to be my number one cumulative tipper for June (my birthday month), which to be fair was totally within reach and lovely of him to tip me every night I was online in big amounts of tokens. I think finally he was scared off by my monster tip on my Birthday which he might have hear about the next day... I haven't really seen him again, which is a shame, not because I want his tokens but because he was a nice addition to the room and a sweet and interesting person.
I am worried that because he didn't manage to get number one, he felt like he had lied to me and didn't want to embarrass himself... I may be wrong, but just a theory.

Like I say, I rarely get 'promisers' and even if I did I wouldn't believe it.

Any big tips I have had have usually been by regulars who like to give me a heart attack for shits and giggles

 

[Picnic]

A regular recently hinted that he was going to tip me big for my Top 500 run. He essentially said, "I have a goal for your goal," which I thought was not only awesome but pretty darn cute. I have some what of a special "list" for people to get on this month, and after he saw the menu for the month and started dropping hints, I figured he was going for the biggest package I was offering.

Today he delivered during a g/g show...with an extra 400 tokens!

Most people don't promise me things, but if they do, I typically don't expect anything (you learn not to, after a while ... talk is cheap!).

I knew this regular was good for his word, and he went above and beyond which was cool, too

 

[Gen]

I've had lots of random members say things like this, which is annoying but expected. I've also sadly had regulars do it, which always bums me out a lot.

I don't want to expect a big tip or even to expect anything from my regulars, just like a lot of regular members don't want their model or her room to expect them to clear every countdown. Expectations in camland always seem to lead to bad things. So when a regular hints or says that they're going to drop a big tip, I have the expectation that they will and I'm always a little anxious when they're in my room.

And then sometimes their circumstances change, or what seemed like a good idea at the time really wasn't fiscally smart, or whatever. So I'm left being like "???" and they presumably feel weird and don't want to visit, or are mad at me (this happened once, I don't know why because I never brought it up again). So it just makes things awkward all around.

On the flip side, if someone just DOES it, you're excited and happy and there was no awkward expectations involved. I really think that's a better way to go for both the member and model, but like Amber mentioned there are those guys who really like the attention of the buildup.

 

[Shaun__]

If you say you are going to do something you should do it. It always sucks when you are looking forward to something, and it never happens. And who wants to be that guy/gal who did that to someone?

 

[dilligaf0]

If you say you are going to do something you should do it. It always sucks when you are looking forward to something, and it never happens. And who wants to be that guy/gal who did that to someone?

Sadly, too many don't care about the "someone's" feelings as long as they are the center of attention for a while.

 

[LilianaXO]

Maybe I'm lucky, but everyone who has promised me some sort of "life changing" tip/gift has just said it to use as a tool to manipulate me into giving them more attention. Unsuccessfully I might add.
Same goes for members "deciding" who to blow their life savings on. It's just a manipulation tool. (on all levels, why?!?)
I'd much rather not be promised anything and just surprised. Surprises are good.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Thanks to all who reply to the questions I asked above. Here is what prompted them...

Customer comes in, tips a little, and then becomes completely enamored with the model. He sees the model's dream tip, and sees that it is doable. He tells her he is going to give her this tip (spoken, I believe, out of a genuine desire to give it to her). Thing is, it is going to take him a few weeks to scrape it up.

She is excited to hear this. His becomes a username to watch (this is why I am now convinced that speaking of tips beforehand is bad form; it does indeed get her hopes up, and garners him a bit of extra attention over his next few visits. But for the record, I do not believe this was his intent).

I extend the hand of friendship to this customer, and begin to greet him when he comes in her room. If I am able, I want to help her get this tip; if I he is not interested, I am happy to stay out of the way and let it happen on its own. But he accepts my offer of friendship, and we begin to chat.

The man has gone from thinking of sex to thinking of romance, which is a good thing if he's got the tokens on him right then and there; but he does not. And even worse, before he can gather those tokens together, he begins to get heartbroken at the sight of her performing on cam for others.

This leads to a chat where I find myself in the role of comforter; I reassure, console, try to be there for him...and by the end of our rather tedious chat, I am convinced of two things. One, this fish may well have slipped the hook. Two, this chat we just finished has been a complete waste of my f*cking time; time that could have been better spent watching her dance.

So pretty much, I just asked because this particular situation aroused my curiosity. Read no further...

Spoiler: ...unless you wish to see me show my ass.

Ok, here is the deal. When she put that doable dream tip up, I made up my mind I was going to double that bastard and surprise her with it. The only thing to do in my opinion. And I began working towards that goal (without telling her).

But when I heard about the other customer promising to make that tip for her, I had to tell her what I was up to (which I now realize was a huge mistake). Not to impress her, mind you, but because the thought of this poor guy struggling to give her that dream tip only to come in and find that it had been promptly doubled struck me as hilarious; I had to share with somebody.

I did get the money for double-the-dream-tip together (during a month where I tipped an amount equal to the dream tip no less; no idea how I did this). And by this time, it began to bother me that she was only getting $500 of every $800 spent on her. Or maybe it bothered me that I was spending $800 to give her $500, I don't know. So we discussed moving my tipping off-sites; I offered Amazon or sending her money, she said either was fine. I opted for Amazon (still retain some of the fun of tipping that way).

She had an item on her wish list that wasn't quite equal in value to the double-the-dream-tip. I decided that would be my tip for this month (without telling her). But lo and behold, before I was ready to pull the trigger on it, another customer began promising her he was going to buy this gift for her. When she told me this in excitement, I immediately sent her the screenshot I had saved on my desktop showing this item at the Amazon checkout (so I would know how much the total was). Not to impress her, mind you, but because I thought expressing relief that this guy had just saved me some money might f*ck with her head a little. Hilarious, the way she reacted. (An interesting side note here: before the month was up, another guy -- a confirmed shithead -- was also letting her know that he too was going to surprise her with this gift. Coincidence perhaps. Or perhaps she was dropping the same not-so-subtle hints to all of us.)

So a few nights ago, I went over the math with her. I showed her the dollar amount I was going to tip, equal to double-the-dream-tip (I spent the payout amount, not the token price amount; a cheap ass move, I know). I explained half of this was for requests for the upcoming month; a couple skypes, a custom video she made for me, and a pair of her underwear. The other half, gift. No more requests from me this month unless I tip for them onsites (and I plainly told her this part). She found this deal satisfactory, and we went on a skype shopping trip so she could pick out what she wanted to buy.

Of course she knew exactly what she wanted. But I tried to steer her away from that, pointing out that others had already promised to buy it. And I noticed that the more I pointed out alternatives, the more insistent she was that the gift she wanted was indeed the gift she wanted. Finally I gave up.

I suggested just buying her a gift card and letting her do her own damn shopping (fat chance), but I told her whatever she decided was fine. Told her to just let me know what to get so we could wrap things up. She was practically bouncing in her chair as she said “GIFTGIFTGIFT!!”.

With that, it was settled; gift it was. We then turned to the business of figuring out what else to spend the rest of my tip on. I was pretty sure it was going to be clothes. Turns out it was a new sex toy. Hmm. Guess I misjudged her. I don't consider it a moral shortcoming though.

Then I told her to be patient for one more week. I reminded her that we should wait and make sure one of these other guys wasn't going to buy the gift first. And I gave that a minute to sink in before I checked out. And within two or three minutes her mouth dropped open and she said “It says someone already bought me the gift.” Yeah. No shit? I know where that hungry mother-f*cker lives. Good times, good times...

Now I went into this with the best of intentions, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself every step of the way; but it has become clear to me over the course of this thread that I blundered things badly here.

“That isn't a gift. That's you buying Skype time, ya schmuck.....If you are planning on tipping a girl a bit more than usual, but it's for a video, a contest, a show, or some content she's offering, it isn't a "gift" that's something to get her hopes up and brag about.”

“In that same vein, If you do tip a model a nice gift... please do not then request stuff the next day, that's shitty...There is a high likely hood that she will redeem your request as long as it's in line with what things she offers but it's gonna hurt the shit out of her feelings and make her feel pretty awful.”

“Trying to frame a purchase as a gift or tipping towards the countdown and calling it "just for yooooou bb" is one of the rudest thing ever. Headgames like that are also an insult to the models' intelligence.”

“I've also sadly had regulars do it, which always bums me out a lot... So when a regular hints or says that they're going to drop a big tip, I have the expectation that they will and I'm always a little anxious when they're in my room.”

“Maybe I'm lucky, but everyone who has promised me some sort of "life changing" tip/gift has just said it to use as a tool to manipulate me into giving them more attention.”

I am horrified after reading these things (and I didn't read the emboldened parts out of context, they are just the parts that drove the message home). The thought that I may have put this woman in a position where she felt like she had to feign delight on my behalf, and then cover her pain with text messages and pm's telling me I am the “best friend ever ”...well frankly, it is more than I care to wonder about.

But you live, you learn I guess. Not going to beat myself up over this, I honestly didn't know any better. I plan on getting it right next time around.

Thanks again to any who share insights in this thread.

 

[Remykins]

If its a random person promising to go premium/tip next week/buy a vid etc etc, I never believe them. If its a regular or someone I consider a friend, of course I believe them. That just makes it 10x as painful when it turns out they had no intention of fulfilling their promise...and with me for some reason, the promises I get from regulars are always pretty big. Everything from "a Christmas present you're going to love!" to someone telling me they ordered a LV bag and that its on its way to my PO box, to a longtime regular/friend who I had met in person at AEE/Camgirl Mansion promising to fund any trip I wanted so I could enjoy some travelling (and I know it sounds like "yeah right, who would do that" but I believed him...he was a huge tipper, and HAD actually bought me an expensive handbag when I saw him last) ....so yeah, I dunno it sucks. I don't get why guys do this. I don't expect anything outside of the normal contribution for my shows/vids/whatever but when a guy promises to make your day, and doesn't, it makes me rage. I hate getting my hopes up only to find out the guy was lying the whole time

 

[mynameisbob84]

I don't see any positives for promising a tip/gift to a cam girl. Negatives aplenty though...

- It ceases to be a surprise

- If something comes up and you can no longer tip what you promised, then the cam girl is likely to be upset

- If you promise a "big" tip and it winds up being an average tip (or smaller) for that model, you look silly

- A "big" tip for you might not be a "big" tip for the model and you then run the risk of becoming upset when she doesn't react in the way you were hoping because she was expecting something more substantial from you and can't sufficiently mask her disappointment

Nobody really benefits from it, yo.

 

[Teagan]

Usually when it's a non regular not only do they seem to make the largest ridiculous promises for "next time" but then they never come back. You never see them again lol. Theyre on to the next girl to lie to.

 

[dilligaf0]

That's why I have never promised to tip any model. If / when I can afford to, I do. No promises, no chance of a let down.

 

[AmberCutie]

Thanks to all who reply to the questions I asked above. Here is what prompted them...

That was one of the more confusing posts I've ever read. I'm not sure what to make of it, but... sorry that this thread may have shed some negative light on some of your cam site behaviors. I think? I dunno. She's probably not upset with you, but maybe confused. If she's still treating you cool, don't sweat it.

I don't see any positives for promising a tip/gift to a cam girl. Negatives aplenty though...

- It ceases to be a surprise

- If something comes up and you can no longer tip what you promised, then the cam girl is likely to be upset

- If you promise a "big" tip and it winds up being an average tip (or smaller) for that model, you look silly

- A "big" tip for you might not be a "big" tip for the model and you then run the risk of becoming upset when she doesn't react in the way you were hoping because she was expecting something more substantial from you and can't sufficiently mask her disappointment

Nobody really benefits from it, yo.

Upset might be a harsh word, but disappointed or concerned she misunderstood you at some point at least. But yeah the rest of this is spot on.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

That was one of the more confusing posts I've ever read. I'm not sure what to make of it, but...

Yeah, that little cathartic indulgence definitely needed a tl;dr. Was pretty damned confused when I wrote it.

sorry that this thread may have shed some negative light on some of your cam site behaviors. I think? I dunno.

No. This is good. Learned things I needed to know.

She's probably not upset with you, but maybe confused. If she's still treating you cool, don't sweat it.

Did a little probing to find out if I had upset her. Kept it under 20 words. Managed to confuse her as well . Not by the way I tipped this month, but by coming back asking if she was upset.

 

[Doc_Mercy]

Can't say I've ever promised or hinted that I would tip big at any point. Even if a models say's something like "you should totally get my snapchat or videos" etc I'm reluctant to hint or imply that I will, either in main chat or privately, purely because I don't quite know what tokens I might have. There might be one night where you're having fun and you maybe tip a few more than you were expecting, or other circumstances may pop up, a unexpected bill or expense for example.

Any big tips that I give are purely a surprise, and I never mention or hint that it will happen beforehand. More shock value that way.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Those who work in sales/ retail usually get to know this phrase.. "Buyers are liars". Promises mean little.

For myself I am about 85% with promises, but suspect this about typical.

 

[CherryChu]

(usual disclaimer that I'm still a newbie) I think I've only had one guy promise and then go through with it so far... we'll see I guess. But my thoughts have been to avoid getting my hopes up until the thing has actually happened. Anything can stop a person from fulfilling a promise - they could have been lying, they could be busy, they could have some kind of financial emergency that prevents them from getting tokens, etc. So really I think it's better for everyone involved if everyone would just not make those promises and instead stick to pleasant surprises =p

 

[Adreena_]

It's usually lies as the genuine people will just send the tip/buy the item without discussing it beforehand. I only know a couple of members who I trust when they say they'll buy something in the future