This is not exactly on topic, but I think it is close enough.
Let me preface this story with a little info about me that I feel needs to be known so it is understood why I did what I did. At one point in my life you might say I was involved in a stalking relationship for the better part of 5 years. I was the stalked and my stalkers most often took the form of uniformed men and woman working as teams and driving very conspicuous uniform vehicles. Like me, they often worked outside the law, the difference was that they did so with impunity. (They were not very good stalkers, and very often overlooked key bits of evidence or connections that a good stalker would not have.) There were other stalkers who were on the same team, but did not typically wear uniforms, and carried gold badges. (They tended to be very good stalkers, and because I knew this, I became very good at covering my trail. That was a long time ago, and I rarely think in these terms anymore, but having once trained myself to think this way, I can not help but sometimes fall back into that mind set when I see an obvious stalker situation in front of me. Becoming good at not being stalked, also gives you the skill set to be a good stalker, as you have to think as the stalker does to avoid him.)
Shortly after joining this forum I saw a post from a Model here that was about a craigslist ad she had run. It told of some basic info about a lost item she was hoping to recover and that was why she had made the craigslist ad. I knew the Model vaguely, - had been in her room a few times, and knew what state she lived in. One of the times I had been in her room she was broadcasting from a tourist location, and I remembered that she had said she was tired and still had to drive 2 hours to get home. When that old mind set kicked in I would like to say that my only motivation to check these clues out was because I wished to alert the Model if she had given her self up, but I was motivated as much by my arrogance, and ego, saying, you can find her.
There were two possible Craigslist locations the fit within the 2 hour drive time parameter. There was one word she had used in her post here that was part of the description she said she left on the craigslist ad that I knew would not be a very common hit in a key word search. I checked the wrong craigslist first which took me about 15-20 minutes. when I went to the second craigslist, I found the ad first try.
The ad gave her phone #, and no exact address, but the street and cross street from which the item had disappeared. My first thought was to call and tell her to delete the ad right away, but I decided against this for two reasons. One; I did not want to freak her out, and I thought a phone call might do that. Two; and this was my greater concern, is I did not want to have any record of her personal info, and placing the call would give me that. I figured she would be checking her email pretty often, and there was a craigslist anon email contact attached to the ad. I explained who I was, and how I had found her. I also told her what ever she did not to email me back, - I did not mind if she had my email address, but I did not want hers' under such circumstances.
From what I remember I sent that email mid morning, and about 11pm that night I saw her on MFC. I went in and said hi. I then asked if she had got my email, thinking she had. She looked confused and started to ask me what I meant. I then explained via PM what I was talking about. That did indeed freak her out a bit, but it was unavoidable. She told her room something had come up and she had to go, and quickly logged off.
What I did was very junior grade detective work, and what is the scary thought to me is that most cam fans are not thinking this way, because why would they, but the ones you might have to worry about, are going to be thinking exactly this way.
I am going to give my honest opinion about the stalker thing that will prolly not set too well with some. I know as a man that in many ways I can not understand fully the vulnerability that a woman must feel. I also realize that anyone who has ever experienced a full on scary stalking is going to be very sensitive to the issue. And I absolutely understand erring to the safe side, because the idea that almost all cam fans are not going to be thinking like stalkers, is I think correct, but as my experience has shown it does not take much info to be dangerous if you happen to put it out there while a stalker is watching. (Potentially I could have cruised around the neighborhood on street view and found some prominent Victorian, or stone front home, called the Model claiming I had her missing item and had checked craigslist real quick before heading out of town and got lucky, and how long have you lived there, - you know that old Victorian two blocks from you, I grew up in that house, I'm headed out the door I'll drop it by, or 100 other ways of gaining her confidence once I have her #) You really can't be too careful, and the odds I think are pretty good that you might get away with being a little relaxed, but is being stalked the sort of thing you want to gamble on at any odds?
All that said, here's what might ruffle a few feathers, but I think any one who does not see this as a reasonable critique, is not looking at the whole picture with an unbiased eye. Or just does not pay any attention to this issue. There are times when stalking is not an issue and because a member, or model mentions something that in a different context could be a stalking concern, someone fails to see the true context and over reacts to the comment. When this happens, and it is not a stalking concern, it is like you as a member are being told you are evil, and it often also feels like the model concerned is being told she is a crazy person, or an idiot. And I don't even have a problem with someone framing what I and a model don't see as being a stalking issue, in the context of a stalking issue. I don't have a problem with anyone thinking I am possibly evil, and that my model friend is crazy or an idiot, but if we as grown adults are good with it, then keep those thoughts to yourself, or at least voice your personal concern via PM. Screaming STALKER every time there is any indication that a Model and a member might share personal info, or heaven forbid meet in person, IMhO is no different from crying wolf, and it has the same detrimental effect of desensitizing some to the fact that there are dangers out there. I'm done, and if you think I don't understand how huge this issue is, skip back 2 or 3 paragraphs and when you get to this one don't read it again, because it obviously makes you irrational. (Did I just say that out loud?)
PS. I don't mean for the last part of my post, (the rant), to be directed solely at Models, I purposely framed by criticism in a non gender manor, because, though I have seen Models react this way more often than members, I have seen times when it was a member that IMO has over reacted, and plenty of times when they have jumped on in support.
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