Very confused about an interaction.

[Horatio317]

Hi,
I am very new to this, but I assumed that the same rules apply to cam girls that apply to exotic dancers: the model will get close but not too close. They will be interested without being too interested. The whole experience is transactional. They are doing this as work, not play. I truly understand. I believe that most guys who fall for the model forget that last because we, as customers, are thwre for play and not work.
Now, where I have a wtf moment. I have a specific type that I like. As it turns out, Colombia has many that fit that. There is one girl who I have primarilly visited and we talk a fair amount (yes, I know that is really a "best practice" for models) and I tend to act how I was raised to act aroumd women. Polite and respectful. At first, it weny pretty much the way it should go and then this model mentioned that she had been temp banned a while ago for giving out her number. This was out of nowhere as I assumed all models would guard their private info like it was the holy grail. She has started mentioning every day how she wishes we could talk outside of work. She also started asking if I talk to other girls and said she was afraid that I would get bored of her. She then said that I was the only guy who treats her like a person and not just a sex toy.
Can someone please explain whether this is a normal part of camming, or just a weird gimmick to try and create a perceived deeper bond? Thanks in advance.

 

[MarlieJane]

It is most likely the very last thing you said.
"Love scamming" is what it's called and while its not uncommon, I wouldn't call it a normal part of camming.

 

[IsabelaHarlow]

As MarlieJane said, this is most likely "love scamming" as she wants to make it seem like you're more special than the rest of the guys on the platform you're using. It's something normal to want to create a bond with the members, and contact outside of work can definitely help doing that. You just have to know that this is normal behavior from some models, and some models don't encourage this at all as they want to separate their camming life from their normal life. So keep this in mind for the future. Hope this helps and keep having fun, that's the most important part.

 

[Horatio317]

It is most likely the very last thing you said.
"Love scamming" is what it's called and while its not uncommon, I wouldn't call it a normal part of camming.

Thank you! I read many of the "I love the camgirl" threads and they seemed mostly about customers falling for women. Now I will look up love scamming. This is really too bad, as I enjoyed the time with her.

 

[Horatio317]

As MarlieJane said, this is most likely "love scamming" as she wants to make it seem like you're more special than the rest of the guys on the platform you're using. It's something normal to want to create a bond with the members, and contact outside of work can definitely help doing that. You just have to know that this is normal behavior from some models, and some models don't encourage this at all as they want to separate their camming life from their normal life. So keep this in mind for the future. Hope this helps and keep having fun, that's the most important part.

Thank you for this. Most cam girl love threads were guys falling for the fantasy. I will havr to look up love scamming. Pity, really.

 

[lilithvalentine]

Is this considered bad practice? I like to stay in touch with people who tip so they remember me and I try to offer a bit of an e girlfriend experience

 

[Kathrynne]

"She also started asking if I talk to other girls and said she was afraid that I would get bored of her. She then said that I was the only guy who treats her like a person and not just a sex toy." - it's sound like manipulation...
it's normal when you interact outside the site, share news, chat and so on, but this saying sound really like a "Love scamming". I don't think this kind of talk is acceptable, there are a lot of more normal methods to attract a member and make him come back. I wouldn't fall for it, but that's my subjective opinion.

 

[Kathrynne]

Is this considered bad practice? I like to stay in touch with people who tip so they remember me and I try to offer a bit of an e girlfriend experience

This is fine as long as you don't mislead him. If you both understand what game you are playing, then that's great.

 

[rockin_rod]

Since many users (sadly) treat models with disrespect, there is a possibility that this model just appreciates a different type of viewer, enjoys your interactions and is hoping to get you to become a regular.
Opposite side of the coin, showing kindness and being a tipper will make you a much easier mark for a love con.
If she's from a studio, then there is also a possibility that she is being asked to treat you this way by her employer, regardless of her own feelings on that tactic.

Best advice I can offer is to play a straight game, continue to visit whoever you want to visit, remember this is work for the model and entertainment for you, and avoid any request for off-site payments.

 

[CheeseMoon]

She has started mentioning every day how she wishes we could talk outside of work [...] She then said that I was the only guy who treats her like a person and not just a sex toy.

It's a trap. Sounds like many - but not all - of the Colombianas I have spent more time on than the occasional passing message the last 3-4 years. If you behave like a normal person, show up and tip regularly and interact with her like she isn't one of the cheaper inflatable sex dolls, you risk tagging yourself as a gullible sucker in need of a wallet draining girlfriend experience. It's not a rule though, but there is always a risk you're just being fed bad pickup lines (for lack of a better word). There are of course lots of genuinely nice models who aren't out to scam you, but when they blurt "you're special and a keeper" or "WTF, you're like a normal person!" after a week or two, it's probably time to stop being ridiculous and leave. It's entertainment, not dating.

I have lost count of how many times I've been told that I'm the world's most handsome, generous, funny and kind person, but it usually ends with them asking for the last 1000 tokens to complete their daily goal, offsite payments for broken appliances, broken phones, desperately needed vacations with her gay best friend or impotent roomate or new dentures for her grandmother.

Sort-of disclaimer: I browse a lot and seldom stay in a room more than a couple of weeks, and I never do money, communication or follow models outside the cam site. I have enough to keep up with. YMMV.

 

[rockin_rod]

but it usually ends with them asking for [........] offsite payments for broken appliances, broken phones, desperately needed vacations with her gay best friend or impotent roomate or new dentures for her grandmother.

Yes. YES.
Years ago, a model I had been a regular of for a loooong time asked me to help her out.
Story went that she was kicked out of her apartment in the middle of winter, I even got sent photos of piles of her belongings in garbage sacks in the apartment foyer, as she moved out........
She asked for help to make a deposit on a new place.
Trusting her, I sent a large amount (as an offline tip through the site). Not that I couldn't afford it, but it was everything I had budgeted on spending on the site for a fair while.
Then she disappeared for a couple of weeks.
When she returned to work, surprise surprise she had a lovely fresh tan from some exotic destination, and the latest just-released iPhone.
Big lesson learned.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Big lesson learned.

Yeah, what the hell. You tend to lose a little bit of faith in humanity after an episode like that! I wonder if she realised that shw was shitting her own bed when lied to you? Probably not.
But then again it's not all bad. 99% of models I hang around with for a while are completely unproblematic, professional and do just what it says on the tin!

 

[rockin_rod]

Yeah, what the hell. You tend to lose a little bit of faith in humanity after an episode like that! I wonder if she realised that shw was shitting her own bed when lied to you? Probably not.
But then again it's not all bad. 99% of models I hang around with for a while are completely unproblematic, professional and do just what it says on the tin!

TBH I stopped visiting sites for quite a while after that learning experience. I think she just saw an opportunity and took it, without thinking through the consequences. And there would have been plenty more to play, after I left.
But I returned to the site eventually, and found a happy place where I now spend my time. All is good, I think it actually helped me to read the signs and pick a room that suited me.

 

[Jay_Storm]

Usually a scam but you can develop something close to a real friendship with a model. But it is always about boundaries and keeping a level head.

I am friendly with four models offline to varying degrees. I rarely visit three of them online but we still have regular chats with no financial exchange. Like you, I always treat them with respect and our "friendship" grew organically. We talk about normal mundane things and a couple of us share dog photos and other slices of life. But we also respect each others privacy.

At the end of the day they aren't that much different than most of my "friends" on Facebook. People I kind of know through limited interactions.

Just be mindful because models are on the job and make their living flattering you.

 

[Horatio317]

Thank you all for the responses. Twenty years as a bank manager has made me a bit jaded, but this all felt a bit clumsy and off to me. I am glad that I wasn't crazy. The good thing about CB is that I can just not go to her cam again and the issue resolves itself. I have since looked up common cam scams and I feel like she is doing this along with having a translator in the "office". Once again, thanks for helping me realize I am not completely crazy! Oh and a side, I would never send money to a stranger.

 

[ericlafayet]

I feel so identified with you guys.

I have recently had two different experiences but both related to this.

The first, with a girl who I did consider we were friends. (In fact it hurts me to have to consider whether or not it was friendship, and if that friendship is over).
The truth is that we have talked a lot, and I have a certain affection and confidence in her. We have added on social and we know about our lives from each other.
But then she started to often say compromising things to me, like if we we're in a relationship or like she were looking for something.
This overwhelmed me a lot, and I did not understand how it could be possible (we're thousands km away, and I have nothing special that could take the attention on a girl like that)

The second, another girl I wouldn't say "friendship" with, but we have spent many hours on skye, and I don't know how to explain it... all the time with her has been so wonderful, I couldn't believe it was happening. Similar to the other girl, lots of messages with so amazing words of me, like if I were so special and different of other guys.

Thanks to ACF I have realized that it is the usual, and now I understand what was happening.

Why is this happening? I don't think it's necessary to confuse to gain engagement. If I enter these pages it is to have a good time, without commitments or complications. If I were looking for that, I wouldn't look for it in these pages.

 

[Omne35]

TBH I've never really understood the desire to meet in real life. The entire atmosphere is conducive to not knowing what the other party is like in reality. As many posts on here have shown spending time talking offline or following social media still doesn't mean you reliably know much about them. I think too many customers project way too much when interacting to the point where pretty much anything the model says or does is interpreted as reinforcing their idea of a relationship.
Yes means yes and no means yes.

 

[ericlafayet]

I think too many customers project way too much when interacting to the point where pretty much anything the model says or does is interpreted as reinforcing their idea of a relationship.

Well, first of all, we're humans, not robots. We can't just disconnect our feelings and emotions. Also, In my case, I'm so clumsy/awkard (dunno what's the best word in english here) when dealing with feelings when connecting with a girl.

Thanks to ACF I have a much clear point of view but before, I was discovering camsites while meeting new models and having those experiences. I was not looking for any relationship and I'm not open to, but I really thought those were a real thing.

If you have that ability to keep everything under control, good for you. But please understand not everyone is like you. Let's respect and listen everyone.

 

[Omne35]

Well, first of all, we're humans, not robots. We can't just disconnect our feelings and emotions. Also, In my case, I'm so clumsy/awkard (dunno what's the best word in english here) when dealing with feelings when connecting with a girl.

Thanks to ACF I have a much clear point of view but before, I was discovering camsites while meeting new models and having those experiences. I was not looking for any relationship and I'm not open to, but I really thought those were a real thing.

If you have that ability to keep everything under control, good for you. But please understand not everyone is like you. Let's respect and listen everyone.

Actually I wasn't referring to you. I was talking generally about the subject of the thread. Sorry if you took it that way, it wasn't intended.

 

[ericlafayet]

Actually I wasn't referring to you. I was talking generally about the subject of the thread. Sorry if you took it that way, it wasn't intended.

I know, I was also speaking generally and just used my experience to explain myself. It's ok

Also, of course you're right.

 

[Horatio317]

TBH I've never really understood the desire to meet in real life. The entire atmosphere is conducive to not knowing what the other party is like in reality. As many posts on here have shown spending time talking offline or following social media still doesn't mean you reliably know much about them. I think too many customers project way too much when interacting to the point where pretty much anything the model says or does is interpreted as reinforcing their idea of a relationship.
Yes means yes and no means yes.

I think that a lot of confusion for customers begins when it is the model who starts talking about meeting irl and who takes the transactional fantasy and turns it into what appears to be a mail order bride pitch. I understand that confusion is their goal, but that just seems inappropriate. I absolutely understand that many customers project, and can be weirdly rude, but this just reinforces that everyone should keep their guard up. Pity.

 

[misterical]

Hi,
I am very new to this, but I assumed that the same rules apply to cam girls that apply to exotic dancers: the model will get close but not too close. They will be interested without being too interested. The whole experience is transactional. They are doing this as work, not play. I truly understand. I believe that most guys who fall for the model forget that last because we, as customers, are thwre for play and not work.
Now, where I have a wtf moment. I have a specific type that I like. As it turns out, Colombia has many that fit that. There is one girl who I have primarilly visited and we talk a fair amount (yes, I know that is really a "best practice" for models) and I tend to act how I was raised to act aroumd women. Polite and respectful. At first, it weny pretty much the way it should go and then this model mentioned that she had been temp banned a while ago for giving out her number. This was out of nowhere as I assumed all models would guard their private info like it was the holy grail. She has started mentioning every day how she wishes we could talk outside of work. She also started asking if I talk to other girls and said she was afraid that I would get bored of her. She then said that I was the only guy who treats her like a person and not just a sex toy.
Can someone please explain whether this is a normal part of camming, or just a weird gimmick to try and create a perceived deeper bond? Thanks in advance.

I've not experience anything overtly scammy in my time as a customer. However, I have had some regular models who I've visited often. As a general rule, I've found the most attentive ones to be the riskiest. I've had models sending me personalised messages every day, including pictures. By personalised messages, I mean ones making reference to things we have discussed, not just generic messages with my username inserted. I always feel that the models who love bomb you are the ones wanting to drain your bank account with private shows. I can certainly say that has been my experience with some Colombian models. On the other hand, I have what I consider to be a fairly close friendship with another model in Colombia who couldn't be any less responsive to private communication. I've never been asked directly for money for rent, appliances etc and if I did then I'd be out of there like a shot. I've also not connected outside of the site with any model. Mostly this is because I like having everything in one place but also because I don't want any blowback into my private or professional life.