Wanting to start camming but my bf is uneasy about it, advice? Please

[MissCierraxoxo]

So I have been wanting to start camming for a while now but I have a bf that I have been with for 2 and a half yrs, I tried to talk to him about it a while back because I was thinking about dancing but he mentioned camming saying it would probably be safer. At the time I just let it go and didn't say anything else about it. Well I thought about it for a while and did some research and I actually am now very interested in camming and have been now for quite some time. So I brought it up to my bf and he seemed kind of upset about it, which I thought was odd because he brought it up to me originally. So I told him it was something I really wanted to do as I have always been very interested in sex work, and when I met him I was a sex worker but it was a different type of sex work. He says that he won't tell me what I can or can't do because it is my decision but that he doesnt really like the idea of me doing it. So I guess my question is how do I get him to come around to it? Or be more comfortable with me doing it? I know at first he probably won't be excited about it but I would like to somehow make him feel more comfortable with me doing this. We have always been very open with each other about everything but this subject has been hard to talk to him about and when I bring it up he tries to get away from this subject. I also want to note that he is normally very easy to talk to about anything and has never been judgemental about things usually and we also get along great. Any advice on this would be great.

 

[SMuser69]

He doesn't need to come around. He's being pretty honest with you. Just because your partner isn't happy about something that needs to be done doesn't mean he won't be supportive TO YOU when you do it. Understand the nature of honestly is accepting a truth you don't like and working through it. Maybe he'll work to provide an alternate financial alternative but when bills need to be paid he understands he can't control you. Understand that he's giving you an honest opinion of a situation without casting judgement.

tl;dr. Him being honest about a situation does not mean he doesn't trust or support your decisions. Men do have feelings too, but understand when something needs to be done.

 

[BiancaBaker]

So many girls come here asking the same question. Ultimately it's your decision yes and if camming is that important you need to be honest with him. Find out what bother's him about it and see if you can make a happy medium. Say you want to do g/g shows and he is uncomfy then don't do them (just an example) if what he is uncomfortable with is more than your willing to give up then you need to decide whether camming is right for you and if your willing to let him go to find someone who respects this job, who supports you and who will understand camming. It's not easy believe me but there are MANY many girls on this forum happily in relationships and married. So these guys DO exist! To make my bf understand more we started filming together and then he made his own c4s store and now does it part time. He loves what I do and supports most of my decisions. Of course there are things he is uncomfortable with and we talk about it (communication is key) resolve it and move on. As long as your honest, and communicating there should be nothing wrong with you camming especially when he recommended it.

 

[Mila_]

Bianca covered it pretty well. It comes to your priorities, your boyfriends priorities and how much each is willing to give up to accomodate the other person.

 

[BobbyB]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Who needs that.......

 

[Gen]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Who needs that.......

In that case I'd probably suggest better friends (or laughing it off and being glad I was sleeping with a chick they were paying to watch).

 

[BiancaBaker]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Who needs that.......

Are your friends paying my bills? No I didn't think so. So who gives a crap what they think.

 

[FluffyGalore]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Who needs that.......

Do you really think if your gf was a cam girl that your friends would own up to having to pay her and others to get off instead of being able to get their own gf. Lol no they would keep that dirty little secret to themselves.

Edit to add: "she is doing really EVERYTHING" what does that even mean?

 

[BobbyB]

Do you really think if your gf was a cam girl that your friends would own up to having to pay her and others to get off instead of being able to get their own gf. Lol no they would keep that dirty little secret to themselves.

Edit to add: "she is doing really EVERYTHING" what does that even mean?

Maybe I should mention I am from Europe........
I would expect the guys to buy some beers and have a good time while checking together how far they can push my GF and reporting with a big grin to me, asking if I want to join them next time......

Everything is all they could come up with asking her to do.....

 

[JoleneBrody]

Watching cams together for fun might be a good idea. MFC or chaturbate especially are good places to watch and learn about camming in a more casual social way

 

[MissCierraxoxo]

Thanks everyone for the advice I do really appreciate it. I think I will talk to my bf and find out what bothers him about camming and see if we can come to a happy medium with what we're both comfortable with, when I decided that I wanted to cam I guess I didn't really think he would have any issues so I think I was just suprised because he is a very open minded person, but the advice you all have given me is very helpful and I'm definitely going to try to talk to him about it and see where things go. I'm not worried about him leaving me over it or me leaving him because I think no matter what he will support my decision I think I just wanted him to be more comfortable with it is all.
Also I don't think my bf is worried about his friends seeing me on cam I mean how can they laugh about it if there paying to watch it? Also he moved back to my home state with me about a year ago so most of his good friends aren't even where we live now.
When I talk to him I will have him watch some of the cams with me and see if maybe that will help, thanks so much for all of the helpful advice you all are awesome!!

 

[FluffyGalore]

Maybe I should mention I am from Europe........
I would expect the guys to buy some beers and have a good time while checking together how far they can push my GF and reporting with a big grin to me, asking if I want to join them next time......

Everything is all they could come up with asking her to do.....

And I'm from Scotland what exactly is your point. If anything Glasgow guys would be guilty of this and more. But again who would own up to actually having to pay YOUR gf for things you get for free.

 

[BobbyB]

And I'm from Scotland what exactly is your point. If anything Glasgow guys would be guilty of this and more. But again who would own up to actually having to pay YOUR gf for things you get for free.

My reference to Europe was only to indicate that there is sometimes a different sense of humor in Europe compared to the US.

This thread is about possible issues a partner could have regarding camming and I just gave an example.

 

[FluffyGalore]

Thanks everyone for the advice I do really appreciate it. I think I will talk to my bf and find out what bothers him about camming and see if we can come to a happy medium with what we're both comfortable with, when I decided that I wanted to cam I guess I didn't really think he would have any issues so I think I was just suprised because he is a very open minded person, but the advice you all have given me is very helpful and I'm definitely going to try to talk to him about it and see where things go. I'm not worried about him leaving me over it or me leaving him because I think no matter what he will support my decision I think I just wanted him to be more comfortable with it is all.
Also I don't think my bf is worried about his friends seeing me on cam I mean how can they laugh about it if there paying to watch it? Also he moved back to my home state with me about a year ago so most of his good friends aren't even where we live now.
When I talk to him I will have him watch some of the cams with me and see if maybe that will help, thanks so much for all of the helpful advice you all are awesome!!

That's what me and my partner did it really helped us understand it more. Good luck.

 

[yummybrownfox]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Who needs that.......

Yikes. Probably ain't very good friends then, if that is how they'd behave about this whole thing. Good grief.

 

[MiaFoxUK]

If you wanted to be an actress and he told you that you couldn't do any romance scenes you would laugh at him and tell him to stfu right?

 

[AudreySparks]

My boyfriend wasn't okay with it at first either but I talked with him about it, gave him information and we watched a few popular MFC girls every night so he can see it's not just constantly "naked and fuck myself" kind of thing. Then he came around to it.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I don't know that Bobby B's point really needed to be made, but he's not entirely wrong. His example may not have been the best, but there will undoubtedly be things about dating a cam girl that would be undesirable to a lot of men. Friends or workmates of your boyfriend taking you private and then being a dick about it to said boyfriend might not be that likely to occur - and would certainly indicate that your boyfriend is in need of better friends if it did - but at the same time, it's the kind of thing that could happen, and is the kind of thing that, should you start camming, you'd be opening yourself and your boyfriend up to. So it's something worth discussing with him at the very least.

Also!

Do you really think if your gf was a cam girl that your friends would own up to having to pay her and others to get off instead of being able to get their own gf. Lol no they would keep that dirty little secret to themselves.

Not that you're wrong necessarily, but this kind of thinking does expose a pretty dim view of the types of men who ultimately allow you to live the life you've chosen for yourself, innit.

 

[MuffyMasters]

I'm from the opposite end of the spectrum. My boyfriend is actually the one who got me into camming! As some of the other girls have said, I don't think you will be able to talk him into it. His preferences are his preferences. I think it really just depends how much it bothers him. Is it a deal breaker? Or is it something that he doesn't like, but can deal with? Hope it all works out for you

 

[MissCierraxoxo]

If you wanted to be an actress and he told you that you couldn't do any romance scenes you would laugh at him and tell him to stfu right?

Yes I probably would

 

[Lelo1]

From a male perspective one thing that would not make me happy if my GF would be camming is the risk that my buddies find out about it and make comments like : " Great Dildo show last night by your GF. I took her private then and she is doing really EVERYTHING. "

Honestly if some one being a dick. All you to do is brag about how you get to 'hit it'. while they're spanking themselves off.

 

[deadlake]

in my case, me and my boyfriend came up with the idea together, and so we are kind of working on it as a team. also i personally am going to be doing non-erotic shows, so more teasing, chatting, getting to know the members kind of vibe as that is what i am comfortable with doing. maybe this is something you could think about if its the explicit content that will make him uncomfortable? or yeah, as other people have said, talk about it more and view cams together and decide on what you both feel comfortable with, or can compromise about. it sounds to me like he will be supportive of your decision, so it sounds like you've just gotta discuss it and research and see what happens from it. good luck!

 

[Minase]

go ahead and be a cam girl just dont tell it to your BF

 

[AmberCutie]

go ahead and be a cam girl just dont tell it to your BF

Could you take a chill pill on posting random and terrible advice all over the forum?

 

[FluffyGalore]

I don't know that Bobby B's point really needed to be made, but he's not entirely wrong. His example may not have been the best, but there will undoubtedly be things about dating a cam girl that would be undesirable to a lot of men. Friends or workmates of your boyfriend taking you private and then being a dick about it to said boyfriend might not be that likely to occur - and would certainly indicate that your boyfriend is in need of better friends if it did - but at the same time, it's the kind of thing that could happen, and is the kind of thing that, should you start camming, you'd be opening yourself and your boyfriend up to. So it's something worth discussing with him at the very least.

Also!



Not that you're wrong necessarily, but this kind of thinking does expose a pretty dim view of the types of men who ultimately allow you to live the life you've chosen for yourself, innit.

I am assuming you think I'm taking the piss out of the kind of guys that watch cam and watch and spend money on me. If so then you couldn't be more wrong. The point I was making was what guy is going to own up to his friend and mock him for having a gf that cams when he has in fact been watching and paying her knowingly for sexy internet play via sites like MFC. Why would any guy admit to that??? NOT taking the mick out of customers and in fact friends I've made through camming.
Possibly reading what was said beforehand may have cleared that up for you.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I am assuming you think I'm taking the piss out of the kind of guys that watch cam and watch and spend money on me. If so then you couldn't be more wrong. The point I was making was what guy is going to own up to his friend and mock him for having a gf that cams when he has in fact been watching and paying her knowingly for sexy internet play via sites like MFC. Why would any guy admit to that??? NOT taking the mick out of customers and in fact friends I've made through camming.
Possibly reading what was said beforehand may have cleared that up for you.

That is what I inferred from your post, yes.

Do you really think if your gf was a cam girl that your friends would own up to having to pay her and others to get off instead of being able to get their own gf. Lol no they would keep that dirty little secret to themselves.

It's good to know that that's not what you intended to imply though.

As to who would take their friend's GF private just so they make their "friend" awkward about it after the fact... a disrespectful dick would do that. Sadly, they do exist.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

am assuming you think I'm taking the piss out of the kind of guys that watch cam and watch and spend money on me. If so then you couldn't be more wrong. The point I was making was what guy is going to own up to his friend and mock him for having a gf that cams when he has in fact been watching and paying her knowingly for sexy internet play via sites like MFC. Why would any guy admit to that??? NOT taking the mick out of customers and in fact friends I've made through camming.
Possibly reading what was said beforehand may have cleared that up for you.

Guys give each other shit, it is what we do. Most of the time it is all in good fun. Sometimes, a few guys go too far because they are assholes, or they simply don't recognize when it is a sensitive subject.
I'd expect that most guys would get teased by at least one or two of their friends, if his girlfriend was cam model, and that was well known. In the same way, guys get teased when they date a stripper. Now if it is a serious relationship, say living together than most guys would keep their mouth shut. It is a valid fear, although with so many sites the odds of recognizing a model is Joe Girlfriend is fairly low.

 

[YelloMit]

go ahead and be a cam girl just dont tell it to your BF