What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline tip?

[dresden76]

Got a question for models and members.

I have been a member of MFC for almost 2 years and this has never happened to me before. I have three girls that i religiously follow and have a friendly relationship with them. Due to health and financial woes I did not go on MFC that much and when I did it was just to pop in and say hi. Although i don't go in her room because of my own reasons, I always make sure to tip her offline or even online through a PM. Well i had not tipped her or anybody, but i did make sure to #FF her and retweet her tweets to help get the word out. She also DM and tweeted me during this time concerned for my health. I sent her a tweet 2 weeks ago and she did not acknowledge it, but i thought nothing of it. When she tweeted about a problem she had, I replied with my support and words of encouragement. Nothing back from her. This week was a good week for me health and financial wise so I decided to tip my 3 faves 1 online and 2 offline. The online one thanked me on a pm and and then also sent a tweet to everybody and a DM for me. The first offline one thanked me as well and was really pleased and surprised. The model I am talking about did not respond, so I waited a day and then went to MFC to make sure it went through and according to everything on my side it went through.

So my conundrum is how do I got about finding out if she received it or not without sounding like a controlling demanding prick? I thought about DMing her and just asking her but I don't want to sound like I expect something for the tip. Should I send her an MFC mail, a DM, an email to her private email or wait til she is online and send her a PM or venture into the room and see how she responds. I am just afraid that maybe she is ignoring me for some reason or perceived slight.

I just don't want to be a DoucheCanoe to her or to the situation.

 

[Evvie]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Hi Dresden

I'm glad you're such a cool guy and don't want to sound "off". Definitely it is easy for models to take things the wrong way, we can be a bit touchy like that :lol:

It does sound like this model decided about two weeks ago that she didn't want to communicate with you. Who knows why; sometimes models just decide to move on. Sometimes they can just be irritated and not want to be "around" somebody, or other times they have made a firm decision that they do not want to invite someone in to their online life. A lot of guys will call this bitchy, but no human being is obligated to be friends with everyone. Even cam models get to choose who they want to hang out with

I think it is really sweet of you that you sent her an offline tip even after she stopped responding to your messages. In this situation I feel confident she did get the tip but has decided that she is not interested in having you as an Internet buddy. I think it's polite to respond to all tips, but of course, no model is required to, and I think she has made her intent fairly clear. As far as the tip goes, there is no point in asking her if she got it. If she did not get the tip, it will not be refunded to you.

I can tell you one thing out of personal experience, though, which may be influencing her behind the scenes. Sometimes, when I've decided it is best to not develop a relationship with someone, they will try to influence my choice by tipping me, buying me presents or otherwise trying to "buy" my affections. This model may be under the impression that you are trying to buy her attention even after she has stopped responding to you.

If you want (and I'm sure you've already tried, but who knows) you can go to your messages on MFC and see if she has clicked on your tip message (we receive offline tips exactly like messages). Your offline tip should show as "Read" or "Unread".

In the end, though, I would encourage you not to pursue an online relationship with her anymore. Even if we don't understand her choices and it may bother you not knowing why, she has pretty clearly set a boundary that I feel should be respected.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I'm gonna say something you're probably not gonna want to hear:

You have too much invested in getting instant confirmation of your actions. Except for her, who the hell knows what's going on with her life. Not knowing the nature of your DMs or other interactions, maybe she got creeped out. Maybe she has some serious stuff going on that precludes her from interacting with you on the level that you deem acceptable.

I understand from your post that you have had some stuff to deal with, but my advice would be to get a life. MFC can definitely be a part of it, but don't let it rule. Also realize that these lovely ladies have lives outside of MFC. They are not able to be available at your every beckoned call.

Lines of demarcation, my friend.

 

[bob]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

i have to agree with what's been said here, with the following caveat....
what you posted does not sound so black and white to me....unless i'm missing something, the message you're getting sounds mixed

but it also sounds like she's got some rt stuff going on, so it's understandable to me that her online life might suffer a bit

while i raised my eyebrows at the term "religiously follow", you sound like a sensitive guy who knows the difference between "loyal fan" and "a fool in love" on an intellectual level anyway....only you know the truth of that, and that's how it should be.

but rogue's right....sometimes we all forget that online reality is prone to fits and starts...if for no other reason in your case than you're just one guy in what is probably a world of guys......support is sometimes counter-intuitive and amounts to just sitting back and letting things unfold

if that's impossible for you, then find the moment and ask the question you need an answer too...regardless of the "working environment", sometimes we just need truth....whether we want to hear it or not.

as for MY answer to your question....i don't expect a ty...so naturally, i always get one.....and so it goes

 

[JickyJuly]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

If I somehow missed an offline tip, I would hope that said tipper would drop me a PM the next time we were both online. Unless you were banned or otherwise told your tokens aren't welcome, expecting a thank you for offline tokens seems totally reasonable. If something weird went down and you're trying to buy your way back into the good graces of this girl, it seems not to be working. Not that I'm assuming this is the case, it just seems like the only alternative to plain old model error.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Hm.

She might be forgetful... like me. I sometimes get ready to respond to something and forget, and because its not a "new message" i forget for a day or two. miss a tweet. Or 3. Its not a personal thing and i feel awful when it happens.

Interestingly I left a rather large offline tip for a model recently that was not acknowledged after a week - and I had seen her active on twitter. I sent her a text message just checking she got it and found out her computer was busted, she was using her phone to tweet and hadn't been on to check MFC.

Honestly, if i was in your shoes send an MFC mail that says "Hey! Just wanted to make sure everything went through ok as MFC doesnt sent me any kind of confirmation that you got it. Hope all is well."

If you don't get a reply from a second message... and she's active on cam, yeah you may have a problem for SOME reason (i have no idea not knowing her or you).

 

[LacieLaPlante]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I've only once intentionally ignored an offline tip. It was the end of the relationship. The guy was constantly asking too much of me, asking me to do things I wasn't comfortable with and tipping me huge amounts to do it. He sent an offline tip telling me that he thought it was the end, and I didn't drag it on by answering. I'm sad Im not a bigger person, able to find the words at the end of a friendship like that, but I'm not and not answering was the best I could do. He never came around again and I was relieved.

 

[Jupiter551]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Well you could just tweet or DM her or mfc mail quite casually, and friendly, asking if she recieved your previous messages or offline tip and was just wondering if your internet was playing up (or something like that).

I think that politely asks for a response, without coming off as demanding or putting her on the spot. If she doesn't respond just move on.

 

[Shaun__]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I asked a model friend a question on Tumblr the other day, and got no answer. Then when I went to her room she told me how it was the first thing she had seen that morning, and how it had put a smile on her face without me mentioning it. I DMed another model and asked if she would consider going online for a little, since I had not seen her in weeks and said I would understand if she was still too busy. No answer, but she did pop on later and I thanked her appropriately. Both of those models like me, and neither one is any good at replying to things I ask them. Models can be busy, and the ones who like me the best know I will not throw a tantrum if they never send me a five page handwritten notarized response.

On the other hand I had two other models who did not like me, and they would respond in the beginning. So response or lack of one indicates nothing really.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Well you could just tweet or DM her or mfc mail quite casually, and friendly, asking if she recieved your previous messages or offline tip and was just wondering if your internet was playing up (or something like that).

I think that politely asks for a response, without coming off as demanding or putting her on the spot. If she doesn't respond just move on.

^This.^


Somewhat recently, a member tipped me at the exact moment that I either went into a private show or went off cam temporarily. When I came right back into my room, I think I checked my token stats and a couple regulars told me that the guy had tipped me last. I would've felt bad if his tip had gone acknowledged or thanked, so I PMed him right away to tell him thank you (he was no longer in the room when I re-entered my chat).

If a member were to do what Jupiter suggested in the above post, I would not be offended at all. I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to know if a model has noticed the tip, because it's quite possible that she didn't even notice it.

A member got mad at me a while ago, because I didn't notice his "Hi" in public chat, but he had posted it as I was responding to a PM about a private show (and I did accept the private show). I didn't even see the "Hi" until I rejoined public chat, and I also saw that he had posted "Fuck you then" (because he assumed I was ignoring his greeting). :roll: I PMed him to explain why I hadn't seen his message, and he accused me of lying. :lol: I told him that it's not my problem he doesn't know how to read "The model is in a private show," and I'm sure I told him something along the lines of "Eat a dick" or "Fuck off," and I just stopped talking with the butthurt crybaby.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Don't do what I once did and send her a passive aggressive email about the importance of saying 'thank you' when somebody does something for you. That's just poopy and immature :?

Like other folk have said, next time you talk to her (preferably after you've said 'hello' and asked her how she is) just politely ask if she got your tip. If she says yes and then still doesn't say 'thank you', then you can deduce that it's more than a simple case of her being forgetful/busy.
Maybe she has a problem with you, maybe she's just rude... I dunno, but you might wanna assess your relationship (such as it is) and look at the reasons why she chose not to thank you for your tip - is it something you've done? is it something you've said? or has she simply always been like this? (if it's the latter, then there be plenty of girls on MFC who seem genuinely grateful for each and every tip - my advice would be to seek a few of those out - you wouldn't have to look much further than the ladies of this here board, yo )
:twocents-02cents:

 

[Zoomer]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I didn't see it - but did you actually check her last online time? She may simply never have logged in - and therefore be blissfully ignorant of your woes and worries over a tip.

I would also say that not receiving a message doesn't mean someone is ignoring you. Does every tweet warrant a response? If so, are you still replying to the replies of replies of replies of replies of replies of replies to the tweet she replied to a month ago - in order to not cause offense?

So a lack of response for a period of time should not mean "GET OUT MY LIFE" - in any walk of life.

Hell, I've just made a move in an online chess game against my ex girlfriend. She's been waiting 2 weeks - and whilst she could claim the game won due to me not moving in the last 3 days - she doesn't. In the 21 months since we split up we still move as frequently as we can - but when she doesn't move for a week or two I don't think she is avoiding me or finally calling things a day. Last time it meant she was on holiday with her current boyfriend...

I keep wondering whether she will (I must admit) as it has been 18 months since we last saw each other (we went on a skiing holiday together, 3 months after we had split up) - but I hope we don't as she is awesome

So I would say - stop questioning things and putting meaning behind something for which I don't think you should. Maybe if you tweeted 2-3 times over the next month, and sent 1-2 messages on MFC to no response - maybe then I'd say "yeah, move on" - but otherwise... be patient

 

[Shaun__]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Does every tweet warrant a response?

I once saw a big tipper complaining that that a model had never replied to a tweet he sent her. She had given out a general reply to everyone that had asked the same question instead of answering everyone one at a time, and he deemed that insufficient. She had to take the time to sooth his hurt feelings, and keep him happy. Some members are a bit needy, or obsessed maybe.

 

[Just Me]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Unless I am mistaken, you can easily see if your offline tip went through and that she has seen it by checking your MFC mail. All offline tips show up in your sent messages on MFC mail and it even says if the person has read it.

Personally I would let it go. Either, she will thank you the next time you talk to each other or she won't. I certainly think it is rude not to say thank you to offline tips. It is not difficult to click on reply when checking MFC mail and saying thank you. I really do not care if her inbox is flooded with MFC mail, it is no excuse not to say thank you to someone sending you money. It is a part of her job and should be enjoyable since she is receiving appreciation when not working. :twocents-02cents:

 

[Jupiter551]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I don't think he's wondering if his tip went through, he's finding a way to politely force a response from her about it even if it's just a "oh I forgot!". Fair enough too, if he hasn't done something that he knows would alienate her then it sucks to be left hanging huh?

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

If you're wondering if you've been left in the dust or she didn't notice it, I think a DM or mfc mail saying "hey, is everything okay? I haven't heard from you in awhile" would be just fine. If she says "yeah, I've just been busy", then you know why she ignored your tip without even having to ask about it and feel icky for pointing out "hey, I sent you money!"

 

[tubby556]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Move on. You've got more time invested than money. I try to be a gentleman, but let's look at the core facts. You spend money on a woman to get naked and perform sexual acts for you on a camera so you can view it. That's the end point. She owes nothing to you and you owe nothing to her, save for mutual respect of being human beings.

 

[SNATCH]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Well you could just tweet or DM her or mfc mail quite casually, and friendly, asking if she recieved your previous messages or offline tip and was just wondering if your internet was playing up (or something like that).

I think that politely asks for a response, without coming off as demanding or putting her on the spot. If she doesn't respond just move on.

OR ASK IF MFC FUCKED SHIT UP. Lol. Perfectly acceptable to ask based on that reasoning. I think you should do what ^ says. I would. && I would hope if I didn't acknowledge an offline tip after a few days, that the person that tipped would be like HEY BITCH DID YOU GET MY SHIT OR WHAT?! lol. I don't suggest you saying that to her, cause I have a feeling, I'm probably one of the only models that would NOT be mad at that, lol.

I will say... Sometimes I wait a few days before I write back ANYONE whose offline tipped, usually over the weekends, cause I consider the weekends my OFF time, so I will check mails, read, but not respond. I also check everything from my phone a lot, so sometimes I don't want to write back from my phone... So I will not respond to wait til I can get on my pc, && have time to write out something other than just simply thank you.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

I loved both Evvie and Rogue's posts being one after the other! I agree with both of them too.

I'd go with your instincts, if you feel she might be upset with you/ignoring you then honestly I'd leave it. Maybe think about other girls reactions to you, are you a paranoid person? Were you pushing her/messaging her too much? Sometimes even if I like someone alright, if they continuously demand individual attention I just can't be bothered to reply anymore.

Also, just out of curiosity how much was this tip? Because if it were 20 tokens, then yeah, no offence but it is very easy to forget a 20 token offline tip, it'll make me smile, and if I'm chatting to the guy at the time I'll thank them, and I am thankful! But it can easily slip my mind, especially if I have a lot on. If it were 100 tokens+ then it's different, if it was a massive tip, then I'd reply and be ecstatic whoever it was!

Like the others said, she could quite likely be extremely busy/wrapped up in her own things and you're fussing for nothing. I'd suggest maybe going into her room when she's online, I sometimes wait for people to come online to thank them properly, so she might have a different reaction.

 

[dresden76]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Also, just out of curiosity how much was this tip? Because if it were 20 tokens, then yeah, no offence but it is very easy to forget a 20 token offline tip, it'll make me smile, and if I'm chatting to the guy at the time I'll thank them, and I am thankful! But it can easily slip my mind, especially if I have a lot on. If it were 100 tokens+ then it's different, if it was a massive tip, then I'd reply and be ecstatic whoever it was!

I really don't want to say because of privacy concerns, but it was a large amount.

Thank you everybody for your advice. I will probably ask her thru PM or DM, because of the fact that MFC has been giving me fits. So I will find out if she got it and leave it at that. In the future, I may reevaluate the situation. I do know that if I don't get answer I will distance myself from her. Even if I get a satisfactory answer, I may back away for awhile because maybe I am too invested into her and maybe I should back away.

Who Knows? But thanks again for all the help and please continue to contribute.

Thanks.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Move on. You've got more time invested than money. I try to be a gentleman, but let's look at the core facts. You spend money on a woman to get naked and perform sexual acts for you on a camera so you can view it. That's the end point. She owes nothing to you and you owe nothing to her, save for mutual respect of being human beings.

Kinda odd that you are telling other people why they spend money on MFC. You seem to be projecting your own reasons onto others, which isn't necessarily correct.

 

[Beach_Love]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Unless I am mistaken, you can easily see if your offline tip went through and that she has seen it by checking your MFC mail. All offline tips show up in your sent messages on MFC mail and it even says if the person has read it.

Personally I would let it go. Either, she will thank you the next time you talk to each other or she won't. I certainly think it is rude not to say thank you to offline tips. It is not difficult to click on reply when checking MFC mail and saying thank you. I really do not care if her inbox is flooded with MFC mail, it is no excuse not to say thank you to someone sending you money. It is a part of her job and should be enjoyable since she is receiving appreciation when not working. :twocents-02cents:

Dresden, that was really nice of you to send that tip. I'm new to camming/MCF but here is how I view my offline tips (which make up the majority of my tipping). When I send them I don't expect any reply. My main reward is just knowing that I was able to do something to help somebody, and thinking about the look her face when she gets the tip. If I get a TY note that's a bonus,
but what I really like and prefer is when she thanks me the next time I see her and my two friends are really good at showing their appreciation. But like I said in another post they're two absolute sweethearts who I wouldn't have bothered to take the time to get to know if they weren't. I'm really lucky to have met them, neither has ever pressured me in the slightest way to tip them so get to do so it's motivated purely by my generosity and desire to help them achieve their goals in life. One was bummed out last night that camming wasn't going so well lately but never asked for my help or indicated in any way that she was fishing for tips, it was just a conversation b/w friends. Since I was able to tip (was planning to that night anyway) I did both on and offline (just more than I had expected to). She was blown away my generosity and I ended up sending another offline tip after she logged off. If I don't get a reply til I see her again I don't care b/c I know that when I do it will be way better (and by that I mean hearing her say TY not just the naked stuff).

 

[tubby556]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Move on. You've got more time invested than money. I try to be a gentleman, but let's look at the core facts. You spend money on a woman to get naked and perform sexual acts for you on a camera so you can view it. That's the end point. She owes nothing to you and you owe nothing to her, save for mutual respect of being human beings.

Kinda odd that you are telling other people why they spend money on MFC. You seem to be projecting your own reasons onto others, which isn't necessarily correct.

You are not correct in your assumption of my motives. That being said, my blanket statement is true of the vast majority of paying users of adult cam sites such as MFC. That is undeniable.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

You are not correct in your assumption of my motives. That being said, my blanket statement is true of the vast majority of paying users of adult cam sites such as MFC. That is undeniable.

We seem to be making a lot of "false assumptions" about you lately. Why is that? Is it because of how you come across in your posts? The way your posts are worded?

 

[AmberCutie]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

You are not correct in your assumption of my motives. That being said, my blanket statement is true of the vast majority of paying users of adult cam sites such as MFC. That is undeniable.

We seem to be making a lot of "false assumptions" about you lately. Why is that? Is it because of how you come across in your posts? The way your posts are worded?

I know, it feels so strange to have all these posts coming from a guy who used to have a group of girls he called his "Angels" and treated so very nicely.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

You are not correct in your assumption of my motives. That being said, my blanket statement is true of the vast majority of paying users of adult cam sites such as MFC. That is undeniable.

We seem to be making a lot of "false assumptions" about you lately. Why is that? Is it because of how you come across in your posts? The way your posts are worded?

I know, it feels so strange to have all these posts coming from a guy who used to have a group of girls he called his "Angels" and treated so very nicely.

What's this Amber?

 

[mynameisbob84]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Alright, who did it? I'm gonna turn my back and count to 10. By the time I turn back around, I wanna know who did it. I wanna know who shit in tubby's cereal :-D

 

[ComicOzzie]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

Move on. You've got more time invested than money. I try to be a gentleman, but let's look at the core facts. You spend money on a woman to get naked and perform sexual acts for you on a camera so you can view it. That's the end point. She owes nothing to you and you owe nothing to her, save for mutual respect of being human beings.

Kinda odd that you are telling other people why they spend money on MFC. You seem to be projecting your own reasons onto others, which isn't necessarily correct.

You are not correct in your assumption of my motives. That being said, my blanket statement is true of the vast majority of paying users of adult cam sites such as MFC. That is undeniable.

Your opinion is undeniable? Got it.

 

[TashaDutch]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

did you check if she read the message that comes with the offline tip? (you can in your outbox folder)
if she doesn't use the actual homepage.. just the model admin.. she could have easily missed it.. you have to click the mfcmail button to confirm you had any messages at all
i can imagine not all models think about doing that..
twitter is crowded and everyone misses things on there.. its not that uncommon to miss a mention if you get 20,30 mentions a day..
the notification system doesn't always work well either... some people don't manually check the responses to tweets

like others said. best to just pm her and ask nicely before you assume that she missed all that on purpose
:twocents-02cents:

 

[fiver]

Re: What to do when a model doesn't acknowledge an offline t

When a model doesn't reply to an offline tip I sit and cry and cry and cry. And then I make a little bit of hot tea. The tea makes me feel better, but only a little. The hurt never really goes away.