Reconnected with a model I used to visit. One day comes and I'm like, hey can I get a skype show? I didn't wanna tip her mfc tokens for my own reasons, so we work out a price. I say ok. Then in the next sentence, oh but if you send 200 more you won't have to pay me tomorrow or another day for another skype. I'm extremely reluctant because of how she was in the past. I explained that I didn't want to feel entitled to her attention or that I felt like she owed me time so I preferred to just pay for each time as it came. She was like ohh but I wanna prove to you I'm different. Sigh. Ok, whatever. We'll see.
2 days later. Ohhh hey, can you help me with 200 more I wanna bla bla. I'm like nahh, I don't have it sorry. Couple days after that, ohh hey can you come on mfc and help me with a little to start the new session off good? I'm like, nah I still don't have much right now. I'll do it when I can. Couple days after that, Ohh you wanna help me on mfc and we go on skype? I told you, when I can I will. But didn't you say we could go on skype again since I gave you those extra? We'll I'm on mfc now..
Last night, hey you wanna come on mfc and hang out and so I can see you? I'm bored there's noone here. Now, this is where I fucked up. Because I had tokens and I coulda fucking swore I had that shit hidden, but I didn't and she found out. So very shortly was I was there before I was like, oh my stomach hurts I think I'm gonna go.
Why don't you tip me and we can talk on skype now and maybe play when you feel better? Nah, I think I'm just gonna use it for a private for when I feel better. I don't wanna private, I wanna skype! I don't feel we'll I'm sorry, and I log off
Then the texting began and I was cool until I get this shit: So move ur ass on mfc, tip it, and let me call youu!
So guess who didn't get the tokens and started calling me crying when she found out I spent it elsewhere. Was it fucked up to make my point like that, probably. I don't want to help or a better word pay someone simply because they keep asking, begging, for it. Then if I do, it's like I'm reinforcing negative behavior. And then it doesn't become me doing it out of my own free will, it becomes me being manipulated and controlled to do so.
And when I try to explain this it's: oh you always blame me! you never asked me for skype or call me, I told you to call whenever. I invited you to come here, you can fucking come tomorrow I don't care!
It was fucked up for me to even go there if I had no intentions on spending tokens on her. I felt like she owed me something, but it's true I didn't really call much or inquire about it. I just felt it was hard to because she kept asking for help and so I was feeling, I had to pay again for something I already paid for. And I could have just talked to her about my feelings instead of just blatantly being a dick about it. She just pushed me over the edge when she sent that: move ur ass on mfc bit.
