Would You Silence, Ban, or Tolerate?

[rockin_rod]

Hello to all the models.

In my friend's room yesterday, a dark purple user (new to the room) came in, tipped several hundred tokens over maybe 10 mins, and then went into a private. All well and good.
However after the private ended, he started bombarding the public chat with demands, like "now f*ck ass with dildo", without any further tipping.
Next, he wrote "i tip you 200 tkns, u send me 5 min dildo f*cking ass vid" and "how much for 2hr f*ck for real?".
He bought her snap and then demanded she add him immediately, during the show.
Then he started asking her to travel to another country to meet him in person "how much to come to <foreign city>for 4 days hard f*cking??????"
Again, no further tipping. Seemed he was just trying to make a point and act like a big shot.

The room was busy, and my friend streams on several sites, so she did not reply.
I'm a moderator in the room, and each time he posted something like that, I asked him to use tip notes or PM, but he ignored and persisted.
Since this was on CB, the only option for a mod would be to silence him, but I would never do that to a tipper, even a rude one, unless my friend specifically asked me to (plus she could obviously silence or ban him herself). So he carried on demanding for the rest of the show, with no more tips.

After the show, we discussed what happened and my friend was unsure what she wanted to do, if he came in again. This guy tipped her maybe 1,000 tokens total (including the private) so it was not huge for some, but still a good part of her earnings.

So, wondering what you would do if this happened in your room - silence, ban or tolerate? I would not have hesitated to silence a grey behaving like that, but a tipper? Hmmm

 

[EvaMoon]

If he didn't tip more he seems to me he will not in the future. And if he will probably will be less, and he will demand more. I had something similar and i just silenced him. Then he started giving tip notes, 1 tk every 3 to 5 minutes for a while, demanding stuff giving instructions and all. I smiled, thanked him and carried on, but one day he was verry annoying, didn't tip at all, for an hour yapping in my pm and I banned him.

 

[AmberCutie]

People like that, if they're throwing tips in public chat I thank them and move on without acknowledging their notes or requests if they're clearly out of bounds. I'll take their money as long as they're freely tossing it. Make sure they know I do not do the things they're asking but "thanks for the tip! glad you enjoy my room so much."

Happened just the other night, actually. At the end of it all, he actually still seemed pleased, so, yay! If he had gotten more mouthy or insulting, I'd have banned permanently and put on ignore, though.

 

[_pilya_]

I never really tried putting someone on "ignore" How does this work, can a user still chat in my room and everyone sees what he/she wrote except me or that person whom i ignore in my room thinks he still can type anything and everyone sees what he wrote?

I think if there was ever a mode where a model can "invis" a person, where they think they can do what they want in a room without them knowing they are invis would be great and less agressive then kicking/silencing them out, or would that offend them more?

 

[AmberCutie]

I never really tried putting someone on "ignore" How does this work, can a user still chat in my room and everyone sees what he/she wrote except me or that person whom i ignore in my room thinks he still can type anything and everyone sees what he wrote?

I think if there was ever a mode where a model can "invis" a person, where they think they can do what they want in a room without them knowing they are invis would be great and less agressive then kicking/silencing them out, or would that offend them more?

My comment was about MyFreeCams. There, an Ignore makes the user completely unable to type in our chat room (no one sees), and unable to PM or MFC mail us, and their tips/tip notes would not show up in our room (but the tip itself will still go through and show in our token stats.) Ignore is permanent, so I use it often for idiots that I never want to think of again.

 

[Azor87]

i mean as a dark purple user myself, if i acted like that. i would assume i would be blocked, atleast when u told him to use PM for it and he didnt. he thinks he is a bigshot, but really u get dark purple by tipping 1000 tokens the past 2 weeks. its nothing and definitly not worth dealing with wankers like that. purples comes and goes, next one will prolly not be a douch. and i mean doesent matter if its a non tipper or tipper, ban rude ass people. your job as a model can be hard enough without having to deal with that

 

[Nigerian Prince]

I'd silence, and let them know they can be unsilenced after they tip to acknowledge that they understand the rules. Sometimes it works, sometimes they just leave.

 

[rockin_rod]

Thanks everyone for the replies!
It's her call, but will suggest that she considers silencing if he continues to be rude and demanding, and then unsilencing if he responds to that and uses tip notes or PM.

 

[MarieElise]

Hello to all the models.

In my friend's room yesterday, a dark purple user (new to the room) came in, tipped several hundred tokens over maybe 10 mins, and then went into a private. All well and good.
However after the private ended, he started bombarding the public chat with demands, like "now f*ck ass with dildo", without any further tipping.
Next, he wrote "i tip you 200 tkns, u send me 5 min dildo f*cking ass vid" and "how much for 2hr f*ck for real?".
He bought her snap and then demanded she add him immediately, during the show.
Then he started asking her to travel to another country to meet him in person "how much to come to <foreign city>for 4 days hard f*cking??????"
Again, no further tipping. Seemed he was just trying to make a point and act like a big shot.

The room was busy, and my friend streams on several sites, so she did not reply.
I'm a moderator in the room, and each time he posted something like that, I asked him to use tip notes or PM, but he ignored and persisted.
Since this was on CB, the only option for a mod would be to silence him, but I would never do that to a tipper, even a rude one, unless my friend specifically asked me to (plus she could obviously silence or ban him herself). So he carried on demanding for the rest of the show, with no more tips.

After the show, we discussed what happened and my friend was unsure what she wanted to do, if he came in again. This guy tipped her maybe 1,000 tokens total (including the private) so it was not huge for some, but still a good part of her earnings.

So, wondering what you would do if this happened in your room - silence, ban or tolerate? I would not have hesitated to silence a grey behaving like that, but a tipper? Hmmm

Ban. But I've been doing this 6 years, and have a pretty solid fan base built up. I would care more about his shitty behavior ruining my mood, and putting whales off, than his pissy 1000 tokens. But that's just me personally, I've always been strict like that but still kept making good money, and attracting big spenders. I actually would have told him directly to shut the fuck up (publically in front of everyone), banned him, and then apologized profusely to the rest of his room for his asinine behavior, and my language. To be real with you.

On SM block isn't permanent, but I've only once in 6 years unblocked someone again. So as far as I'm concerned, it's permanent.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

My sanity over money any day.

So if she tells him to stop rushing, stop pushing her into asking things that she doesn't do/are against ToS, not pming, etc, and he still continues to break these right away? I'd honestly ban. 1000tks is a lot of money from one person, but I would rather get that amount from smaller tips from a bunch of viewers that just want to have fun and not be demanding. Doing it out in the open too like he is kills everyone's vibe and may drive other viewers to leave, or feel that the vibe is no longer fun.. not to mention the strain it has on her, the streamer!

Accept the short term losses from one guy are worth it to retain the long term gains from others (and your own sanity), imo.

 

[rockin_rod]

Ban. But I've been doing this 6 years, and have a pretty solid fan base built up. I would care more about his shitty behavior ruining my mood, and putting whales off, than his pissy 1000 tokens. But that's just me personally, I've always been strict like that but still kept making good money, and attracting big spenders. I actually would have told him directly to shut the fuck up (publically in front of everyone), banned him, and then apologized profusely to the rest of his room for his asinine behavior, and my language. To be real with you.

On SM block isn't permanent, but I've only once in 6 years unblocked someone again. So as far as I'm concerned, it's permanent.

Thanks for that, I sure know what I'd have done (in seconds) if it was my room! But it wasn't, and I would never cross that line and become one of those moderators........

 

[MarieElise]

Thanks for that, I sure know what I'd have done (in seconds) if it was my room! But it wasn't, and I would never cross that line and become one of those moderators........

Yeah for sure, I agree with how you handled the situation. It means this model will know that she can trust you, and that you are not rash.

 

[rockin_rod]

My sanity over money any day.

So if she tells him to stop rushing, stop pushing her into asking things that she doesn't do/are against ToS, not pming, etc, and he still continues to break these right away? I'd honestly ban. 1000tks is a lot of money from one person, but I would rather get that amount from smaller tips from a bunch of viewers that just want to have fun and not be demanding. Doing it out in the open too like he is kills everyone's vibe and may drive other viewers to leave, or feel that the vibe is no longer fun.. not to mention the strain it has on her, the streamer!

Accept the short term losses from one guy are worth it to retain the long term gains from others (and your own sanity), imo.

Agree. And I saw the evidence last night, that this dark purple's behaviour sent a message to the others in the room, and theirs worsened as a result.

 

[bamdicted]

I agree with those saying you handled it like you should, without prior agreements on this between you and the model she has to set the tone.

That said, depending on what bot she uses, you might have ninja banned him, that way his behavior would only be noticeable to you and the model, he wouldn't even know.

 

[Kenny777]

Wow no respect. Don't matter if your big tipper, can't treat ppl like shit. I think PM them first and if no good, cya later. As a MOD, what so you have to do? Just make sure the chat is clean and keep the partying going?

 

[Marceline]

I don’t tolerate annoying people or people who try to push my limits, so it’d be an immediate ban for me.

Also, since FOSTA/SESTA a lot of sites don’t play around with talks of meeting up for money. It’s not worth it to keep someone around who keeps talking about that, because you’re risking being banned over someone else’s stupidity. Especially on a site like Chaturbate that is well known for banning cam models at the drop of a hat.

 

[InannahQoH]

It's her call

I think this.
Bit hard for a mod to go banning purples for a model. IMO
So I woulda pmed the model for a check.

 

[rockin_rod]

I think this.
Bit hard for a mod to go banning purples for a model. IMO
So I woulda pmed the model for a check.

Absolutely. She was too busy at the time to bother with a PM, and her own inaction told me she chose not to ban at the time.
After the show, we discussed it and she was still not sure how to deal with him (or similar) - hence this thread.

 

[Mila_]

Echoing the chorus, but absolutely ban. Room vibe is king and nobody gets a pass. I have never regretted running a tight ship, it’s what keeps people coming back, the fact they know the type of experience they will have when they visit and it’s not likely to change based on which asshole got paid today.

 

[InannahQoH]

Absolutely. She was too busy at the time to bother with a PM, and her own inaction told me she chose not to ban at the time.
After the show, we discussed it and she was still not sure how to deal with him (or similar) - hence this thread.

Oh ok, so yeah, if i was the model, id so something like

Silence them for a day.
Pm them explaining, which they couldnt reply to, since they are silenced.
If it continues then ban.

 

[Madame]

Hello to all the models.

In my friend's room yesterday, a dark purple user (new to the room) came in, tipped several hundred tokens over maybe 10 mins, and then went into a private. All well and good.
However after the private ended, he started bombarding the public chat with demands, like "now f*ck ass with dildo", without any further tipping.
Next, he wrote "i tip you 200 tkns, u send me 5 min dildo f*cking ass vid" and "how much for 2hr f*ck for real?".
He bought her snap and then demanded she add him immediately, during the show.
Then he started asking her to travel to another country to meet him in person "how much to come to <foreign city>for 4 days hard f*cking??????"
Again, no further tipping. Seemed he was just trying to make a point and act like a big shot.

The room was busy, and my friend streams on several sites, so she did not reply.
I'm a moderator in the room, and each time he posted something like that, I asked him to use tip notes or PM, but he ignored and persisted.
Since this was on CB, the only option for a mod would be to silence him, but I would never do that to a tipper, even a rude one, unless my friend specifically asked me to (plus she could obviously silence or ban him herself). So he carried on demanding for the rest of the show, with no more tips.

After the show, we discussed what happened and my friend was unsure what she wanted to do, if he came in again. This guy tipped her maybe 1,000 tokens total (including the private) so it was not huge for some, but still a good part of her earnings.

So, wondering what you would do if this happened in your room - silence, ban or tolerate? I would not have hesitated to silence a grey behaving like that, but a tipper? Hmmm

Not sure what you guys are gonna decide to do, but I personally would ban him. Thank you for the $50 worth of tokens, but you’re not gonna disrupt my room w. crazy demands. I block tippers all the time when they get out of line. Don’t care how much you spend. I just did it 2 days ago. The guy was tipping very well and was the highest topper at the moment. But he got weird and was saying “I should come to your door” “I should dress in disguise and find you then fuck you” ummm...now I warned him 2x to not talk like that, told him to leave sex comments in tip notes and if he speaks on that again, I’m gonna take it as harrassment and ban him. He acts like he’s gonna stop for a minute, said I’m being mean(didn’t care. My guys know I get stern when need be. And I’m a domme, so it’s not out of the ordinary). He soon started back up again. Banned. He will be banned for a month and if he comes back in the same stuff, he will be banned permanently. I don’t play that. Another incident was a high topper, paid $400 worth of tokens within minutes. Then proceeds to demand me to roughly fuck my asshole, I tell him I’ll try my best because it is known that I only do light Anal play. He then tells me I’m a fraud. Banned. I don’t have time for that. Don’t come in my room with demands. I have a tip menu for everything you want. I have rotating notifiers for everything you need to know. And you have to type in the tip notes if you wanna sex talk or ask something in particular. Don’t care how much money you spend, fuck off with all that. There is always someone else to replace that person. Do what you guys feel is right. But it’s perfectly fine to not allow anyone to push y’all’s boundaries.

 

[Sxmxr]

Hello to all the models.

In my friend's room yesterday, a dark purple user (new to the room) came in, tipped several hundred tokens over maybe 10 mins, and then went into a private. All well and good.
However after the private ended, he started bombarding the public chat with demands, like "now f*ck ass with dildo", without any further tipping.
Next, he wrote "i tip you 200 tkns, u send me 5 min dildo f*cking ass vid" and "how much for 2hr f*ck for real?".
He bought her snap and then demanded she add him immediately, during the show.
Then he started asking her to travel to another country to meet him in person "how much to come to <foreign city>for 4 days hard f*cking??????"
Again, no further tipping. Seemed he was just trying to make a point and act like a big shot.

The room was busy, and my friend streams on several sites, so she did not reply.
I'm a moderator in the room, and each time he posted something like that, I asked him to use tip notes or PM, but he ignored and persisted.
Since this was on CB, the only option for a mod would be to silence him, but I would never do that to a tipper, even a rude one, unless my friend specifically asked me to (plus she could obviously silence or ban him herself). So he carried on demanding for the rest of the show, with no more tips.

After the show, we discussed what happened and my friend was unsure what she wanted to do, if he came in again. This guy tipped her maybe 1,000 tokens total (including the private) so it was not huge for some, but still a good part of her earnings.

So, wondering what you would do if this happened in your room - silence, ban or tolerate? I would not have hesitated to silence a grey behaving like that, but a tipper? Hmmm

Be upfront. I had someone tip me $300 the other day was was telling me to be rougher go harder whatever. I told him fuck you and I did my own thing as much as a could and moved on with my show. I was pretty close to banning him. If he would have tipped 1000 I would have silenced him. I’ve silenced many tippers who continue to tip after I silence them. They know they are misbehaving so don’t be afraid to silence them or put them in their place and let your inner Domme shine.

 

[hannasabot]

Hello to all the models.

In my friend's room yesterday, a dark purple user (new to the room) came in, tipped several hundred tokens over maybe 10 mins, and then went into a private. All well and good.
However after the private ended, he started bombarding the public chat with demands, like "now f*ck ass with dildo", without any further tipping.
Next, he wrote "i tip you 200 tkns, u send me 5 min dildo f*cking ass vid" and "how much for 2hr f*ck for real?".
He bought her snap and then demanded she add him immediately, during the show.
Then he started asking her to travel to another country to meet him in person "how much to come to <foreign city>for 4 days hard f*cking??????"
Again, no further tipping. Seemed he was just trying to make a point and act like a big shot.

The room was busy, and my friend streams on several sites, so she did not reply.
I'm a moderator in the room, and each time he posted something like that, I asked him to use tip notes or PM, but he ignored and persisted.
Since this was on CB, the only option for a mod would be to silence him, but I would never do that to a tipper, even a rude one, unless my friend specifically asked me to (plus she could obviously silence or ban him herself). So he carried on demanding for the rest of the show, with no more tips.

After the show, we discussed what happened and my friend was unsure what she wanted to do, if he came in again. This guy tipped her maybe 1,000 tokens total (including the private) so it was not huge for some, but still a good part of her earnings.

So, wondering what you would do if this happened in your room - silence, ban or tolerate? I would not have hesitated to silence a grey behaving like that, but a tipper? Hmmm

It is important that you respect what the model wants because she is the one who allows or not the shows. If you think it should be otherwise, you can tell her.

 

[MallorieReese]

Hello, well since he tipped a pretty good amount of tokens, I would personally just silence him. But at the same time, if he persists in continuing with this kind of behaviour, I would immediately ban him. Your mental health as a model is the most valuable thing ever - not even 10.000 tokens can buy that.

 

[Diana_Devil]

 

[darcyduke]

Totally ban.

 

[Danigirl]

Ban all day every day. If you try to bring down the room or my mood with stupid shit, it's done. I even have in my topic in all caps saying no demands. Biggest turn off.

However, as a mod you should definitely do whatever the model wants you to do. I've had a mod (back when I actually had them) mute someone who had tipped me a fuckton the day before and he wasn't even saying anything bad - just was carrying on a prior joke that we had going. I lost a whale because he was pissed. He lost his mod status.

 

[Olive]

It really depends. Using a bot that allows you to silence users with a command (so invisible) is helpful, because that way the messages don't kill the vibe of the room anymore.
The user won't know he's silenced, the rest of the room doesn't either. The model & mod will still be able to see the 'blocked messages', so you could still respond if need be.

For me personally it really depends on how the show is going. A public ban can be 'disruptive' to the show as well, but at certain specific times public silences or bans can also be an educational moment to signal to the rest of the room what you do and do not tolerate. So if I'm trying to be sexy & really focus on building a sexy mood I'd do a ninja silent, and then later go back and ban the person. If it's a less 'sexy' moment, I would likely just ban. (+ some viewers like 'sassy')

 

[Deleted member 52557]

On Chaturbate I feel like a lot of users talk this way and most of them are grey freeloaders who will never tip. I would ignore him completely unless he started spending money again. If other tipping users complained I would silence him.

 

[dusty-of-nymph-dreams]

This is a great thread.

Totally up to the model, agreed -- I'm on SM so don't have a mod, I do have someone who lets me know when someone is getting overly needy and bringing my vibe down in "free chat".

So much of my growth as an individual - from camming specifically - has been from the practice of trusting my gut instinct and "banning for sport" (got that quote from a reddit post, it's a mantra now). Standing up for myself - without getting emotional, including not being emotionally swayed by some number of gold/promises of a long show/etc.

When someone tosses a chunk of money at me and then starts pushing my boundaries against my clear protest, it is a ban (block) because it creeps me out and that's ALL that matters to me. There is ALWAYS another person willing to step up if you are in your vibe (as a model), so maintaining my room's good vibe with a sense of abundance is my #1 goal.

When I haven't been as quick to ban in the past, instead being incentivized toward toleration of such unwelcome boundary pushing behaviour, the initial money outlay from the visitor has proven merely a tactic to suggest further "big spending" (including their actual language in chat, suggesting they are a big whale). And as suggested by another poster, the bad behavior of one visitor brings down the overall behavior of the group (hence MFC's invisible function).

Putting up with this behavior and similar under that category of "unwanted boundary pushing behaviour" (wherein everyone's boundaries and awareness differs some) has lead me the closest to getting scammed in the past. To those above who have mentioned the value of listening to your gut -- cheers to that!

Sounds like "make invisible" is the minimum action that was suggested above!